The Elderberry Gluckschmerzers who sausage wang between the Sofa of Pity and the Pouffe of Possibility (thread 11)

[Bunnygirlie]

Come and join us elderly TTCers on the Sofa of Pity (SoP), Rug of Rage (RoR), the Pouffe of Possibility (PoP) or the Chaise Lounge of Limbo (CLoL) whilst trying to avoid the BubbleBath of Gloom(BoG)!

The smallprint - Berries have a strict entrance criteria (TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 3+months, NO instadiffers, must have a special pot) and def no mention of baby dust or baby dancing UGH !!! Ooh we are strict...please note your house may be at risk if you do not keep up repayments lol

Boom the 'reference' values from the WHO are printed on the bottom of DPs semen analysis. Not sure what they mean but guessing these are the minimum for 'normal'
Volume= 1.5ml
Ph = >7.2
Total sperm = 39 million
Motility = 40%

Hope this helps!

barking I know - you enjoy munching that Brie right in my face

Oh and I've just noticed that all the hormone tests I had have to be done on cd1-3. I had them on cd9. I asked the GP if they had to be done at a specific time cos I bloody well knew it was cd3 from spending so much time on MN and she said "no,anytime" . So basically all the tests I've had done so far have to be done again. Great.

Hello!

Omg. I want cheese and fertility crackers now and I don't have either in the house damnit!

brod it's really tough isn't it. I do think people are damned if they do and damned if they don't with sensitive folk like me. She was lovely about it really which makes me feel worse for being such a bitch

sid really sorry af got you. I was getting really excited about that temp dip damnit. Not fair. I laughed at the thumbs tho. Cheering in an equally uncreepy way at your G&T + thriller bath. Enjoy. (I'd rather be doing that then trying to get in the shaggathon mood)

happy I can't believe it. This is so unfair that the gp had no clue about what you'd actually need. FFS! Yet another bloody example of us all having to take our own healthcare and fertility in our own hands. I'm guessing you'll be ringing the GP first thing on Monday? They'd be getting both barrels if it were me. Very on your behalf.

boom so comparing your result with happy's reference values, it looks like the volume might be low? But the expert admin lady said they're ok? Would be useful for someone to talk you through them really??!

Sorry only just looking back. Was in such a rage earlier I just posted without reading. Really didn't need a letter like that when I'm already raging with PMT!
Hi Brod nice to see you.
Sorry AF got you Sid thinks she's heading my way as we speak.
Fab news about Janey Frog. The others can't be far behind, guess its baby boom week for the grads!
Boom as Thunder said the volume does seem a bit low (DPs was 2.7 ml) but does that really matter? Surely if he's producing millions of swimmers everything's ok? It only takes one after all!

Haha well maybe given poor happy's experience it's just as well some gimpish 12-year-old GP didn't try and explain anything! Who the hell pays them so much? So sorry you're having to go over old ground happy, it's a load of bum.

I made a general MN enquiry and the nice person who answered agreed with happy, apparently it all looks good apart from the volume, which is ridiculously low. I can confirm that 0.4ml doesn't sound like his average effort however so I think he must have misfired! Of course the stupid doc will probably demand another test from him now... Thanks for that link barking, explained it pretty well - I shall sound moderately articulate at the clinic now

Brod, Thunder, let's face it - the only acceptable thing for instadiffers to do is to abstain from getting knocked up until AFTER we've all managed it. Everything else is just rude.

I might have a nice pate starter, followed by a rare steak with homemade bearnaise sauce, and then a cheeseboard with port for afters tonight! The ultimate berry meal! (apologies to frog!)

Aaaaagh friend's dog has just whelped...does anyone want to talk sense into me before I reserve a black lab bitch which will be ready just as my course ends...?

Maybe you should go with the impulse Boom - sounds irresistible and officially I'm not even a 'dog person'.

Happy Wow that is staggering that gp got it so wrong - but is it worth calling fertility clinic and asking which teats, sorry mean tests will do?

Omg so much to read and I time to catch up!

Still full of lurghy and now have meal with the outlaws, what fun lol

Lol at Boom's misfired! I thought my DPs half a teaspoon was a pretty poor effort but apparently that's above average! Hope you get a clear explanation soon Boom
Think I will ring the FC on Monday and voice my grievances. Even if they'll let me use 2 non consecutive cd21 tests that'll be something as its those that are the big hold up what with me being on hols in August. Fx!

Thank you all for being so lovely, all hugs, flowers and wine gratefully received! Barking, you're so right about the friends pulling you through, they're already kicking in - and it helps to hear that you've been through it and out the other side. He was cheating on me and I found out on Monday, explains all the wierdness over last couple of months. His loss and I think he's feeling it. Just been for a manicure where they plied me with wine and am now on way to Tennessee Williams play with Kim Catrell and then for more drnks!

Goosey the break-over (I read this totally cheesy and lame, but for me at the time helpful book called 'it's called a break-up because it's broken') is starting very nicely

goosey enjoy yourself, you are well rid of someone who would do that. What a knob. I need the number for your manicurist by the way! She sounds fab!!

