Fabulous Fecund Over Forties TTC: fertile,prolific,fruitful and productive. Hand over the bfp's and hand them over now!!

[hopefulgum]

Starting the new thread for you wonderful ladies before I fly off into the sunset.

May this thread bring us the happy news we've all been waiting for.

Grizzer, unfortunately there arrives a moment when you forget about important dates. Out of my 10mc i remember only one due date, because it was the birthday of my DD. It just got impossible to remember. and for the last few i never calculated EDD, thought i will do it when heartbeat was seen but I miscarried before. All what is now left as senisitivity to the issue is that I hate if people say "you can not be a little bit pregnant, you either are or not". Well, out of last 3 years I have spent more than one full 9mo being "a little bit pregnant" only to mc again. One sad date I remember - I first miscarried on Jan 1 2011. All the rest is...vague by now. But I am a particular basket case, I know.

Bless you Jass you must be amazingly strong. Have you any idea why you have had so many mcs? Sorry, I'm sure you will have posted that earlier xx

Oh Green I am so sorry. It just seems so unfair and cruel doesn't it? I know right now you will be devastated so do whatever it takes to nourish yourself and DH.

Grizzer like you I thought those dates would always be fresh in my mind but I have been surprised by the way it becomes less so over time. The first anniversaries of the miscarriage and the due date for my first two miscarriages were difficult. but it has been a long time and now they can pass without me thinking too much about it. The day after Christmas I light a candle for both my lost boys and my other little one( I don't know the sex of my last miscarriage ) because that is when I had the first miscarriage.

I am able to discuss it now without crying but it has taken a long time to get here. I know with my first miscarriage I felt something wasn't right. I spent a lot of time reading about what could go wrong almost as if I had a feeling. I also couldn't see myself having a natural birth which is unusual for me, it was as if my body knew. Having said that, until the loss of symptoms with my second miscarriage I felt terrified but also that it couldn't possibly happen again. I was very angry that it happened again. I know now I won't be taking anything for granted.

Trying for a baby in our forties really isn't for the faint hearted. It is just as well ee are all strong women.

Green I'm so sorry to hear your news, I know there's nothing that can be said to ease the pain you're feeling right now,it's just heartbreaking, but I just wanted to let you know I know how you feel and I'm thinking of you xxx

Sorry I've not posted for a while, I try to read and catch up when I can .
It's been a busy time with DD2's birthday and various Christmas fairs at Brownies,school, church, I've been baking seemingly endless trays of cakes,muffins and cookies. It's also been the first anniversary of my FIL's death this week which was a very sad time,and I've got relatives staying at the moment. I'll do a proper post when things settle down a bit!
I think I'm doing ok, I have my anomaly scan on Dec 12th(I'll be nearly 21 weeks then). I'm feeling some flutters, not as much as I'd like but I know I have an anterior placenta so it's cushioning a lot.I freaked myself out completely last week when I couldn't find the heartbeat on my angel sounds monitor and booked another private scan but all was well on that,so I'm now stepping away from the monitor!
Hi to gum, Diege, Mozza ,Cali, Jass, Isadorable, Morien ,notsoold and everyone else x
Welcome to the new people

Oh and congrats to Shaks !

Green I am so sorry for you... My thoughts and prayers are withyou and dh...xxx

Greenlizard
I'm really sorry for your loss. That must be awful :(

My internet cheapy HPTs have been getting progressively lighter. I'm trying not to obsess and be more zen about this whole process but I'd be feeling much better if they would start to get lighter. I'm not really in a place where I could cope with any more grief so I'm just trying to keep emotionally distant from the whole idea ifyswim.

I'm not spiritual or anything but I do think there would be something really beautiful but also poignant about becoming pregnant following my mother's death. It was the trigger that caused us to decide to ttc (we'd been umming and ahing about number 3 for years). She always said she thought I'd have a third child.

i hope you've got lots of people around to support you and DH - I'm so sorry Green.

shaks - I can imagine it must be really worrying. A tough time to be pregnant. I hope things work out.

Irish glad to hear you're OK though again I can understand you're not feeling secure either. Keep going, you're doing great, especially with so much else on your plate.

