Just started to feel period pains ;(

[johnandkymberley]

Hi all, title says it really!!
I'm f*#%!?g gutted!! I really don't think I can deal with it, we have been trying for a month and I know it's stupid to feel like this but I can't help it! I feel like I'm a failure...AND I have no chocolate in the house!!!!
Sorry just needed to let off some upsetness!
Baby dust to all TTC xxxxxxx

[jass43]

I do not argue with that. Was crass, but I did not look to argue with that. I tried to help OP to see that She is actually losing out on sth beautiful by obsessing about becoming pg when She has no real reason to worry it will eventually happen. The reactions of others where enough, I believe, to drive the insensitivity point through. To the extent possible.

On the other hand, with close to 3 years of infertility label on my own forehead I do not expect the world to understand. And she is part of that world who do not understand. So what? One more less than compassionate person, the world is full of them. We have hundreds here on different threads who do understand, that is enough. I also believe conception section of MN is not only for chose for whom fertility is a challenge. She did not crash a thread where we all struggle with a comment that "just calm down, your time comes" or sth similar. She created her own topic, on subject She wanted answers, and in the discussion made an insensitive comment. That happens to the best people. I do not think all responses are balanced neither.....
That is why I chose to answer her problem, while bleeding out another chemical preg mc (no 10), and finding nothing better to do with a rainy Sunday. And not put her right on things She can hopefully afford never to understand.

[mrsden]

OP, most couples will get pregnant within 1 year. Up until that point then you have nothing to worry about. I appreciate that ttc is stressful and frustrating but after one month you really do not understand the pain and misery that long term ttcers face. Each month, even if you do everything right and there are no fertility problems then you only have a 25% chance of conceiving. Your friends have been very lucky for it to happen straight away.

Your comment was insensitive and nasty, you have been given very good advice here. You are likely to be pregnant soon and I wish you luck. But, please do not think that it is knowledge that gets you pregnant. It's down to luck and Mother Nature and nothing more.

[lissieloo]

Jesus Fucking Christ!

[lissieloo]

ok, now I'm a little calmer...

OP, the implant takes a long time to wear off and your body to settle down. It could be months before you get your BFP. However, if you are not pregnant by cycle 18, please go to your gp. In the meantime, for fucks sake, calm down! As has been said, a lot of people who use this board have been ttc a long time (the clue is in the thread titles) and it is clear that people were being patient with you, while also being realistic. Planning doesn't make you pregnant. Stressing doesn't make you pregnant. Testing early doesn't make you pregnant. You have no control over your fertility and conception, the sooner you accept that the happier you will be.

And FOD deserves an apology, she was trying to help you, and you have been cruel and dismissive. Its fucking appalling. I hope you will learn a bit of humility.

And, as a sidenote, I'm sorry to see so many familliar names in here. FTC is shit. I hope the OP never has to experience it, I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

I hope you all get your BFPs soon and fuck babydust

[1Catherine1]

After seeing your last post OP I decided to step away from the thread and leave the mob to descend. I'm sure you now realize how insensitive the comment was and I'm sure you weren't aware of how incredibly nasty the comment you made was until the aftermath. We all say things as throw away comments and then realize how facetious it was and wish we'd have not said it. I get that.

The only reason I'm posting now is because I believe that the previous poster may not be 100% correct. In actual fact, according to the doctor and the nurse, when you remove the implant your body returns to normal much quicker than the pill. Immediately was what I was told. So, Lissielou, if you could quote your source that disagrees with everything I have been told to date (Had 3 implants over the years) then I would appreciate it. In actual fact, I was incredibly lucky last time we ttc and we conceived within 2 months of having the implant removed.

I read in a book that you only have a 20% chance of conceiving each month. That isn't a lot really.

[FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn]

Posting to add to the consensus of . OP I really hope you never have to experience the heartbreak of fertility problems, and I also hope you develop a little thing called compassion before you bring a child into this world.

