TTC 10+ months part 16

[Buzzybee123]

New thread for the lovely 10+ers.

Welcome back Rabbit
I'm sorry cycle is messing you about. It is v strange how it all starts to change when we are TTCing. I personally think it's something to do with all the poking about down there. I think Nelly is absolutely right though about IVF being beyond all that. I think by the time you do IVF all the irregularities don't really matter. I do understand your concern though... I have never spotted before TTC but these days I do every month. I have also notice I no longer have any EWCM - EVER which is a concern. Perhaps we just notice these things more because we are TTCing. As for being peri menopausal. I am sure this is not true at all. As Joy pointed out... your FSH is too low for that. I know it's easier said than done but try not to worry. Big hand hold.
Will you be cycling in Oct? With some luck we will be cycle buddies!

Nelly - I think it's v wise of you to take a break from thinking about TTCing. I think we all need it from time to time. Otherwise it's just so all encompassing.

Tomorrow will be last day of 3 months of antibiotics. I can't believe it's finally over.

euro - at sprinkler system. Hope any TWW mentalling is being safely kept at bay by distractions.

sea - hurrah for being off antibiotics! 3 months worth! That must have felt like an age. What were they for? And cycling in Oct - I might be joining you!

joy - much hand-holding for IVF starting soon! It sounds like you've been through a LOT in previous cycles, but this one is a fresh start altogether. I very much hope it will be the one for you.

nelly - I wish I could stop thinking about TTC. For a full 5 mins would be great.

rabbit - we can definitely be Very Fucked Off together. Misery loves company. Sorry about the weird cycle madness, though. I've also found that my body went doolally in the last few years of TTC. It really doesn't inspire confidence, and leaves me convinced that though we're supposedly both 'normal', the problems getting pregnant must somehow be all down to me and my broken womb/mind/whatever.

Oh, the joys!

That said, I'm feeling cautiously optimistic about this body of mine at the moment. (WARNING: potential TMI grossness ahead, if you're having a meal reading this...) CD2 here (didn't get to give my husband that bfp birthday pressie yesterday I was half wishing for in a v delusional manner, but hey ho, thank goodness for compensatory blow jobs) and my period is so far looking... healthy? As in not brown/black, and gunky, and old, and yeck. Which it has often done over the past few years, and always makes me think my lining must have died off ages prior and just been sitting around waiting to be cleared out at official period time, if that makes any sense? And isn't too grim to contemplate. Anyway, this 'healthy so far' period and the 5 insane days of EWCM I had last month is cheering. Good motivation to keep going with the dairy-gluten-sugar-free/acupuncture-yoga-heavy thing at any rate.

Although, who knows if any of that has genuinely made a difference, but anything that makes me feel even remotely more 'fertile' is going to a great thing for my sanity through IVF.

Well, that was a bit long and me me me-ish! I'll feck off to my yoga and green smoothie now then.

sea I used to get copious EWCM. It stopped, abruptly, about 8 months into ttc. Since the mc is has come back, but in smaller quantities than before.

Hurrah for the end of antibs! PS - nice new name.

rabbit I'll join in the chorus - you are not peri-menopausal lovely.

rum acu is good for getting things flowing again. I used to have very painful, long, clotty periods (lots of cramping to get the clots through the cervix, I think). Since I started acu they are much less painful and flow more. I used to need prescription painkillers, now I take a paracetemol some months and nothing at all other months. The downside is that it all comes out very quickly and I get through san pro like it is going out of fashion (was it ever in?) for the first couple of days.

Thanks for all the concern and handholding through my tricky IVF experience ladies. This thread really is a lifeline and I hope we stay in touch once we all have our babies. My lady bits now seem to be back to normal and I can now pee straight again, which is a relief! Now, I just have the waiting part to worry about.

Thanks Euro - I wanted a change... Maybe I am having an identity crisis!
Good to know your EWCM returned. I really don't know where mine went. Maybe antibotics and heavy hayfever meds took it all away. I hope it returns because I feel like a menopausal old woman without it. So glad to hear your lady bits have recovered. I hope your heavy workload is taking your mind off 2ww.

