Fabulous Fecund Over Forties TTC: fertile,prolific,fruitful and productive. Hand over the bfp's and hand them over now!!

[hopefulgum]

Starting the new thread for you wonderful ladies before I fly off into the sunset.

May this thread bring us the happy news we've all been waiting for.

Oh isadorable, I am so sorry about your dad - the cancer is aggressive?I had a look back on the thread but couldn't find your post about it, what type of cancer is it? Have they given you an idea of time? I hope the trip isn't too harrowing with a toddler in tow.How long is the flight? And I am really sorry you didn't get a bfp this time.

Wouldn't it be fabulous if we all ended up with a bfp and baby and we could say our thread had 100% success?

Deige, I am sorry your mum is being weird. God knows my mother is also strange in that way. If I call and say,I really need your help with the kids because DH is away and I am sick, her response is, "Oh, I would, but I the cat hasn't been well, and your father can't look after himself etc, etc" It always made me feel that I wasn't important enough and I stopped asking. But really, your mum's excuse about the dog is very funny. You are having a baby FGS, surely the dog will cope overnight with your sister feeding it? How about DH's mum? Or one of your sisters? Honestly, I do wonder about the women of my mother's generation (baby boomers) I know a few and they are quite selfish. I like to think that when my daughter's/sons ask for help with their kids I will try to help as much as possible. I have a colleague at work, who is my mum's age, and is gorgeous. Her daughter lives in the UK and she travels there twice a year to help her daughter out, and is always helping financially etc. I wish she were my mum because she genuinely enjoys her grandchildren, but I don't get that from my mum or DH's mum.

Well, I am pretty happy with my effort this month and now feel I can have a bit of a reprieve! For the first time ever, I think, since starting charting 5 years ago, I have scored "High" on Fertility Friend. I usually get "good". But this time, though we didn't DTD on O day, we did the day after, which obviously gives a higher score on FF. Of course it means nothing, really, just a bit of fun. If I do conceive and have a baby this time, the due date is June 13, and I have always wanted a June baby, so that would be nice...

Hello out there to Calibee, Mumalah, togerseyemum , greenlizard and fireflies, drop in and say hello, let us know how you are?

Gum he has a soft tissue sarcoma - he's having scans to see if it has spread. From there we may get a timescale of sorts. I'd love us to all get babies - who knows? Perhaps we will? I'm annoyed my periods are all over the place but this is a difficult time mentally and physically so I can't be that surprised I suppose. Lots of love to all those pregnant and worrying for whatever reason. The sun is shining and work is being very understanding. I may take dd to feed the ducks, terrapins and carp at the Japanese garden. Her favourite thing.

Hi all,
I've been away for a few days so popping in quickly to check for any news before I tackle a mountain of ironing!
Isadorable so sorry to hear your Dad's sarcoma is inoperable and aggressive, I hope it can be managed and that he's kept as painfree as possible.It must be such a difficult time for you ,I just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you xxx
Jass congratulations!I hope this is a sticky one!
gum I'd love to be bump buddies with you,sounds like chances are good this month.
I have another scan at the EPU tomorrow, it feels like a milestone since my MMC baby died at just under 9 weeks. No bleeding and I feel pregnant so here's hoping.....
BTW if we're recapping ages I'm 45!

Isadorable, so sorry for your dad.

And sorry for all those who have egoistic mothers. I do think is it because they have had relatively easy lives and lots of security that has made them this way? Even my mum, within the old Soviet Union had job security, food and roof were guaranteed even if having anything else was impossible, and that has made them this way? My grandma, who went through Stalin's GULAG and served 9 years in nickel mines, was much more forthcoming if relatives where in need of help, I remember.

I have already promised I will always be there for my kids when they have kids and need helping out! I trust them not to abuse my willingness:-)

Irish, good luck with milestone scan!

I will retest tomorrow (did not today - proud!). If line is to darker than Sat, I know my fate. If is darker, then continue with Prednisolone

jass Yay for your BFP, that's great news! Here's hoping it's a sticky one!

isadorable So sorry to hear about your dad. Family illnesses are awful, and so much more difficult if you're not living in the same country as them. Hope your trip goes well.

Diege Don't get me started on mothers... I have both extremes: my mum, who would lovelovelove to be more involved with DS, but can't be because a) she lives in Switzerland and b) she's just not able to do it physically anymore. I literally cannot leave DS alone with her, she can't keep up with him. It is extremely frustrating. And then there's MIL, who is just not interested in 'getting down and dirty' with her grandchildren - she's been there, done that, thank you very much. FIL is the complete opposite, which is why DS loves him, but is rather uninterested in MIL

gum Isn't it funny how one can get so proud by getting grades from FertilityFriend (an app)?! I am the same - a high score is so satisfactory, it's like school! Wishing baby dust your way...

