Fabulous Fecund Over Forties TTC: fertile,prolific,fruitful and productive. Hand over the bfp's and hand them over now!!

[hopefulgum]

Starting the new thread for you wonderful ladies before I fly off into the sunset.

May this thread bring us the happy news we've all been waiting for.

Well, one thing I did find very interesting was just how high fertility was for women in their forties in the past in developed countries - I mean the 1950s and 1960s not the 19th century!

Sure, fertility overall was higher but even as a percentage of all births, often over 10 per cent of births were to women aged forty plus. The very low fertility rates of women in their 40s is really something which reached its low in the 1980s. So when the headlines scream about the new trend of 40-plus mums, their reference point is the 1980s and not the 1950s! It's certainly now a new phenomenon!

That's a very good point Shakshuka. When you speak to people, many of them relate a story of a grandmother or great-grandmother who had a baby or two in their 40's. I am a firm believer that the percentages are now low because women in their forties are done with having kids and have usually done something permanent (or their partner has) to end their fertility. However, the statistics we read about - for example, someone of my age has about 1% chance of falling pregnant - how do the statatitians know that? Where is their sample group? Is it based on all women ttc at that age (I don't recall being included in that study)?And only 1% are successful? Or is it that of all the women my age who fall pregnant, only 1% have a THB? I don't think that is the case, as I know the miscarriage rate can be as high as 70% Which leaves 30%, right?Or is the stat based on women who go to IVF? I think it means that every cycle I try I have a 1% chance of falling pregnant - which means that our of 100 cycles, 1 would be a success? That means I have a few more cycles to get through, as since my last miscarriage, it has only been 20

I'd love to hear an explanation of how they come up with the stats. But of course I am all for defying the stats, which are obviously something that is in a constant state of flux anyway .

I have been sick the last couple of days with DS's gastro bug. Quite unpleasant,I must say, but I have survived and feel normalish today, so will probably head to work. It's a case of be careful what you wish for - I have been wanting to lose some weight which seems to have crept back on lately, and having V&D is a great way to shed it quickly I still don't feel much like eating, but I'll try a little something later.

I hope everyone else is well. Diege, how's everything going for you?

I think one way to try to figure out how many women 'could' have children if they wanted is to look at somewhere with a very high fertility rate and low contraceptive use like Niger.

The 40-44 fertility rate there is 115 births per 1,000 women and the 45-49 rate is 45 births per 1,000 women. This means that, in any one year, over 10 percent of women aged 40-44 and nearly 5 per cent of women aged 45-49 will give birth.

And this is still lower than what potentially could be achieved - many 40+ women will be divorced, widowed, have easily treated fertility/health issues etc, using some form of contraceptive as well as the fact that even the most basic fertility treatment will not be available to most women in Niger.

These kind of figures just don't sit well with a one per cent chance per month! It doesn't quite make sense to me. Who told you only one per cent???

And it's all about averages and probabilities. So even if, yes, a one per cent chance is true and means on average 100 cycles, you only need one cycle and it can equally happen on the 1st as on the 100th (assuming that the probability doesn't change from cycle to cycle)!!

I don't do the time to conception or odds of conceiving stats but I'd imagine that they are incredibly hard to estimate for natural conceptions. I think they're based on historical data from the Hutterites who were a religious group with almost universal early marriage and no use of contraception - and who luckily kept very good records of births!

I seem to be posting a lot!

I'm in shock right now - I just got a bfp! The internet cheapies weren't showing anything but I had a feeling so splurged on first response and got a clear second line this morning. I've no idea how far along I am as I stopped taking my birth control on 2nd November but never had a period. Any ideas?

Thank you all so much for your support. I'm feeling really nervous about this pregnancy, I'm not sure why, just a feeling that something must go wrong because we couldn't be that lucky!

Wow! Congratulations, Shakshuka!!!

What lovely news!

congrats, Shakshuka, and good luck for the next 9 months! may it be a boring and uneventful pregnancy!

Wow Shakshuka, that was fast! Congratulations, you lucky, lucky girl. I hope it is smooth sailing for you.

If you stopped birth control on the 2nd November I am guess you ovulated two weeks later. I would take a digital test, with the weeks counter, and that will give you an idea. Also, when you get an early ultrasound it can give you an idea. I always fibbed to my GP about not knowing when I ovulated etc so that I'd get a dating scan (so I could see what was going on early).

Irish, we haven't heard from you in a while. Is all well?

Mozza, how are you?

Good idea hopefulgum I didn't even know that you could find the weeks from a home test! But I stopped at the pharmacy on the way home - and found the test with the weeks. I'm sure it didn't exist when I was last pregnant!

I'll test first thing tomorrow. I have an appointment with an ob/gyn in 3 weeks and I'll ask for a scan but it'll be good to have an idea before then.

