We laugh in the face of OPKS and stomp on our thermometers! Don your customised shag capes, ladies; it's Just Shagging Thread 15

[Bearface]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
   
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
   
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
   
4. Thou shalt share and with your fredmates where needed.
   

JSing lingo;

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce in other posters).

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

The link to Part 14 is here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1674505-Out-with-the-OPKs-ban-the-body-temping-heres-Just-Shagging-thread-14

The link to the latest grads thread is here:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1699553-Shagged-Out-Viroids-7th-Thread-From-conception-to-birth-living-proof-that-JSing-really-does-work

Happy shagging shaggers!

[coffeewineandchocolate]

A gentle hooya to you but I may also need one back.... I seem to have misplaced my ertd but despite testing 6 Times today it's negative.

maybe relax the pressure rockchick and see this as a practice month? see anything as a bonus rather than a disappointment?

[lil1ady]

Hooya's all round it seems. coffee leave it a couple of days and test with fmu if ertd still a no show...fx for you!

rock cd16 Is early even if u ovd on cd9 but fx its all good signs. try and relax and avoid symptom spotting! easier said than done I know!

[DulcetMoans]

Gah! My confidence tactic has disappeared and now I am convincing myself I'm not and its all upsetting. And I am annoyed at myself for not DTD yesterday. But I was tired! Bloody knackered today! Lol.

Ladies tempted by sticks, step away! If you do it now you will still be unsure of the result. If you wait until the right day then you can be a bit more certain. Of course if only it was as simple as that...!

[Minion]

Big Monday hooyas dished out from minion.
I'm into my 2ww now so just waiting and waiting to see if the shiny new shag cape has achieved its desired effect.
Thankfully this month I don't seem to be getting the constant 2 weeks worth of cramping and back ache after OV'ing so hopefully that was just the pill buggering out of my system, finger s crossed and I can't wait to see if we have any synchro pee action this month?

[coffeewineandchocolate]

thanks lil, I shall leave it until Wednesday or Thursday I think and get a digital test. it's annoying because if I'm not in concerned that I'm not ovulating properly or something. it also means that next month is out as dh planned working away around my cycle being on time grrr

[flowerandrandd]

hello ladies can i join? I have ttc number 3 for a week no idea when i ovulate etc and dh definitely doesnt want me to get on that merry go round again!

dd1 took 2.5 years after ectopic pregnancy robbed me of a tube and suffered 7 miscarriages altho my philosophy is that it was dd1 just not ready no come
dd2 breast feeding dd1 (6 months at the time) thought sod it at a wedding, 5 days later implantation bleed

so here we are after 4 years of having the best contraception i.e, dd2 who never sleeps sits still is far too clever, my dh has granted me 6 months to try for my longed for 3rd!

so we tried on day 18 after no signs of ovulation, i think some months i just done, now day 22 and have raging sore boobs, and cramps under belly button and pain in ovary but no implantation bleed and to be honest they were always present when pregnant viably so fingers crossed will have a good read through xxx

[coffeewineandchocolate]

can I just take a moment to scream. just checked my phone app which seems to have put itself on a 25 day cycle rather than 28 day meaning all calculations have been out this month.

I'm so fed up- I had been using it to know when I was due on because life is so crazy I didn't want to be caught out forgetting....

[IceNoSlice]

Belated thanks Rockchick1984 for the info. If I'd known about the implantation bleed thing when DC1 was conceived, I might not have been a month out on my dates!

Right, hooyas have been dished out and it's Monday morning. So let's roll our sleeves up and get focused for a week of JSing to get us all upduffed!

[IceNoSlice]

coffee - bloody bollocking technology!

[essie81]

Welcome flower!

Morning everyone, gentle hooyas! for those that need them and a diy-hooya for me too.

ERTD 3 days late. Deffo can't be upduff because you need to shag for to happen don't you?!

DH had groin strain and then was away during critical time. We jsed when my app said I was ovving, but actually it turned out to be 4 days before ov day because I broke the law and used contraband , so I suppose it's not beyond the realms of possibility but it's not likely. On the plus though it means my literal phase (this time at least) is actually not 9-10 days as previous thought, which has to be a bonus. Sadly though it does mean my carefully calculated dates predicting ov exactly halfway through our relaxing week in Greece in 2 weeks time are now wrong. What a pile of granny pants.