I'm extremely busy at work, it's mental. We have a big deadline coming up, and everyone is mega-stressed. I barely have energy for anything else at the moment (not helped by the fact that I have drastically upped my fitness regime - started a running programme on top of my gym routine, I'm shattered).

Testing is ongoing - today I had bloods taken for my early-cycle hormone tests. AF arrived like clockwork last week on day 29 post-mc, which makes it very scarily like a normal cycle. My body has bounced back like nothing ever happened...
The nurse who took the blood was surprised that the hospital didn't say to get bloods on CD21 as well - they never mentioned it, but I will phone and ask. It would be so annoying having to wait another month if I did. Had a scan last week, part of the testing.
I have a consultant appointment in November, where everything will be discussed. I'm dreading it...

Chemical here. again. Line gone by today, af not arrived, but obviously imminent....

Jass, I am sorry to hear that. What a difficult road you have traveled in the ttc journey. I know you have to test early because you need to take the pred, but I imagine if you could wait to test it would make things a bit easier. I am so sorry you are going through this. ((hugs))

All going well in "Gum" land. Had a nice temperature jump today, but I do know it is all irrelevant unless I get two pink lines and no AF.

A funny thing happened last night. DS was sleeping with me and it was a very windy night (I have not slept well at all due to the loud storm) and he woke up in the middle of the night and said to me,"mummy, where did my little sister go? You were just holding her in your hands?" I was puzzled, but thought how nice to hear those words: "little sister" from my DS. He's talked about a little sister a bit lately. I hope he is psychic and that I can give him a little sister (or brother) soon. I know he'd be so happy. He was probably just dreaming.

Well, I have slept in a bit because of my terribly night's sleep, so now I must hurry.

Drop in and say hello folks

Oh jass, again, I'm so sorry...

Isadorable so sorry about your dad. I know how hard it is to be in a different country at times like this.

Well, gum, maybe your DS knows something you don't (yet)...fingers crossed!

I'm another that you shouldn't get started on mothers! My DM is the best grandma to my little niece (her only grandchild), who lives close to her. My DSis is a SAHM (albeit a reluctant one, but it makes financial sense), and my DM and stepdad take her DD at least one day a week to give her a break, as well as having her overnight at least once a week so DSis and BIL get a bit of time to themselves. (I was actually a bit worried about DM until my grandma died in July, as when it wasn't my niece it was my grandma, and she never seemed to have any time for herself - she and DSF are on holiday for a month at the moment, well-deserved). I'm a bit because as we live in a different country my DC (once born!) won't benefit as much (and nor will DH& I). Even so, my DSCs love my DM & DSF, as they play with them and get involved, even if they don't see each other regularly. MIL, meanwhile, lives very close to us but is just not interested in her DGCs. I think she misses out hugely, but it makes me sad for my DSCs especially (and for my future DC), when I think of everything I shared with my grandma. What really riles me is that even if she won't do it for her own pleasure, she won't step in to help us, either, even if it must be obvious it's needed - yet the minute she needs help, DH is expected to drop everything and run

Got my monthly check-up with the gynae this afternoon; my scan's not for another 2 weeks though. To my surprise I'm desperate to know the gender.

jass I'm so sorry to hear your news xx
Gum your ds sounds so sweet - all is looking good and I truly hope it's your month xx
Mothers eh, who'd have them I think me and you share the same one gum. I have been pretty poorly since Monday (in bad with bad cold and sinusitis) and it would have really helped to know I could have picked up the phone and she might have helped a little with school run etc, but just didn't have the energy to listen to the excuses . Feeling slightly better today thank goodness! Don't fancy going into labour with sinusitis...
irish really hope all went well at the scan - please update!!!
36 weeks now and have been having a few strong contractions, mainly at night - things are definitely moving down - not too well if I need a cs I hope! Am seeing Mrs Charisma the MW this afternoon - will update if anything interesting to report!
Love to all xxx

Sorry to hear that jass - take care.

Yes, Irish - how did the other scan go?

Diege/Morien - good luck with the apts. Diege - hope you feel better soon.

Thanks for all your kind words about dad. He collapsed on the stairs and mum managed to jump over him, call an ambulance and then stop him sliding down till they came. So he's in hospital for now where they've stabilised things though he cant stand up. This was my nightmare - had been trying to get them to sort a bed downstairs. I am tired and fragile -work are being amazingly kind to me which is a massive help.

