Put on your capes and rub the Unicorn belly aka "my dear, please pour baby gravy on my egg!" - JUST SHAGGING PART 18!

[ZingWantsCake]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share and with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo;

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

The link to Part 17 is here

Happy shagging shaggers!

no grad thread link sorry, can someone else add this please?

OH is a dick sometimes, I'm sure if we had an "oops" he would be over the moon, OH doesn't have a preference on gender; and to be honest I don't think month you were born in has anything to do with intelligence that's comes from home and nurturing

On the topic of pausing ttc due to weddings etc. I'm with bear and I don't think I'd stop either. My best friend was meant to be my bmaid and got upduff and had her baby 4 days before my wedding, she still made it to the wedding too! Mil and Fil have just booked us all a family hol next July so all being well I'll be upduff in the next few weeks which will coincide nicely.

I've got my colposcopy on Weds am, the one which has been put off about 20 times this year because of various balls ups. Absolutely terrified about it and trying to put on a brave face is exhausting isn't it.

Whats everyone up to this week? Anything exciting?

Maggie, my dh and I seem to have gotten into a pattern when he is up for it when I'm not and vice versa. V annoying, though this cycle we have done better. He also seems to manage to pick up sporting injuries, or be away with work whenever I am icing too. None of which is very helpful! He also claims to have absolutely no idea when I am icing and reckons there is no subliminal message thing going on.

just hit up Dr goofle to find out what a colposcopy is Essie I would also be terrified. but try and not think about it. I always get myself worked up about my smears and when I get there its like that wasn't worth all the fuss! NHS site says its painless. they also say you could take a paracetamol before but not to take aspirin or ibuprofen...just wanted to share in case u didn't know that.

I'm having my water leak fixed today

Thanks Lil, this'll be my 4th colposcopy. I ought to get a badge to sew onto something for this one surely?! I had an abnormal smear 2 years ago and had two rounds of treatment to remove bad cells. This is my follow up to check it worked. Hence why I am petrified cos I'm scared it'll be back. Colp actually doesn't hurt. It's pretty nasty, the injections in the foof are the worst bit but none of it was as bad as I thought even when they burn away the cervix (sorry tmi for anyone eating their shreddies).

Good luck with your water leak! My Mum had a monstor one at the weekend which came through the ceiling through the light fittings. High drama.

Hello Ladies,

Thought I would ask on here about frequency of DTD - seemed the best thread to ask on. I am cycle 3 ttc#2 and don't (yet, at least) want to temp/chart or use OPK's.

I have an irregular cycle (27-34 days) and not totally sure when I ovulate. DH & I have a plan of every 2nd day until the days when the calendar says I 'should' be ovulating for all the various cycle lengths then DTD every day.

I've read a million differing views on whether it's better to DTD every day or every 2nd day. Now I am worrying we'll be doing it too much!

What are the 'Only Shagging' views on this - is every day for 3/4 days bad ?

morning all. just been to gp about my odd periods

I need to see her again so she can take swabs (double app).
and she is booking me in for an abdominal scan to check there are no cysts or anything else.

hope you are all ok, will read fred back later - gotta go, DD got herself stuck in the dishwasher rack.

Hi fruit, welcome!

I'm not really the best person to advise as there are much more knowledgable viroids about who I am sure will be along soon to help. I just wanted to say hi though.

Well done for going to gp zing, hope you get referral soon. Is it wrong to lol at your DD stuck in the dishwasher rack?!! Hope she is ok!

Thanks Essie :) Just admitting to the other ttc#2 people (on the other thread) that I think the obsession is getting to me already.. hence the probably insane questioning here. Sorry in advance.

Sorry Zing, I also might have laughed at your poor DD being in the dishwasher rack ..hope she's ok!

Essie - just reading about the colposcopy. Blimey. You are brave!

Afternoon all!

Essie good luck for your colposcopy, hope your results come back all ok.

Zing hope you have manage to rescue your DD !

Welcome Fruit I would personally go for EOD but for no scientific reason. I too have varying cycle lengths but they are mainly 34 days. I start EOD on CD10 and keep going for a couple days after my app says I have ovulated. Don't listen to me though I have done that for the last two months and the ERTD from hell is taking over my body right now!

Don't know if any of you saw my thread on whether to give up ttc this cycle so I didn't have a due date a week before SIL's wedding. Well me and DH have changed our minds and we hare just going to carry on as before. come on law of sod do your worst!

oh yes, you should absolutely laugh at that.
I did!

