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Conception

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The Elderberry Pavlovas who occasionally sausage wang – a fabulous thread for 30+ ladies TTC #1 (Thread 8)

989 replies

Bunnygirlie · 06/04/2013 22:56

Newbies very welcome provided they meet the strict entrance criteria (TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 3+months, must have a special pot, NO instadiffers) and bring a bouquet of sausages when they join!

OP posts:
SidneyBristow · 12/04/2013 19:59

back from the GPs and am done crying from frustration.
She did authorize a thyroid blood panel, set for Mon, and seemed surprised my previous GP hadn't requested it already.

Frustrating bit is that this GP wants to refer me to a neurologist, to 'get control of' a neurological condition I have that necessitated surgery several years ago. It's already under control, but I do have periodic headaches. Her logic is that any fertility clinic will automatically want the neuro condition signed off on by a neurologist, so may as well handle it now before being referred to a FS. In the meantime, she wouldn't set up an HSG, saying the fertility specialist would do that when the time comes.

So, basically nothing will happen til I've seen a neurologist, and if I'm still not pregnant in 4 months, I'm to go back to her and she'll refer me to a FS. Told her we won't qualify for NHS IVF due to DH's existing kids, and her response was that she could refer me to a private clinic now, or I could wait and be referred to an NHS clinic, and have as much testing there as they'll allow before sending me off private.

I'm frustrated bc it just seems like she's chosen 4 months arbitrarily - we're cycle 10, so 2 mos would be the 1 year mark, and she said she never refers anyone trying less than a year. So why do I have to get to 14 months? DH says to just call back after the neuro appt is handled, and tell her I'm ready for a referral to NHS clinic, and forget about her 4 month timeframe.

It's all so frustrating. She told me to keep having sex 3x a week, and 'try not to worry'. Yeah the prospect of blowing 4 months til I can be referred to a place with a 3-4 month waiting list for an intake appointment really isn't worrisome at all Angry

CatsCantFlyFast · 12/04/2013 22:12

bajas and fairy pleeeeaaaase set your alarm for 30 mins before you normally wake. After a cycle you will do this in your sleep. Fairy if you O over a weekend FF will struggle to realise if your temps are out. Tell yourself its for 60 days then you can ignore me. It really does make all the difference for most people.
In advance apologies for multiple posts, catching up on my phone and need to post before I forget what I want to say after reading a couple of posts!...

PoppySeedBun · 12/04/2013 22:15

Hello, can I join too?
33, TTC about 2 years, diagnosed with PCOS in Jan, PG on first round of Clomid in Feb, but just MCed this week (ERPC on Weds) and trying to keep smiling.

CatsCantFlyFast · 12/04/2013 22:21

sid that's awful, so shitty, sorry x
However it seems that berries are missing since 19.30 so instead of sympathising I am going to do the berry classic to tempt people back...

CatsCantFlyFast · 12/04/2013 22:22

Er of course you can poppy, welcome in! Apologies for stripping but it does tend to ensure the absent bunnies return to the sofa for some more chatting!!Confused

CatsCantFlyFast · 12/04/2013 22:24

So so sorry about your MC. Do you want to talk/rant/cry about it or not?

Tallyra · 12/04/2013 22:26

It must have worked Merk, here I am! I think I'll slink in over here and just curl up on the corner as far away from your wriggling as possible though.
Hi poppy and welcome. I have had 3 erpcs so I understand what a horrible thing you ate going through right now. Keep your chin up and drag that quilt over us and here, have this Wine and Biscuit. while I drink my sweet Brew .

CatsCantFlyFast · 12/04/2013 22:36

I knew I'd tempt you back! How you doing today Tally? Weren't we cycle buddies last cycle (meaning we won't be this time due to my everlasting cycles)?
cherry glad to hear you sound a bit more positive. Apply for the job and put Sod to the test!