Rum - I second what Euro said about acu being good for getting period going again. I had the same experience. I think Chinese herbs is also excellent but probably best not to take during IVF and it can also take a while for it to work but I swear by it. I think being gluten and sugar free is great. Well done you for sticking to it. I do my best to cut down but I am not completely off both. I no longer eat pasta which is already a big sacrifice... Re antibiotics... they were for latent TB which I tested positive for before Humira treatment for high Cytokines (molecules that tell cells what to do?!). I will only be able to cycle in Oct if cytokines have come down enough. I really hope they have...

Euro - hurrah at peeing straight! Also aren't we all going to meet with our babies [mine will have been rescued from a Russian orphanage] and have some baptism of fire where we pile high all our conception and fertility books, poas, snake oils and send them all up in smoke and wave these years good riddance ?

Rum - great news that your cycle looks much better this time around. It's the simple things like that that can make us very happy.

Sea - great you will be off the Antibs. Thank goodness.

Glad to hear you're almost back to normal euro , it's not surprising your bits have been feeling sorry for themselves considering what they've been through. I really suffered after the end of the 2ww with a what I think was a UTI and thrush. I'm not prone to infections so this was definitely down to the ivf. You don't have too much longer to wait now, hang in there. FWIW, I've read loads of stories of people with poor grade or slow growing embies getting babies. My two were supposedly good growers but then never did anything because I'm sure there was no implantation. It's so hard to predict which is why this ivf malarkey seems to be as much an art as science.

sea woo hoo for getting to the end of the tb treatment. Onwards and upwards.

rabbit you are not peri meno whatsit. Weird cycles are normal too. I don't believe it when people say that theirs are entirely predictable, I suspect they just don't pay attention. I always thought mine were regular until I actually started counting. My dr told me it doesn't matter what your cycles are like becuase ivf bypasses it all. So don't go fretting!

joy I think that's so strange that your friend hasn't told you she's pregnant. Do you think she's worried about telling you because she doesn't want to upset you. Although of course you'd find out or was she planning on keeping the baby a secret too? I had a 20 week annoucement today, she hadn't told many people because it's twins and she wanted to wait until after the second scan. I totally understand this but getting the scan photo by email was a big shock for me, the title of the email was "the best news ever x2" I knew what it would be before I opened it. ID twins conceived on honeymoon, how lucky are some people?

thread hogging today but I have to tell you about a chat I had yesterday. I met up with someone I hadn't seen in a few years. I had suspected she might have been having trouble ttc because she's been married 7 years, has never been bothered about her career, has a big house, husband has well paid job etc, etc. In catching up she told me that she's been ttc for almost 5 years. In that time she has had one mc at 6 weeks and nothing else. She has had no tests done and neither has her dh. She said that she doesn't want any testing because she won't have any treatment because it's natures way and if she's not meant to have a baby then that's it (!) I was so pleased that I hadn't told her about us because she then started saying that ivf is wrong, not natural etc. She wouldn't listen when I disagreed with her, she talked over me and I felt very annoyed so had to keep my mouth shut so as not to say something harsh. She was so closed in her thinking, a real shock to hear it. I totally understand that people have views on ivf, but I was surprised that you can have been trying for 5 years and not have wanted to find out why it hasn't happened. She seemed very naive, I thought she sounded like she still thought it was going to happen and I wanted to say something positive which is what I think other people do when she talks to them but really I was thinking if it's not happened in 5 years it's not going to happen for you without help. I asked what her dh's view was and she said that he really wants a kids but she has told him she will never have any sort of treatment. I don't think she even knows what's available, and her view of ivf I suspect is very ill informed. Anyway, I was quite upset by her views and I don't think I'll make an effort to contact her again any time soon.

