Hello! No I've not been scared off! Sperm omelette, eh? (Though who am I kidding, just this evening I offered the husband a BJ because I once read that swallowing reduces the chances of immune incompatability. I swear it was all funnier & sexier than I've made it sound. 
)
My story's quite dull really. Initially got updiffed quite quickly when we started trying, after 4 months, then another 6 maybe, but both hung about only very briefly, and nowt since. Over 2 years since I saw a BFP, so much so I've given up buying pee-sticks & don't even have any in the house. Maybe that's where I'm going wrong? Need to have them dotted about like crystals for positive BFP energy?
Anyway, have had lots of bloods, and an HSG, everything "perfect", the husband apparently has the "Usain Bolt of sperm!" (the nurse actually said that) but still... nothing. So we've finally met NHS criteria for treatment & are going along to the clinic next week to hear what they plan to do to get me knocked up with their fancy science & stuff. Meanwhile, I'm yoga-ing & acupuncture-ing & meditation-ing & general healthful living-ing to gear my body up for what seems like major hormonal assault & to give a last go at doing it the old-fashioned way before all the injections & whatnot. (And dildocams, which I seem to have avoided so far!)
I'm on my phone so can't see who asked, but yes, I am a healthcare professional with a cat!
I'm happy to do a dance in a sausage costume if that fits the bill for initiation rites. I wang enthrallingly, I promise you.