Tallyra · 12/04/2013 22:43

Yes, we were both having a wonderful time last cycle playing with dipping sticks. AF for me is due tomorrow or so, and I'm feeling a bit tender, emotional and my back is BLOODY KILLING ME today, so I think it's safe to say she will be here very soon. Not that I doubted it this month.

CatsCantFlyFast · 12/04/2013 22:50

Oh that's crap, sorry Tally. I'm still in the last 5 days of hope ignoring the fact I woke up to spots this morn which is my hormones saying AF is coming

Tallyra · 12/04/2013 22:51

On another note, I went to the surgery today to get.a copy of the referral letter they sent, so I can follow it up. turns out the doctor is pretty crap . the letter is worded in such a way as to not really describe my problems or the actual worries I have and instead makes me sound like a trivial shallow person. she also actually lies - saying there was no conclusive thing wrong with the embryo from my last mc when it was actually tested and found to have trisomie 9. she may have meant that there were no implications of being caused by either of our genetics, but she clearly spent about 30 seconds writing this. and then didn't address it to anyone in particular so now I'm not sure if I should just wait for the secretary to get back or try and push it a bit in some other way. GRRRRRRRRR!Angry Angry Angry Angry Angry

PoppySeedBun · 12/04/2013 23:03

Hello merk thanks for the offer re MC. Actually feeling ok about I now. It's been a rotten week, but now just feeling a bit sad and disappointed, as we thought we were on our way and now have to get back to the dipsticks and all that glamour. I was 9 weeks with MMC that looked like 6 on the scan.
Thanks as well tallyra - I've had a couple of days off since the ERPC, and it seems it went as well as it could have done. Physically, I'm in pretty good shape, considering.
I can tell I'm going to have trouble keeping up with you lots - the acronyms come quick and fast around here, don't they? Smile

CatsCantFlyFast · 12/04/2013 23:03

tally push, moan and rant. Be nice but insist you get what you need. You will never be friends with the doctors etc so don't worry about offending them. Pretend you are American and demand the service you expect. Remember you have paid for the NHS and deserve excellent service, in a crude way you are paying their wages

Tallyra · 12/04/2013 23:11

Thanks merk, I'll give them another call next week.
poppy, don't be surprised if it suddenly hits you in a week or two. Let yourself mourn. And rant at us when you feel you need to xxxxx

Bunnygirlie · 12/04/2013 23:20

Evening my little berrykins!

Welcome Poppy, so sorry to hear about your mc, that's bloody rotten!

Nowt much else to say here, had day20 blood test this morn, kind of in limbo land as just waiting for beginning of may to start DTD!

OP posts:
Pipbin · 12/04/2013 23:35

Welcome Poppy we are a friendly bunch. Join us on the sofa of self pity.

barkingtreefrog · 12/04/2013 23:52

Hello poppy sorry to hear your recent sad news Sad . Welcome to the sofa though Smile .

sid the waiting is a ball ache Angry .
tally that sounds rubbish, how unhelpful. Angry

I got back from the park and DP had spoken to the builders, who apologised as I was walking back out again to go to tescos. But they said 'we did try to keep the door shut' at which point I wanted to scream 'no you bloody didn't, and that had nothing to do with the mud you've trodden up the stairs' but I restrained myself and kept walking. By the time I got back from tescos they had gone and DP had done a sterling job cleaning up. We took flowers round to both neighbours as their windows, bins and back yards were all covered in brick dust and they were very nice about it after DP asked if he could hose them all down (the back yards and bins, not the neighbours).

Managed to get the curry cooked and had a lovely evening with friends. Grin

No lesson plans done though. Why do I do this to myself every holiday?! There goes my weekend!! Hmm

Frogcatcher · 12/04/2013 23:53

Welcome poppy. Sounds like a really tough week so pls share as much or as little as you need to.
Sorry if the typing goes awry but am on the train home [hic] after a few moderate drinks with friends. Trouble with being 36 is that all anyone ever talks about is their kids & they all assume I'm not trying or I'd be updiffed by now. I just leave wanting to scream that I am fuckin' trying ok so pls change the subject as we can't all be instadiffers & a step son is not the same & does not mean I am part of your club! Sorry for rant but I am going to either cry or turn on one poor friend who happens to say the wrong thing one day if I don't get to let it out elsewhere!