Happy thanksgivukkah to those who celebrate either!

Hello! Ben a bit chaotic here with various illnesses for the dcs - currently ds1 and dd3 are both off school poorly, which makes being at home with just a newborn a breeze!
Many congrats shakshuka, that's lovely news , Don't be too worried if your conception indicator test shows odd dates though - they are guide only and are notoriously innacurate as hcg levels rise so variably from one woman to the next. I know I was worried sick with one of my pregnancies when it didn';t change when it 'should' have to the next set of 'weeks pregnant'.
Gum the last few days seems to have been incredibly stressful for you - are you feeling any better now? You are not at all whiney, but have every reason to be so! Dare I ask if the kitchen is done yet?
Ok here. Health visitor came yesterday for L's 6 wk check. He;'s putting on weight ok (50th centile, so a drop from 80th at birth but they're not concerned). He's also been diagnosed with silent reflux as incredible uncomfortable with wind and hiccups throughout the day, so waiting for delivery of fast flow teats to use with reflux milk. He also has a (mild) tongue tie which they have offered to refer for (to be snipped) but he isn't having problems feeding and as that is the only reason they would suggest it's done I have declined. Now I'm worried that I'll miss the 'window' if it does cause problems later on (eg speech) though have be assured it won't....
Other news, scar is now finally healed and dressings removed!
I'll now try and have a quick read through!

Thanks Diege. You must be having a hard time if your ds has reflux (him too, poor baby). I hope the teats and milk work.

The week counter showed 1-2 weeks so it's really early days. But surely I shouldn't be feeling light-headed (which is why I thought I'm pregnant and tested with first result). The line was pretty strong as well. I don't want to get my hopes up if I'm not even 4 weeks!

1-2 weeks is from conception, so from last period you are 3-4 weeks gone, and considering your time off contraception, it seems logical that you get this reading from digi. if you by thi stime have pretty strong line, i would for now stop all testing and call your doc.

How lovely - congratulations Shaks! Yes, you're probably 3-4 weeks as jass says. Hello everyone else!

Thanks for the congrats and advice. I knew you had to add 2 weeks for weeks pregnant but guess I had been hoping for 2-3 or even 3+. One week less of worry...

I have an appointment already with an obgyn for another 3 weeks. The office staff said to just keep that appointment unless something worries me. I think the docs here do ultrasounds routinely in their offices so hopefully we'll have a better idea then.

Yes Shaks, I wouldn't have expected you to be further along as you'd only stopped contraception in early November. A strong line at this stage is great, so try not to worry. For today you are pregnant, and that is a wonderful blessing.

Hello Diege, poor little Laurie, having reflux. I hope the teat and new milk helps. Great news that your scar is healing!And I hope you children are well again soon. Charlie is definitely on the mend now and seems to have regained his appetite which is a good thing. I still don't feel 100%, lacking energy, but I guess I'll be fine soon and I will try not to do to much. The kitchen is still in disarray, but even DH commented that the "slack bastard doing the painting should hurry up and finish" as he can't stand the mess anymore! So I am pretty sure it will be done and dusted by Sunday. I will post a pic when it is finished. I am really happy with the change. It was a sunny yellow before, which I loved at first, but after 13 years I was ready for a change and wanted something lighter and calmer, and I love how it looks with the kitchen tiles.

I have made the decision to not take the clomid after mulling it over yet again. I want to give my body another natural month, and maybe I will get the Christmas present I am wanting this year. If I ovulate around the usual time, I will be due to test around Christmas day. I am crossing everything that I get the best present everBefore then though I will have to muster some energy for SWI. Planning to get onto that ASAP

Well, it is Friday again, gosh it seems to come around quickly every week. It is a fairly busy time at work - reports are due next week, so I am busy trying to finish marking etc. But, it is starting to feel like that crazy Chrissie season with many social engagements coming up, and although it is a bit mad it signals the countdown to our long school break, which I love. Six whole weeks! Actually the perfect time for be to be in the first trimester, get it all over before going back to work in early February...You hear that Universe? It would be the perfect time, so if you wouldn't mind...get that sorted for me!

Congrats Shacks...!!!! That was fast!!!

Gum...I hope you have a good and peaceful weekend !!!

Hello everyone!!!

Shack huge congratulations!!
Gum for now I'm just waiting, as for now if this baby has down, I really would like to keep it.. actually I think whatever he could have I have no way to go through another termination ..Now I am also freaking out that even if he doesn't have down he/she may have issues later in pregnancy because of this huge level if bhcg as I read it maybe associated to mother hypertension, placenta issues and small for gestational age babies..
My bhcg was 8.23 over the median value for normal babies which is really a huge difference
We have stopped discussing with dp but if there are further bad results it will be the hell.
. I've told some friends and my parents and sister..it's good I can load off a little..
And also school keeps me busy..
Waiting for the pictures of your brand new kitchen!
Diege I hope the special formula will work for Laurie!!

