Put on your capes and rub the Unicorn belly aka "my dear, please pour baby gravy on my egg!" - JUST SHAGGING PART 18!

[ZingWantsCake]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share and with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo;

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

The link to Part 17 is here

Happy shagging shaggers!

no grad thread link sorry, can someone else add this please?

Oh no- he's on the other side if the world Zing so no chance of meeting up! Thanks for the good wishes and thoughts Zing- sending them right back at ya!

Oh essie, there are so many stories like that. I know a girl with 7 kids, 7! Never worked a day either. I say know a girl, we are related! Lol. Sometimes that gets me really hard. I can't even make one! I try to rationalise it by thinking her having 7 kids is not the reason I can't have any.

Poor timing on the visit bear, but these things are bound to happen. Fingers crossed anyway. Have you discussed IVF between you two?

Not yet Dulcet- we're just taking it a step at a time and seeing what the options are. I think we'd do it if it meant we'd get our baby, but is just rather it happened naturally because I don't want to go through all the hormone treatment and stuff. I think it would be a bit of a nightmare with work, but will just have to wait and see.

I know two women who had 15 kids each!!!!

Bear - a friend of a friend had ivf and to give herself the best chance of success she did reflexology. She did concieve. So may be worth a shot?

Essie - I looked after a baby who's mum smoked through the whole pregnancy. She came out a tiny :( mind you by the time she was 1 she was mahooosive, drank alot of milk! Mum did the same thing with baby number 2 its like she didn't care about the risk. So sad!!

I

bear 15? That's above and beyond the call of duty!

Jesus, I've just realised that they had enough kids to fill a classroom between them!

Thanks for the advice *Fifi. I think I might see about acupuncture first, but it's just fitting everything in to my absurdly busy life. I think if I ever do get upduffed I'm going to have to work part-time as I couldn't do all this and look after a child! How are you BTW?

Aww poor wee mites. People who smoke throughout just make my blood boil.
To think there's people who eat healthily, don't smoke etc etc who just can't get upduffed is possibly the most unfair of it all.
I can't help but judge when I see a pg woman puffing away or even people who smoke over newborns... Grrrrr

Well fertile week has been and gone and we managed it a lot so it's the waiting game now. Don't think it'll happen this month (typical when we've both been in same place at the same time) as I didn't seem to have any EWCM this time.
Although I suppose I could have just had a smaller amount and missed it?
I'm fingers, toes, legs and eyes crossing for us all though still!
We need a flurry of BFPs to coincide with the flurry of godawful weather we are being battered with.
I've taken to staying inside now, learning how to knit and working my way through Netflix.
Finished heroes and now started on johnathon creek.

bear when you say fifi did you mean cookie, if yes I am doing well, if no please ignore me

oh ffs I woman I have just met at a work event within minutes asked me how many months pregnant I am soo embarrassed I just mumbled 'I'm not pregnant but I was'. I hope she's suitability feeling shit because she certainly made me feel it. Must loose weight!!!

bear I'm great, though it wasn't me that gave the advice :) I've just left fertile week so back TWOTting.... For the last time... (Fingers crossed)

wagga
(hug) (hug) (hug)

hey zing I just got your pm, ive never had one before so I didn't know to check . it won't let ne reply on ny phone. Thanks you for your sweet kind message it has brightened a difficult day

Oh wagga, people are so flipping thoughtless. Hope she did feel suitably terrible. Dimwit. Hope you are ok.

The nicotine newborn is still in SCBU.

Had my day 21 blood test, it is actually day 24 but its more likely to be the right day than if I'd gone on day 21, despite the nurse partonising me about it and saying I should have gone on day 21. FFS! It's my body! I know it best! Got an appointment on Fri morning to discuss the results.

Bear - 15 kids!!!! Blimmin 'eck. That takes some doing, even with super efficient ovaries. It's like boobs though. Other people seem to have my share.

essie I won't condemn someone for a few fags or glasses of wine etc. I draw the line however at the women in the bed next to one of my friends on the labour ward. Obviously thinking the curtain was some super sound proof barrier, she proceeded to brag to her friends about all the drugs she'd been taking including that weekend. Now that's someone who doesn't deserve kids!

fifi

that is awful! ignorance mixed with selfishness. poor kid.

and apart from drugs, smoking is way worse than alcohol.

even a few fags will directly effect baby as there's no way to eliminate it, but a drink every now and then is not so bad, the liver breaks down most of the alcohol before any gets to baby, so at least there's an in-built "defence mechanism".

I hate smoking, and knowing the effects of it I can not understand why some people don't even try to cut down.

my SIL is a GP and when she was doing the OB-GYN bit at one lecture they were shown two placentas:

• healthy one - thick, size of a dinner plate, beautiful deep red colour as it should be
• a smoker's one - small and shriveled (half the size of the other!), irregular, and a greyish ash kind of colour.

she said it was shocking and every pg smoker should be shown the difference and asked the question " which one would you choose for yourself?"

poor "nicotine" baby.