Hope everyone had a good weekend though? We went to a wedding and I danced so much my stomach muscles hurt the next day! :D

Happy Monday all. Love xxx

[MrsRV]

Pissing Monday, pissing pretend implantation bleeding, pissing stupid tests that say negative and pissing hubby has no money or bank card on him for chocolate on his way home. I don't know what a pissing Hooyer or whatever it is, is. But I think I probably need 1. Tmi - I still have brown sludge when wiping, not as much though. Convinced myself it was PISSING implantation as its day 5 of it and AF not due til Thursday. Tested twice now & utilised most expensive favourite test. All negative. Totally fed up. Someone give me a kick up the arse please, I actually said to hubby on the phone today "I just want another baby" - had totally been playing it cool up until that point. Blown my cover now.

[coffeewineandchocolate]

ertd has arrived here- I'm out this month :-(

[Perkins1]

MrsRV Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession. Re: blowing your cover, he's a bloke so he probably switched off when you started talking about chocolate and is none the wiser.

Rockchick you're in the worst part of TTC...the dreaded TWW! It's awfully difficult not to symptom spot isn't it?! Hang in there!

Coffee I reckon I would have thrown my phone at a wall!

Hi Flower

Any other signs Essie aside from no ERTD? Not that I'm encouraging symptom spotting or anything?! Any plans to PIAR??

I'm in week 2 of the TWW and where I thought I was being all relaxed and whatever about the whole thing, I'm now building my hopes up I have absolutely no symptoms btw! I am waiting on my Day 21 progesterone results for this cycle so will hopefully know tomorrow/Wednesday whether I ov'd......I can never tell that either.

As for the wknd: What started as a leisurely walk with the dog turned into a fecking episode of Benny Hill when I had to chase her chasing cows! (A new hit for Adele maybe??) She went on to escape my clutches TWICE, the second time doing a Harry Houdini and managing to get out of her harness! It ended with me being rescued by a farmer after climbing over 2 fences but not being able to climb back (Good job the Krypton Factor doesn't air anymore).

[MrsRV]

Perkins1 - thanks for clarification on hooya. Obsessed? Me? No!!!!! It's only been 2 frickin months since we started TTC baby number 2. What the bloody hell has happened.

Hubby got home & said "I bought a multi pack of kit Kat chunkys because I want a baby too". Wanted to cry so much that I nearly whacked him with multi pack of kit kats.

2 kit kats down & starting to feel better. Just had a few "your testing too early"s on another thread so has cheered me up.

The benny hill dog walk sounds hilarious!!! I'm sure it was far from it at the time.... What make of dog do you have? My dad was telling me at the weekend that a herd of cows trampled a bloke and killed him. Lucky escape for you!

2 WWers - good luck, good luck, good luck!!!!!

[cookielove]

Hello all, day 28 for me which is peculiar (spent ages trying to think of a word to use there) as my last cycles have been a bit haywire, i am a usual 28 day gal, so i went from 28 to 37 (yes thought i was pregnant), then 40 (thought maybe my cycles had just lengthened) then 23 then 26 and today is 28 and what i thought was no sign. But earlier i went to the loo and wiped and there was a very faint pink stripe on the paper, which was a bit darker when i went a couple hours later

So i guess that means i am out!!

Why am i not pregnant

[MrsRV]

Booooooooo CookieLove. I have already made a list of pro's about not being preg this time:-

1. The baby won't be born so close to Christmas (!?!?!).
2. I could potentially lose half a stone before obvious conception next month.
3. I can eat & drink without checking if I can have it.

Hhmmmmm..... That's about it.

[Bearface]

Hi everyone,

Got back from my epic weekend away yesterday. I've been checking in but because of bloody work I haven't been able to reply- just finishedfor the day so now kicking back with a bit of MN action.We had a lovely weekend despite ERTD and fears over seeing preggers friend. She was lovely though and only mentioned it when I did and I found that I didn't mind so much after all. I was just pleased for her. She also has a beautiful DD and we had fun playing together. She was really taken with DH though - very funny. She followed him everywhere and kept asking where he'd gone when he went to the loo. I think she'd have followed him in if she could!

Hello Flower - welcome. I love saying that - I think somewhere in the darkest recess of mind it reminds me of a cartoon where a skunk was called Flower. I'm not suggesting of course, that you are stinky. It's just my weird mind!

Hello anyone else I may have managed to miss out. I'm sorry. But hi!

Perkins -Benny Hill-tastic! You just needed some semi-clad men to chase/be chasing you around...