Thinking of you and your family isadorable xxx

You must be so worried isadorable, what a nightmare. When do you fly over to the UK? I'm glad work are being sensitive but it must be so hard to deal with. At least your Dad is in safe hands and being looked after in hospital.How is your Mum coping? Love to you and your family xxx

Jass sorry to hear your news xxx

My scan yesterday showed a little wriggling baby with arms,legs and a hearbeat measuring 9w2d, so I have at least passed the 9w benchmark. However the sonographer didn't see the yolksac. The nurse thought it was a mistype on the report and went back to check with her but she hadn't seen it. She said it may be because the placenta is starting to take over and it's just shrinking. It was very clearly on last week's private scan.They said not to worry but I thought I'd ask here if anyone has any views, there's such a wealth of experience on this thread!
Also the sonographer noted an area of "bruising" or a haematoma on the uterine wall, she said possibly from implantation, though it wasn't noted on the scans last week or the week before. It could start to bleed or just reabsorb, they said to try not to worry too much but not to do anything too strenuous. I wondered if it could be anything to do with the aspirin I'm taking but the nurse thought not. I've had no bleeding or spotting so far. Any thoughts?
I'm just booked for my routine scan in three weeks unless I bleed or have problems before, but being the worrier that I am I've booked a private scan for next week!
My normal midwife appointment has come through for next week ,eeek!

Diege , my DH is also suffering from sinusitis and flu like symptoms, but at least he can take medication, poor you having to suffer with it while pregnant and looking after 5 DC! Hope your midwife appointment goes well. Strong Braxton Hicks already!! Did you go early with any of your other DC?

gum I hope your DS's prediction comes true! Seems signs are boding well this month!

JBrd I'm glad testing is underway for you and your cycle is back to normal so quickly. You must be getting very fit with all that training!

Morien does your DH want to know the gender too? My DH has never wanted to know so we've never found out, I thought it would be too hard for me to know and not tell him!

Hi to everyone else

Great news Irish! I had the same thing re: the yolk sac with dd1 12 years ago. Report said it couldn't be seen (was around 10 wks) the mw said it 'must have been seen' but sonographer confirmed not...First time I've thought about it actually, but nothing ever came of it and all well. Placenta does start taking over from 8/9 wks, so may well be what happened in our cases. You are doing so well getting through these early days. When is your scan next week?
Re: previous deliveries, all 5 dcs were born at around 39 weeks (spontaneous). My concern this time is that I go into labour with a low placenta, though Dr. Google confirms I won't start bleeding until 8cm dilated . Can't wait until scan on Tuesday so a decision can be made re: section or natural - I'm ok with stressful situations if I have some idea of a plan - not so good with uncertainties!

Just back from my appointment and all is well. We saw our little baby on the screen too, but as it was just the little scanner in the gynae's office it was actually a bit underwhelming! I got a rap on the knuckles for having put too much weight in this month - 2.8kg instead if there recommended 1.5; I think they attach much more importance to that here than in the UK. I think I've put on about 4kg altogether, and I swear anything that's not the bump is my huge boobs!

We went to pick the DSCs up from school and had an encounter with their mother I'd rather have avoided (she works there), starting with her touching my bump, which I hate (everyone except DH & my DSCs), then asking out of the blue if I'd done the amniocentesis . I was flabbergasted by her nosiness and her rudeness (or maybe I'm just over-sensitive?) but I always find myself on the back foot in that kind of situation, when I'm faced with someone behaving in a way that I just wouldn't (I mean, there are lots of innocuous questions you can ask a pregnant woman; you really don't needs to pry into private things - nobody else has asked about amnio except MIL) so instead of saying politely that it was perhaps none of her business I answered truthfully, ie 'no'. Cue full-on shock, horror, asking my age, telling us we really should have had it done, what were we thinking, did we realise the risks??? I'd collected myself enough by this point to realise that I really didn't want to share with her the fact that an amnio was unnecessary because we'd done the harmony test so I just told her that the situation was under control and we knew exactly what we were doing - and closed the car door. I just hate the way pregnant women become public property - absolutely anyone can tell you what you should be doing

Aargh, sorry about that!

irish yes, DH wants to know the sex as well. Even more than I do, I'd say. He looked like a little boy who didn't get what he wanted for Christmas in the gynae's office this afternoon, when the scan quality wasn't good enough to see the sex! I'm glad your scan went well, BTW - that must be reassuring.

I think you were very restrained morien I'll bet you'll lie awake all night thinking of what you could have said . Great news that appointment went well - weight has never been measured for me - a good thing as I've put on 3 stone but still look quite petite as a slight build. Bump is absolutely massive though, and mw estimates 8ib today (ie. at 36 weeks...) No room left at all (ie, measuring fundal height 40 plus) so who knows how much longer I'll hang on. Trace of protein in urine but that might well be 'contamination' (after effects of canesten pessary ).

