Eggcellent Egg Buddies - a thread for those IVFing in June/July/August

[EuroShaggleton]

You don't have to be crazy to be on this thread but it helps

(Ladies, I thought I would jump in and start a non-sweary titled fred. Feel free to turn the air blue now!)

Hi All,

So sorry for being a terrible lurker... Can I come back into the fold?

Tame you continue to be an inspiration. I hope that the bleeding stops soon.

Poor you Expat. I hope you're feeling a bit better today. Sounds like you've had a horrible time of it.

Mejust well done for getting this far and being drug free! [Envy] Not long to go now.

Motor go get them eggs!

Juicy I'm so excited about your test!

Waves to Wish

I'm sure I've missed people. Waves manically.

Thx for sharing the nutrition tips tame, ESP on the decaf thing.

My husband gave up drinking and smoking for 3 months on the consultants orders but it didn't make any difference to sperm so he now has a few at the weekend. We were out yesterday actually and I ended up having a couple of drinks too. It was nice to relax.

Still not sure what to do re friend. We're the type to talk all week at work on email. Do I tell her I'm still upset by what she said (oh is fuming at her) or just try not to talk about the ivf? It will be hard to distance myself from her completely as she's a family friend. Sorry to keep going on about it but could fall asleep last night thinking about it.

Hiya, nooknook! [waves maniacally]

Twinks, can you give us an example of what she actually said?

mejust I had a general so was completely under. I'm hoping I don't have to do it again any time soon, my body just can't cope with medication. If something can make someone ill, I'm guaranteed to be x10 worse. It's so pissing irritating.
I still can't decide on whether to put 1 or 2 back and its stressing me a little. Mr Wish's thoughts are to go with what the professionals think but at the end of the day, the decision lands with us! He thinks that if its safer to put one back then we'll do that cause we should have a few to freeze. I just don't trust the freezing idea, we can loose them in the freezing/thawing process.
I'd love twins which can obviously happen with just one blasto but more likely with two. But then that could turn into quads which i know is rare but its bound to happen to me!!! OH I DUNNO! Arrrggh!

Any opinions?

slaps Nooks hand away No-one and I mean NO-ONE touches my chocolate hobnobs........

She said I should stop thinking about what everyone else is doing and focus on myself, ie, ignore royal baby and the fact my friend is giving birth next month after getting married 18 months after us. She couldnt understand why that would upset me?

And that I was selfish because I wasn't thinking about her situation (and how she'd rather be in mine).

I helped her so much when her fiancé did that to her last year, all I'm asking for is support when I need it the most.

She asks me questions about how I'm feeling then throws my feelings back in my face. Don't ask then if you don't want to her it, surely!

*hear

Twinks if I've learnt one thing on this journey it's that people can surprise you in both good and bad ways. Some of my friends have been hugely supportive and some just don't get it at all. I've had eye rolling, changing the subject, stories about other people being "worse off". I think it's possible to still be close to friends but you just have to be realistic about what the conversation will be. Also people do change and grow and have life experiences which may make them more understanding in the future.

wish quads is rare ,i had a family member put 2 back and got twins everything went fine.Hubby wants 2 put back to give us the best chance as we only doing this once im not too sure but we will see i prob will if we have 2.

nook hi how long till EC?

twink hello

wish I'm sorry but I am going to agree with your DH on this and I wouldnt stress at all- leave the decision with the embryologist. They have seen your embryos development and inderstand the grading. If you have 2 lower graded blastocysts then maybe 2 going back is a good idea but a high graded one, perhaps go with one?? Perhaps mentally you can decide where you 'draw' the line on 1 and go for 2? But I would honestly listen to the embryologist- they KNOW.

twink I really feel for you with this issue And its horrible when somebody makes you feel like that- anxious and like you have to justify yourself. I have felt like that myself with a few things this week. Can you give us more details about what she said and how it made you feel?? I know its a pain but I think we can really help you with this and help you to sort it out. But I really think your response depends on what she said. I'm so sorry its making you so unhappy. Lets solve it together

nooknook you are always in the fold my friend- how are the drugs? where are we in the cycle? and dont wander off again....