Sorry about the ERTD Cookie and the potential ERTD MrsRV - it's shit. There's no other word. I consoled myself by drinking a lot two medium sized glasses of wine at the weekend. Maybe that'll help, but then again, at this rate I could be an alcoholic by July!

Sorry you're being invaded by granny pants Essie with no action to speak of. You need to train DH to look after himself and avoid all groin-straining potential activities. Though obviously NOT shagging!

Come on Ice and Dulcet! You're flying the flag for us all ATM it would seem. Get your crotchless onesies or capes on and get going!

Coffee - that's soooooo annoying about the phone. I had a similar incident on Sunday. Had to do lots of timing and then lost all 22 times! Realy wanted to screeeaaam!

Bleugh - we need some better luck on this fred.

[Bearface]

Oh yes, and Red - don't be sad. I was a bit for a while because I thought it was my month, but I'm okay now. Hoping you're getting some good action in and thanks for all your kind words.

[Totesamazeballs]

Hi all!

I hope everyone has had a decent Monday. Sorry for lots of ERTD and phone frustration. Must be somethink in the fred water. Chocolate all round methinks or or

[cookielove]

Bear you are right there is a skunk called Flower that is from Bambi, when he is learning what things are called, the skunk is sleeping in a patch of flowers and Bambi calls him 'pretty flower' Thumper finds this hilarious and tells him that he's not a flower, but the skunk although a boy does not mind being called flower!!! AHHHHHHH (i realise i sound like a loon, but i recently watch Bambi for the first time ever and so its all kind of fresh)

[DulcetMoans]

I'm trying bear, but not sure DP is feeling as heroic! Just went and gave blood this evening, testing the Sod's law theory again - must be pregnant if I give blood as not supposed to. Anyway, DP is telling me he doesn't have enough blood to DTD tonight. Haha. Loser. Will try the cape when we go to bed though, see if I can change his mind!

Feeling like a long cycle. Only in CD18!

[lil1ady]

oh dear we are all a bit down in the dumps at the minute aren't we. for me it was day one back at work after a week and a half of....what a way to start the tww! at least it keeps me busy so I can't be symptom spotting I suppose.

When I get down about TTC I try to remind myself that as horrendous as this journey may be it will be worth it when I reach the end goal, and I only have any chance at the end goal because I am lucky enough to have a wonderful dh who loves me enough to want to create a miniature person who will merge our love into a mixture of our personalities and characteristics passing out sick buckets for you all now! remembering what we have is more important than focussing on what we don't yet have...I hope that thought helps at least one of you feel a little bit better but feel free to throw things at me for the puke fest!

[AndieDisestablishment]

Woah!! Too much has happened over the past few days. There's an overwhelming tone of glumness and today's weather probably won't help everyone!! Hooyas for those who need them everyone.
I'm in week two of training for my new job and today's training is a taster shift on Antenatal. Bump envy will be severe. I shall try not to cry.
Hope everyone has a much better day today.

[essie81]

Oh no, we all need intravenous chocolate by the sounds of things. There ought to be a chocolate smiley.

Haha Perkins, love the Benny Hill dog story! Bad doggins.

Bear Glad you had a good weekend and it was ok seeing your preggers friend. I've been putting off seeing one of mine but perhaps I need to man up and arrange a get together.

Sorry to everyone ERTD has got. It's pants in more than one sense.

Good luck Andie with the bump fest.

So ERTD now 4 days late, so I am now 14 dpo so in theory she should turn up any min, its CD 31 though which is longest I've ever had, 29 was my previous record. Not really got any symptoms either way tbh, though I thought I was coming on Friday but that bloated feeling was short lived. Few stabby boob pains but nothing I can be sure isn't my imagination! Not piar yet, going to wait til weekend as I only have the one diamond encrusted pee stick left. Don't get excited. We didn't shag, its highly unlikely!

Not long til the long weekend people, has anyone got anything nice on? MIL and FIL and SIL were coming to stay but last night they cancelled! HURRAH! So we are totally free all weekend. Yay!

[MrsRV]

Hurrah for cancelling in-laws!! Unexpected day off work today so taking DD to see a couple of friends with little ones the same age.

Desperately trying not POAS. Convincing myself more & more that I've had implantation bleeding & that I am actually pregnant and that the 2 neg tests are WRONG.

Catch up at our "mum club" should keep me distracted though. Hope there's cake!!!!!