Glad to hear so much good news. Diege - I will cross my fingers for you. My dd was predicted 8lbs at 34 weeks. Had to stop work early then she was only 7:6 at birth, five weeks later. Morien - I got weighed and nagged here too. French people had no restraint about saying I was getting too fat (even my neighbours!!) but I put it on fast at the start, then it slowed. Your weight gain sounds fine. Oh and yes people were quite openly telling me to insist on an amnio cos of my age despite my nt being fine and my doc v experienced. Look after yourself - I am sure you're doing great.

Irish - my mum is being so strong. A real warrior, an inspiration. I'll be there in a week with dd who my dad is longing to see.

Good morning ladies, lovely to see lots of action on the thread.

Isadorable, how worrying for you, and frustrating because you are far away. Do you have siblings in the UK who are there for your mum and dad? It will be so nice for your dad to see your DD - I am sure she will be a great comfort to him. ((hugs))

Irish I am so, so, so happy that your scan went well. For me, getting to nine weeks will be a huge hurdle, so I do understand how you feel. I have a good feeling about this one for you.

Morien, I think you were quite restrained, I am not sure I would have been so polite! But these comments usually come when we least expect them and we are not prepared for them. It always amazes me how some people think it is ok to pry just because you are pregnant. Pregnancy does not make a woman public property. And the fact she touched your belly - wow! I would have been very

Deige, if I were in the UK I'd come and give you a hand. It's sad isn't it that our mums can't be more helpful, particularly when you are unwell? You know, when I had my DS, at my 38 week check, my doctor told me my son was "huge" and I worried that I would give birth to a 10 pounder. He was born 40+1 and weighing 8lbs 13. So, big, but not "huge". Unfortunately, I am short and my bump was very big and I had so many comments about my size by all and sundry, it nearly drove me bonkers. At my leaving (work) do I made a little speech and said, "FGS, stop telling me how "huge" I am, I already know! And, no, it isn't twins!" If I had a dollar for every time someone asked if it were twins, then, "are you sure?", I'd be a f*&^ing millionaire!

I always put weight on in the first trimester (so I just look like I ate all the pies rather than pregnant) because eating is the only thing that keeps the nausea at bay.

Well, I am trying to remain neutral about this tww, I keep telling myself that I am too old and it is practically hopeless. However, I had a temperature dip this morning, but that may have been because I woke at 4.30 and couldn't get back to sleep. It is 6 DPO, and on my D.S's chart I had a dip at 5 DPO, so maybe it is implantation? Maybe it is just because I awoke so early, maybe it means nothing at all?

This morning my DS told me he was sad that I couldn't give him a baby sister and wanted to know why. Gosh it was hard to hold it together. I told him that I was getting older and it is difficult to have a baby when you are this old. He said it "wasn't fair", and I agree, but didn't say as much and reminded him how lucky he is to have two older brothers and two older sisters. It is my heart's one true desire to give him a baby sister/brother

Uh oh. Today I have had some distinctive uterine crsmping, different to period pain. So now I am thinking implantation.Bugger. I was going quite well being hopeless!

Oh gum, your little boy - that must have been hard.

Actually I'm regretting having been so restrained! I really wish I'd told her it was none of her business. Even in English I'd have been unprepared but I'd have coped better - the problem is that although I speak French well, if I'm a bit rattled I know I lose any kind of nuance so can come across much more rudely than I mean to, so I tend to hold my tongue (not in my nature!) and then regret it. I don't know - is regretting what you don't say any better than regretting what you do say?

The 'excess weight gain' I just find a bit odd (even if I'm going to ignore it!) as it's literally the only nutritional or even lifestyle advice (other than toxoplasmosis precautions) I've been given (and to put it into context, I've always been a UK10 and I'm now a UK 10 maternity, and in no danger of having to go up a size). Surely a balanced diet, limited alcohol and caffeine, not smoking, doing some exercise, etc etc, are more important than putting on a couple of kilos?

Diege what's fundal height? I know I could google it but I'd rather a real person told me

Ooh, I hadn't seen your last post, gum - maybe hopeless was what was needed! Fingers crossed...

Hi,

Please may I join you? Prambo directed me to this thread – thanks Prambo. I am a 39 soon to be a 40 year old TTC #2 for over 12 months now. I have a DS who is 6 and is the light of my life.

