Put on your capes and rub the Unicorn belly aka "my dear, please pour baby gravy on my egg!" - JUST SHAGGING PART 18!

[ZingWantsCake]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share and with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo;

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

The link to Part 17 is here

Happy shagging shaggers!

no grad thread link sorry, can someone else add this please?

Sorry to hear that cookie

Nothing to report here except sil is pregnant less than 6 months after her last dc... I told dp we may have to use her as surrogate... he wasn't impressed...

hello,
oh cookielove I'm so sorry about your news, I hope you are home now and tucked up being looked after.

Good luck to TWOTters (that sounds a bit...rude, non?). ERTD seems to be making a comeback. ARGH.

That said, getting my head straight about the JSing days next week and priming DH. He needs lots of early nights and to get his man-vitamins down him.

What shit news cookie

Hey viroids, I've been AWOL for a while, just catching up, hope you're all well
Big congrats Bludger, hope your BFP encourages many more! Maybe see you over at the Grads Fred?
Gutted to hear your news Cookie glad to hear you're jumping straight back on the horse, fx for a speedy BFP for you xx

Evening viroids. Hope everyone is well. cookie that's awful x.

DH is home tomorrow evening, hopefully AF will have sodded off by then and we can get on with the task in hand.

Might have to use OPKs this month as I think the naproxen I've been on for 2 years has screwed up my icing. We'll still dtd as often as possible, but I just want to make sure I am icing.

Civic makes her way back to the pity jacuzzi

Cookie- I'm so sorry to hear that. look after yourself. X

Red- glad you've got some answers and a plan. Well done on being so positive too.

Sorry I've not posted for a while but work is mad and I'm shattered. Also sorry for these quick random snippets but I now can't scroll back.

Just to echo Red - yes, keep the swimmers at body temperature. Between the boobs is good. Also, OH can take it as a medical appointment. Mine did.

For 21 day bloods question- I was told by my consultant's secretary that it didn't matter even though my cycles vary between 28 and 33 days. They said to do day 21 anyway. If my results come back in Nov saying I haven't ov'd I'm going to demand another test, but to be fair the woman sounded like she'd been asked a gazillion times.

Hi to everyone else. No shaggies for me this month as got to wait til after Ertd to try again and can't be bothered to buy or use condoms. Oh well. We're too tired anyway! having a proper rest this month!

I'm so sorry to hear that cookie I hope you are ok and Glad to hear you are getting back to normal soon.

I am standing here shaking in my bathroom. Have had spotting/ v. Light blood flow for 11 days now and stomach camps. Also felt sick and boobs have been sore. Took a test just now and got a very light BFP. I am still spotting.
Think I must be miscarrying. waiting to phone the doctors at 8am. I don't know what to think....

Sorry that post was a lot of rubbish! Just so confused! I thought the light blood flow was my AF so thought I was out this month. Now I don't know what to think!

quark
Don't they say that you may get light spotting and cramps when pg at time that you're due to come on? Something like a late implantation and the body is just going through the motions to get rid of the old blood? I'm certain I've read that. I'm hoping hoping that's what's happening.
I'll say a tentative congratulations right now, and I'll catch up tonight xxxx

Got another spot.... Gggrreeeaaaattt. I literally am just one big walking spot right now. Seriously, where there was a nose, a spot. A mouth, 10 spots...you get the spotty picture.
This means, apparently the male hormone after icing (progesterone) is working though, so that's a good thing I suppose.

I'm off to the ivory towers (hq) today so sit in on a meeting from people who don't work in the cabin giving ridic ideas about stuff they haven't a scooby about... Should be interesting, and a smidge absurd.

I'm in a shit mood.
I think my icing is over and we didn't manage to DTD at the right time.

and the one time we were going to MrZing got overexcited and let's just say it was a wasted opportunity.

DS1 is singing at a concert tonight which will be lovely.
We'll be back very late but maybe MrZing and I won't be too tired to JS.
we might as well, I don't even care.
oh I feel so miserable

Hi everyone,
DH was hogging the ipad last night and I couldnt face trying to post on my shite phone. Forgot what I was going to say now though as well as work was so bats yesterday I felt steamrollered when I got home.

Quark how are you doing this morning? I've heard of people having what seems like ERTD and lots of spotting in early pg too, my Mum being one of them. Hope you are ok.

Who was it asking about semen (I just hate that word!) samples, yes, deffo keep it warm, thats what GP told me on Monday, keep warm and get it to them within 1 hour. My DH is not amused and says we are 'not at that stage yet', basically he's crapping himself at prospect of having to jizz in a cup and be told his swimmers are feeble. I've decided to leave that battle for now, and get my bloods and scan etc done and see where we are then. He's happy to js whenever I want, and is convinced it will either happen, or the reason it isn't happening is cos of me (cheers love!), and once they sort me out, bingo. He doesn't realise how shite that makes me feel.

Anyway, ERTD due any min now so just waiting for that then can book in my first blood test at least. Rather bored of the whole ttc thing really, it's worked out to be far more stress than I thought it would be!

cookie, sending you lot of love. Thanks for reminding me I need a new cape too. I think its nearly time to get the crotchless knitted onsies back out isn't it bear?

