The Genuine BESH Palais. To misquote Carlsberg, we're probably the barrenest TTC-ers in the world...

[HesterShaw]

We are Barren. We are Evil, on account of having left procreating until our 30s. We are Selfish, thinking only of careers and money and cars and holidays. And lastly, we are Hags. Welcome to the BESH gin palace. Babydusters and instadiffers need not apply.

You should have punched him in the face. Nob.

WOULD YOU LISTEN TO ROMANIA!!!!111!11!!!1111

If Romania don't win, I'll be disappointed. This is AMAZING

Oooh BONNIE!!!!!

I'm being nice to him, Hest, as he's doing my surgery... I did tell him off though, "no, not really" and an unimpressed face, which is more confrontational than I'd normally be.

I fucking hate it when people talk about 'having fun trying'.

Greece has my vote with it's crowd pleaser, 'Alcohol is free'. No wonder the fucking country is skint.

Anyone who can play a trumpet whilst synching his leg kicks with four others has my vote.

I thought that. I think the sleazy looking old geezer with the massive grey porno tash did most of the singing though. He didn't move a muscle, except after the song ended when he proceeded to wipe the spit from his aforementioned tash. Nice touch, I thought.

I thought Bonnie Tyler was a jock ?

I want Greece to win simply to see what kind of do they'll be able to put on next year.

Austerity Eurovision.

No Bonnie is from Kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaardiff.

I voted for Romania. Almost-naked gymnasts, and a falsetto vampire - what's not to love?

Draf

He was actually amazing wasn't he? But maybe it was a bit out there for Eurovision.

I missed Romania. I only got in for Greece. The Swedish smorgasbord gets my 12 points. Fucking brilliant.

Why did I think Bonnie was from the land of the jock and not from Kaaaaaarrrrrrrrdifffffffff ?

I've wanted a shag all weekend, but KFZK wisely suggested we should probably resist before the colposcopy in case it interferes with results (I know you are not supposed to dtd for a day or two befor a smear but meh).

draf I can't believe your consultant says that. What a clueless twat.

I missed the whole thing. Hurrah.

You could do an oral sort of thing, euro? No spaff to interfere with results...

Norf, I like your ingenuity. However, I'm at the end of my period and I'm not sure that is something I want to share in that way.

Oh blee. No indeed, then.

Ahh I enjoyed Eurovision very much last night - sorry I missed the BESH commentary..

I am cat sitting this week for lovely friends who have perfect lives and have just had a weep at seeing the end of Railway Children on the TV. I think it's the knock effect of the baby shoes in the shoe rack and the high chair at the table..

Also KG can go fuck her fertile smug stupid self up the bum and see how many baybees she gets that way.

The KG "campaign" is blaming women (once again) for "leaving it too late". When will people realise that most of us are not out there delaying things so we can carry on clubbing or climbing the career ladder but rather looking for the right partner, waiting for a partner to be ready or starting trying at a relatively young age but not succeeding for bloody years? Grrr.

moll sorry to hear about the tears. Are you feeling recovered now?

Oh god, now Goodnight Mister Tom is making me cry! What a fecking wuss!
I think the anaesthetic has messed with my hormones and I've got early pmt. Maybe I need to SADAW and get it out my system..

cap'n yeah SADAW. SADAW until you vomit.

euro heehee sucks like donkey cock. Kate smug Garraway can suck donkey cock. See if that gets her a baybee. I also just wanted to say I hope your test goes ok tomorrow.

Hi to everyone else.

Would I suck donkey cock for a guaranteed win?

moll, sometimes giving in to the woe is the only way through it. SADAW. SADAW like its 1999.

How's it going, nokkers? Have you started to transition to the PESH yet?

Donkeys are hung like, well, donkeys. It's like a fifth leg. Apparently. We have four dear little donkeys in a field near us and I would be most upset if I saw anything as vulgar as their cocks. I saw them playing football once with a buoy. Trufact.