Mozza - hope you're OK?

Diege - good to hear you're healing finally.

I can't sleep. I desperately need to but I keep waking up and lying awake during what would be the most beneficial sleeping hours. I'd love to either start AF or get pregnancy symptoms. I feel in limbo all round.

Gum - I hope that the kitchen is finished?
Hi to everyone.

Green - I am so so sorry that you find yourself facing another mc. It's just not fair and so cruel. Thinking of you xx

Still thinking of you Grizzer. And hoping for Shaks that everything will turn out all right. It is just a couple of days, so ICs can do all kind of weird things because the different concentrations and also different amounts of color in tests themselves. They do vary even in the same batch. But i know this sinking feeling of seeing not a stronger line as hoped, but as strong or weaker. if you can, give it 3 days and see how it looks by then. I know it is good advice i wouldnot be taking myself, so ... lets hope tomorrow looks better!

And no, Grizzer, in reality I do not know why i lose my pregnancies. One theory is that I have immune issues, often affecting women w many kids, espescially boys. I have 4, three of them boys. supposedly body acts up if it feels fuether pregnancies will result in bloodshed killing he mother, and the placentas of my kids have never separated well from the uterine wall (I have diffuse adenomyosis as well, meaning that the epitel layer and the muscular layer of the uterus do not have clear border between them. This can be a problem, but not reason for secondary infertility of the absolute kind I seem to be having. Out of 10 some would have attached to places suitable for implantation. Then there is the theory of unfussy uterus - at 43, I still fall preg basically every 2-3 cyclces, which is abnormal. So, it is possible my body is not distinguishing between healthy and unhealthy embryos and tries to implant everything, resulting in chemicals. Unfortunately this does not mean that a good egg would survive - unfussy wombs accept and then reject everything, nobody knows why. The only analysis I have out of order is progesterone in LP - it is below 10 even if I hav ovulated. However, in the case of bfp it rapidly jumps to 50-100, which is OK. I supplement in LP. Apart from that, I get immune suppressors from bfp, but they have not helped, and there is nothing more to try and treat. so, i can either give up and go on contraception or continue and mc. Or maybe not mc, for once. One has to hope.

Yes, Jass, I agree there is always hope. I remember as a child, one of my childhood friends was an only child and his mother tried for another baby for years, she had miscarriage after miscarriage, when he was 17 his mum had a baby girl. No one knows why, it just finally happened. Another childhood friend was one of three and her mum wanted more, she also had a string of miscarriages, then she finally had another baby, then another, both healthy little girls, doted on by the older siblings (there was at least ten years between the last and the new baby girl). Maybe something changed in the women? Perhaps their hormones balanced? Who knows, but they did get their little miracles in the end.

Knowing there are so many good news stories after heartache helps spur me along. Like you, I will not be introducing contraception, even if I decide I can't keep ttc. I will just avoid at fertile times, but I don't see myself doing that.

I had a very productive day yesterday, and fell into bed at about 8:30! Dh finished the painting and then before putting the fridge back we had to clean it. That was a huge job. I can't believe how much dodgy stuff was festering in there!But now it is spotlessly clean, and though I hate cleaning, I love the effect! It was on my list of things to do before Christmas (seeings as the whole of DH's family is coming, close to 20 people), so I am pleased to have that done. Then I spent the afternoon in the garden, moving compost, clearing garden beds, planting new seeds, transplanting plants, watering, digging up potatoes, picking beans and lettuce (all eaten for dinner). I was also very pleased with all that, as the weeds were a bit out of control, and now the garden looks tidier and will be more productive.

I will post some pics onto my profile of the kitchen - it may not seem all that new, and is messy, but the walls used to be yellow, now they are cream and blue, and the cooker is new. Aside from that it is the same cabinets etc, but the lick of paint has made it feel really fresh and new and I am chuffed.

Irish, it is lovely to hear from you. I am amazed that you are nearly 21 weeks. Wow! I hope your mind will be put to rest with the scan, and then you can be excited about your new baby.

isadorable You sound very stressed, poor thing! Any chance you can get a break from it all, even for a few hours? A massage, facial, something like that?

shak I know it's so worrying, but - stop testing, in particular with cheapies! They can vary so much! Today, you are pregnant.