Oh quark, I know you fear the worst but it really might not be that. Like minion said, I don't think light bleeding is uncommon in early pregnancy. Hopefully the doctor can put your mind at rest.

DTD before work is not advisable. Going to spend the day a bit uncomfortable in the knicker region and paranoid!

Bear - do you mean your DH was able to take it to a normal doctors appointment? That could be an option but doctor never said that to us.

Sorry for the double post but didn't see essie's when I posted. The SA stuff is from me and that is so similar to the conversations we are having at home. We were talking about it all yesterday and I said to DH 'do you still think it will just happen for us?' and he does. He said the same as you did up there 'we're not at that stage yet'. I don't know when he thinks we reach the stage of needing help but for him this is too soon. Even though we are just starting cycle 14 (I think). It's a tough one to manage... credit to him though, he did come to the doctors and he is willing to use the pot!

Just looked in my calendar and I am either cd 30 or 34 I looked cos I couldn't remember when my period is due but it seems I marked it twice last month! Am tempted to test as I feel really tired and lethargic and no sign of ertd yet but I'm also scared too...

What I really would like to do is go to bed :(

Thanks everyone, I know I am bad thinking the worst but my head just assumes bleeding and pregnancy is not a good combo. Got a docs appointment later this aft and I am at work just now. Can't get it out of my head though.

I have funny images of you all with cups of your DP's baby gravy in your bras!

AuntieMaggie how long are your cycles due usually? are you late? poas poas poas

My DH just needs time to think about it I hope, he's a more more considered person than I am and needs time to get his head around things. At least I'm hoping thats the case in this situation as it usually is with him! I've got enough to be dealing with while he comes to terms with his role in this! Dultce glad your DH is happy to deposit his sample in a cup without any fuss.

Zing how are you feeling now?

Quark fingers and toes xd for your dr appointment and hoping it's good news. I would panic too if in your shoes though, I think thats quite a normal reaction. Guess they will send you for a scan?

Maggie think you maybe should poas?!

I am cd31 and no ERTD. Last cycle was 28 days. I am waiting for ERTD so I can crack on with blood tests but just occured to me maybe I should poas too? I did do one Weds last week, before my colp, which was BFN, and so I just wrote it off. Perhaps I'll wait til weekend? My phone app says ERTD due tomorrow but it has no idea what its talking about as it just works out the mean average and my body has its own wacky way of working out my cycle length! Hmmm.

omg I actually got some ewcm!! I can't believe it. been taking evening primrose and starflower oil this month so that seems to have helped I have had terrible bwlky cramps all day do, anyone gets that with icing? Not on one side more like accross my belly.
dtd last night, when should we do it again? DP was reluctant last njght so my chances tonight are slim.

quark I hope everything is ok, let us know when you've seen the doc and what they say

Yay for your EWCM Pizza! If you can't jump on your Dh tonight try again tomorrow!

essie when might you poas?

Ok Doctor couldn't really tell me one way or another so she has referred me to the hospital for a scan first thing tomorrow. She didn't rule out miscarriage. It's not really sinking in, it feels like it's happening to someone else.

how far along do you think you might be quarks? I think if its less than 4/5 weeks they might not see anything on the scan. I really hope everything is ok. Thinking about you. Try to relax tonight.

Thanks pizza I could be 6 weeks. They warned me I might not see anything. Will just have to wait and see.

Wow Quark, that is both exciting and scary! I had an early scan at 6 + 3 because I was having spotting, and they could see a lil blob with a heartbeat, so hope you get the same reassurance! Fx and tx for you

fx for you quark. just think of those ppl who don't realise they are pg until they are 4minths gone because they didn't miss a period. it happens so there us hope. sending positive vibes and baby dust your way for tomorrow's scan.

yay for the ewcm pizza just bd as soon as you can. if you did it last night you are in with a chance. but just keep dtd. ewcm doesn't mean you are about to ov necessarily. I get if from end of AF right up to icing except this month it seems

my ewcm seems to have reappeared last couple of days and on cd19 so hoping icing is imminent. have told dh to prepare for lots of jsing!

loving the mental picture if jizz cups in bras!

min how was Ur meeting?

hope you are OK over in the pity pool civic

Maggie, Essie POAS for crying out loud! please, for me, I'm in withdrawal!

Good you will get some answers quark, hope you get to see the quarkllet on board.

Essie - why oh why are you not POAS?! I say he's happy to use it, he won't put himself out to do it because he doesn't think we need to. Not easy with open hours of 11.30-3.30. That is too much effort for him.

Yay for EWCM pizza! Get on it!

Are we cheer leading for EWCM now? Brilliant, go egg white, go egg white!
Meeting was fine, told us about some things that they told us about last time, we said no to loads of things we said no to last time... Still, pretty well paid for it and it gets me out of a day flying.

Husband has just text to say we are now going out to the casino on Saturday to celebrate me getting to 31. Lovely.

5 dpo here. Stinging nips and familiar feeling of pressure in ab and slight back out, going by the previous months, I'm out.

quark I had an early scan at 6 weeks due to left side pain and the worry of an ectopic pregnancy. They couldn't see anything at all, at 8 weeks there was DS! So all isn't lost if you don't see what you hope