We are having a sofa day today. DD is so poorly bless her. She has a sad little puppy face and is really shivery. Its been a week now?? Her throat is still mega sore and her temp is up and down. I shall make some broth!!!

Wish I think it's entirely sensible to only put one back. We put one back the first time and I don't regret it. I don't think it would have helped putting two back in our case. We put two back for the second try and will put two back (if we can!) for this try. My sister had twins from ivf and all went well for her. Quads??? I hadn't even considered it!

twink Iv had no support from friends or family apart from mum no one has asked how i am or anything,they even gave me all their stress and problems and it got to me and i broke down.Then i thought well if they act all concerned later if it works out stuff them i wont want their help or support iv managed just fine thank you.I thought they were being a bit selfish actually but dont let it get to you and look after yourself.

thanks Tame. I'm not coming out from your bosom ever!

Hi Mejust!

I have a scan tomorrow which will be exactly a week of stims. I reckon they'll do ec on Friday or possibly early the next week as it normall takes me a while to get the follicles. My ovaries are hurting a bit which I'm taking as a good sign.

mejust how exciting! No more jabs woohoo!! What time is EC tm? Good luck if I do not speak with you before hand.

twinkes I agree with nooks (how are you btw). I would stay away from her during cycling/difficult periods. If she keeps emailing, I'd be straight and say - things are a bit difficult for me right now and your comment affected me. I need a bit of time to deal with stuff. A true friend won't be othered by this.

juicy bloods are looking good.how are you coping with the suspense?

wish tuesday? And great looking embies too! I babysat twins last night, dropped them off this morning. i spend a lot of time with these two (18 months) and although they are not mine, I think they are easier to look after to be honest. So go for 2.

tame glad its managable now. Ad that you are planning for the future. Please send someone else shopping for the GF stuff though... You're shopping technique is already pricey!

motor euro good luck with the EC's and ET's (call home).

Sorry if i've missed anyone this a busy hive of activity at present!

nook not long then good luck for your scan tomorrow.

Thanks life Ec 9am ,have you heard from hospital today or do you have bloods today?

twink cross post!!! I had a visitor in between typing!

Well, I think my response would be a huge letter/e-mail stating your feelings and how what she has said has made you feel THEN she cannot butt in telling you how you should feel and how bad she feels. She just needs to read and take it on board. And if she doesn't, you have your answer.

It doesnt have to be nasty, confrontational, you can include how much you value the friendship and want her to be supportive of you etc. Try to encourage her to support you.

Here are a few choice phrases I would throw in;

'I really value your friendship and I feel that after all we have been through together, I don't want to fall out but I need your support. I need you to understand how much this means to me and how sensitive I feel- I need you to be on my side and support me like I have supported you'

'I know you think it is silly that I feel sad about other people having babies but please understand- this is a really emotional time for me and seeing other people with the thing I desire most is really hurting me inside. And it is hurting me that you don't understand and that you dont offer support'

'It hurts that you think I am being selfish. I have supported you when you have needed me. I need you to do the same now, without judgement and with the same care I offered you when you needed me'

What do you think? How do you think she will respond?

If you do want to do that, I am happy to proof read xxxx

fish I know!! My food shopping is pissing ridiculous!! Although DH has said that he and DD might as well go gluten free/reduced gluten as well to save buying 2 of everything. Although DD loves a big white ham batch with her packed lunch so I think she will have to stick with that

Thx everyone. I think I will just distance myself from friend. Have spoken with OH about it and he agrees.

Tame - I posted up thread.

Thanks all, really helps to have you all to talk to x

BUT I also agree with fish and nook- if her response isnt the desired one, avoid her whilst cycling and tell her that is what you are doing.

A good friend would understand xxx

twink we keep crossing posts!!

Keep talking to us though- we understand even if RL friends dont x

I am so bloated my belly button has swollen, my nipples sting, my boobs are heavy and robust, I've got the horn big time but cannot shag as tits and ovaries hurt. Personally I'd still try but I think DH thinks I might break. .