Grizzer I have just had the EDD of my 2nd mc at the end of November, and I have been quite wobbly in the last few weeks. Not helped by a friend having a gorgeous new baby at that time... It's so tough, and all I can hope that - as with every wound - it will eventually scar over. We will always remember the loss, but maybe it will stop hurting so much eventually.

Hello everyone! Quick post before I head to bed, I am after some advice!

I am starting to get worried that my cycles are getting shorter. Over the last 2 years, I have gone from 28-30 day cycles to 25-26 days, and today I started spotting on CD14 (11DPO), which has never happened before.
My luteal phase hovers around 10 days, which is slightly on the short side. Progesterone on CD21 was good, and I am clearly ovulating, but I don't know about my levels late in my cycle... No idea if they are dropping to sub-optimal levels, which will make the cycles shorter.
I'm thinking of starting supplements (on top of the ttc folic acid/vitamins) - I have been taking Vitamin B6, but only at 10mg/day, now considering upping to 50-100mg, as this appears to be the top safe dose that is being used for ttc. Also started reading about Vitex/Agnus Castus... I know that a few of you ladies (waving at gum, jazz...) have experience and much knowledge on these matters and would really appreciate some advice and opinions (feel free to pm me!).

I'm so sorry, green...

Jbrd, as far as taking extra B6, as I understand it, it will work much better idf it is taken as a B-complex, rather than on its own. You know, the shortening cycles may not be an issue. I am no expert, but I read recently that as we get older it is our bodies way of getting as many eggs out there as possible and giving us more opportunities to conceive.

I believe agnus castus is good for regulating cycles, and there are many differing experiences, some women don't like what it does to them, others love it. Personally, I don't feel it makes much of a difference to me, not that I notice anyway, but it has never done me any harm.

My cycles have also gotten shorter over the years. When I was much younger they were very long - 32 days. After my kids, and in my 30's they were about 28 days, now they are about 26, but for me it tends to be that I am ovulating earlier rather than shorter L.P. I have noticed that my LP actual can vary from 12 -14 days (if my estimations and those of Fertility Friend are correct).

Try not to worry too much. Have you tried acupuncture? I believe that it can help, though hasn't made a lot of difference to me, perhaps it has, but I've been doing it so long, I wouldn't know

Must dash, it is dinner time and I must serve up.

Our bodies are amazing and hopeless at the same time! Who would have thought something so natural can also be so hard? (for some of us anyway!) A friend's sister-in-law can only carry a child if she ovulates on a certain side. If it's the other side she mcs! (Drs diagnoses, not hers!)
I am due af on the 16th but am dreaming of getting a bfp and wrapping up the test for dh on Christmas day. Nothing like getting totally carried away is there!? (cheap pressie too)
I am taking my class to our school Christingle service this afternoon. It's so beautiful when 200 children stand in a circle with their candles I'm worried I might start sobbing!!
Feeling quite chilled this month, have dtd every other day since smiley face and didn't tell dh about smiley face because then he feels 'under pressure!' hoping that means all sperm were happy and worry free and we will get lucky this month........ On the plus side, at least my af is due before Christmas so if she shows I can indulge in the vino all over the Christmas period xx

The cleaning before guests is a huge motivator! I remember once I got the mop out and straight away dd asked me 'Who's coming over'!!

jass I don't think anyone has the right to tell you how you should feel! Of course you can be a little pregnant if that's how you feel about it.

So I think I might have been making a mistake with the tests. I tested this morning (I know, I know but I'm a control freak and the lack of control is one thing I hate about the whole process!) and, again, the line was clear but faint after 5 minutes. I fished the old test out of the bin (I disgust myself with the things I touched doing that) - and, yes, line was fainter than before. Then DD called me and I put both down on the lid of the bin. I go back 10 minutes later and, lo and behold, today's test is almost as dark as the control line AND darker than the old test. So maybe my pessimism was misplaced. We shall see!

