The Elderberry Pavlovas- All aboard the Berrycopter. Thread 14

[funkymonk]

The smallprint - Berries have a strict entrance criteria (TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 3+months, NO instadiffers, must have a special pot) and def no mention of baby dust or baby dancing UGH !!! Ooh we are strict...please note your house may be at risk if you do not keep up repayments lol

tut tut no naked flames in the Berry HQ, the pouffe of possibility is highly flamable

Haven't seen pip for a while, could do with her advice. tally popped in a few days ago, she is ok but still very sick

I didn't sleep well, my mind was racing! I feel terribly upset that another Christmas and birthday will go by without being pg. I also feel angry at my own body, the doctor said I'm very healthy, but I'm not am I, my body is fecked up and can't make a baby
Work is going to a struggle, my colleagues already think I am some sort of moody nutter as once a month I get very depressed and grumpy!

Oh bunny I really feel for you as I think the landmark dates of Xmas and birthdays and wedding anniversaries are v hard x
Any update from rp or sid this morning?

bunny It is weird, isn't it? I am quite sporty and always thought of myself as fit and healthy. Always had v normal periods with no dramatic cramps or flooding and thought I was okay in that department. And then you start ttc.....

merk no AF overnight. So I am CD28! I haven't had a 28-day cycle for literally a couple of years. I am kind of convinced AF will get me today but this does mean I'm officially 11DPO, which is not that far off normal.

RP have you not pimped?

Really rp have you no consideration? Our merk gets awfully agitated when people don't pimp daily before AF .

bunny I know what you mean about dates and bodies not working. Even DP got worked up about the body thing. He pointed out that we are both fit and healthy, we both eat a healthy diet and exercise regularly. His brother and SiL are both very overweight, they eat lots of all the wrong foods and neither does any exercise at all. His brother would get a taxi rather than walk half a mile. They have two children we have none. How is that fair?

When I found out I was pg I had already pictured my bump at Christmas, on our wedding day and our little 2 month old baby on my next birthday. Now I've got to work out how to get those images out of my head .

I have a practical question for you berries:
If I can get my head round dtd again I'd like to start ttc again immediately (can't help thinking about the increased chances of pg after a mc) but the sensible side of me knows it's not going to happen without the clomid. If I assume my cycles are going to resume as they were before (very light, mostly spotting, with only one day of proper flow) then it's going to remain difficult for me to identify cd2 to start the clomid. I proved this last time as I decided to take it only every other month due to possibly mistaking implantation bleeding for AF spotting (which I did, but thankfully hadn't taken the clomid just in case).
So if we ttc before I get AF I won't know if it is AF and can't take the clomid on cd2 just in case. Given it's the clomid that's more likely to get us pg I could just wait until AF. But that could be true for every cycle - if there's a tiny chance I could conceive naturally then it's a risk taking the clomid on any cycle given I can't tell the difference between AF and spotting. And I don't want to wait for my next 'normal' cycle even though there's only a tiny weeny chance of upduffment before then.

I have noticed through intensive googling that in america they take the clomid later, cd5 to 9 I think? This would be the safer option for me I think as with a short luteal phase I can't rely on a bfn definitely meaning hopes are over for that cycle when spotting arrives.

That was a proper waffle. You can probably tell I'm a little confused about what would be best to do.....

bunny fantastic news on the quick ivf referral. At least things are moving for you now.

sid so sorry to read of all your stresses. That's the last thing you need on top of all the ttc worries. Hope you manage to get some kind of resolution soon that you're happ with.

funky yep still absolutely no symptoms (although if I squeeze my boobs occasionally they hurt haha)

barking well it's bound to be that and the iui, Accupuncture, not drinking, eating healthily, bla bla bla

barking that's a hell of a dilemma. Off to google about taking clomid later for you I'm not bored at work, oh no not at all

Ps this thread is crashing my phone app this morning. All the other threads work fine

Barking, on my very important research mission I found this where the fetal risk piece seems to suggest the risk of taking it during early pregnancy is low to none assuming you are not a rat.
Still googling

Hi all,

bunny this is fantastic news. Action!! yorkie maybe you should be popping round to bunny's clinic?!

sid I'm sorry its such a tough time. Am rather that your DH is surprised at how you feel though. By the sounds of it is bloody obvious that all this is going to make you feel unsupported and unprioritised.

rp good news on the lp - you won't get away with not pimping while merk's on your case.

barking why not try naturally for the first cycle and then go back onto your clomid plan if you do get af and not a bfp? You do have a better chance of conceiving after mc so you could remove the worry this time by doing it like that?

