The Elderberry Pavlovas- All aboard the Berrycopter. Thread 14

[funkymonk]

The smallprint - Berries have a strict entrance criteria (TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 3+months, NO instadiffers, must have a special pot) and def no mention of baby dust or baby dancing UGH !!! Ooh we are strict...please note your house may be at risk if you do not keep up repayments lol

you've cone to the right place here, these gals will look after you

Lol at foody and getting her age wrong! You could have just fibbed though, we wouldn't have known!

Thanks for that Pip just had a listen. Interesting where the data comes from!

Barking - 34, ttc 21 months, bfp on clomid in aug, mc in sept. Hoping AF or bfp isn't delayed so we can start back on the clomid asap
Bunny - 33, TTC 18 months, FC says IVF is the way to go, next step lap & dye
Foodylicious -34, ttc nov 2011, mc in may, back on the ttc bus this month
Kuma - 38, ttc 9 months, GP appointment to get things moving on 24th. AF/BFP (how optimistic) due 1 Oct
Happylass, 35, currently on a TTC break. 1st appointment at FC on 20/9
Yorkiebilb, 35, ttc 13 months mmc Dec. High fsh suggesting low ovarian reserve. iui next cycle.
Sidney, 38, ttc 15 months. Starting clomid any day now if AF would just show up; onto IVF by Dec if no joy.
RevoltingPeasant, 34, ttc since May 13 but with various "challenges", AF due 16.9
mrsw, 35, ttc since May 13, AF 40 days late but BFNs, waiting for blood test results.
Fox82 -31, ttc since Dec '12. Not even a hint of a bfp!
FeatherFeather11, 34, ttc since sept 12. Pcos, 5 rounds of clomid since Feb 13, not a sniff of bfp
Boodle - 30, ttc for 27 cycles and counting. Clomid sucks. FCs suck. People having babies suck.
Funkymonk - 31, ttc since October 2012. mc in July 2013. FC appt 10th Oct. AF/BFP ? as screwed things up with high doses of B6.
Pipbin 38 TTC since April 2011 waiting for second round of IVF, due to start in December.

BFP Berries:-
Blindkitty - 33, ttc for 26 months, 5+0 thanks to the wonders of iui
Merk
Boom
Thunder
Tally

Question lovely berries - after being told it was unlikely to happen naturally (if that's what you were told) did it take you a while to feel positive towards things? DH is all its great we now have a plan (ivf) etc but after a week I still feel very 'lost' and don't know how to feel. Does that make sense?

Bunny, I was initially disappointed that I wasn't just going to need clomid (I was sure I had PCOS) but once we got referred for IVF I was happy that something positive was happening because I was so sick of failing to conceive naturally every month.

Can't add myself to the list on my phone.

Lady, 34, just started IVF down regulation injections.

I had the opposite. After 14 months of trying and discovering that my short LP was not a reason for celebration I'd already given up hope myself that we could do it without help. 'Getting into the system' and starting all the tests, getting the clomid, knowing we were on our way towards IVF was a huge help. It finally felt like we had a chance. Cycle 22 (I think it was by then) when we took clomid for the first time felt like the first cycle it could actually really happen, even though the fc said it was unlikely to help (oh the irony).

I never had any romantic idea about a natural conception though, I was always 'whatever it takes!'

Bunny For me, I'm heading down the IVF route although apart from a pesky fibroid there are no explanations as to why we can't conceive naturally. My biggest fear is the age thing and it really does feel like a ticking time bomb. It was my 39 and a half birthday last week :-(

Although you've had some bad news the good thing is your age and I do believe you'll get a baby by the end of it. For me I'm not convinced. The stats for assisted conceptions below 35 are pretty good so hang on in there X

Welcome Feathers - nice to have a newbie in Berry HQ.

Glad the GP appointment was productive Kuma.

Can someone add me to the list:

Gillster, 39 1/2, TTC since March 12, waiting for appointment to have fibroid removed, waiting to see consultant about IVF (Dec?). AF due at weekend.

gillster&lady added!

Barking - 34, ttc 21 months, bfp on clomid in aug, mc in sept. Hoping AF or bfp isn't delayed so we can start back on the clomid asap
Bunny - 33, TTC 18 months, FC says IVF is the way to go, next step lap & dye
Foodylicious -34, ttc nov 2011, mc in may, back on the ttc bus this month
Kuma - 38, ttc 9 months, GP appointment to get things moving on 24th. AF/BFP (how optimistic) due 1 Oct
Happylass, 35, currently on a TTC break. 1st appointment at FC on 20/9
Yorkiebilb, 35, ttc 13 months mmc Dec. High fsh suggesting low ovarian reserve. iui next cycle.
Sidney, 38, ttc 15 months. Starting clomid any day now if AF would just show up; onto IVF by Dec if no joy.
RevoltingPeasant, 34, ttc since May 13 but with various "challenges", AF due 16.9
mrsw, 35, ttc since May 13, AF 40 days late but BFNs, waiting for blood test results.
Fox82 -31, ttc since Dec '12. Not even a hint of a bfp!
FeatherFeather11, 34, ttc since sept 12. Pcos, 5 rounds of clomid since Feb 13, not a sniff of bfp
Boodle - 30, ttc for 27 cycles and counting. Clomid sucks. FCs suck. People having babies suck.
Funkymonk - 31, ttc since October 2012. mc in July 2013. FC appt 10th Oct. AF/BFP ? as screwed things up with high doses of B6.
Pipbin 38 TTC since April 2011 waiting for second round of IVF, due to start in December.
Lady, 34, just started IVF down regulation injections
Gillster, 39 1/2, TTC since March 12, waiting for appointment to have fibroid removed, waiting to see consultant about IVF (Dec?). AF due at weekend

