The Elderberry Pavlovas- All aboard the Berrycopter. Thread 14

[funkymonk]

The smallprint - Berries have a strict entrance criteria (TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 3+months, NO instadiffers, must have a special pot) and def no mention of baby dust or baby dancing UGH !!! Ooh we are strict...please note your house may be at risk if you do not keep up repayments lol

Good luck Bunny.
One of the questions I would ask is how you can get through the barrage of tests in the fastest most efficient way

Morning! Just popping in to wish bunny luck today, hope you have a tame consultant who actually knows arses from elbows what they're talking about. And I always went for dildocam in jeans - but then I have no shame!

barking glad your off work for a bit and that the bleeding is stopping. Can't remember who said '2 steps forward, one step back' but that is so true x

Have we really got a new berry called arse?!

*you're, not your

Bunny good luck. I don't know about you, but I always go from being an intelligent presentable professional person to a gibbering moron in front of consultants. I am sure you are much more together than me, though :)

No AF arrived overnight so I'm at 10DPO, which is not that bad, I guess. Is it true that if you AF starts after 6pm on a given day, you actually 'count it' as starting the next day? I read that somewhere on here.....

RB that is exactly how I feel when speaking with consultants! A gibbering wreck is a great way to describe us!

On the subject of when does AF start I have heard numerous answers from the experts. My NHS consultant told me to count from the day you start seeing anything regardless of amount, colour etc whereas the private consultant yesterday said it is when you get your full flow. So the experts don't even agree about that! I would just go with whatever you've been told by your clinic rather than confuse yourself with trying to find the answer elsewhere. Sorry that probably didnt answer your question!

Hey thunder how are you? Thanks for your thoughts. Tbh I'm not sure if I want to ring as I'm worried if I dare question his judgement it could affect any potential referral. I know it shouldn't work like that but I just don't trust it - maybe I'm being overly paranoid.

Hey yorkie yeah I can understand what you mean, although if you came to it all humble and 'I have read that clomid has this effect which could therefore jeopardise my ivf chances- could you put my mind at ease?' angle then it shouldn't offend him? It makes me mad that we have to tiptoe around these bloody consultants when our needs/concerns/well being should be at the centre of everything.

I'm ok thanks lady, still feeling like crap but not complaining

Yorkie question EVERYTHING you're not happy with! I wouldn't pg otherwise! My consultant wanted to put me on another several months of clomid but I talked her into iui and then still took the clomid behind her back whilst on the waiting list. Also, she wanted to put me on clomid with the iui so I complained (twice) as I knew it was pointless and I got put on menopur, which thankfully worked!

RP the NHS intake nurse I saw said that you could count a day as "day 1" as long as your period began before 4pm. I'm assuming that means "full flow" before 4pm, but honestly the more I think about "full flow," the less sure I know what that is! They make this way harder than it should be!

Well I've looked at the calendar Merk and got quietly excited after seeing that yesterday would've been CD25, so if I ov'd on CD13 and add a 12day LP then AF should've turned up yesterday, and didn't. Have done 2 pg tests and both are neg so am now numb to the whole affair. I can't understand how I can pop out two eggs at a time but yet neither manages to get fertilized, or does but then doesn't stick. It's possible that having this next cycle monitored is what I need because I'm such a dummy that I need to be told by a professional exactly when I'm ovulating and therefore exactly when to have sex and that the Clomid itself isn't going to do anything, but the monitoring might. But bottom line is that I am very reluctant to even take the plunge - I don't feel like things are settled enough at home that I can be sure the stress I'm under due to this ongoing family scheduling conflict wouldn't override any sort of intervention I'm putting myself through Told DH this last night and he was stunned and very upset and now I'm even more confused and truly don't know what's best to do.

Oh Sid poor you, totally understand the family issue concerns and not sure what to advise.
Am I allowed to ask if your tests were FMU?

Aw Sid DH didn't have any answers then, I take it?

I also POAS yesterday, on CD26 for me - BFN, of course. Couldn't help it, though!!

Thanks and to yorkie for the AF info. Not at a clinic yet, just doing my own monitoring, so I'll take 4pm as a guideline :)

sid so sorry the family saga continues . Has there been any progress towards a reasonable schedule at all? On facebook cold turkey (can't cope with bumps, babies and happy families) so not been able to keep up.

bunny should be legs akimbo about now....

I just opened the post and MiL has kindly sent us lots of photos of DP's newborn nephew, and some of DP and I holding him (when we were pg). I can't even look at them. . It was bad enough walking past the baby aisle in the supermarket never mind coming home to that .

No bleeding today so hopefully that's all over now. Feeling very nervous and strange about dtd. We've not managed it since we got pg as I was feeling sick and exhausted, so I'm very aware it's been a while (not that lovely DP has pointed this out or brought it up at all). I don't think there's any chance of getting pg again until my cycles have come back and I can take the clomid again, but the nurse after the scan did say that some women find their cycles settle down after a mc (when they were irregular before) and it could increase chances of getting pg. I can't bear to think we're not taking advantage of every possible opportunity, and also want to get that aspect of our relationship back to 'normal' but don't know how I'll feel. Am I being weird?

Hello,

Been browsing all morning pre doctor and now home again and wanted to post... Relieved to have found a whole group of women who know what this is like - I didn't wait til 35 to start TTC, I just didn't meet my DH til I was 33 - first appt with doctor he told me I needed to get a move on - helpful.

