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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

The Genuine BESH Palais. To misquote Carlsberg, we're probably the barrenest TTC-ers in the world...

984 replies

HesterShaw · 19/04/2013 22:18

We are Barren. We are Evil, on account of having left procreating until our 30s. We are Selfish, thinking only of careers and money and cars and holidays. And lastly, we are Hags. Welcome to the BESH gin palace. Babydusters and instadiffers need not apply.

OP posts:
Nokkie73 · 18/05/2013 12:09

norf I mean. Not hest who is most definitely not going to be drinking in her bed.

moll will you have wrap around skirts on which you'll take off during your routine a la Buck's Fizz ?

Nokkie73 · 18/05/2013 12:10

hest I still have a few spare copies of my international bestseller, 'Stop whining, you cunts' if you would like to send them on ?

lovesLemonDrizzleCake · 18/05/2013 13:03

Id love some, more copies of your bestseller nokkie, although could you target it also to the grateful for children but bloody greedy? My usually lovely sister is complaining of an empty nest syndrome since her middle child has turned four. For fuck sake, she has a 2 year old and a 6 year old as well. Her nest is anything but empty.

And breathe...

On other news I bought some lovely lamb for lunch tomorrow and somehow lost it on the way home. Face slap. Well there I go again, retrace my steps and/or buy some more.

JethroTull · 18/05/2013 18:00

Euro I had a series of abnormal smears about 5 years ago which resulted in them finding 'pre-cancerous' cells which I had removed. It wasn't the most pleasant experience but it was ok. Done in a day, about a week to recover. I'm never sure if this had anything to do with our inability to get pregnant naturally. The FC said probably not. I hope it all goes well for you.

Have you seen in the news that Kate Garraway is fronting a campaign to 'encourage woman to have children earlier... & to understand about age related declining fertility'. Fuck off Kate. Don't you think we've been TRYING. Meh.

JethroTull · 18/05/2013 18:01

Drizz hope you find your lamb!!

Northey · 18/05/2013 18:06

Hurrah for it being even more out own fault because we are ancient hags, and not at all because we might have genuine non-age-related ishoos. Fuck off Kate.

JethroTull · 18/05/2013 18:16

'Xactly Norf and absolutely no mention of perhaps not meeting the right man until you're in your 30's.

evilgiraffe · 18/05/2013 19:22

Or said man not wanting children in his twenties, either. Heaven forbid it be a joint decision between prospective parents.

evilgiraffe · 18/05/2013 19:26

Correction: prospective parents with no reason to believe they'd have trouble conceiving. Most women get pregnant within a year of starting TTC, so even if you do choose to delay it, you stand a good chance of winning a baybee even if you are older than whatever KG thinks the ideal procreating age is. It's a ludicrously simplistic way of looking at an extremely complex and varied issue.

TWinklyLittleStar · 18/05/2013 19:38

KG can fuck off and suck on a vagrant's pus filled sore Angry

JethroTull · 18/05/2013 20:01

Nicely put Twinks.

Draff I was ranting at SSG about the fact that the campaign is aimed at women. Why not just people.

EuroShaggleton · 18/05/2013 20:08

Thanks jeff. It's just irritating as I had an abnormal one a year ago, then a normal one 6 months ago and now here we go again. If it had happened pre or post-ttc, I'm sure it would have been stressful, but the timing just sucks donkey cock.

KFZK and I have been out all day shooting things. It's quite therapeutic.

And tonight, we shall be wholly avoiding eurowankvision.

TWinklyLittleStar · 18/05/2013 20:33

You are so wrong. The Eurovision Song Contest is amazing. I only joined the besh cos we had a eurovision feem last year.

I'm not even being sarcastic! Drinking fizz & watching it now :)

evilgiraffe · 18/05/2013 20:37

We have it on too, Twink. I love Graham's commentary - did you hear him before Finland? "At the end of this song, there are two girls kissing. And if two girls kissing offends you, you need to grow up." Grin He is brilliant.

Original poster
HesterShaw · 18/05/2013 20:41

And we thought Wogan was irreplaceable. How wrong we were.

OP posts:
evilgiraffe · 18/05/2013 20:44

I like Graham more than Wogan Shock

Original poster
HesterShaw · 18/05/2013 20:48

Oh me too.

This boy from Malta could do well.

OP posts:
TWinklyLittleStar · 18/05/2013 20:49

euro is going to leave us forever and it'll be my fault... I did like the Malta entry

TWinklyLittleStar · 18/05/2013 20:50

Fertility wise, I got a shag today in my allegedly fertile time.

Original poster
HesterShaw · 18/05/2013 20:52

Well done Winks. Don't bother menkulling though Grin. BESH CBATM.

Russia is boring as fuck. And why is she not singing in lovely Russian?

OP posts:
TWinklyLittleStar · 18/05/2013 20:54

Nah CBATM, ovaries defective, fuckit. Twas a good shag tho.

evilgiraffe · 18/05/2013 20:57

I got a shag this morning and yesterday morning Pointless, of course, but always fun Grin

I quite liked Russia - she's the best singing voice we've had so far.

Original poster
HesterShaw · 18/05/2013 21:03

Well that's the main thing. Now you can say when some well meaning prick asks "So, when are you two going to start a family?" you can wink and say "We're having fun trying."

Hmm
OP posts:
TWinklyLittleStar · 18/05/2013 21:05

Dammit the alcohol must be kicking in cos I'm actually laughing at Swedish 'comedy' Blush

evilgiraffe · 18/05/2013 21:08

Our consultant said "well, at least you can have fun trying". Idiot. As if sex and TTC are the same thing... Still, if you can put menkulling out of your mind, sex is still awesome. But TTC never is.