Put on your capes and rub the Unicorn belly aka "my dear, please pour baby gravy on my egg!" - JUST SHAGGING PART 18!

[ZingWantsCake]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share and with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo;

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

The link to Part 17 is here

Happy shagging shaggers!

no grad thread link sorry, can someone else add this please?

massively overdue a bfp Fifi

Essie echoing everyone else, an op may be scary but at least its a positive step forward. hope your afternoon meeting went OK and you had time to sort the make up out!

Positive that you're getting some answers essie. Cervix' are strange things aren't they? I'm not sure if I can find mine (tmi). Not sure what bit is what...

I'm getting totally fed up with this ttc business. I was supposed to be squeezing out a baby in January (mc) but now that isn't going to happen it's left us with a huge childcare problem for ds starting preschool. DP flexible working request has been turned down and I won't be on mat leave like we expected. I'm sure we'll sort something out. But this along with my SIL having her third baby in a few weeks plus three friends due around my should-have-been due date, it's all just getting a bit much. Pizzaqueen jumps into the pity jacuzzi.

Hi all, sorry we're all feeling a bit down about it all...at least we can all empathise instead of talking to yet another friend who suggests "relaxing" or "not thinking about it" over the heads of how ever many children...Gosh, I do sound bitter! pizzaqueen the other people due around the due date thing is a shocker, it's hard stuff. xx

Onwards and upwards! I've been a bit quiet, trying to avoid symptom spotting and failing but I've been here before and been disappointed. I can test from today - CD28 - and my cycles are usually 28-31 but I think I'll go for Sunday if no ERTD as I don't want to be sad before a day's work. Work makes me sad enough!

dulcet I did an early one this morning, bfn, but I'm only 8DPO - proper test shouldn't really be until next Monday.

Still no sign of ERTD. Another BFN this morning. I'm usually bang on time. Don't want to get my hopes up, but at the same time I can't help myself.

Well OPK gave me a positive when I got home from work. Made tea, DP put DS to bed, I preseeded (unsure if I produce EWCM), dtd, now on the sofa with legs in the air.

DP is happy. Food, a cheeky bit of oral for him, sex and football. I may even bust out some chocolate, (DP is a chocoholic). All because i read that men produce alot more and healthier sperm the more turned on they are......

lol fifi sounds like a good evening. So how does preseed work? Been thinking about it but dp doesn't like the idea of charts/opks etc, anything except shagging! He thinks I could get pregnant any moment and just doesnt understand about oving etc. I don't really get any ewcm.

pizza it's supposed to recreate EWCM which is supposed to be a similar consistency to spunk. The idea is as its all the same the sperm have an easier time doing what's needed

Yep, pizza, it's really just like a special lube that helps the swimmers survive a bit longer.

I'm home today and tomorrow, things aren't too great at the moment but I'm sure it'll work itself out in the end. POAS this morning (WHY? I need to stop myself) and the test was a dud, that'll teach me not to test early....

Im am getting by without testing by having none in the house. Every time I have been to the shop I have thought about buying some but managed to resist. Just a few more days until I know for sure anyway.

I think there is something in the preseed that is designed to make the best environment for the swimmers, it's not just normal lube.

Why you home aloho? Do you mean you are off work? Home is better than work anyway! I miss my bed already and only been out of it a couple of hours.

Thanks everyone. Feeling a bit muddled about it all really, but DH has private medical insurance with work so I'm going to see if I can at least see someone for another opinion on that, currently though I am not even a candidate for IUI or IVF with cervix in its current state so definitely need to get it sorted one way or another. In the meantime though I intend to keep jsing and do some handstands as it can't hurt can it?! I told my Mum last night too. She was upset, but then remembered to get a grip cos it's me who ought to be upset! She did in a slightly panic striken tone say 'so you will need to get it sorted before you start thinking about having children'! If only she knew.

Company conference went ok. Had lots of feedback, some great, some good, some shite. You can't please everyone!

Aloho, hope you are ok?

Fx to everyone poas in next few days. I know there is a bfp amongst us!

x

essie I missed your update, so sorry! Well, it's not great news but it sounds like having the procedure might up your chances by quite a bit so may it will be a good thing in the end. Do you know how quickly you'll be able to see the gynae?

Things like that make me miss the German health system, where if you think you need a specialist you just phone up and make an appointment with them. All smear tests are done by gynos back home - my GP had gyno training AND an ultrasound machine, so whenever I had dodgy periods as a teen he'd do s quick scan of my ovaries. Soo handy!