BFP Berries:-
Blindkitty - 33, ttc for 26 months, 5+0 thanks to the wonders of iui
Merk
Boom
Thunder
Tally

funkymonk I used b6 before but not much wisdom to pass on -
Basicaly we had been TTC for 16 months using calendar as I thought I got EWCM on about the right days (but had not checked!). On cycle 17 I decided to give OPK's a go - before this I was desperate to believe it was just going to happen - turned out that cycle I did not get + Opk until cd19, so OV cd20-21. I initally was pleased I finally had +opk, then read up on this and fould out about short lp. At this I panicvked, read some more and went strait to the shops and bought loads of B6. I started that day on about 80mg I think (were 10mg tablets) I carried on taking this then at 100mg (I think) and we got our BFP that month. I then traumatised about how much to take, how long to take it for, was I doing any harm, but what would happen if i suddenly stopped taking it???? most stuff said I should be fine taking it (was on 50mg by now), but it continued to worry me. Sadly we MC at 8wks.
I have read that short lp can increase chance of early MC as not enough lining for emby to bed into, but I don't think 8 wks is counted as 'early MC'. I had had 2 scans by this point at 6wks and 7 wks everything had been fine in the scans, but I had had light bleeding they could find no cause for. (Sorry will stop now, sniffle).

I am trying really hard to be positive this month have managed to dtd on all the right days, but OV not until cd19 so I have started 50mg again as of yesterday as my cycles really are always 28-29days...

Oh barking how rubbish! Its really tricky, I don't believe in making yourself do anything you don't want to do, but then again I am a fan 'fake it till you make it', so at times make myself 'act' as if I am in the mood until my body catches up! Usuallt works, but if it doesn't I just stop and say sorry, lets snuggle instead. Also how much snuggling are you doing?? the more snuggly we are the closer we feel I think?? although it can be hard when you are trying to keep yourself together.

I think I had about a normal cycle, maybe a little longer before first AF? bits of that time are such a blur and other bits so clear, sorry! I do remember being desperate for it to turn up so I would be back to 'normal'.

bunny no wonder you feel lost! it must be so much to take in when its actually you, not just something you are reading/learning/thinking about. Trying to think of what you can do to get some of that control back? I guess there are maybe lifestyle things you can throw yourself into that maximise the success of IVF? Sorry not much help x have some

Bonjour everyone! Thanks for being so kind and welcoming.

Barking: so sorry to hear about your mc. It's still early days so it's no wonder you're feeling the way you do. Just take your time to feel it all out.

Thanks for the link Pip - will have a listen. Here's another, this time an article from the Atlantic that was v interesting:

www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2013/07/how-long-can-you-wait-to-have-a-baby/309374/

Gillster: if it's any help, my cousin just had her first at 41. It happens more than the mainstream media lets us hear about.

I'm now cd35/17dpo. I did another hpt and it's negative. Think I need to give up hope and just accept that af is late. Was so down about it this morning that I rang in sick at work! Dp had got his hopes quite high, I think, as he looks really disappointed. I feel such a failure yet I'm totally starting to bore myself with the constant ttc stuff. Should I have a blood test or not bother?

Also, this:

www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/09/embracing-desperation-in-fertility/279878/

feather unfortunately your doc prob wont do one yet, but tell you to do another test in a week! ridiculous I know cause you want to know NOW!, but from their view it does not matter clinically if you know now or in a week.
However if you think they might then you should make an appt????

Hope you having a good day at home being good to yourself and eating

Thanks Foody. If I'm totally honest, I know in my heart it's negative, but I'll give the docs a call anyway.

Had a quick chat to the fertility nurse who basically ruled out pregnancy. She's told me to wait till Monday and to take Provera for 5 days to bring on my period so I can start clomid again. Eeeeek!

bunny I felt worse after the fc appoitment cos before I had still had hope it might happen at anytime, when we were told about the fsh/amh thing and that it was unlikely to happen I felt it was like a death sentence. Then we were told that we had even less chance than the normal ivf 30% due to the egg quality, and only one nhs funded cycle, I felt like we may as well not bother. it was like we were going to go thru all that trauma and it still prob wouldn't happen.

I found it extremely hard to be positive. thats why we took 2 cycles out to get our heads round it...

then..... well u know the rest. I know exactly how u feel and sympathise. its rubbish!