Hey all,
Bunny have just read your FC rundown and am SO pleased for you that your consultant was so helpful! I know it's a drag to look ahead to yet another Christmas/birthday season without a baby, but the truth is, you're closer to your baby now than you've ever been, and very soon you'll have a lifetime of Christmases & birthdays to share with your child(ren) so one more just with your DH will be ok

DH and I have spoken at length and all I can do is wait for him to handle this ridonculous problem. It's maddening but I've made my feelings v clear. He knew this was all getting on top of me, but not to the point that I was willing to put TTC on hold indefinitely til it cleared up - I actually didn't realize I felt that strongly about it myself until just a few days ago. I just want our life to be our life. I need to go into clomid/IVF knowing that if it fails (or takes a while to succeed), that stress wasn't the reason why. I think he's hoped that we would get pg and that would provide the perfect excuse of why things had to change, but frankly I don't want our baby being used that way. He is a classic avoider and has had a shitstorm of stress in all major areas of his life this year, but enough's enough really.

Still no AF, still feel seasick and still a BFN with FMU. Boodle I haven't started clomid yet; this is my last cycle of trying naturally and it looks like cycle 15 will go down as yet another flop. Feeling very pessimistic about everything lately and wondering what life would even feel like without this hanging over me.

Thanks Merk!

I realise the risk could be low, but given recent history I do not wish to risk taking it if pg at all. This is one of the google results that convinced me of this:
Effects on Pregnancy: While there are no formal clinical studies on the effect of Clomid on pregnancy, there are reports of fetotoxicity in animal studies. Furthermore, reports have been taken after approval of the drug describing neonatal and fetal complications and side effects. Clomid is in the pregnancy category X because of the increased risk of fetal abnormalities and possibly life-threatening birth defects.

thunder my problem is that I will never know for sure with the way I bleed whether it's AF or just spotting and still a potential bfp, and I need to know by CD2 to take the clomid. When I got my bfp I'd started spotting 6 days earlier, I wouldn't have got a bfp on the day I would have taken the clomid but I was pg.

The clomid might extend my LP to 14 days (as it did for Boodle?), so I would safely know by then a bfn was definitely a bfn. So I might be worrying for nothing if my cycle changes. However, this won't help me for the first cycle if I have my usual short LP and then light spotting. I just won't know if I can safely take the tablets, which is why delaying them to CD5 could be a great way forward if that wouldn't be a stupid thing to do....

sid x-post. I really hope you can get all that silly scheduling sorted very very soon. I think you are totally right to insist it needs sorting now.
Waiting until there is the excuse of a baby is a) implying it really isn't a problem right now which is ridiculous because anyone can see it's unworkable for all parties but her and b) risks her turning round to the kids and telling them it's only the baby that matters to you and DH again, clearly not the case but she doesn't sound like a reasonable woman

Barking forgot to post about DTD & clomid. I would feel the same in your shoes, that although I may not feel quite ready to DTD again, that the fertility bump post-mc would make me want to glean at least one small silver lining from a very painful situation. it isn't callous to acknowledge the practical side of it; it's just that you're clinging to life and trying to find some normalcy again. I would imagine that DTD will be emotional and perhaps physically uncomfortable but it might be something that you & your DP need as a form of consolation. You will find the right time to get that part of your life back, and you may find that it's just the right sort of comfort you didn't realize you & your DP needed.

