We will try anything! The big fat posifrickintivity thread of TTC after MC

[GuffSmuggler]

A new thread for all you lovely, crazy ladies. Here's to lots of BFPs!

kata DH and I have talked about assisted reproduction but decided against it because of the cost. But we have already have one child so the situation is completely different. We never expected this to be so hard because we got our first within 3 months of trying without any knowledge of cycle.

However from the mums I have met when I was on maternity, I know two who have IVF babies, and another two with some sorts of assisted ovulation drugs. Two of them are now mums of 2. And another due her second in August. I know this is a biased happy ending with IVF or clomid, given I met them at mums groups. But I hope you also get a happy ending with it.

Thanks all, still a bit down in the dumps but we are just going to see how things go - we won't be 'trying' but won't be trying to stop it either I think, I know when I ovulate and usually don't have a problem being in the mood then! We will just have to see, have over a week till we have to think about it anyway. Will try not to use the OPK sticks and just will talk about it with DH when I know I might be fertile, we can decide then. He is positive about getting something, we are just looking at it as time for him to spend time with DD and get some jobs around the house done, I am on holidays in 5 weeks so part of me wants him to be not working until then at least as it would be great to spend time together, even though we can't have a holiday! Would worry too much though that he might not get something then though.

Missp sorry you are feeling down too, it is so difficult all this, it's a rollercoaster - I hated TTC last time and am hating it now too, I don't know anyone who can just relax and let it happen. I do think hormones don't help, just when you don't need to be more emotional is when it is worst!

To those considering that monitor thing - what make it better than the cheapie sticks - I got pregnant last time on those and have always had a positive stick when I expected, also use pink pad, an app for android, which tracks my cycle, seems to be accurate.

if AF doesn't arrive (it will, i need to prepare myself for that) I WILL wait until friday to POAS - although AF is due tomorrow according to my normal cycle if I believe the ov sticks I'm not 14 dpo until around thu/fri. I don't believe them, but it gives me a reason to hold off and not risk a BFN. Of course if I don't get AF until friday I will be getting more and more excited and even more disappointed if it's then a BFN.
Also it's in the rules and i like rules.
plus i don't have any sticks in the house to pee on, otherwise i would POAS tomorrow

kata that sounds like an excellent plan - and excellent positivity too. I have no experience with ART though so I can't help you, sorry. I think that i'd be looking at a similar path if i was in your situation. the possibility of another 3 years (of course that won't happen!) would be daunting.

oh missP that's a pity about the spotting. Rubbish! And you are allowed to feel down so don't apologise

Flohs - I think I was a bit paranoid that I hadn't got pg again straight after the MC as I had read so many examples of that happening to people. However, I'm glad I didn't now as I think I needed the time to just get my head around everything. My AF is still being a bitch...much more painful and heavy than usual, but weirdly, I get dull pains when I ovulate now too which I never noticed before the PG.

alyant & Guff - keeping my fingers crossed for both of you.

The 2ww is so annoying. It feels a bit like some sort of Bingo game...statistically, someone here should hit the jackpot this month - secretly hoping it might be yourself but thrilled for anyone else who 'wins'. "Baby Bingo".

MissP - Booooo, hisss! to AF symptoms.

Kat - not there yet myself but certainly not ruling it out in the future, the sooner the better I say, any money trying will be well spent, especially if you've tried for over 3 years already. I was reading about having eggs frozen as well - loads of people seem to be doing it now.

hello, can I join too please? Had a MMC in March, just a couple of days before my scan day I started spotting. Been trying ever since. I am a little loopy, imagining symptoms left right and centre and doing pregnancy tests AFTER my period on the off chance it was a heavy implantation bleed (yes i know i'm mad). After tears shed every month on the arrival of AF, I'm attempting to be positive and somehow look forward to trying each month - maybe this month is the one!

hi fedup sorry that you're here but you'll fit right in with loopy symptom spotting

AF not here yet........ despite my confidence last night i'm now not sure that i can hold out until POAS friday..... ladies, give me strength!
as well as the cardinal sin of breaking the thread rules, i terrified that i'll be tempting fate by buying a test and AF will start immediately!
But if i do a test and it's bfn then i can get mentally prepared for AF to start....