JBrd - thanks. i'm sure you're right that I'm very over stressed. I've got a sick dp to deal with (man flu!) but also I've taken on some extra work for a very big beauty company that has been eating into my free time. The sleeping problem seems to be related to my dad. I'm exhausted all the time. I will make sure some of the cheque at the end gets spent on pampering me. I can't even think about how long AF is overdue by now. A very lot.

fingers crossed all's well shaks.

Isadorable, it sounds like you are incredibly busy, and with your father ill, I am not surprised you are having trouble sleeping. It doesn't help to be in limbo with your cycle. Do you have time to see a doctor and have some blood tests to help put your mind at rest? A blood test could tell you if you are pregnant (beta hcg) check your hormones (progesterone will tell you if you've ovulated, estrogen will tell you if you are going to ovulate). I know how hard it is to just not know what's going on and maybe a bit of insight through blood tests will help?

Shaks are you still using the internet cheapy tests? Honestly, the colour of the test isn't a great indictor because the dye varies so much, and I don't know that they ever get "dark". But what you have said sounds positive. "For today you are pregnant", hang onto that and try to enjoy it.

AFM, it's CD 9 and the shagging will be regular over the next week, I hope. Some nights it is very hard to get motivated due to tiredness, but I am keeping my eye on the prize and remembering that my time is seriously limited so I must try every month.

Grizzer, I hope the tww is painless for you.At least at this time of year it is busy so time should fly

Hopeful, do not overdo it! Every other day suffices certainly:-)
Shaks, now try to really wait after these positive news for a few days and then the line should appear even faster and be clearly stronger!

I am 4DPO and feeling seriously tired, so if I were a starry-eyed novice at this ttc business i would think it means something. Off to cook for kids coming home now, but even that is an effort.

Ladies apologies for the me, me,me and me again posts while I struggle through this difficult period.

My GP referred me to a gynae consultant at the hospital today to be scanned and discuss next steps. So the scan revealed a pregnancy that was at around 5 weeks, with a very thick uterine lining with a sac and a yolk (the sonographer on Saturday said she couldn't see a yolk) but no embryo and certainly no embryo with heart beat. Given that today I should be at 7 + 5 there should be a heartbeat. So this was expected except the sonographer today said she was unable to rule out a viable pregnancy because everything look great (well great if I was five weeks ). I am really clear about my dates - I showed them my very! very clear FF graph but no they were not having any of it and I found myself in some weird scenario where I was trying to convince them the pregnancy wasn't viable!! . I have been brown spotting since Sunday and when she removed the probe (sorry if TMI) it was covered in brown blood to which she said "lots of people spot during their pregnancies....."

The consultant looked a bit shamefaced when I met with him afterwards (as well as looking about 12 years old) and admitted that it was more than likely that I was about to miscarry but their protocol in such circumstances was that I would need to return in 7days to be rescanned so they could check there has been no growth. If I miscarry in the meantime (& I should be prepared for this) I should phone up and rebook the scan for when I "think" the miscarriage might be over to check if there is any retained products as natural management is only 50% successful in missed miscarriage cases....

WTF!

Ps. Thanks for listening

green, i understand it is hurtful to be made to wait for a week, but try to look at the bright side. - so many docs actually strongly suggest eprc based on one scan. I think caution is a good thong - try reading misdiagnosed miscarriage site and I hope you would understand actually your docs were taking good care of you. They did well to suggest a rescan in a week's time, because imagine you have for some reason ovulated twice, and got pregnant twice in one cycle, the first did not start to grow but the second one did - of course we all know that miracles are rare and I am not suggesting your situation will be better off for waiting, but i get your doc and technician really. I have been there myself and heard these words "it may be a viable 5w pregnancy", knowing i was 8 weeks or something, and similarily to you i hated the wait. But I also found then the misdiagnosed miscarriage board and realised the universe where they double check is better than the universe where they are so damn sure and make errors therefore.....