Congratulations Shakshuka, brilliant news.
I got a smiley face on weds ov test. Only 11dpo which I think is unusual for me, was 15dpo for last few ov. After 2 really short periods in the last couple of months dr sent me for blood tests for thyroid probs but all came back clear. I have a scan on 14th to check ovaries for cysts but think it might just have been a couple of weird months so hope everything will get back to normal now. Keep dreaming of the scan moment when they turn to me and say 'oh no, there's nothing wrong with your ovaries but you're 3 months pregnant!' ha ha some hope!!
Ah well, let the long obsessive wait for next af begin......

Mozza, I had exactly the same worry, when I had a high bhcg (though I cannot remember how high it was) and after the scan at 17 weeks, finding all was well, I then worried I would have problems later in the pregnancy. But I didn't have any. I didn't get diabetes,high blood pressure, early labour etc,etc. I had really strong braxton hicks contractions from about 16 weeks which were scary, but amounted to nothing (I was diagnosed with an "irritable" uterus) and DS was born 1 day after due date. And he was a good size at 8lb 13.

Well it is the weekend and I have a few things to do today. DS has a birthday party this afternoon, and I will stay there with him. This morning I need to sew a little apron for the birthday girl as a gift, so I had better get organised.

Have a lovely Saturday.

P.S. The festive season just sets me up for failure with a healthy diet. Despite great plans to eat super clean until Christmas day, I just ate two fruit mince pies for breakfast! WTF! I just couldn't stop thinking about how yummy they'd be with a cup of tea. Bugger!

my diet is eat all you want type of diet. I once was very controlling about my size, but managed to overcome diet obsession somehow. have done gluten free and vegan to help with miscarriages, but as it did not, i am not bothering anymore. i really believe my body knows how not to overeat if i do not meass up my brain with diet talk. if i do not say myself i should not eat this or that, i do not crave it. And when i ear, i do it guilt-free at least :-)
have to start making gingerbread dough now. off to scorch the sugar for the syrup!

Some bad news from me I am afraid. I had a scan yesterday at 7wks 2 days and I have had another missed miscarriage. I was so anxious about being pregnant again that I was hyper vigilant about symptoms and had this scan because I stopped feeling so pregnant earlier this week. I am totally gutted. Given the level of continued blood flow to my uterus the sonographer estimated that it may be a couple of weeks before nature would catch up and I would start to miscarry naturally. So it looks like I might need another ERPC.

So sorry to hear that Green. How awful. It's weird how we just know something is wrong. Sending you lots of love.

My friend went for her 18 week check up this week - took the midwife nearly an hour to find the heart beat!! Kept sending my friend out to drink/go to the loo etc. how terrifying. All f

Oops, sent too soon!
All fine now I meant to say.
I would have been due this week if I hadn't mc'd. Do we ever stop remembering dates & milestones?

Oh Green I'm so sorry for you - what sad news to have to receive, though as Grizz has said it is odd how we tend to 'know' when things aren't what we would expect. I had a mmc at 10 weeks and while I tried to ignore it at the time, the lack of symptoms in hindsight was a clear sign. I am thinking of you xxx
Mozz I'm sorry you're having all this anxiety . Again I am another like gum who was worried with high hcg in my (first) pregnancy that created a lot of anxiety, and led to extra scans etc. No problems at all. Your harmony result must be due soon? At least then you will (I am sure) be able to relax a little. If it is 'bad' news (and I use 'bad' knowing it's not the right word) I think your feelings are very admirable and I think I would do the same. Face the fallout with dh when and if it happens xx Having said that, other than the hcg (which is often a red herring) all the signs from the scans etc are extremely good and my hunch is that you'll be fine. I can't believe how stressful this pregnancy has been for you so far though!
Gum I hear you on the diet/xmas dilemma. I do the same as you with your mince pies, but with choc digestives. I just think how nice they would taste with a cup of tea. I suppose the solution is not to buy in first place!
Full of a cold here and ds2 has just thrown up everywhere - think I may have a long night of sick coming up

Green, I'm so sorry .. I just can send you lots of hugs!!
I hope you have a lot of support around you even if it won't make the pain go away..
Thanks gum and diege for your words, this is really a safe place where I find so much support! Weekend days are worst because I've more to time to rumble over possible scenarios.. but worries also go up and down, after a rather "bad" day I'm feeling calmer now and I will definetely have a good sleep..
I also hope to hear news from Irish soon!

Greenlizard......no words. ERPC is a quick way to get over to the other side, I hope it will go as well as possible. How many mc you have had now? is it worth investigating the causes? If you have had 5, only then your chances of this being something more than chromosomal issues become important at our age, so maybe it is still just bad luck..... But right now I know it does not matter, it is just the sadness here and now......