Welcome Fedup my MMC was April - it's awful getting AF each month but I'm trying to see it as a positive - at least I know my body is recovered from the miscarriage and hopefully it'll be able to carry to term next time.

Aly test tomorrow, it's worth the fish slap if its BFP and if not then ban any peeing on things until the weekend :)

Thanks Alyant

Oh I'm the queen on POAS - sometimes a week early, even when I know it will be negative. this month I POAS on 4 days before AF was due, and then on due day and then when AF was 4 days late. 5 mins after POAS on the last day, AF arrived 4 days late - typical.

I'm hoping the rules on this thread will curb my POAS addiction.

Hold off if you can... you can do it. You are lucky you don't have any in the house and please don't go and get any til tomorrow! I've taken to hiding them deep in the bin from OH as he thinks I'm mad (which isn't untrue) and i feel sick when I think about the expense!

Here's hoping AG doesn't arrive for you

• AF rather, not AG!

Thanks guys, i'm still teetering on the edge.
have gone through the pros and cons with DH and he thinks i should poas tomorrow since he'll be away thu/fri so better to get a bad result now while he's still home to give me a hug. Valid point.
But i'm super busy at work today (as you can tell by my complete absence from here ) so it all hangs on whether or not I get time to go to Boots....

hehe loving fedup hiding the evidence of rampant POASing from DH

damn. bit of spotting.
lucky i haven't bought a pee stick

Hello ladies - so I was supposed to be going away for the night with DH tonight, train and hotel booked - however he is now not going to be there and be at home instead! So much for a naughty and decadent night away!

Luckily had positive for OV on saturday, so we have dtd every day since - should I fit in one more tonight???? Eek, will try! And now begins the 2 WW.

aly still keeping fingers crossed!
Hello newbies - sorry you're here!

I agree with above about POAS early - I've done it so many times and totally messes your head up - I don't like having hope, or thinking there is still a possibility! When are you due Aly?

Why is it that before my 2 mcs I fell pregnant so easily and now all I can think is that it will never happen again - and I don't know how to get pregnant - even though I've been pregnant 3 times! I'm now stressed that because we've been DTD in the morning, I haven't stayed horizontal for long enough after the deed .... read somewhere that you should stay horizontal (or legs up in the air) for 20 mins after - agghhh - instead I've got up and got on with day .... seriously I'm driving myself bonkers!!!

Aly - irritating on the spotting front but it's not over till she arrives properly!

Sundance - I do keep trying to think that about getting pregnant too soon.
You are so right. Everything happens for a reason....

Emki - there are so many things you should and shouldn't do! It gets v confusing. But people have got pregnant without sticking their legs over their head, so I'm sure you are fine.

Fed up - even though I'm a reformed POAS obsessive (sort of) I always had to hide evidence. He once caught me smashing open a cb digital to see what it looked like on the inside after i had a 'not pregnant' he looked totally baffled by his insane wife!

My spotting turned into proper AF overnight. Relieved really. Think I dealt with not being up duff on Saturday and just wanted to get on the next cycle.

Oh no alyant but keep positive it's not over until AF turns up properly.

What a shame emki but I think I might have gone for the night in the hotel anyway for a bit of me time! Sounds like you've put in a good DTD effort, not sure I'd bother tonight, an egg can't live that long can it??

I'm getting horrendously stressed, we have got some house buying issues and combined with being in the 2WW just feels like a big pressure cooker. Desperately trying to keep calm and RELAX....

xpost flohs I too have hidden tests from DH! I like the idea of smashing up the test if you get a BFN!!!

Made a big decision yesterday, got so low when AF appeared last week that I feel I need a break from TTC. Been trying for 3 years now with just a MC at the end of 2011 and the reality of a 40th birthday to show for it.

I have a holiday coming up which I don't want AF making an appearance on, so have dug out the last, illicit pack of my combined pills, am going to take the last few months I have of them, take the pressure off as, if I know in advance I won't be expecting a BFP, there's none of the disappointment.

Hope my rambling makes sense, good luck to everyone on here, and I'll be back, in a more positive frame of mind, in a few months time.

Hi flohs. Sorry your here but from your posts you will fit in nicely. Loving the endless poas and hiding them from DH

We are all a little mad here that's what our experiences have done to us.

