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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Legs in the air.

339 replies

Writerwannabe83 · 04/07/2013 18:41

Hello ladies Smile

A colleague of mine told me that in order to increase the chance of conception I should lie on my back with my legs up against a wall for half an hour post sex!!

Obviously I know it is silly - but I still did it last night!!! Grin

Also - this is a seriously TMI question but I do need to ask it.

After sex, how much sperm do you find leaks out of you?? Blush

Even after having my legs up for the wall for about 15 minutes I still found there was quite a lot of leakage when I stood up, haha.

I can't believe I'm talking about this!

I guess I just thought that all the sperm would be shot up to where it needed to be???

OP posts:
TeaAndANatter · 11/07/2013 20:08

I'm torn between feeling very much that I agree with every point made about this topic (not the original post, writer!), but also feeling uncomfortable at reading posts suggesting that the whole of the mumsnet community is shocked. I'm not. I disagree with it utterly. I wouldn't dream of doing it for all sorts of reasons both already suggested, and not yet mentioned. I think it's morally abhorrent. But at the same time I feel uncomfortable when we women talk as packs against one of our sisterhood.

I saw a fab woman once talking about women judging other women's choices. I appreciate completely that this poster's choice is one that many of us feel is unjustifiable, but the phrase (and I warn, it's a touch crude) that I heard kept popping into my head: 'what you eat, I don't shit'. I took it to mean that your choices are not my choices, and it's not for me to judge them. It's hard to do that when you read something that feels so much that it will inevitably impact upon an unborn child, but at the same time there are many inspiring, strong single mothers on mumsnet through choice, or partner's death, being left, that manage this on their own. It's pretty fricking far from ideal, but there you go.

Hope this post makes my point clear and inoffensive to all previous posters. Not condoning, but not being the first to launch a flaming pitchfork either.

With love,
x

valiumredhead · 11/07/2013 20:13

Tea-glad you posted that as I'm certainly not shocked or clutching my pearls in horror.

TeaAndANatter · 11/07/2013 20:15

Totally adore this pearl clutching thing. Must remember to use it in everyday life. x

RaRaZ · 11/07/2013 21:19

I'm not shocked in the sense of being naive or thinking no-one would ever do that kind of thing, but I AM shocked in the sense of being disgusted by the behaviour mentioned. To me, it is morally wrong, and I cannot understand the mindset of anyone who thinks it is right. No pearls are being clutched, but I am strongly against what she is doing and I think it is unforgiveable.

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 11/07/2013 22:47

RaRaz : Hubby is definitely willing. In fact I'm off to drag him to the bedroom now, lol Grin. I think we are coming towards the end of my fertile time. However, my plan is to DTD every other day until either my period arrives or we get a BFP Grin

OP posts:
RaRaZ · 11/07/2013 23:43

Enjoy!! Grin Wink

internationallove985 · 12/07/2013 14:16

Razraz. I've shocked the whole of the mumsnet community. I very much doubt it. I could be wildly wrong here but I would imagine the mumsnet community have got better things to worry about than what I am doing.

And the whole top and bottom of it is In a nut shell it is none of your damn business whether my F.W.B knows I am ttc or not. Harsh words but true. I can hear the words "He who is without sin cast the first stone", ringing very loudly in my ears as I post this message. x

internationallove985 · 12/07/2013 14:17

Sorry Razraz should be Raraz. x

TeaAndANatter · 12/07/2013 15:11

Hi RaRaz, I don't disagree with any of what you've said (I'd agree with 90% of it couched in slightly different language actually), but I'm uncomfortable with the way the thread was becoming a court of judgement. It's a tricky balance, because of course the community is a place for debate and dissent, and heated discussion is part of that, but there's a line where it feels like the point has been thoroughly made, and either people are going to hear your valid concerns, or they're going to go their own merry way with that. At that point, I worry that our comments can escalate until it can be (more generally than this thread) a deeply personal war of words in which everyone says things that don't particularly reflect exactly who we are, or what we mean.

Hope this makes some sort of sense, yours in mumsnettery x

PS - Tell you something that shocked the hell out of me while we're at it, I saw an old lady use her walking stick to poke a young man out of her way on to a packed train on the way home. The grin on her face whilst she did it was a bit shocking ;-)
PPS - Can't wait for getting a stick of my own.

IrnBruTheNoo · 12/07/2013 15:47

There are lots of women doing what international is doing, it just isn't spoken of much. I personally couldn't do it, but each to their own.

As for the OP I'd say waving your legs in the air won't make a jot of difference. You can conceive without waving legs in the air.

RaRaZ · 12/07/2013 19:48

If it's none of my (or presumably anyone else's) business, International, why did you bring it up?? No-one asked you to disclose it, though I get your point that it's not up to me to judge what you're doing.

