The Genuine BESH Palais. To misquote Carlsberg, we're probably the barrenest TTC-ers in the world...

[HesterShaw]

We are Barren. We are Evil, on account of having left procreating until our 30s. We are Selfish, thinking only of careers and money and cars and holidays. And lastly, we are Hags. Welcome to the BESH gin palace. Babydusters and instadiffers need not apply.

And once they had little red and blue coats on! I remember you writing about it, and I have thought fondly and asexually of them ever since.

Hest & Norf those 2 posts ^^ just made me snort with laughter.

Norf, either I am very memorable or very boring

They do wear coats though. I think they have only just discarded them. Poor, cold little donkeys.

norf nope. Am not ready for all that yet. Too superstitious. Please don't make me follow the fucking trail of babydust to instadifferland.....

Oh no. Now the sad song, 'Little Donkey' won't quite sound the same

Nokkie I still haven't really come to terms with being a differ

With his heavy load

at the vulgar donkeys.

Good luck tomorrow euro. We are getting the results of HWCA's spaff test in the morning. I wonder will they be as contrary as him? I was under the impression we'd had a lovely weekend. Apparently I've been snapping at him all weekend. Odd that I hadn't felt snappy at all, until that conversation.

jeff me either. I am way too superstitious right now so am pretending it is happening to someone else. This ploy was a bit difficult to maintain today when the consultant wanted to ram a mingecam about my person. However, back to normal now.

norf little donkey will get his own late night channel at this rate.

twonks good luck for HWCA's spaff tomorrow. If you don't batter him before then.

Twink I hope the sample was a good'un.

noks it must be comforting to see everything on the scan. Even if it does mean suffering yet another dildocam sesh.

The sample was fine. GP is referring us to the fertility clinic (hopefully it won't get lost). I had a 'it wasn't meant to be like this moment' and was told by my supportive and loving husband I was being completely unreasonable and I've 'just got to crack on with it.' I have no reason to be at all upset apparently.

Ah, they don't get it do they? It's not them with cameras up their fannies every five minutes :(

Oh twinks I know that feeling. Where is our moment of pure lurve, eh?

euro it was.....eventually. The consultant got his dates mixed-up and said that here was just a sac there but no more. He thought I was three weeks preggers. I had to explain that I was seven weeks preggers and he had another look and then saw the heartbeat on his screen (it's snuggled itself away, so you have to route around a bit to see it). I couldn't see it on my screen because the quality was shit. So, it was nice to know everything is ok but it was not quite what I had envisioned. Anyway, you could scan me everyday but it still wouldn't get rid of this fear. It will get better as the days tick by but I am still anxious. Any news on your cine-minge smear session today ?

twonks what have you been making a fuss about all this time, you silly girl ? Come on, stiff upper lip, crack on with all this infertility malarkey. . Honestly, they can come out with some corkers at times.

Hello to all of the lovely haglets lurking in the shadows.

Norkers x

Thanks hags. Sorry for being a drama queen, I know my woes are pretty small compared to most.

Anyway we had a screaming row good talk, and it appears that rather than being a complete twat he's just spectacularly bad about expressing himself. He hates seeing me upset and wants to gee me up when what I actually need is a hug. I've explained that, whilst it is likely that it will all be ok in the longterm, we can't know that for sure, so saying 'it'll be fine' seems flippant at best.

We are in a better place now. I have to go out to a leaving drink, I'm drained from today and CBA but alas I am the person who left so I suspect it would be bad form to not show.

Again - sorry for being so me me me. euro how goes it? How's everyone else?

PS norks I can totally understand why you're anxious. I have everything crossed for you. Literally. Other train passengers are, well, ignoring my odd behaviour completely because it's London.

Course we did!

How was Turkey?

As usual wot Hes said. As for me: I am grumpy and miserable and the next stabs I'll do will be for my first go at IVF...

Awww thanks twonks. Do have a glass of something nice and strong for me please. Shine at your leaving do, princess.....and mebbes a bit of SADAW later ? Am glad you and HWCA sorted things out. Sometimes a good screaming row can be therapeutic (even though we don't necessarily want one at the time). Men can be fucking block heads with this ivf thingy. When I announced to CASAF that I was preggers, he looked stunned and said 'oh, I'm so pleased for yo.....' paused, mid-word and then said 'oh I'm so pleased'. Said so much in so few words. I don't resent him for it but it demonstrates that it's so much more the woman's battle than the bloke's battle.

bugs did you not make your white bits brown in Turkey ?

drizz I shall tickle your feet until you squeal with laughter. Don't be sad.

hest HOLA.

Everyone else, hello.

Norks x

noks that doesn't sound very comforting!

twink your post made me laugh!

bugs! You're back!

Right. The only dr in London who hadn't yet peered up my chuff has now had a gander. I liked him much more than the chap I saw last year. Basically, he had a look, really couldn't see anything to worry about, wasn't going to do anything and then changed his mind, saying there was a tiny area which might just be where the HPV virus is sitting or could be the area of mild abnormality, so he took a biopsy of that (basically just grabbing a bit of my cervix between forceps and yanking - ow). He said he actaully took most of the area away with the biopsy, it was that small. Results should come in next week, but he is not expecting it to show anything other than a mild abnormality and is happy for me to crack on with IVF. I'm slightly uncomfortable now, but not too bad. Mostly relieved. Hopefully the biopsy result will not provide further worry and we can forget about all this until the next smear in 6 months.

Hurrah for the almost spotless eurofoof! Glad you've got it over with, and good luck for results.

Welcome back, buggeration. We did indeed miss you and your white bits.

When do your start stabbing, drizz?

Ouch euro! but well done your foof.

bugs I missed you.

driz when do you start stabbing? Are you miz cos of that or for other reasons?

hest & norks 'lo lovelinesses

I am a bit drunk and feeling luffed by my ex work mates. If my last job had been even a tenth as lovely as the people I would have stayed there til the day I died. However the diet is majorly shot to shit. Ah well.

Going home to try for sex and have my ego crushed by rejection.

Ooo, that sounds unpleasant, euro. Hurrah for it being over!

Hi bugs! All well here, I have pre-op blood tests tomorrow and a brief list of questions for them to answer, most of which revolve around "how soon can I get back on my bike".

Good luck twinks. Go get 'im.
Euro that really made me wince just thinking about it, so have a fucking huge lollipop for being brave with the foof-yanking.

Bugs! Welcome back!

Everyone else! Hello!

I am very seriously considering an imbargo on ttc for 6 months so that BE can sort his head out and I can lose 3 stone. My weight is a contributing factor to Lumperdinck and I have spent too long making excuses for myself. Time to change. Once these dressings are off, a new regime will commence.

Hello hags! I'm back! Currently sat at Heathrow waiting for HWHNN's mum to pick us up.

New York was awesome! I'll catch up on all your goings on when I get home and showered/fed.