TTC 10+ months part 16

[Buzzybee123]

New thread for the lovely 10+ers.

Well my fanoir seems to be returning to some kind of normality. And I had EWCM today - I said I would have oved on Monday, and it looks like I was right (I only ever get it once briefly, shortly before ov).

The embryologist called and said we have a good quality 2 cell - which is exactly what we had at this stage on cycle 1. It does feel like deja vu. Let's hope we get a better outcome this time.

joy I'm sorry you are having such a tough time of it. When are you starting your next cycle?

Have a killed freddie?

ET is done. It was the first "bad" transfer I have had (3rd IVF transfer and I've also had 2 IUIs). He couldn't get the catheter through my cervix and was poking it for about 5 minutes. Ouchie. There was a bit of bleeding, which I think can affect the transfer. It was only a 4 cell when it should be 6-10 by now, but it was a Grade 1, so very similar to IVF#1 (day 2 transfer of a Grade 1 2 cell embie). Another slow grower.

I think if this one doesn't work I'm going to have to do a short protocol so they can (hopefully) watch several embies and see what they are doing. There seems to be a development ishoo.

Wonderful news, euro! (On both the embie and recovering fanjo fronts!) I hope it all goes well tomorrow & this is really your cycle.

sar you're so right! After the fact this will all just seem a bizarre period in our lives but ultimately won't make any difference to how happy we are with our kids. You're always such a comfort. Good luck with the hypnobirthing!

And gin, you're also right, it does work! I've got to remember that. Love the sound of the home clinic - good work! Hope the pre-eclampsia stays well away.

Huge hugs to you, joy. Infertility is such a total bastard, especially with all it sounds like you've been through. But assholes notwithstanding, we will get our babies. And they'll just have the joy of always being assholes.

Gosh, sea. Your rant was pretty restrained, considering. What on earth is wrong with people, eh?

I spent the weekend with one of my uni best friends. Had a fabulous time (we went clubbing! Felt like we were 22 again, not 32) and got my problems put in perspective a bit. She's as broody as I am but single, so considering going ahead trying to have a baby on her own in a couple years with donor sperm if still no Mr Right in sight by then. Whereas, at least I still have my husband. At the end of the day, we are a good little family, just us two. (Awww.)

That said, I'm currently enraged at him cause he needs to call the fertility clinic to rearrange an appointment & his phone is off so I can't get hold of him. And he has good reason as he's recovering from a night shift, but he's often hard to track down during the work day, and it's both of us in this together, you know? It's not my responsibility to sort everything out. Grrrr.

Yeah, that perspective shift lasted a good 5 minutes I think.

Hope everyone is having a good Monday!

X-post euro, oh no! Sorry to hear it was a bad transfer. Still, it only takes one. And slow and steady wins the race, so everything crossed for you. You're PUPO now! Having the rest of the day off?

euro I'm sorry about the bad transfer. I had 4 cell embies on day 3 that I think made it on to freeze so it may be that this one catches up once it's back in its ancestral home. Sorry it was ouchie, rest up and hang in there. I know the next ten days will be tough.

rum clubbing is an excellent plan! Glad you had a nice time with your pals, you deserve it!

euro I'm sorry that the transfer wasn't as smooth as it could be. Do you think you might be a bit swollen in that area and therefore it was more tricky? Woo hoo for being PUPO!

rum Glad that you had a carefree & fun weekend. I like to lay in bed at outrageously late o'clock and imagine how people with kids would have been wide awake for hours [evil laugh]
Did you get hold of DH?

joy hope you are feeling better about your friend's tactlessness. I actually never was "told" by my cousin. My mum told me eventually.

sarlat I agree with rum that your posts are always so comforting & wise. Thank you for inspiring words about the upcoming FET. How are you feeling? Still feeling sick?

gin I am so sorry that you have been on the receiving end of nosey parkers. Maybe you ought to tell them exactly how long you had been trying, chapter & verse. Bet that would shut them up and they wouldn't be able to get away quick enough!
So sorry also that you have worries over blood flow and pre-eclampsia. It sounds like they are keeping a close eye on things which is good. If the protein urine tests make you feel less worried then I reckon it is money well spent.
Thanks for you wise words about paying for decent ovulation tests (I wish I had listened a month ago!) you are so right about them costing a lot less than a round of IVF and I may have quoted you on that to MrP! I now am the proud owner of some Clearblue digis! I got them off ebay actually from a seller who had written in the blurb how she didn't need them anymore because she had got pregnant the first month of using the Clearblues . She also sent me a spare pregnancy test which was so kind but made me giggle a bit that for "normal" people sex at the "right" times means a pregnancy test might be needed!

