The Genuine BESH Palais. To misquote Carlsberg, we're probably the barrenest TTC-ers in the world...

[HesterShaw]

We are Barren. We are Evil, on account of having left procreating until our 30s. We are Selfish, thinking only of careers and money and cars and holidays. And lastly, we are Hags. Welcome to the BESH gin palace. Babydusters and instadiffers need not apply.

And also, surely you have to give permission for them to take out your womb before you go under? They won't do anything without your permission x

Thanks Merk, and also for making me snigger a lot at the stray Russian testicle.
I was super chilled when I went under before - joking with the nurse etc. then I came round into a massive and painful panic attack. It was so horrible. I didn't realise anaesthetists could do clever things like that with the drucks though, so I'll ask about that.

Bloody hell! A few weeks away and I miss the FCFU of the decade! Will I look weird nipple tasseling alone? Ah fuck it! Congratulations, noks, you clever old sechser. I expect you just relaxed, didn't you?

I had the same irrational worry about my womb being removed too. They absolutely won't do it, if they find anything other than what they have discussed with you they'll wake you up and talk to you about it

Totally natural to be scared cappy, especially after last time. The anaesthetist will come to talk to you before the op so I agree to ask for the nice drucks. They might even be able to offer you a different anaesthetic - there's different types. They absolutely can't take your womb without your permission - just make sure you know exactly what they will and won't be doing before you go under too.

at Middle Ages Russian!

Can I have a belated "heh" at faif's "no Virgin in the bedroom". Let's hope not eh? It would make for a bit of a crap marriage.

I've just ordered Sherlock on DVD, so maybe I will come to see what all the fuss is about with the Batch. We have no Virgins anywhere in our house, so it was the way forward.

frank I hope you had a lovely birthday. Hurrah for hat purchasing.

Hest I agree. In the IL's village, the first clothes shop has opened up. It is fucking awful. It's like a dodgy market school and looks like it might all go up in a big ball of flame if anyone rubs two of the polyester monstrosities together, there are so many cheap manmade pieces of crap in there.

I completely get the freak out. GA makes me want to run when I come round. So I do... Speak to the surgeon. Be very clear that you do not consent to anything other than removal of lumperdink. If he/she finds anything else, it can be dealt with later, after discussion with you (if this is what you want - it risks going through it all a second time, of course). It's your body - nothing can be done without your consent.

Hello Hags, sorry to report I have no picture of the hat at the moment. It's a hire shop so I will take a picture when I pick it up on 10th June. Tis a traditional hat, but wide and it's a pale pinky/brown colour to go with my dress. I had picked out a pale pink hat and a white one to try on but the lady who owns the place said "Hmm, Im not sure the colour's quite right. how do you feel about big hats?" and whipped out this whopper that I hadn't even spotted on the rails (they have 900 hats!).

I tried it on with my dress and 2 women standing near by both went "Oooh, that's lovely!" so I was sold on it!

Capp, sorry to hear about the stress. I was very scared before my Laporoscopy in 2011. It was my first general anaesthetic and I was convinced I'd have an allergic reaction and die . As the others have said, it's natural to be scared. Just make sure you let them know that your nervous.

Welcome back Norf

4 more sleeps till NYC .

Thanks BESH. I heart you.

Frank, hat sounds fab.
Norf, lovely tassling.

frank can't wait for the hat picture. I love a big hat. Alas I have an enormous head.

Moll I can't add anything more to what the others said, they're all very wise. I'll be thinking of you. The last time I came round from GA I talked an incredible amount of shite to the poor recovery nurse. GA does strange things. Hopefully they can change something for you so you have a better experience.

euro & hest, I feel slightly better about my tesco-style now. Going on holiday always highlights how fat, pale and badly dressed I am.

Hi norf! Good tassel dancing :) How are you?

norf thank you. And what fine Norks you have - perfect for swooshing about with. It's funny about the relaxing thing, because from what I remember I was a homicidal maniac after my ivf bfn.....I did have a corker if a comment from my boss though this week. I obviously had to tell him because I may need time off for appointments etc. he said 'well it just shows you what mind over matter can do'. Errrr, yeah. Which is why it has taken me four and a half years. . Anyway, did you have nice hollibobs ? Any stray testicles where you were ? If not, merk wins the hollibobs random sighting of man bits prize.

cap'n c'mere . No-one will hurt you or take out your bits. Talking to the anaesthetist and asking for a different druck is a brilliant idea. Last time I was under, Justin Timberlake was mincing about in my head so you may want to ask the quack if there's anythng else you can take to stop this from happening.

twonks will you stop slagging yourself off. The French are not all they are cracked up to be in terms of fashion. You WILL rock whatever look you have. So, fuck'em.

frank I am envious about your hat as I also have a fucking mahoosive head and cannot pull them off.

faif rasp euro morning !

And morning to everyone else too. By fuckitty Christ on a BMX, the sun is shining here. Hurrah.

Norks x

"market school" should be "market stall". For anyone who doesn't speak euro yet.

Alas, my norks are dreadfully swooshy - fruits of lots of weight fluctuations that have left them less pert than they once were in my optimistic memory. Am fine, otherwise. Have not been pn holiday, but have instead been wading through considerable work stress, and my fledgling running regime foundered a fortnight ago, but I am hoping to take half term off and collapse with AMNH.

Add me to the massive head club. Someone should research a link between head size and barrenosity...

cap'n, good luck with it all, you old slapper, you. Everyone speaks wise words about th anaesthetist. They want to know if you have ever reacted weirdly to it before, so they can steer clear of things that don't agree with you. A panic attack is clearly not agreeing with you. And they won't take your womble. But you know that really - I think sometimes we just pick something to focus all our fretting on.

I too have a big head. Weird. My sister has a pinhead and she's about to have two babies. Maybe there is something in this.

I love big hats though. How big is your head, Frank? Big or normal sized or pin?

I googled it, but all the results talk about sperm head size.

I'm watching Anchorman at the moment. It's kind of weird and I don't particularly like Christina Applegate, but I couldn't be arsed watching anything more intellectually demanding.

Actually Anchorman is really stupid, but I've been watching it for over an hour now so I might as well finish it.

I would like a glass of wine and a shag even though I'm poorly and HWCA would probably suffocate me with my lungs the way they are Is that weird?

twonks why is wanting a shag and a glass of wine weird ?

hest you do make me larf.

Just because I barely have the energy to clean my teeth, I feel so crappy, so I'm amazed I have the energy to be turned on, and I don't think drinking wine will aid my recovery sadly.

Hope everyone else is having a lovely Sunday.

Yes twonks I understand. However, will having the sechsytime and a glass of wine make you smile and forget your pain ? If so, do both or at least one of them. Wine has medicinal qualities so it will definitely make you feel better. Watching Anchorman won't, by the way, because Will Ferrell is very unfunny.

Would solo sechsytime work? Less scope for lung-crushing.

I have cleaned the bathroom. Even the walls.

I have had a productive day, loads of coursework done, a clean kitchen, an hrs pole dancing, a glass of wine in the bath and now about to chill with another glass or two and watch some more sporticus. However, I am a bit nervous whether ill like it as found out last week as the original Spartacus chappy died at the end of the first series. It's made me very sad :(

I have been out in the cold and the rain all day. Still, HOTB and I had a nice time watching horses jumping over things, so I count it as a win.

My head is medium/small, and most hats suit me. Am I an outlier?

I think my head is about average draf.

Well, AF has just arrived, so I guess I am now officially on IVF cycle 2. Gah.

OMG this programme is so brutal! But so watchable.

Oh euro I'm sorry, I missed your post. When do you think you will be able to start ivf again?