MrsD
I'm speechless at your friend's attitude re IVF. Actually I'm not because I have met some many that hold that view. But it is usual for someone who is having trouble in that area to be so closed minded! Is she v religious? I have met many who think it's against nature because ivf docs are playing god. Would she refuse medical treatment for an illness? I'm just sorry you had to encounter these views.
As for your friend with twin scan pics. I really don't understand the obsession with sending these around. Maybe I'm the one being unreasonable.

Sorry. That was an awful phone post. Unusual, not usual.

joy the bonfire sounds AWESOME!

sea I know what you mean - I felt like a dried up old crone when mine disappeared!

mrsd identical twins on honeymoon. I bet she doesn't appreciate how lucky she is. And the other friend's views are, um, unusual. Mind you before I started down this path, I thought I would be of the "what will be, will be" mindset and I would never have IVF. My views changed once I was in the midst of unsuccessful ttc hell though! I wonder if it is a religious objection, as sea suggests. Or maybe she is terrified of gynae exams or something. You never know. It sounds hard on her husband though as it may mean a life without kids for something that is easily fixable.

Euro Glad that you are feeling better. I did laugh at your sprinkler system weeing. My bladder was very unhappy after the lap and EC.

mrsd Oh Gosh at the e-mailed scan pic. I really do find sending round scan pictures a strange thing to do. I can't imagine that anyone other than me, MrP and perhaps our respective mothers would be interested. Your friend who is so staunchly opposed to IVF is strange. Do you think she is just afraid of delving into the unknown & perhaps getting answers to her lack of baby that she doesn't want to hear? Before being a fully paid up member of the barrens club I was a bit freaked out by IVF but when you end up with it seemingly your only option you get over that. It is odd that she hasn't reached that point.

rabbit sorry that you are stressed again about wonky cycles. It is very frustrating when your cycle keeps changing and you can't get a handle on it but I'm sure that you aren't broken. You have had a stressful time of it of late, well since fibroidgate which is a long time. Maybe your periods are going a bit haywire because of stress. Just a thought.

rum sorry that you didn't get your DH that birthday pressie but hell, I've heard that BFPs are a bitch to wrap If MrRum is anything like MrP I'm sure that he appreciated more just as much his alternative present!
Hurrah for "healthy" periods and you feeling that the changed diet is worthwhile.

sea Hurrah for coming to the end of your mammoth course of antibiotics. I will be willing your cytokines to have dropped enough for you to cycle in October.

An email is an ok way to get an announcement but I don't understand attaching the scan photo. This one is slightly more interesting than most in that you can make out two babies and 20 weeks ones look more like babies. But, all scan photos look the same if you ask me and I don't know why people think others are interested. euro you're right, I'm sure she doesn't know how lucky she is. She felt the need to tell me in the email that it was a honeymoon surprise. Nice.

My friend isn't religious, so that doesn't explain it. It's strange. I assumed that when faced with infertility people would act the same way as me ie search for answers and then at least look into treatment. What shocked me is her total ignorance, I don't get the impression that she has even googled the subject. From what she said she quite clearly knows nothing about it. She rambled a bit about the injections but that seemed to be the extent of her knowledge. I stupidly let it upset me, but I couldn't challenge her because I decided there and then that there was no way I wanted to talk about my situation and be judged by her. I think she actually isn't that bothered about having a baby and so is happy to leave it to fate. She has a family member who is a dr (although in a totally different area) and I think they have badly advised her because she said she spoke to them and they told her it was normal to take a long time. But 5 years is not normal. Her dh is lovely and I feel a bit sad for him, she said he was going to get himself tested so I don't think he feels the same way but she didn't sound very happy about it and said that there was no point because she wouldn't do anything if it did show a problem. I have decided not to make contact with her anymore, she's one to drop off the xmas card list.

Mrsd - what a shame about your friend's attitude as you could have found a good friend to talk to there especially considering everyone else you know has been diffed quickly. Gah. It is hard to explain. I always said I would never do ivf and would leave nature up to fate but of course that was pre problems.. Hahaha. I will now take every drug going in the hope of getting pregnant. I guess some people want it more than others. But not to have even got some blood tests I find odd. It sounds like the woman I met at a wedding who told me she had started trying at 33 and by 38 she thought there must be something wrong. It was her hubby who wanted the kids and pushed her to see a doc. She was put on clomid and bang twins before her 40th. But she kept telling me she just wasn't that maternal and she basically did it for her hubby. So a shame on your feiend's husband.