Great news on being PUPO Euro but I'm sorry it was stressful. But as is oft said, we don't know what we looked like at day 3 stage. Fingers crossed.

Rum did I say hello again? Mr Nelly drove me mad when it took him 6 months to get 2 SA done. If I had known how time pressured we actually were I would have been rather more insistent.

Rabbit I missed what a hard time you've been having. Big hugs for you.

Hooray for Girls and Boys due on the thread. Talking of which, has Art popped her motherly head in to say hello?

My little nephews are visiting just now. So cute. But one screamed the place down yesterday for an hour. I began to doubt why we were on this journey. Words of wisdom from his parents : "if you do adopt, get one that's at least 3" . They looked tired to say the least.

Better go and do the stuff I've been procrastinating about.

Sorry about the bad transfer Euro. Congratulations on being PUPO!

Nelly - I'm glad you're enjoying your time with your nephews. I think my mom's favorite age was 2-3, she found all the mischief amusing.

Pout - I kind of had a sad smile at the realization that many people just use pee sticks and wham! they get pregnant. I hope the digis work better for you this month, I never did convince Mr. Grouch to buy any of the expensive ones.

Rum - The clubbing sounds rather fun. My Mr. also drove me nuts about his passive approach to getting all the tests done and being organized for appointments, I really had to get on his case to get any of it done.

Gin - I'm glad you're finding comfort in your home clinic. I am trying to live in denial that things might go wrong, especially until I reach viability. You're much braver than I for testing with the protein sticks and blood pressure monitor.

Euro - So sorry to hear about the bad ET. You are PUPO now! I hope the 2WW isn't too awful (although I am sure it is). I am willing this to be the go for you.

Thank you ladies for all your support re a* annoucement. I am feeling much better about it. I definitely think the Humira makes me quite down and getting the news 2 days after the injection didn't really help.

Pout - thanks for the cake. Goodness know I can't have proper cake in real life as I have been put on silly gluten and sugar free diet. I hope the sticks work better for you this month. I second what others have said about using smiley ones. They are horribly expensive but you can get it online for cheaper. When I did IUI the clinic told me those are the only ones to use.

Joy - I think it's hard to have a sense of humour when you have been through such a hard time yourself. It's no wonder we start to withdraw a bit from people. I am sorry going back to the Argy has been so hard. It's perfectly understandable considering what you went through.

Rabbit - hope your hard time is getting better somehow. You are v much missed.

Sorry for the crap personals. Works is very hectic at the mo so have to do a bit more before bed.

Waves to all other lovely 10 plussers.
x

Thanks for the good wishes ladies. I will be daftly busy with work through the 2ww and beyond, so at least I will distracted.

pout I reckon you're spot on. My theory is that everything being thrown threw my cervix and womb out of line because it has always been so easy before.

rum clubbing sounds ace. I used to be quite into it back in the day, but stopped a little earlier than I was ready because mr euro doesn't like it all. I am wistful that I never got to do the Ibiza thing. When I was into it, I never had the money for that!

I have the same issue with having to put a rocket up mr euro to get him to get on with things. It bothers me that I not only have to do the majority of the fertility stuff but that I have to think for both of us. But he is lovely. He bought me some amazing flowers today for being a brave soldier at the painful ET!

critter that's very encouraging - thanks.

I'm still feeling a bit sore and uncomfortable so I am off to bed. Night all.

Well done, Mr Euro! And work distraction sounds a very sensible move. May it be a zen TWW.

pout I also savour the childfree lie-ins as much as possible, thinking smug thoughts. And he was at home when I got back, with a bottle of bubbly and a very nice meal on the go. All was forgiven.

But I know this isn't the last time I'll have to be on his case to do something. He's just like that with some things, and this is clearly one of them. But from what you ladies have said, I see he's not the only one!

nelly, hello! And ha! That's good advice to remember. One of the nice bits about being an auntie is being able to give the exhausting child back at the end of the visit. Counting one's blessings, and all that.

Sorry about the humira making you down, sea. And I've been baking gluten and sugar-free cakes like a beast. I can't live without .