My bro lives on a ski resort in Canada and we skyped last night, he wants me and DH to book to go out and ski with him early next year. I said to DH I didn't want to as couldn't justify cost (not to mention I'm a crap skier and they are both really good!), but suggested he went without me, but perhaps I should book it and hope it's another thing to tempt sod and his law? It could get expensive this sod tempting!

Colposcopy really isn't that bad, incase anyone on here ever needs it, though I hope that is never the case. The bit that terrifies me is what they will find. It's silly really, I've had all the treatment and the bad bits removed, but actually I'm more terrified now than I was when they first found the abnormal cells.

As far as frequency of DTD goes though, I agree with Quark and tend to try and do EOD at least from day 10 til a good few days after I think I've ovved. My cycle ranges from 26-33 days so I try to cover all bases. However I am on cycle 11 and it hasn't worked yet, but I'm holding out til cycle 13 before I start getting scientific and let DH do a frigging spreadsheet.

Essie - I am intrigued to know what would go on the spreadsheet!!

So I had the Internet man round today. Gave me a very helpful slot of 1-6pm making me stranded in my house. He did turn up early which I was grateful for but he cut off the Internet just as I was posting earlier. Worse still... It's not broken and I am TV and Internetless. It's so quiet!

I dread to think, but he is a ssheet geek, you should have seen the one for our wedding and our house purchase! Gah!

Scary how hard it is to live without he internet isn't it!

Well after an easy month last month my ovulation symptoms are back in full force... it hurts to walk and my stomach has swollen immensely in the past couple of hours so I look pregnant. I swear if anyone at work asks if I am...

I'm going to go home and insist dp gives it to me (no matter how much it hurts)!

Essie I keep trying to keep track oy cycle but I'm failing miserably so may have to try a ss!

I do love a spreadsheet, I am the as queen at work, but I have not done a ttc one. Thinks its because I have my app to track it though!

Happy JSing maggie

Hooyas self, googling maternity wedding guest outfits is just mic necessary!

Ss queen not as Queen! Oops!

I use ss for everything at work too quark and minitab... Now I'm wondering if I should control chart my attempts at conception... weirdo

ahh the ss thing has me laughing. bit of a joke about some types of ppl dh encounters in his job who control everything by ss but have no flexibility to them, not that any of you are like that, it just reminded me of how annoyed he gets!

well dh did his fertility test today. was absolutely hilarious watching him try to jizz into a funnel but his swimmers passed, so there are plenty of them and they can swim. let's hope they aren't all useless morphology wise. going to do the second test after icing just to be sure.

forgot who was going to stop TTC for a wedding but changed there mind, was it quark? on phone so can't scroll back. anyway whoever it was good to hear you changed your mind, bring it on sod!

I've been reading up on the pineapple. apparently you eat a fifth of a pineapple/core on 1dpo-5dpo...very specific and yet changes to your diet don't impact your fertility for 3months? go figure! any pearls of wisdom there prof zing?

hope you got your using in Maggie

using? ha! obv meant js ing!

lil

prof Zing is shaking his head, never heard of this...

Good on you for not giving up TTC as well quark. I know it's not always that straight forward but you can't give up on your life because of other peoples. I got married last month with two pregnant bridesmaids and I wasn't annoyed in the slightest. Just because I am getting married doesn't mean their plans just stop. One was only two weeks off. Then she had the baby on a Tuesday and went to a wedding on the Sunday with little one in tow. Whether heavily pregnant or with new born child you can make it work.

4 days to go... must not symptom spot!!

Well I'm afraid my DH is one of those ssheet nerds, but he has to analyse hundreds of thousands of figures every day. I don't know how he does it I'd go mad, but then he is way more patient with IT equipment than I am!

Had my awful recurring dream last night that DH had turned into my father. Quite hilarious really once I've woken up properly and recovered from the trauma because they are exact opposites, but a shrink would have a field day with that one!

I've got to poas tomorrow morning, due to it being my colp appointment. Not sure where I am though, could be anything from 5-11dpo. Not poas in ages as ERTD has arrived before I've got that far last couple of times. Brown spotting has stopped so wondering if it was something to do with ovving this cycle? Who knows. Thanks for all the colposcopy well wishes though. I will report back!