Put on your capes and rub the Unicorn belly aka "my dear, please pour baby gravy on my egg!" - JUST SHAGGING PART 18!

[ZingWantsCake]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share and with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo;

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

The link to Part 17 is here

Happy shagging shaggers!

no grad thread link sorry, can someone else add this please?

minion sorry to hear your news, try to keep positive though. Doctors won't tell you they're feeling positive about the prognosis unless they really are.

essie looks like your downstairs is fighting fit and ready for action!

Didn't use OPKs this month, prob about 6dpo and no hints of anything either way... (Twiddles thumbs)

Sorry for your shitty news minion. Glad you're getting to visit your dad soon.

essie great news on the results. must be a relief?

I'm either about to ice or have just iced we've jsed a bit but perhaps not as much as previous months. Ds woke at 3am last night and once he was settled back to sleep we took the chance for a quickie . I'm tired today!!

Oh minion, what horrible news. You sound like you are coping with it very well after the shock. Don't feel guilty about not being there, life isn't that straight forward. I am sure he completely understands and you can still talk to him every day if needed. You'll be with him in no time and DH sounds like he's doing a grand job in the mean time.

Good news on the blood results then essie, agreed its odd to think some people discussed your cervix without you even being there. How rude!

This jsing is tiring wagga but good work on the quickie! haha.

wagga we def dtd less, we came to the conclusion that concentrated dtd lead to less spermage do to chill out a bit.

Minion- so sorry about your news. Didn't want to read and run. I had similar news delivered to me quite a few years back now, so I know how you must be feeling. hold on to all of the positives that you can and even though it's hard, try not to think the worst. Fifi is right about doctors only saying they are positive if they really are. Glad that your OH is looking after you. I found it helpful to talk it all through and let it all out (including at times my worst fears). It helped me not to dwell on things. If OH isn't around or can't do that for you then try writing them down as that can work too. I hope this helps. Thinking of you. X

Fifi and Cookie- sorry if I got you mixed up. Hoping you're both well though!

Wagga- sorry for the insensitivity of others. hopefully she'll apologise.

Hi all, I'm still fairly new to mumsnet and when I first came on the first thing I attached myself to was one of the BFP buses.. 2 months down the line that is far too stressful for me so I'm giving this one a go after being pointed in this direction by Waggamama

I haven't caught up with this fred (?) Yet due to time issues but I will once I'm home again later. And I can't copy as on a phone so can someone add me to the role call please?

Name: NeuroticSweetTalk
Children: Aside from a DP who acts like a 2 year old sometimes, nope.
TTC since: September 2013

:)

Cleared my cookies, and then when searching for mumsnet this is the first thing I come across!

Independent

Sorry for your news minon. X

Just seen the indy article, makes the JSers sound awful. (Name changed grad here), relurking now.

Welcome neurotic! Don't worry yo much about trying to catch up just join in where you can. The fred has been full of shitty news recently for a few of us.

That independent article is awful qnd totally pointless. I would expect such dross from the daily fail.

Happy shagging!

hello all, so sorry about your dad Minion. I hope you're having a nice weekend and feeling ok.

Good news on the test results Essie (are you named after the nail polish, btw?!)

ERTD just finished so about to get on the cape action! I'm going to try a completely different approach this month in terms of HPT. I always wait and wait to see if ERTD turns up, which gets my hopes up etc so I'm going to see if it's more or less depressing to test early - I might even do one today, ho ho ho. Going to be doing OPKs too (contraband I know!) and see how it goes.

Hope you're all having good weekend. I've been to see my little nephew who's nearly 3 and feel completely exhausted!

xx

Lol that article was blatantly written by a prissy 'upper-class' sexually depraved male... so what if you're no further than two clicks away from a lengthy discussion on cervical mucus, that's helping to those TTC and is no different to a predominantly male forum where you're more than likely no further than 2 clicks away from some egotistical asshole bragging how he 'hit it and quit it' with some (maybe) unsuspecting female at a drinking hole

Bet he's just shocked the talk section isn't filed with just lengthy discussions about hair and nails.... How sexist. (Then again if it is a woman What's her problem? )

Haha neurotic that's it isn't it? It's stupid expectations of what "women" should be discussing on the internet.

Yeah the daily mail article says before the Internet those kinds of discussions were for women, their best friends and a merlot that were best forgotten in the morning. Two things wrong with that 1) what if we like Jack not merlot? And 2) that reporter does know it's not the 50s? If not someone should really tell him, it's cruel to let him carry on this way...

I PMSL @ "lost his innocence"

I hope you read this Mr.Peck.
and if you do here is my view.
FOTDFSOFAWYATFOSM

work that out you wankbadger.

sorry to hear your news min you are in my thoughts x

re article, I've been here since about thread 15 I think and some of those quotes I don't even recognise! must find me whatever thread he was reading, sounds much more exciting. gutted he missed out the capes, unicorns and caves!

Is it wrong to be a little bit proud of that article about our Fred?! Lol.

What a load of rubbish though. How dare we come together and ask questions about things that the writer will never even experience or understand. Thanks to the writer, Tom, though for stopping by to read about our little lives.

Tosser.

Dulcet

I'd say he is a cunt, but that would be derogatory to cunts!

More than agree zing. He won't use that quite though!

Just not sure why it's such a big deal to the public what we discuss...

HE's just milking the Penis Beaker cow (now that is an image and a half!)

Mocking this thread is a hit below the belt, insensitive and kind of immoral.

that man is pathetic - best to be ignored

He got an attention seeking headline but I'm afraid our Fred isn't scandalous whatever the name!

If he wants that he should head to relationships :)

Hello all, minion sorry to hear your sad news!

Hope all is well with everyone :)

I was going to post about the article and then decided not to bother; it's not worth it. Depravity? Stick; wrong end, for this thread anyway. Thus case closed for me. All in my humble opinion, of course.

Hope everyone is well. Hope you're okay Min.

Minion

so sorry to hear about your dad.
(I thought I said that earlier, but I must have deleted message accidentally. sorry)

hope you are ok. (hugs)