[lissieloo]

Catharine, I'm sure you didn't mean to sound so snippy, I'm on my phone so no, I can't find supporting evidence, its just what the nurse told me and I've read. I may be wrong, we all have different experiences and are often told different things depending on our circumstances. But when I decided to stop ttc and saw the nurse about my options, she said that the effects of the implant can take a long time to settle down. I'm sorry if I offended.

[lissieloo]

I've just had a quick google, and it looks like I was wrong/misunderstood. So my apologies. Please disregard the first line of the second paragraph, I stand by everything else though

[1Catherine1]

Oh dear... I think emotions are running high on the forum now. I've re-read my message and it doesn't sound snippy to me. Actually I have aimed for non-offensive and non-confrontational but factual. Perhaps I tried too hard to be neutral and non offensive that its gone from my usual too blunt and honest (which my boss tells me is offensive) to passive aggressive..Woops, sorry!

[lissieloo]

No worries, I probably read too much into it anyway. Its been a long time since I've used this board (before I gave up ttc I was in infertility instead, after years on here) and it sort of reminds me of how fucking horrible those years were.

[HesterShaw]

Hello lissie, tis I Ariel


OP, I am another of those experts. I hope you never have to become one, for your own sake :(

[lissieloo]

Ariel, my lovely! How are you? I'm so sorry that you're still here, truly. Any progress?

[HesterShaw]

Well if you count one failed IUI progress! However I guess I'm in the system, and about to start another round, and I have four free rounds before proceeding to IVF if necessary. So things could be worse :) Thanks for asking.

You decided to get off the merry go round then?

[HesterShaw]

So I guess I'm a medium expert as opposed to an expert expert.

Given that it's a competition and all....

[lissieloo]

Ah, I'm sorry, that's shit. Whens your nexy cycle?

Yep, 7.5 years after my first mc, I just had enough. I was depressed, had ill health anyway and so bitter. Its just exhausting, isn't it? Counting days, being scared to move, just in case and blaming yourself for not being "natural" ds is 8 now, still wants a sibling, but I explained that sometimes people can't have babies, even if they've already had one miracle.
I'm actually happy now though.

[FriendofDorothy]

Well, if we are competing then I am a mere amateur!

[HesterShaw]

Am glad you're happy now, Lissie. Sometimes I think we would be happier if we just stopped, but I can't yet. I need to give it a couple more tries.

Hey ho. Life goes on.

[lissieloo]

FOD, I'll take you under my wing. Like in the movies, I'm the retired, slightly deranged professor with crappy theories

Hester, totally understand. It has to be a natural conclusion. I decided after my 14th mc, it took such a long time for bleeding to stop and pain to go, and my cycle was insane. I just thought "what am I doing? Dh is terrified I will die, ds sees me in agony... Enough"

[FriendofDorothy]

Good for you lis.

I think that's a great decision if you can make it and be relatively content with it.

[lissieloo]

Thank you, it wasn't an easy one, but it was right.

I really hope you get your bfp soon!

[duchesse]

Hugs to liss and anybody else currently suffering from the pain of infertility.

[EuroShaggleton]

lis I'm glad you've found peace. I remember that you went through yet another MC on a conception thread I was on, and it was so, so painful to see. I've had one since and I have no idea how you kept going through 14. You sound content, which is great. (PS I was probably euro-somethingelse back then).

[willitbe]

Lissie - hey, long time since you were here, great to see you. And yes I think you would be the prefect crazy old professor for FOD

FOD - enjoy being a trainee! (I hope the op comes back to apologise for her insensitive comment to you) Moving on and making decisions to stop, like Lissie, is the hardest and bravest, and makes me in awe of my special comrade. It is a decision that still haunts me daily.

[lissieloo]

Ooh, its a reunion!

Duchesse, great to see you chickadee, how are you?

Euro, were you eurochick? I definitely remember you though, and thank you. How are you?

Willitbe, I've not seen you in yonks! How are you? Ikwym about it haunting you. Sometimes I wonder if the months since I had the coil fitted which was fucking agony btw were the months it would have worked. But that way does more madness lie.