I don't condemn the odd glass of wine or fizzy stuff during the labour but do not feel the same about smoking. Drugs though fifi jeez - why would they?!

Wagga - I hope they felt bloody awful too! When will people understand to never, ever say something unless they are absolutely sure to the extend that they have been told or the person is wearing a 'I AM PREGNANT' tshirt!

Minion - sounds like you covered the right time, I don't think lack of EWCM should mean you are out. Some ladies don't get any. Also, teach me to knit?? I can only do squares.

Hope the appointment Friday is positive essie. Is this your first 21 day blood test? Ignore the nurse, doctor told me to go when I thought would be about right for 7 days after ov. You did the right thing!

forgot to mention we did JS at the weeked (twice) then I started icing on Monday so fx.

MrZing's been late or away since (and will be the next 3 nights) and DD is cutting through her bottom molars and that meant very broken nights so no chance or energy for more romance.

I think my icing window will be closed by Saturday, but I'm kind of hopeful as the timing seems to have been right.

TWOT starting.

Haha if I could do something better than a scarf meself I'd pass the knowledge on. Managed to 'perfect'(and I use that term lightly) 4 types of stich.
Still looks like a pre school home ec project.

Well just as I thought I may have done some good I'm having period pains!
I'm not even due for 12 days, ffs.
This had better not continue till ERTD. It hurts.

I guess if I continue my square long enough I can make a scarf minion... anyway, any ideas what the pain is then??

Good luck for your JSing zing. Hopefully a quick TWOT!

Got DH SA booked. 11th September and we get our first appointment at the clinic. Something happening, yay!

Gawd know what it was, but iget s many of them I'll assume it was normal.
Yesterday was a bit shit, found out my dad has lung cancer.
Phoning him in a bit to find out more.
Crying buckets

Oh Minion, I'm so so sorry. How was he when you spoke to him? Is it treatable? Thinking of you. What totally shite news. You poor love. xxx

Hi essie,
Well he wasn't his usual lively self, said it was a big shock but something prepared him for the worst news. They can't operate on it as its to do with his glands as well so chemo it is. He's off on Monday to find out the dealio.
It's only a small lesion and the docs and Macmillan are positive. They think they've found it early on.
I've had a good whine but now I've got to be strong. This isn't about me. This is about my dad. And with any luck this is a wake up call he's got, to make sure he starts looking after himself more,
Ignoring warning signs is not going to happen again.
Just feel like a bad daughter that I can't be there. I'm going up in November armed with healthy cakes etc so I can be with him.
I should be there shouldn't I?
Husband told me last night after I'd finished work, I'd been expecting a text with the results and hadn't got one on landing, so when he picked me up I innocently asked if anyone had left a MSG on answer phone.
He quietly said, we'll talk about when we get home. I knew that moment.
So I made him tell me and sobbed all night.

Mother fucking bastard cancer causing sticks!

Oh how awful. You'd said earlier on though he wasn't well and you were worried cos he doesn't look after himself. It's positive they think they have caught it early though and that it's a small lesion. They wouldn't say that if it wasn't the case. You mustn't beat yourself up for not being there. You can only do what you can do and he will understand that. Planning a trip in Nov will give you both something to work towards and will give you both a bit of time to get your heads around it as well in the meantime. He'll have started the chemo by then so will really benefit from you visiting then. How far away is he? Poor DH having to give you that news too. You are right. Cancer is the pits, it really is. Thinking of you at such a tough time and here with a virtual hand hold if you need it. Be strong for your Dad, but don't give yourself a hard time for feeling sad either. xx

I had my day 21 (24 actually so in your face grumpy nurse) results and they were good. All my hormones on both tests were normal and show I iced. She did say my testosterone was a little low but that we'd look at that at a later stage if needed - not sure what that means? Waiting for a letter from hosp on how they want to proceed re my cervix, apparently the meeting to discuss it has been held (grim thought, a load of doctors discussing my bits), they are waiting for someone to write the letter up and they can't tell me over the phone. Snore. All seems so trivial though now after your news Minion. Really wish I could say something that could bring you some comfort. xxx

Not trivial at all essie, this is your journey so it's tres important.
I'm feeling a bit better, the cake I'm about to fill my pie hole with may have something to do with it.
Called in for tonight's flight, can't be doing with moaning bastards so husband is taking me out for dinner.
He also surprised me with a kitchenaid. He was always gonna get it with his pay rise but thought today would have been quite therapeutic for me.
Bless him, he's my rick today.
And thank you essie, your kind words and thoughts are really very much appreciated.
And I hope against hope that all tests lead to a baby for you.
Truly.
I do.
X

Thanks Minion.

Glad you have some cake for therapy. What a lovely DH you have, glad he is looking after you today, what a star. I hope you can enjoy your dinner out tonight despite your tough news.

Also, thought I should add, my good day 21 test results were on a cycle where I never got a strong line on the opks, and never had any EWCM. Go figure?!