Went to doc 10 days ago. AF 40 days late (now missed two.) Tender abdomen, peeing a lot, feel like my temp is raised. All home tests show BFN. Sent away to not worry because that won't help. Back today after 7 days of nausea and back pain. Home test still BFN. Blood tests will be taken tomorrow.

I'm terrified that I am now creating these symptoms because I want to be pg. I don't know what's more scary: that I might have willed them into being or that there might be something physically wrong. Just scared all round.

Sorry for splurge; thank you for listening

Hi MrsW sorry you're having a confusing time. At least your doc is giving you some blood tests and hopefully the results will give you an answer either way and you can make plans to move forwards. FX for you, and welcome in to the berries!

Barking I am at your MIL. (Of course I am assuming she knows about the mc and knew before she posted the pics - if not I will apologise profusely to her!) What a stupid thing to do. I can't believe how insensitive people can be. Have some chocolate and a hug. GRRRRRR

RP Still no AF? How many DPO are you now?

To be fair I don't think DP has told her, but she does know we've been trying and having problems and it was her that kept insisting that going to see said nephew would upset me.

Hello mrsw. How long have you been trying? Have you run the gauntlet of tests etc? How long will you have to wait for the blood test results? Sorry everything is so confusing.

Hello NWMM and barking - thank you for the welcome

We've been trying 11 months - this is first of any tests - I had been well briefed by my sister that no point in approaching the NHS here until you'd been TTC for a year, even at my age! I was hoping for a sympathetic hearing from doc but no luck. He went with comedy instead: several references to peppering my pot and at one point a joke about blow jobs followed by 'actually no, that's not where you want it!' He then congratulated me on being up for DTD because my psoriasis is flaring and he was surprised I felt attractive enough. And this is only the start...

Oh my goodness where did you find that doctor?!?
How old are you if you don't mind me asking? Depending on where you are, it's possible to be be referred after 6 months if you are over 35.

Mrs I second barking's - that's totally disgraceful and I would be lodging a complaint about him bigtime! How offensive!! What are they testing you for? It's nerve-wracking to have tests, I know. I won't even tell you to try not to worry because it can't really be helped when something is off with your body! (not too helpful)

Barking at your MIL. She sounds like mine, with a bad case of Foot in Mouth disease and a terminal case of thoughtlessness. It sounds like she's gone overboard in both directions and I'm just really sorry that those photos arrived at such an awful time, even if she didn't know.

Merk test this a.m. was FMU. This is the first month I've actually thought of myself as 'infertile'. I just can't understand why it hasn't happened yet, unless it's just not going to, ever. (pity party much?) to be fair we didn't really DTD too much this month and if the consultant was wrong about my ov date then we never had a chance anyway, but still, I feel completely numb about it and can barely muster the energy to even have a cry. Merk RP Barking thanks for the support; it is a soul destroying issue and I hesitate to talk about it too much here but no, no real resolution and I'm truly wondering if starting Clomid under this stress is even wise. I want to feel supported and prioritized, and I just don't, not in the ways I need to right now as it seems like someone else's wants are coming ahead of my needs, based on DH's actions. I know he's unhappy about this but since he's the only one who can do anything about it, and hasn't managed it yet...not sure where that leaves me.

Bunny???????????????????????????????

Bunny's enjoying the dildocam too much

Also RP just realised I didn't really respond to you properly the other day re. your chart...
Notice that the temperatures before O mostly have a filled in circle to mark them on the chart, whereas the more recent ones have a non filled in circle. A non filled in circle indicates a temperature that has been discarded manually by the user or a temperature that has been recorded at a time outside of the normal range. If you are taking your temperatures on time are you not putting them into FF until later? This could explain why FF thinks the times are wrong.
This will also probably be the cause of why you have dotted lines making up the crosshairs on your chart and not solid lines. Dotted lines indicate that FF is not certain about your ovulation date - I think this will be caused by the pre / post O temps that are not solid circles.

I would guess that if you go back and make the times on all of your temperatures the same, that the open circles will change to closed circles and the dotted lines will turn to solid lines. (This will also give FF more reliable data for future stats and charts so worth doing)

Also are you not doing OPK's to correlate your O date?

FF explanation of dotted lines here
FF explanation of open and closed circles here

Lecture over!

We always knew she was jealous of not having had one Thunder That poor doc trying to wrestle it back from her

Are my ears burning?!?

YES! We need an update Mrs!

Merk that reminds me of my DM telling me about her first-ever gynae exam, when she was pregnant with me. Apparently she said to the doc, 'Ha ha, you won't be getting THAT back'.

Doc:

MrsW what did you say? That has made me right DH has psoriasis and it is bad enough small children staring in the pool and so forth. You should be able to go to the doctor's without the stand-up routine. At least you should email the practice manager. Seriously, or he will do it to someone with real issues over their appearance.

Sid I think (maybe???) I do know a little how you feel. It's not really the same circs but DH's erectile dysfunction meant we couldn't ttc for a really long time, and half the battle was actually getting him to treat his condition. Not the same circs, but just that awful feeling of your partner saying they want this but then in practice undermining it or just being passive........Is that how you feel?

Sorry if you've already said but have you had a big heart-to-heart?