Waves to everyone else!

Euro yay for you being pupo. Sorry for the painful ET. I have everything crossed for you, and its now in the best place for it. I think having a plan for next time helps take the pressure off a bit, but lets hope you dont need it.

Joy agreed its hard to know how much of what we feel is just down to our own pain or what is objectively justifiable, but I agree with you that it only leads to us missing out or being left out. My boundaries if thats the word are not what they used to be if that makes sense. I bet you are someone out of your friendship group who had always been there for people loads and a 'coper' or a trouper who doesnt expect much back. I think sometimes people expect you to carry on coping if thats how youve been in the past. This thing has definitely made me realise how hard I find it to open up whilst Im actually going through something. I find it easier to talk about things retrospectively.

Sea thats unbelievably self absorbed of that person. Glad youre feeling bit better now.

Rum and Euro I love clubbing too. Maybe our next meet up should be out clubbing! Id probably fall asleep by 11 though. Tracy Anderson dance dvds are the closest thing ive come to clubbing lately. Ibiza, now those were the days....

Im sitting having intrallipids hence the ramblings. Had very low day yesterday. My dn was conceived 2 mths after we started trying. Spoke to my dad on Sunday who excitedly told me all about dn about to turn 5 and starting 'the school years'. . Was torturing me yesterday...how on earth did this happen...

cosmos that sounds hard. The feeling that things are passing me by is one of the hardest parts of this. I am similar to you - a coper who finds it easier to talk about things retrospectively. I find I can never talk about the emotional stuff when I am going through it.

I hope the intralipids does the job for you!

Euro ? congrats on being pupo. Really sorry transfer was nasty though , how horribly unpleasant. I don?t understand grading or the number of cells. I presume cells can catch up because otherwise ?poor? quality ones they put back would never take whereas this just doesn?t seem to be the case. I?m glad you are keeping busy for the next few weeks.

Rum ? you did make me laugh with your asshole comments. And hurrah at going clubbing. It?s so nice to do something ?normal? like that and let your hair down. I always have perspective shifts and I find they don?t seem to last all that long!

Nelly ? hope you are enjoying your nephews.

Cos ? i?ve never noticed that before but I find it much easier to open up retrospectively as well. I found it super hard with people knowing we were going through ivf and they were asking for updates. Apart from anything else I almost felt like a burden ? that they had to ask me how it was going out of politeness. But I guess different people want different levels of support. Have you told anyone at all this time? You are spookily right though about me. I?m not a high maintenance friend and and I think this little voyage has just brought out the worst in me and made me super sensitive slash prickly!. I?m so sorry about the really low day yesterday. It would be impossible not to feel like that. You are in the midst of another round of ivf and you get a very poignant reminder about how long you have been living in this parallel world. I?m sure hormones will be partly to blame for how you feel. Try to concentrate on your FETs though. I just feel so much it is your time now.
How are the intrallipids going ? are they quite quick to administer?

I was sent a friend?s scan picture yesterday and felt fine. Well there was a bit of a gulp as I opened the attachment. [another point to add to the etiquette list of how to deal with strugglers ? ?Do not send barrens scan photos]. Thankfully my hormones were balanced otherwise I would have stuck pins in it . 3 good friends are having babies in Jan, Feb and Mar next year. That will be tough i think.

joy the embryologist said that they do see pregnancies from 4 cell embies, but fewer than from 6-10 cellers.

Well done on dealing with the scan pic. I still find my stomach lurches at those. I've had more scans than most people have had hot dinner and still never seen a viable embryo in any of them, let alone anything baby-shaped.

Can i ask for a bit of advice please ladies? I had my transfer yesterday. Today I feel really "off". A bit lightheaded/dizzy, low level nausea, generally crap. I also still feel really quite sore from where the catheter was poking and couldn't get through yesterday. Have any of you IVFers had this? I didn't feel like this after either of my 2 other transfers. I'm not sure if I should be concerned. Maybe I have picked up an infection or something. Maybe my body is just feeling a bit beleaguered from the EC bleed and painful transfer.

BTW, I'm only 4dpEC so way to early for any of the above to be "symptoms".