Welcome Feather, you have found the right place for support and empathy! Sorry you're having a down day Maybe the day off from life in general will do you some good. I'm on my first round of clomid and go from being excited about it to feeling like I fail at life because now TTC has gone from a private matter to one that's being medically managed. It's a beating, isn't it?

Not sure what's going on with me but I've felt nauseous for weeks now and am definitely NOT pg so all I can think is that it's due to a sinus issue (yuck). Between that and feeling tired/sharp stitch-like pain in my pelvic area, I just want to crawl back into bed.

Funny thing I forgot to mention last week; DH read the "side effects" section on the Clomid handout that came with the drugs packet. He wanted to know how on earth he'd be able to tell if I was suffering from the side effects of moodiness, irritability, headache and/or depression, since all those things are pretty much par for the course 15 months down the TTC track - hardy har har, my husband the comedian. or maybe that's my irritability showing

how is everyone? anyone upset over the Bakeoff elimination last night? (won't spoil it but we were a little disappointed!) Loving the cool temps now and trying to think of a weekend trip we can take once the leaves start changing color in earnest. I love autumn!!

bunny once I accepted it wouldn't happen naturally I felt far more relaxed and stopped blaming myself for drinking that glass of wine on a Friday, having sex ed, having sex eod bla bla bla. For me it was always a case that I'd get pg once I had iui/ivf but never imagined it would happen 1st go!

Welcome to the thread feather and sorry to read about your ttc history. You're amongst a bunch of lovely ladies who have helped me no end so i'm sure you'll find the thread a source of comfort when you're dealing with the tough times ahead. Thanks for posting those links as well, they make a very interesting read.

bunny I feel the same as you about the whole fertility treatment thing. Felt initially positive that things were moving forwards but af has just arrived and I'd secretly got my hopes up that we would fall pg before our iui. Now that isn't going to happen I'm dealing with the fact that this is the route for us and I feel quite sad and daunted by the whole thing so completely get what you mean bunny

Anyway, on a positive, I pick up my meds tonight and then book in with the clinic for my 1st scan over the next two days. In other news I had my amh retested and it has still come back as high which still confuses me considering my fsh is high

The fc seems to think because of that I have a decent ovarian reserve despite my fsh figures and has asked me to think about egg sharing meaning we could get a free ivf cycle and help someone else out. That would be fab if that was the case but we have alot of blood tests and I'm still not convinced about these old eggs of mine

barking I agree with the other berries and think that it would be a good idea for your oh to ask his bf if his wife is pg. I think the not knowing adds to the torture of it and if you know what is going on then you can start to deal with it. It's a horrible situation and I really feel for you.

sid That sounds exactly like something my dh would say. Cheeky! I hope you suitably reprimanded him!

Sidney & Yorkie - thanks for your kind words. It's so amazing to be talking to women who are going through ttc stuff too - as you all know, I'm sure, this ttc business can be a lonely road!

I think the only way forward is to stay as positive as possible right now. Having just come back from hols three weeks ago, I came back with my head screwed in and ready to tackle it all, but these last few days have been a wobble. Thanks so much for everyone's support and warm welcome

Two questions: how do I bold up peoples' names like in all your posts? I'm using my phone and I can't seem to do it! And the other thing is is B6 - should I be taking it? What does it do?

Feather, I tried b6 to lengthen luteal phase but it did nothing for me. To bold words, it should just be an asterix * on either side of the word with no spaces.

Barking, my birthday is not until after Christmas (along with a load of other berries whose birthdays fall in Jan/Feb) so I'm 39 for a while longer yet!!!

Hello...I've just aged myself! 30, not 39!

Evening all and hello feather - fellow newbie to the berries - glad we've both found it!

Bunny a delayed reflection on your question... I started TTC expecting it wouldn't happen naturally so I knew I'd be persuading the doc to start formal testing as soon as possible. That in itself has been upsetting because my doc is dreadful and dismissive. I had pelvic inflammatory disease when I was 17 and I was told then (by a very judgemental nurse) that I'd blown my chances of conceiving naturally. That was followed by a diagnosis of endometriosis in my early 20s All of this documented so my doc's insistence I should just be patient makes me

On a cheerful note, I saw 3D scan images of my friend's baby, due in Nov., conceived after a long time TTC including treatment at FC. Made me want to hang on in there.

Evening!

sid your OH should be in the stage! Sweeping

Thank you lovely ladies for sharing your thoughts and feelings about fertility, I feel better now. It is one emotional crazy roller-coaster we are on!!!

Got my letter today from consultant reviewing what was discussed in my appointment last week, very odd reading about myself!

Was just going to say you're not 39 boodle!

Thanks kitty

sid wasn't it you that got a personalised 'good luck on your clomid cycle' from your private fc? I've just some info about egg sharing along with a good luck with your IUI note with it! I like it! I don't know why but I now have visions of 'good luck on your ivf/IUI/clomid/delete as appropriate' cards being sold in whsmiths. Too much?!