Gave bloods this morning, due a call anytime from now. Have another scan and bloods tm. Nurse today was very reassuring and said that this coasting is a precaution, the E2 should drop in line with my FSH (this has already dropped), but they need to ensure it reduces steadily as it can drop completely and reverse the quality of the eggs. I've explained that poorly I think.

She reckons the E2 should definitely come down and EC should be wed/ thur.

I've gone back to neutral, DH didn't sleep last night due to worry, which is fine as he fell asleep 5 mins after yesterdays bad news. I told him to go to bed before I started screaming at him for sleeping while I was in turmoil!

Speaking of him he has been great to be honest, but I think reading the zita west book prepared him for all this. Only problem is that he is a tad evangelical about my drinking water/ staying positive and taking it easy. Which pisses me off at times.

Thank you all for your reassurance. Tame, euro, mejust and juicy you've actually helped me to trust my clinic and be grateful and relieved hat they are paying such close attention to me.

Tame thanks for email that sounds exactly how I feel and put in a succinct way.

twink I'd be more blunt than tame, so that I didn't get a lengthy reply (are you cycling? If not I would send a longer thing)

My issue is my mum (narc parent). I sent her a text which was pretty much: I cannot cope with your lack of support right now, until things get easier I'll stay away.

Its a shame for my lovely dad, but I wanted to ensure I didn't get the: you are over dramatic, too sensitive, I only meant to help etc bollocks. I didn't want to enter discussion, just wanted to ensure she kept the fuck away from me right now.

My DH has seen her and gives her minor updates and I know I sound harsh but there is a huge backstory.

Thx fish.

I'm going to withdraw and do my own thing. If she keeps emailing or asking what's up then I will tell her why.

I should have listened to my OH and not told anyone!

tortie 11 weeks? Bloody hell (quite literally). I bled for 2 weeks but my period came after 4 (hence the need for the spatone - I was surprised I had any blood left at all by that point). My body got back on track very quickly. I hope you are doing ok.

Thanks for all the good wishes. I'm back home. Fuck me that was traumatic. They did at least get me in and out quickly this time. They had the self discharge form ready for me...

They gave me something different to bring me round to see if I would be less panicky and liable to run away. It was awful. It had me in floods of tears. I felt like the world was going to end although I had no idea why. I prefer the anxiety. And last time there was no pain afterwards. This time I feel like I've been been kicked by a particularly vicious donkey. I'm now at home one the sofa with a blanket and hot water bottle feeling somewhat sorry for myself.

There was one (with hindsight) funny moment. Last time, as I was being put under the nurse was strapping my legs into the stirrups, so it was the last thing I saw. I had flashbacks for a week afterwards. This time as she started doing it, my heartrate went MENTAL. All of the medical staff started looking panicked, and I ended up reassuring them that it was ok. I said it was the straps, explained what happened last time and asked them to just please knock me out and get on with it, asap. They did.

He got 4 eggs, all from the right side. The left is difficult to reach apparently. I'm a bit miffed because there were follies there at the last scan and he retrieved from the left last time. I don't know if they are mature yet. Presumably they will call later.

me I hope this doesn't scare you. Most of it relates to my ishoos rather than the process itself.

joos friends of mine have a similar spider/rodent divide. Mr euro gets stuck with it all. I do the banking.

As for breakfast, I have a bacon and fried egg sarnie on order with mr e. :)

fish Everything i going to be ok. Try and stay neutral about it all. I'm not going to tell you to stay positive cause every time someone told me to I just wanted to rip off their nails and give them a homemade vajazzle!

There are lots of EC's this week! Eeek!

Oh Euro that sounds horrible! The knocked me out completely in a different room so I didn't see any stirrups at all. That would completely freak me out too. Why would they do that? I'd start to think about Hannibal Lecter coming in to eat my eggs. Ok... I'm starting to set my mental state free... sorry...

Mr Wish is insisting on one going back so I guess that's it unless they tell us different.