Euro - I am not an ivf-er yet so I don't really know if your symptoms are "normal" or not. From all the immune stuff I have read I have come across quite a lot of stories about feeling sick or unwell around the time of implantation if you have immune issues. I am a complete novice so I don't want this to concern you at all. I am just horribly influenced by Dr Beer's book these days. Perhaps it is a delayed reaction to the EC bleed? But I think if you are concerned at all you should absolutely get in touch with your clinic and let them know how you are feeling so they can check you out and hopfully put your mind at rest. I hope you feel better soon. Fingered crossed...

Cosmos - Hope the intralilpids went okay. I hear they can be v effective. Are you experiencing any side effects?

Joy - Sorry you had to deal with scan pic. I have never understood why anyone would send these to friends. Why would anyone else be remotely interested? I have always thought this even way before TTCing. Not least before I have never been able to make out anything. It all looks like static to me! . I too have friends due dates pretty much all months next year. It's not easy.

Euro - sorry you aren't feeling great. I don't recall feeling like that after any of my iui's or ivf but I know that feeling as I feel like that fr time to time. You really shouldn't have got an infection from that rough handling but keep an eye out for a temperature or smell I guess. Perhaps you are fighting something though and it could be coincidence that it ties in with ET. That's all I can really suggest. I hope a good night's sleep and you will be better tomorrow . If not perhaps call the clinic tomorrow to see what they suggest.
Sorry to not be much help perhaps another plusser has am idea.

Thanks both.

joy you make a good point about temperature. I have loads of temp data from past cycles. I don't usually bother temping during IVF but if my BBT is out of whack tomorrow morning, that would be a good sign that I need to go to the dr.

Oh euro your poor foof, with all that prodding and bleeding . I felt a bit like you describe after ET of my big bleed EC. For me it heralded the start of the hideous cystitis. After both ECs I was on big antibiotics cos of the bleeds to prevent infection. They didn't give you any? Keep an eye out for a fever and call the clinic if you don't feel better tomorrow.

I know I told you this last time so it's probably feck all use, but ginster was a 3 celler on day 3 and wasn't frozen until day 6. I read somewhere that slow growers tend to be girls, but not sure how scientific this is!

joy I don't understand why people email round scan pics. It can be upsetting for those ttc or who have lost babies, but also poor baby, having its pic passed round whilst in utero. I absolutely haven't done so and only shown people the scan when they've asked, despite some urging me to put it on FB ffs.

sea have you done your next injection yet?

cos hope the intrallipids were ok. ET must be v near now?

rum your cake sounds yummy. Mr G was rubbish with doing stuff relating to ttc/the clinic too. It doesn't help that the clinic puts all the emphasis on the woman even when the problem is with the man

pout someone got preggers 1st month of using ov sticks?! . Does that happen in RL?! Your next cycle will be here before you know it!

Waves and luffs to everyone else.

euro I had a massive cold sore after my transfer, turned out to be a good thing. Maybe your immune system is lowering to allow the little creature to implant? Take it easy and get lots of sleep if you can.

cosmos I am impressed that you manage to do the Tracy Anderson vids, I tried with her a couple of years ago and could not manage the dance moves at all . So sorry you're feeling low - it's really stressful, the build up to an IVF treatment.

sea sorry about the painful humira. The end of that is in sight, at least. You have really been through the mill.

joy I don't understand why your friends are sending you scan pics. Are they missing a sensitivity chip? Grr. Well done for maintaining your cool.

Love to all.

gin thanks for the reminder - that's comforting. :) I'd heard that about slow growers too. Apparently, they think that's why there are more IVF boys than girls - embryologists tend to choose the fast growers to put back as this is thought to be "better".

It was really odd after EC. For the first two collections I was acting like a lunatic afterwards and trying to discharge myself, but I still had my wits about me enough to let the do the sensible things (take blood pressure and make sure I could wee) before I ran away. This time I was completely calm afterwards and happy to sit there, but they discharged me super quick! I only realised in the cab on the way home that no one had taken my blood pressure afterwards (and it is the one time I had had a bleed ). No one mentioned antibiotics to me but I remember that you usually get some down the IV. I do feel that the care was a bit lacking on this occasion, tbh. If we go again, I will probably change clinics as I do feel like I have lost faith in them and I really don't want the dr who did both EC and ET this time round let loose on me again.

I hope it is not the start of a UTI, although I have thought since Friday that the battering that area got, it wouldn't surprise me.

Sorry for being me me me. I have had an overwhelming few days.

Luffs to all.