Someone in my office was just saying that they were off to see friends who have a 3 and 1 year old. He said he found it extraordinary considering the wife is 53. Impressive, it gives me hope!

Euro - sorry you felt ghastly. I felt very unwell 2 days post ec. I guess the bruised fanjo shananigans arent going to help, but glad you feel better now.

Joy - cant believe you are a week away from cycling, hold on tight sweetheart.

Rabbit - sorry for the crazy cycles. I do agree with everyone else that ivf will bypass this issue. I was talking to my reflexologist about fsh. She is adamant that higher numbers are not a big deal and classes 10 as normal. She recommended a book called inconceivable, although you may already know about it.

sea -so glad you are finishing the antibiotics and hoping you get some good results.

waves to all.

Den - that conversation sounds very awkward, what an odd response to testing and help. For all she knows ivf might not be needed anyway, could be a clomid or thyroid type issue. Such a shame for her dh. There are so many ways to tailor treatment to satisfy individual ethics or concerns or what ever. You are right to stay away as it will just make you feel weirded out if she keeps banging on about it.

53 with a 1 year old, wow! That does give us all hope. Do you think it was donor eggs?

I didn't like the idea of ivf (I still don't) but I'm now at the point where I am so desperate for a baby it's worth it. I spent some time with a friend's baby this week and I felt unbelievably broody afterwards, like a big lump in my heart.

My work has already planned the xmas party. It sounds pretty horrendous and I'm trying to think of a good excuse to get out of it. Every year I think it might be a non drinking one for me if I'm pregnant but it's never happened yet. One small blessing if ivf doesn't work because a sober doo would be unbearable.

art how lovely to hear about the safe arrival of mini art. congratulations!

p.s. no sign of my clinic doctor having filled in the IVF paperwork so we can get cracking. Also no sign of AF, cycle day 43 today trying not to hope but failing

free when did you last POAS?

Shit, just realised that I forgot to add on my last message how thrilled I am by your news art. It is lovely to have such a happy outcome for one of our group, congratulations! I also echo what rabbit said and hope that you get a very content & easy baby who is an extraordinarily good sleeper

free Yikes at AWOL AF. How odd. It must be absolutely messing with your head. Did you ovulate last cycle and do you know when? All very curious...

Conceiving at 50!!!! MrP joke about that happening to us, that we will abandon hope and then it will happen when we are too bloody ancient to want or enjoy it!

Tuesday 20th August euro. Will hold off until next weekend if no AF still. pout I find it really hard to recognise ovulation and my cycles are so long I can't use the the ovulator kits.

How frustrating free that you can't use ovulation as an indicator. Have you had a longer cycle than this before or is this unusually long for you?

euro how interesting about the effect that acupuncture had your periods. I guess it really works! It's also helpful to be able to talk about this stuff here. I keep wanting to tell my husband about it, and he obviously has no interest whatsoever! Hope the weekend is keeping you sufficiently distracted from nail drumming!

sea I've been curious about herbs, but not been able to find a reliable herbalist nearby. I tried kind of doing my own thing following books I'd read for a bit, but gave up in the end as I know the perils of self-diagnosis and self-prescription! Which is why I'm sticking to diet and acupuncture for now. But in future, and if I can find someone who seems good, I'd be willing to give them a go. And doubly hurrah for finishing the antibiotics in that case, and everything crossed for your cytokines being nice and low.

joy I will definitely join you round that bonfire! And conceiving at 50 - amazing! Hopeful, yes, but also, crikey, I hope I don't have to wait that long. I'm not sure I'll be wanting to deal with newborns and toddlers at that age. More power to her, though.

mrsd goodness at your friend who doesn't even want to have any tests done. I can understand why people might not want to have treatment, and certainly used to be fairly strongly against having it myself once upon a time (how times have changed!) but the no testing seems sad, especially for her husband. The infertility might be a sign of a completely different problem, like thyroid, as joy said. As for the other friend conceiving identical twins on honeymoon... they won the fertility lottery!