G&Ts doing the trick; I might actually be able to sleep tonight.

Can't recommend the mooncup highly enough; it's the only saving grace of AF showing up!

Goosey I hates cheats I does! Hope you have a wonderful drunken time tonight and that he's sitting at home on his own (preferably in the dark) feeling crushed under the weight of what a tremendous cock he is.

Have discussed puppy with DH. He's not totally against the idea. But there is only one black bitch so need to make mind up fast, for some reason I'm not so keen on chocolate labs or boy dogs. Although maybe two bitches in one house is a bad idea, would I be better with a boy if I've already got a cranky girl?

Ugh goose what a ratbag!!!!!! Have a fun night!!!!

Ooh boom a puppy :-)

Just spent the evening with DHs family at a birthday do, our nephew and neice are so cute now they are old enough to know who we are.

What a shame we are too ill to try and even make some of our own this month

Sid How far down down the referral line are you?
We went to the GP after 6 months and were sent for tests etc. My local authority and GP were pretty good and I've just started IVF in my 26th cycle since coming off the pill.

But depressing isn't it that it's no longer about Berry BFPs but when's your next FC appt ?!?!?!?

anybody here?!?

CD12 here and haven't DTD since day 9, DH coming down with my lurghy so looks unlikely we will bump nasties anytime soon! FFS what fab timing to be ill grrrrrrr

Right I'm off for some reflexology, maybe she can push something on my feet and make me feel better!

Goosey so glad to hear your friends are suitably stepping up . Sounds like you're going to do so much better without him, and even if it doesn't always feel like that now, one day in the future you'll turn round and realise how lucky you are to have escaped that one and caught a far better fish . I won't go on and on about my ^&£&% of an ex, suffice to say that I can probably empathise with where you are right now, and state very confidently that it won't always be like this and it will* be much better in the future than it ever was before .

I'm here very briefly Bunny but I can't stop - I've had a delightfully lazy morning without dog or DP and am now going to drag my sorry ass onto the computer and attempt to get some uni work done. Someone has lit the light at the end of the tunnel, but it appears to be a tea light and may not shine for long.... Hope the reflexology is good!

And yes, it is a little depressing that we're all sharing news of FC appointments rather than BFPs, but it's nice to be sharing news with others in the same place and better than babies and bumps in RL right now!! I felt bad for not going to the baby shower after work yesterday but I know I made the right decision, I was getting wound up enough by the baby conversation during the day. Tonight it's a birthday meal out for pg-with-twins friend, who texted to say she was having a birthday meal out as it would probably be her last one for a very long time. . She's 3 years older than me though, which does help a tiny little bit on the jealousy scale, and they were trying for a year, but that seems like such a short time to me already! They didn't even get as far as the fertility clinic as they updiffed just before their appointment!!

Ok, I should preview messages before I post, that looks very angry but it wasn't supposed to be in bold, I must have used the * when eliminating the word I wanted to use but couldn't put in print!!

Hi berries old and new
Just popping in to see how everyone's doing.

Loving the new diet advice. Fertility crackers and soft cheese you say. Enjoy it while you can is my take. Nice! Frog glad all's going well for you despite the cheese and wine cravings! Do you hold the trophy for the last berry to diff?

Barking Happy and Pipbin glad to hear things are moving forward for you with FC referrals - feeling like your doing something productive has got to help! Bunny I hope you get your referral soon!

Boom I would lurve a lab of any colour; such lovely dogs so hoping you go for it?!

Goosey sorry to hear your news. Hard and a blow for the TTC efforts but you'll be so much better off in the long run. Take care and be kind to yourself. It doesn't always feel like it but there is more to life than having children and the berries will be here while you wait.

Waves to Boom, Brad, Sid, Foody and everyone else I haven't name checked.

Anyone heard from Cats and Merkin ?

In my news I am now officially infertile. Suspected Premature ovarian failure eventually confirmed after a brief wobble of hope. We're coming to terms with all that this means and looking at our options. I'm on HRT as well as my funny diet and feeling much better in general; there are up days and down days but we're coming to some sort of acceptance.

There's a possibility of trying donor egg IVF but I've also been diagnosed with an unexpected high level of anticardiolipin antibodies which cause increased incidence of miscarriage and pregnancy complications including deep vein thrombosis. Enough to make one hesitate as if the road wasn't hard enough hey? So not all a bed of roses.

Forgive me if I bow out again for now. Hoping you all get your BFP's soon.

Oh cherry so sorry to hear your news! I cannot imagine what you are going through so sending lots of hugs.

I have a friend of a friend who tried for years and years to get pg and failed, she is now the very happy mother of an adopted baby, it wasn't the way she planned but she is now so very happy.

Do pop in and let us know how you are doing, once a berry always a berry!!!

Cherry I'm so sorry, after your brief window of hope as well .
Cats has no bfp as yet but she has been in to tell us about a new teaching job! Not heard from merk recently.

merk merk where are you?!?