As for when to start the Clomid, is it possible for you to call your doctor for advice? Maybe they have other patients who have very light periods where a clomid start date would be hard to define?

Thank sid. I asked the consultant when he prescribed the clomid, I told him I had extremely light periods and wasn't sure what to count as CD1. He said any bleeding at all. I talked about my short LP and he told me this wasn't a problem as it didn't happen, and bothering with bbt/opks etc was a waste of time .
This is why I will not bother asking him.

However, I do have a friend who just qualified as a GP. I might ask her if she could find out for me what the best thing would be to do as I'm seeing her tomorrow.

barking I think that sounds like a great idea. So bloody annoying when these consultants don't actually LISTEN to real concerns....

sid what you're reeling is not only totally understandable, it's also bloody obvious. Of course you need this sorted in order to lead a happy balanced life- regardless of TTC. I can only imagine how frustrating it must be for you that your views are not being respected in this, whilst at the same time you're being actively trampled on. I appreciate this is so complicated but from an outside view it's difficult not to get on your behalf!

bunny that is great news and so good to hear that there are consultants out there who are clear and treat people TTC as partners in a process not subjects being tested!

Rp he is an absolute f*ckwit my GP. Previous classics include - on telling him I was depressed - have you tried to top yourself? Unfortunately where I live all the local practices have an agreement that if you are registered somewhere, you can't move. Am worried about flagging to practice manager in case it makes things tricky just when I need them.

funky I was caught watching Midwives by my DH - he has banned it because it isn't helping - he's right but I can't resist.

Blood taken, waiting for results - they are checking hormone levels for PCOS or early menopause which are their current guesses.

Hope other berries are having better days!

MrsWalker that is right up there with the doctor who said she thought I had mental health issues because DH and I don't have 'enough' penetrative sex. She wanted to refer me for counselling. Holy fuck....

Anyhow, AF still not here and I am two days 'late'. merk I did pee on a stick on Monday (day I would normally get my period) and had a BFN.

I was thinking I might POAS again tonight but then my colleague who has DC said, don't do it in the evening. It's more likely to be picked up in the morning. Is that right?

I also had a rather freaky occurrence this morning. The cleaner at work walked straight up to me and said 'You are impregnate?' (English not her first language.

Me: Er, sorry?

Her: Sorry, I mean, you are pregnant.

Me: Er... I don't think so. Just fat, ha ha.

Her: Oh right. I thought you look pregnant.

Weird, eh

Yep RP, you need to use FMU! (first morning urine).
Maybe the strange woman at work is right?

I was supposed to be cooking a lovely dinner for DP and then going for a gentle run with a friend. I've not been able to exercise properly since getting pg as I was too exhausted, and now the mc, as I'm too weak and exhausted . All I've done however is fall asleep on the sofa, woken up too late to run and cooked a really nasty looking meal for DP because I didn't have half the stuff I wanted for what I intended to make and I made it up instead. It looks nasty and I don't want to eat it myself...

rp I'd use fmu. How many dpo are you? Are you confident about your ov date? Just thinking about you not bring sure about your bbt charts? Maybe the woman was a secret fortune teller!

barking bet it's not that bad but you could just get a dominos if all else fails?

funky mrs walker re midwives - how funny was the woman who thought she'd had a boy til she realised she'd been looking at the umbilical cord haha!

Okay I just got home and poas before seeing the comments here. It is BFN but there is, like, the ghost of a second line. As though you could see where a second line would be if that makes sense?

DH reckons it is just cos the absorbent material of the stick is damp so it is a little darker. I think he is probably right.....?

Where on the strip is it? Is it just after the control line? Are you doing an ic?

I'm doing First Response. There's like an oval window and one dark line and one faint ghost line equally spaced apart from each other. That ghost line got the teensiest bit darker as time went on but then I've just seen on their site you shouldn't leave it more than 10 min which I did.

I think I'm just going to put it out of my mind and try tomorrow with FMU. Thank you all for that tip! I still don't feel at all pg and am fairly sure AF will come tomorrow.

Try again tomorrow morning RP