Euro i second what the others have said about if you start to feel any worse. Youve been through the mill this time and youre not me me me at all. Thats interesting about embryo development rates and gender. And yes it's exactly that feeling of things passing by and being stuck and not having that momentum. And thanks. It's nice just to hear 'yes that is hard', it helps.

Joy yes that feeling of not wanting to be a burden - we're not meant to burden other people, it should be the other way round!! This process definately shows which friendships can cope under strain. I bet you're not being prickly at all just have lowered defence levels for insensitive behaviour which you probably brushed off / didn't notice before. You did well with the scan picture. That sounds like a tough new year coming up.

Hi Gin, ET will probably be next week sometime. I'm going for a scan on Friday to check lining thickness.

Critter, oh yes the first time you try the Tracy Anderson dance DVD it's like 'wtf'!! It probably took me 20 odd goes before I could roughly remember the sequences, and Tracy would probably be less than impressed at my rough approximations of her moves! If I get confused I just jump around a bit and still get sweaty!

Intrallipids went fine, just a bit cold going in, took about 2 hours, no side effects.

Spent the afternoon with a friend over from overseas - one of my favourite people ever. Am basking in the glow of one of those great heart felt catch ups with someone who is brilliant and you love to bits.

Gawd I still have had no time to catch up but there is light at the end of the tunnel in terms of getting a bit of time later in the week to catch up with missed ten plussers.

Euro I am glad you're pupo but sorry to hear you are feeling ropey. I guess there are various scenarios here but I'm hoping you are just totally knackered and in a process of healing swollen bits. Stranger things have happened than having super early symptoms (according to mn conception boards!) but to ward off potential uti do take paracetamol to deaden irritated nerves and drink lots. It is amazing you were able to stay awake but interesting to get insight into how we are probably intensely prodded when under. My ladyparts were entirely black after my op catheter so entirely empathise with the swollen rude bits! I'm hoping beyond hope you really do have a girl in there doing her thing - who knew girls grew slowly, that feels wrong!

Luffs to all of you, loads to all. There is currently a maternity prog just started with 'the highest birth rate in 40 years' being the tag line. Where's my remote?

euro good luck for the 2 week wait. hope you are ok lemon sorry it didn't work out in the end. sweet you are very self controlled with cheeky people's rude comments about none of their business

western doctor has had my ivf insurance application forms for 3 weeks that I need him to fill in for insurance to pay costs. useless. going down there personally soon.
chinese doctor has told me to get more rest
on calendar day 39 here and 10 Euro down in negative pregnancy tests

euro, sorry to hear you're feeling a bit grim. Hopefully it was just due to the tricky EC/ET? How are you feeling today? Changing clinic if future goes at IVF are needed (which, they might not be...) sounds entirely sensible. I'd definitely give them a ring if you're still feeling under the weather today though.

cosmos that sounded tough. What a poignant reminder of the 5 years... But what a lovely catch up with your friend. Hope that glow is still there today. And I hope the intralipids do the trick for you! ET will be soon, by the sounds of things! And re clubbing I didn't quite fall asleep by 11, but I was back at my friend's flat drinking chamomile tea by 1 am.

Ooh boy for the start of the new year, joy. Sending strength in advance. Maybe having a nice, childfree holiday or something booked for March that you could look forward to might help with getting through it?

rabbit I hope you switched that shit off asap. Though I have been known to torture myself with maternity/baby programmes.

Sorry about the BFNs and insurance aggravation, freedom.

I was really hoping for a pre-IVF ironidiff this month. Sigh, apparently not, my period is definitely almost on its way. Still, we've got one more go next month before it could all get going properly, and we're on holiday over shag week, so I might do like a "normal" and assume a holiday + shagging could actually get me knocked up! I mean, who knew sex could get a person pregnant?! Although I could have sworn that intro to IVF session at the clinic might have been a good scared straight programme for our reproductive bits. Especially the bit about surgical retrieval of sperm if he can't perform on the day of ET. My husband crossed his legs a lot at that point.

One of my dearest friends had her first baby about a month ago (same day as Kate & Wills - that was a haaaaaaaaard day). And I've been thrilled for her, but then this week she sent round a happy one month to her baby note, with the whole "everything that seemed important in life pales in comparison to making and taking care of a little person with someone you love" thing. Which, I could have done with being left off that recipient list, you know? Ouch.