So sorry, freedom, things sound frustrating at the moment.

Pout he loved it. And haha at BFPs being a bitch to wrap! I'll bear that in mind next time I silly wishful ideas about them.

Been at a food and drink festival today. I was v good and had a healthy (and deliciously authentic) pad thai, fresh apple, carrot and ginger juice, and a little medicinal gin. It's good for the soul, gin.

rum I still have no idea how sticking a few pins in my can have any effect on my menstrual cycle, but somehow it did!

I'm just in from work. I've been in the office the whole day and am (unsurprisingly) shattered now. But mr euro is cooking me a lovely dinner, which I am sure will revive me a bit!

Hi ladies, just needed to talk to someone. I'm 22 and me and my partner have been trying to conceive since November last year. I've been to see my doctor and diagnosed with polycystic ovaries and was referred for bloods, all my bloods are normal and they showed that I ovulate regularly..

Me and my partner have regular unprotected sex, but nothing seems to be happening.. I started taking down and measuring my bbt every month and have tried timing everything around this..

I, beginning to lose hope now.. We are so desperate for a baby, and it seems that everyone else is having Lil babies!! :(

Any advice would be nice?

Baby dust to you all xx

Free ? Sorry to hear about long cycle. It sure messes with you head. Have you POAS yet? Frustrating your doc still hasn?t completed the forms for IVF. Do they have a reason for dragging their feet?

Mrsd - I think you are doing the right things staying away from your friend.

Pout - How are you? Everything okay with your house of insects?! No more bees and wasps in lady garden I hope.

Sar - How are you going? All going well?

Euro ? Boo to working on weekends but seeing as it rained all day?. You didn?t miss much. At least it keeps you mind off 2ww.

Joy ? Yikes at becoming a mum at 50. Good for her though. I really hope none of us have to wait that long?

Rum ? I am a big fan of Chinese herbs. They have helped me through many a difficult illness (way before TTCs) but you do need to persevere as it?s not a quick fix. The best ones are the ones you have to boil but it?s too time consuming so I like the ones that are grounded up into powder that you just put hot water in. For me the medicinal smell and taste makes me feel like it?s doing me good. I have been taking this stuff since I was a kid for all sorts of things. You do need to find a good practitioner to individualise your treatment though and there are many dodgy fake Chinese docs out there in my opinion ( many of them Chinese as well). Pls don?t try to self diagnose as some of these herbs are really powerful. If you are London base I would be able to recommend someone to you. But probably not a good idea to start this when you are about to do IVF. It?s better as a prelude to IVF. Acu is fine though.

Wyge1 ? Welcome to the thread. Sorry you find yourself on here. Coming up to a year can be very frustrating indeed. Maybe you should get your partner to have a SA as it might be nothing to do with you at all. Docs often forget about testing the guy. With regards to PO, I think there might be things you can do diet wise to help the situation. Don?t lose hope? Up to 2 years it?s still very likely that you will get pregnant naturally, it can sometimes just take that bit more time and you do have age on your side. Keep trying. Another thing you can do it maybe use OPKs. Good luck and may your stay here but short for good reason.

Ladies! I decided go to a reflexology session yesterday; it was out of this world. The really frightening thing was that the only 2 areas that hurt like crazy were the areas that corresponded to my uterus and ovaries!?!!? Go figure! Anyway? I was so relaxed that when I came out of the room I forgot where I was! I am seriously considering doing this on a regular basis, not for fertility but just because it was so relaxing. I was in a trance all evening. One question? do you ladies think reflexologists should be tipped? I wasn?t sure? I would never tip an acu but then I would tip after a massage. But aren?t reflexologist more ?qualified? than a massage therapist? Thoughts?