Put on your capes and rub the Unicorn belly aka "my dear, please pour baby gravy on my egg!" - JUST SHAGGING PART 18!

[ZingWantsCake]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share and with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo;

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

The link to Part 17 is here

Happy shagging shaggers!

no grad thread link sorry, can someone else add this please?

hi everyone. been mia as went to Alton towers. sooo much fun! around implantation time this weekend so I've either screwed our chances or the g force could have pushed it into place !

sorry for those ertd got.

glad UV enjoyed Vegas min and well done on the win. champers seems like a very good way to spend it.

glad to hear bloods normal Essie and I think you can be forgiven for the contraband for this month to get the test dates right.

Hello Shaggers,

Sorry to all the Ertds going on.

Great news on the tests Essie.

Fingers crossed for you Zing.

I'm awash with pity today I'm afraid, shaggers. No less than 3 people I know gave birth this weekend. Plus another was parading her adorable munchy on FB. Got a first birthday party next weekend too. Ertd on the way bug ygst was no great surprise as we had to prevent weirdly becausd of ygd hsg. So I'm feeling quite down in the dumps. Let me in that pity pool now. I know things could be worse but still. . .

Hope you guys are all ok. Sorry I don't get to post much these days but work is crazy. I am following you all though even if I don't post.

Bug ysgt = but then (somehow!)

Thanks you guys,but you can untangle yourselves - AF arrived this morning.

why does the pain always surprise me? the first two days I'm useless - I need pain killers and my blood pressure drops and even walking makes me feel dizzy!
my back hurts a lot today as well.

I'm going to sleep this afternoon.

have a nice day viroids!

Think AF is just departing here and as we've had such a lull in BFP I'm going to confidently state (based on absolutely nothing) that this will be my month!

Me and DP have both got the week leading up to icing off and DS is still booked in for nursery.... 3 days of work this week, weekend away and then a week of just shagging! Bliss!

Sorry for all the ERTD showing up. I've laid out some fondent fancies by the pool/Jacuzzi to cheer you all up.

Bear - seriously, aren't there babies everywhere?! One of my besties is due this week too. That is pretty excited but I know at first cuddle I will be green again.

How you finding the preseed auntie?

Naively hoped I could ring the docs this morning and make an appointment today but there was no space. Waiting for doctor to call now to give me the blood test results. Hope she does call today! No idea what to expect but in the mean time - I think I am icing! Now need DH to come home from work and do his job!

sorry ertd got you zing. Weird stuff happening with me here too. Cycle day 28 so af is due tomorrow (last three cycles been 28 days clockwork). But usually I would have been spotting for a couple of days already by now, been feeling queazy last few days and now I've got ewcm!! Wtf!!

I'm pretty sure I ov'd cd15 as had of ewcm and a positive opk. Maybe I didn't ov and gearing up for it again? BFN this morning too...

pizza thanks.

if you think it's EWCM do it, JS today!
do it. you have nothing to lose!

Doctor just called, after 7pm. That's service. Bit of a mixed bag, not sure what to think at the moment. Oestrogen levels are fine but the progesterone levels that indicate ovulation were 'mediocre' and 'disappointing'. Need to continue being referred to a clinic but can't do that until DH has had his SA. Could indicate I'm not ovulating.

Haven't told him yet, not sure what to say!

Hello all,

Dulcet thats good dr to call that late, it must be those new hours that lots of surgeries are now doing. Its good to see that your getting answers, maybe not the ones you want but answers are good.

bear it feels like every month new babies appear around me, nothing to do with the fact I work in a nursery bah!!

pizzagot my fx for a bfp for you.

Sorry ertd took up residence this month grrrr!

Whoops forgot to say, first day back at work for me. There were three stranger babies was very wierd, but it wasc a good day!

posted too soon, af is here bang on time. .

sorry pizza

sorry about that pizza

Oh sorry pizza

Dulcet are you confident you had the blood test done on the right day? Is that the day 21 test which seems to me to be blimming hard to get on the right day?

Bear, sorry to hear about the local baby boom. Hope you are ok. Doesn't make any difference how happy you feel for the parents does it, you'll still feel crap for yourself, well I do anyway.

pizza sorry she got you. for you.

cookie glad you are doing ok and first day back was ok.

Nothing much to report here. CD9, so I start peeing on sticks tomorrow to try and pinpoint this ellusive day 21! Do I need to calculate it as 7 days post positive OPK, or should I add another day or two for insurance? Not been doing much shagging. Have felt crap and got earache.

thanks for the commiserations everyone. I'm ok and need to just try again this month I guess. I really need to just chill out about this ttc thing. I cried for over an hour last night because I wanted it to be our month so badly. Dp just doesn't get it in the same way, he just said 'there's no rush.' jumps in the pity pool I have ordered pizza for everyone

Awaiting SIL having her third baby in three years any day now. Will be a tough xmas with her newborn around, when I should be 8 and a half months pregnant and DPs first xmas without his dad.

Essie don't stop once you get one positive. I have had 2 days of + before and I ov the day after the last +. I know this from temping alongside the opks. I absolutely would not condone any of that now you understand. if you want to know for absolute definite when u ov this month to get Ur testing right you could temp too. hope you find the elusive o day!

pizza sorry u r feeling so down. it must be so hard measuring TTC against where you would be now. try and keep busy and take your mind off it. putting pressure in yourself won't help things.

cookie glad you are doing OK.

pizza it'll be our time soon!

Thinking of Jsing, proper, old school, no OPKs, no pregnancy tests from 7dpo or whatever ridiculousness I do now. This TTC marlarky is so stressful...

you are right there Fifi

I have so much other stress going on atm was signed off work for 2 weeks not long ago I've kind of accepted I'm not likely to get pg atm and whilst I haven't stopped trying the fact I'm not expecting or anticipating it has made it not happening easier to deal with.

I'm not really confident Essie. I have been thinking about it (and rethinking and rethinking!) and I already suspected I ovulate later - around day 18. Perhaps those three days wasn't enough time? I don't know.

Sorry to hear you are out pizza but hopes its over quickly to get to the next cycle. We will virtually sit with you and eat pizza until then.

To cheer us all up...

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/1875847-Do-you-dunk-your-penis

I'm off work sick today feel crap, unsure if it's af related or if I'm brewing a bug.

ah sorry link didn't work from my phone

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/1875847-Do-you-dunk-your-penis

Hope you feel better soon pizza, that thread is hilarious!

7dpo here, never normally have any symptoms of AF yet but I've got really bad side boob ache today. Not sure if I'm making it worse by prodding it all the time!

Haha. That thread has broke the website! It's been on metro and telegraph! Bet she wasn't expecting that! Can't be too many people with a penis beaker out there so hope it hasn't outted her in RL!!