OP (the ACTUAL OP this time - my bad!) - I've just lent a book from the library called Eating for Fertility. It's about a fair bit more than just diet actually, and one of the things it suggests is that to use gravity to your advantage when ttc ie finish with the man either on top of you or behind you doggy-styley, or to stick your legs in the air immediately afterwards. Obviously plenty of people conceive in all manner of positions and some wouldn't entertain the notion of putting their legs in the air afterwards, but I for one am trying what is suggested in the book - I've had enough problems of late without ignoring what could be very sensible advice. Certainly can't do any harm (that I can think of)! Good luck with it!

IrnBruTheNoo · 12/07/2013 20:46

Someone else has already pointed out that you're less likely to end up with a UTI if you use the toilet immediately afterwards. By trying to keep the seminal fluid in by sticking your legs in the air for a set amount of time, you're increasing your chances of catching a UTI.

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 12/07/2013 22:06

I've been sexually active for about 15 years of my life and in all that time I've probably gone for a wee afterwards about 10 times, lol Grin
Never had a UTI yet Grin
So I'm happy to take a miniscule risk of getting a UTI in order to increase my chances of getting pregnant, lol. Grin

RaRaz - I always make sure we finish with hubby on top and I make sure he's pulled in tightly, haha Grin He probably likes to think that I 'like it deep' but really all I'm after is his sperm!!! Grin

OP posts:
internationallove985 · 13/07/2013 18:46

RaRaz. Why did I bring it up? Well that's a valid question I suppose. However I am just as allowed on these threads as those with a "willing" D.P D.H also I feel I am getting at you but that is certainly not my intent, but I am disapointed that you say or words to that effect that I am not deserving to fall pregnant just because I am not with a d.p/d.h. Well I consider myself to be a very good parent to my existing child as I will be to my hopefully future child. Also prior to having my D.D I did suffer a miscarriage did I deserve that because my angel was the product of a O.N.S. No I didn't. In a nut shell what I am trying to say is "My child/ren are as precious to me as yours are to you. xx

RaRaZ · 13/07/2013 21:12

Writer : I love it! Given me a good grin after a very long shift! Grin

International : That's a fair point, and actually I agree - you ARE very much allowed on these threads. I was wondering why you brought up that particular contentious issue when you must've known you'd get some pretty strong opinions on it and when you clearly don't want to hear them, rather than questioning your presence on, or use of, Mumsnet as a whole.

I don't think you're not deserving of falling pg because you are not with a DP/DH; my problem is with the DECEIT rather than the lack of a stable relationship. Out of interest though, did you intend to fall pg from the ONS?

internationallove985 · 13/07/2013 21:24

Yes I did intend to fall pregnant from the O.N.S. xxx

OhBuggerMe · 13/07/2013 21:35

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns.

SupermansBigRedPants · 13/07/2013 22:00

I did the legs above head on the bathroom floor when ttc ds Grin df used to look at me like i was kooky if I did it in bed! We fell within weeks with him but I blame df's super sperm for that seeing as we weren't trying for dd2 and I still fell Hmm

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 14/07/2013 11:23

How did the ONS react to the pregnancy news?

OP posts:
IrnBruTheNoo · 14/07/2013 11:26

Loads of women go out to get pregnant from ONS, especially women who are in their late 30s, or early 40s... International is not alone here....especially when time's of the essence and you've not found the right partner and your biological clock's ticking away. You'd do it with a tree if it got you pregnant, I'm sure. Who wouldn't. Once you're no longer fertile you don't get the choice at all. Think of it on these terms...

It's a bit harsh to be judging, tbh. Until you've been in her position it is not right to cast stones. I personally wouldn't do it, I'd probably adopt or foster children, but each to their own. We all make our own choices and have good reasons for them.

internationallove985 · 14/07/2013 11:47

Hi IronbruTheNoo. Thank you for you kind none judgemental words. xx
Hi Winterwannabe 83. I didn't tell him. xx

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 14/07/2013 12:41

What??????
So he doesn't even know he has a child?
How can you think that is ok? Doesn't your daughter deserve to have a dad?

I don't mean to sound judgemental so apologies if do cause any offence but I just struggle to get my head around all this. Wouldn't you rather have children with a man you want to be with?

You haven't said how old you are, but is the situation with the ONS and now this FWB because you are worried about your age?

OP posts:
internationallove985 · 14/07/2013 12:47

The baby I concieved through the O.N.S ended in a m/c at 6 weeks or if you prefer 4 weeks conception.
And my existing D.D dad doesn't know about her. I had my reasons, and my daughter is fine.. xx

Original poster
Writerwannabe83 · 14/07/2013 12:51

Sorry to hear about the miscarriage Sad

OP posts:
internationallove985 · 14/07/2013 13:08

Thank you. It was a while ago now, but there's not a day goes by when I don't think of her. I know it was a girl I had dream about her when she came and kissed me on the cheek. I instinctivley knew it was her. I woke up with a tear running down my face. I feel like she's with me all the time anyway. xx