I'm fine, we just will have to find somewhere else to live before Christmas and it's a bit sudden.

Oh no, so sorry to hear that, moving house is crappy enough without having it sprung on you. ((((hugs))))

German health system sounds amazing! I had terrible periods when I was a teen and have never had a scan to date!

Not sure how quickly I'll be able to see someone but going to phone up insurance people today and see what they say. They wouldn't help before because they said it was routine cervical screening, even though it had gone beyond that, but now it's being referred away from that dept back to gynae I'm hoping they will help me.

Oh boo, AF's arrived, ah well, am enjoying the trying :)

Sorry to hear that zebras, glad the jsing is keeping you entertained though!

Reckon I can whine here... AF came back 12 months after DS born... A few very light months of regular visits. thought, woo hoo, at least period pain of doom has gone! This is month 3 of ttc, I've had sickness and diarrhoea all week and didn't take anything 'just in case'. And AF came back again, more painful than ever, this morning. Thanks. Sickness, diarrhoea, period pain, agh.

Wine, drugs and chocolate at the ready for tonight.

Hi, a name-changed aloho here.

jenijena It is frustrating, isn't it, esp. if it all comes to nowt. Had massive headache all day and the only thing we have in the house is neurofen, didn't dare take it just in case!

evening, I'm out for this month too, AF here and making me very uncomfortable. Had a little bawl on DH this evening but going out tomorrow and will enjoy some wine for the first time in a while. It's a rollercoaster ride for sure so just went for a little late night shop at the supermarket & treated myself to a new book. Will curl up and read it in a bit.

Good luck everyone who's still waiting. xx

Ugh, sorry for those who are out for the month. The fred has been kind of melancholy lately. I feel like utter shite today. Nauseous all day, especially this a.m. ERTD due tomorrow-ish. Normally I'd be all, "Ooh! Maybe it's a sign!" but I am sure it's just the stupid metformin.

Evening shagtastics.
Anyone up? I'm suffering with jetlag, just as well as I started a Netflix account today, Tis seeing me through nicely.
Icing here, but no husband. He's away on business, he'll be back around 5 tomoz but should be nice and late then.
Looks like I'll be able to o to Vegas this month then (come on law of sod)....

DP is working all day and evening so last gasp dtd with intent is out the window.

I've used the special lube, I've done the ahem deeper positions, I've had my legs in the air, he's had his sperm healthy foods, I haven't been smoking, bring on the BFP!

Rant over. Quietly slides onto TWOT bench and twiddles thumbs....

Good work, got everything xed for you fifi. I think the reason we are all so down is because there has been no good news on our fred for a while. We are well overdue a BFP which means there will be a flurry like buses surely?!

Anyone doing anything nice at the weekend? My DH is away at a cricket do and I am going on a sponsored ride with my four legged boy which should blow away the cobwebs a bit and take my mind off all the ttc malarkey.

Jena, welcome, hope you are feeling better and you were well enough to enjoy your goodies!

Sorry to hear about ERTD Juniper. and for you and for Red too, sorry you are feeling so shite. It's not over til the witch is here though, so keeping things tightly xed for you too.

Minion when are you due to go to Vegas? My bro just went, said it was mental.

aloho, interesting new name. Hope your head is feeling better.

The pity pool is open and warmed up to a toasty 35.5C if anyone fancies a dip.

Morning viroids

sorry for all the bad news on afs, cervix's, houses and men who don't get woman's bits!

I'm going to try and be positive and lighten the mood.

so far this month I'm doing pretty well on the jsing front. not temped, no opks yet and lots of sex on no kind of rota. in fact we dtd twice yesterday. and I didn't bother with that whole legs in the air makarky that hasn't worked the last 8 months. just good old fashioned shagging. Love it!

minion we went to Vegas for the first stint of our honeymoon. there is nowhere like it. its both mental and amazing!

Morning ladies! Feeling quite good today, but grateful to be tucked up with a blanket and Nigella on the telly and a dog to warm my side. Work tomorrow!

I'm not very hopeful for this month, it feels like AF is on the way, but we'll see. About to compose the notice letter to the landlord and write to a couple of storage companies.

I miss JSing, we haven't really had the mindset for it since I OVed, too many other issues.

Double post, sorry - could you have a look at the photo in my gallery? Is that a positive or an evaporation line? I can't tell!!!!