I’ve been diagnosed with secondary infertility and it seems that my only solution is to have IVF. Unfortunately my DH & I cannot afford the IVF just yet. We’ve calculated that we may be able to save for one cycle of IVF by the time I’m almost 42 In the meantime we TTC the natural way. We are both taking normal vitamin supplement and hoping that we will catch the egg.

I’ve had the following tests done and results were normal apart from my day 21 bloods which were a little low.

Had 2 day 21 tests – results were 24 & 26. GP wanted the figures to be over 30 though.
Ultrasound scan – to check my ovaries & womb
Hysterosalpingogram (HSG) – to check my tubes

I am due to see my GP next week to find out whether I can have any more fertility testing done on the NHS. I feel that there is more that can be done before brushing me with the second infertility label. Not sure what tests though!

I’ve only had 2 +ve preg tests. First time was when I was pregnant with my DS who was conceived on my first cycle of trying. And the second when I fell pregnant but ended up miscarrying at 6 weeks of pregnancy.

Anyhow,I just wanted to share my history before getting to know you all ?

gum that does sound very hopeful about the possible implantation pains - the right time and everything. Wouldn't it be lovely for your ds if it was to be your month? (and you of course!!)
morien fundal height is the measurement from top of the pelvic bone to top of uterus (when lying down), often taken with a tape measure by the mw in the UK. Totally unreliable, which so many factors influencing the reading, but they usually expect it to correspond approx. with gestation (so 28cm for 28 weeks). Can vary according to position of baby, height of mum, number of previous babies, but still they insist on doing it!
Welcome London, you'll find lots of great support and friendship here

Thanks Diege

Welcome London,

And yay for good scan news on both sides of the Channel!
Irish, I know nothing about yolk sacs on scan, I had a doc here with my last kids who never said anything negative about scan results, only positives. Apart from the one time when he panicked w my baby being already 3,3kilos at 33 week and threatening me with Caesarian at week 36. I bought plain tickets ASAP and went into native country, where DS arrived at almost 42 weeks, calmly, and naturally,at 4,6 kilos. Now i know doctors here are used to smaller people (and babies) than up north, but really - do a Caesarian on an unsuspecting Nordic baby who had no idea about local weight restrictions:-)

Which brings me to say I really get ou Morien on weight thing. Here as well it seems to be the most important thing about pregnancy - not to gain weight more than 8-10 kilos. I blatantly ignored their advice both times. I have always gained more than 20, and my first 3 kids were a bit more than 3 kilos. last one had huge placenta, and since I suffered horrible cramps and slowly darkening hpt lines with him I now tend to think my uterus of death tried to get rid of him as well, but he held on to his dear life and I am so grateful I have him. Sometimes I look at him and think with horror what if my sad saga had started one kid earlier. And I think his huge placenta was a result of him fighting against my immune system thing to kick him out. My immunologist supports this theory, too. Question is do I get another fighter or not in this life?

I have cold, too. And started to bleed.

Diege thank you for the reassurance re the yolk sac. My next scan is on Wed,so the day after yours. I can understand you feeling you want to make a plan, at least if you know you're having a cs you can set a date and get organized.
gum I like your positive vibes, thank you! I so hope this is your month, I want to be bump buddies! That temp dip and cramping sounds very encouraging.
Isadorable your Mum sounds wonderful but you sound really strong too. I'm sure your parents are looking forward to seeing you and your dd and it will make a big difference having you there.
Morien when I was pregnant with my DS (20 years ago!!) I was weighed at every antenatal appointment but when I was expecting the DDs years later they had stopped doing it. As you say,as long as you're having a healthy lifestyle and diet I'm sure it's fine. As a point of interest, a girl from work (who is very well endowed normally) decided to weigh her breasts when pregnant a few months ago. Apparently she stood on the scales and weighed herself,then her DP supported the weight of the boobies and she subtracted ,not sure quite how scientific or accurate the experiment was, but the weight they came up with was 3kg!!!!!
I think you sounded very controlled and dignified dealing with your DSC's mother, she was very rude and intrusive but I suppose you want to keep things amicable for the sake of the DSC.
Welcome London !
You may be doing so already, but are you taking your temperature to chart your cycle and pinpoint ovulation? The day 21 blood test for progesterone is supposed to be 7 days post ovulation but assumes ovulation was on d 14. For some women it varies, my d21 bloods were actually taken on d23 because I knew exactly when I ovulated ,on d16.
I also had a blood test taken for AMH to check for ovarian reserve before we decided to ttc. It's not available on the NHS but I sent for a kit, brought it to my GP's surgery where the nurse took the blood for me and sent it off. Results were then sent back directly to me. The cost was about £50 I think.
Hi to everyone else x