Oh Green, it is so cruel to have to wait,isn't it? I guess they are just trying to be sure, and as Jass says it is better that they are careful, but I know how horrible it is to have to wait. I don't have any advice, I am sorry, but knowing what I know now, I wish I had waited with my second miscarriage, rather than insist on an erpc straight away. At the time I was desperate to get it over, to start the grieving process and to get on with ttc. But the second erpc caused issues with my period going awol, and also I think, caused scarring, and it may be why I have only conceived once in 26 cycles since then. On the other hand, the erpc is necessary in some situations.
I know the waiting is unbearable, ((hugs))

Don't worry jass, there's no way I'd manage sex every day. I do try for every other day in the run up to ovulation though. Not that it has done me any good so far! I guess it is true that old eggs are crappy, because I am sure I am ovulating month after month and the sperm are in place, and still, no bfp. But I hold onto the idea that there's one good one in there somewhere.

I hope your tiredness is a good sign!

Oh green I really feel for you but like jass I can see the rational behind the hospital wanting to wait and rescan. Having raised that element of doubt now ,at least this way you will be sure one way or another the right decision was made rather than having an ERPC quickly and then maybe wondering in the future if it might have been a viable pregnancy.
All my miscarriages were natural, including the one where I found out at 10 weeks that growth had stopped at 8w6d. I didn't start to miscarry till 12 weeks and those two weeks in limbo waiting for the inevitable were surreal and very difficult but I'd been though natural miscarriage before and even though the risks of infection/complications with medical or surgical management are low, they are still higher than with natural management.
I've not heard the statistic of only 50% success in natural management. I didn't have problems with retained products even with my later miscarriages,though I was rescanned ev 2 weeks to make sure things were settling down. Have you had bloods taken for HCG levels too? That might give you some further idea of what's happening .
I'll still hope and pray for a little miracle for you xxx
p.s. don't worry about "me me me posts" , the lovely thing about this thread is that everyone is so supportive in good times and bad and so many of us know exactly what you're going through.

Hi gum ,crossed posts, I must be a slow typer! Good luck with your eod dtd and fingers crossed for that golden egg for you this cycle !

Good Morning Ladies!

Nothing new here, but as usual I am sat at the computer first thing in the morning so I will drop in and say hello.

DH and I managed SWI last night, so we are on track for "every other day" until after O. It might all go pear shaped this weekend though, which is when I am meant to ovulate as we are going out on Saturday,for lunch, and then DH is kicking on with his work colleagues. They are a bad influence on one another and I am sure DH will get very drunk with them and hopefully won't come home as I don't want to deal with him. So I am guessing Saturday night is a right off. He plays golf all day Sunday, so will probably be knackered by Sunday night. I hope I O before then, but I am only CD 11 and my average is day 15, median day 14 and earliest day 11. So any time between now and Monday is a possibility. I plan to have SWI on Friday night, and then hopefully Sunday, if not, there's always Monday morning.... I guess there will be sperm in place somehow, and that's the important thing. I have ordered some pregnancy tests on ebay, just in case...not the cheapos, I am sick of squinting at those little bastards, I ordered 3 packs of 3 first response tests. Much cheaper than buying them at the supermarket like I usually do.

How is everyone?Any news?

Shaks, how are you feeling? Grizzer, how many DPO? Jass, still feeling tired? Diege, how is Laurie, has the new formula helped with the reflux? Mumalah, ZenofPetals, Calibee, if you are reading, drop in and say hello.

How is everyone feeling about being prepared for Christmas? I am rather anxious. So much to do and so many social and work engagements coming up. Blimey, I wish I could escape it all. Today I am buying a Peppa Pig rocket - it is at the top of DS's list. I've no idea what to buy my older sons, they are in their 20's and just want expensive stuff I can't afford. I think I will handball that Christmas shopping to DH. He doesn't do much at all for Christmas and cannot understand why I get so stressed Well, DH, that would be because I do all the shopping (including for extended family), all the planning, cooking, cleaning, wrapping, decorating etc. FFS, I have just realised what a complete muggins I have been, allowing him to get away with being disengaged from Christmas. He is engaged in all the partying that goes on, but all the hard work is left for me...Why did I let it come to this???? Plus he's getting regular shagging! OMG!