Well still spotting (only when wipe) sometime nothing. AF was due today do any minute now. Felt like throwing the towel in today. Have decided a dec deadline if not pregnant then I am going to enjoy my life with DP and DD as it is. Feel better for a deadline.

alyant. Big poo to spotting had high hopes for you this month. Maybe implantation.

Good work emki you might as well fit another one in if you can manage it

hooble enjoy your holiday and time out. See you back here when you feel is right time. It's a rollercoaster that we all need time off every now and again.

Hope everyone else doing well.

Welcome fedup, I hope that the rules here can save you a bit of money on sticks! And that you can follow them, I'm going to have to do another trip to the fishmongers to stock up at this rate

Don't give in to the urge aly! Be strong! not that I would be able to resist

Sorry to hear that you are leaving us for a while hooble but it sounds like the right decision, hope you can relax on holiday without the TTC stress.

flohs, I love the idea of smashing up a cb digital, now you have got me curious - what was inside it?

A bit of crap news for me today, I went for what I hoped was my final blood test and my hormone levels were 14. Previously they said they wanted them to be below 20, but today they said they really want them to be below 10. So i have to go back for another sodding test next week.

I just want a BFN so we can start trying again. I had planned to celebrate tonight with a bottle of champagne and and our first proper DTD session since the MC. Guess it will have to go on ice for another week.

But I've decided to poas on Friday. If that is negative, I reckon we might just go for it anyway!

fedup sorry called you Flohs got confused. Welcome.

what?!? penguin that's outrageous they can't just change the rules of the game on you like that. Boo to them! I would poas friday if i were you too and fx for a bfn.

maybe implantation missp for you and me? but i'm not getting my hopes up. They were foolishly high all morning and I was SOOO nervous every time I went to the toilet that it was ridiculous. Now that I had that little bit of spotting ironically i feel much more sensible. If it is AF there's nothing i can do about it (and i will order a bbt and ov sticks immediately) and if i keep spotting then i'll POAS on friday.
I had really really hoped to be pg this month, but as my DH said it takes time to make a perfect baby, you can't just expect to pop out perfection immediately. This was nice of him to say except that we popped DD out immediately so does that mean she's not perfect???

oh emki i know exactly how you feel. I too have that "never again" fear.

guff i hope the house buying/selling goes as smoothly as possible, you don't need more stress right now.

hooble good luck relaxing over the next few months it sounds like you need it. Hopefully i won't be here when you're back but chances are i will be.....

alyant AF has arrived here still fingers crossed for you. That was lovely of DH. Bless him. And of course your DD is perfect its just she has set the bar so high. Xx

I had a very giggly toddler at bed time tonight that made everything ok.

Aly still keeping fingers crossed for you

Boo to AF for missp

Really am not going to manage DTD tonight, got in very late from wk - far too shattered and well not really any point ... apart from the fact I will be lying down (asleep) for hours after DTD.

Aly your DH knows just what to say - how lovely - we must all remember this!!! This will be my mantra - as well as eating truck loads of pineapple, applying conceive plus, putting legs in the air - following DH around the country when it time to DTD ..... what else...?? Ooh haven't tried the BBT or CBFM ....

So 2 ww wait for me now -got to not think about it!!! Also on the 28th June will be a whole year since I mc - went in for 20 wk scan and no heart beat - can't believe its been a year already. The day may be marked with arrival of AF ..... that would be really rubbish - but I will definitely do something to mark the day - maybe donate to a children's charity - Anyway - wishing you all a happy Wednesday.

That is rubbish Penguinita sorry it's taking so long for you. I would keep POAS until you get a BFN and then you can start! Sounds like they are just being overly cautious.

missp sorry the evil witch has got you

emki that is going to be a hard anniversary coming up for you, I'm sure it still feels so raw. Hopefully a BFP will come for you otherwise marking it in some other way would be nice.

Nothing much going on here, trying to get on with life like a normal person and not obsess over whether I might be PG or not.... (and failing!)

I caved in and went a bought a first response test. sat in the toilets in the shops and did it...
BFN of course
i even waited for 10 min and squinted and squinted at it but i couldn't even begin to pretend to myself that there was a line there.

FISH SLAPS PLEASE!!!

Since I am now officially 1/2 days late it's not just a false negative from testing too early.
AF can hurry up now please so that I can get on with the next go.