Tallyra · 12/04/2013 23:55

hugs frog Xxxxx
night night all. phone about to die...

barkingtreefrog · 13/04/2013 00:05

Rant away frog that's what we're here for, to shout out all the things we can't say to people in RL but really want to...
And it makes me feel more normal when I listen to all you berries ranting and recognise the same rants I'm having silently at people who claim to understand but really, clearly don't.
Hope you get it all out before you get home and get a good nights sleep.

Night night all.

BombasticPeanut · 13/04/2013 07:22

Morning berries

Poppy hello, welcome to the pity sofa. Loads of room Smile. So sorry about your MC, I had mmc back in Aug and just now getting (maybe, hopefully) pcos diagnosis, it's crappy so big hugs. Don't worry about the acronyms, just ask and they'll start to make sense - when you start using them in real life you need to worry (anyone else telling the docs about when they dee-tee-dee?)

Barking can't believe those bloody builders! The cheek! I'd hide the kettle at the very least, no tea = no toilet trips in muddy boots + revenge.

Sid sorry about your crappy doc's trip. So frustrating, I'd just keep making appointments every week until she gives in.

Bwahaha Merk I appreciated your strip, even if I was at work at the time..

Tally definitely just keep beating them round the head with what you want. Eventually they will give it to you when it's easier than continually saying no.

Frog bit late now but sorry about your childcentric conversation last night Sad

Got a bit upset at work last night for the first time - and not actually midwhiffy work but moonlighting at a pub to pay bills while at uni. About five zillion pregnant women came in and they were all doing the contented-bump-rub and ordering orange juice and asking if there was blue cheese in salads..and then I ran to the kitchen and cried like a massive numpty in front of the chef! Doesn't help being mid-AF hormonal at the moment. Still felt a bit of a plonker when I'd calmed down. For some reason at the hospital I can turn off the reaction because it's 'business' and I expect it, but in any other walk of life I'm emotionally mown down by a bump Sad

Right, off to walk the dog to cheer me up. She had a haircut yesterday and looks like a (slightly podgy) showdog Grin

BombasticPeanut · 13/04/2013 08:16

Obviously hoping it never gets to this point for any of us! But isn't this amazing? (excuse Daily Fail source...) Womb transplant pregnancy

PuppyMummy · 13/04/2013 08:28

morning all. as predicted cd1 here today. cycle 16. lovely!
and last proper day of holiday. pah

BombasticPeanut · 13/04/2013 08:30

Oh rubbish. Sorry puppy Sad

cherrycoconut · 13/04/2013 08:42

Oh Sid how frustrating for you... we just seem to wait and wait some more through all of this. Meanwhile the whole structure of TTC is based on an age related time running out system that feels like it is galloping away without us. I feel like every time I step into a Dr's office I'm closer to the scrap heap of 'you're too late' and their eyebrows get higher with concern. I would definitely do as your DP says, see the neurology consultant and as soon as you have sign off get back in her office forgetting about the 4 month time frame.

Tally argh to GP's but hopefully all you need is a foot in the door at the FC and then you can take it from there to get your worries understood properly. Let it go and try to look forward hun.

Welcome Poppy so sorry to hear your news but glad you're bearing up. Sure its totally obvious but can I ask what a ERPC is please

Peanut sorry the preggo ones got you where it hurts just when you had your guard down. Hope you're feeling more chipper this morning.

Merkin I think it was Cats contemplating the new job. Sounds exciting Cats I'd go for it - you only live once and perhaps a new challenge would be just the thing to take your mind of this whole lark. With any luck it may also magnificently herald the superior law of sod for guaranteed upduffedness. I say go for it. :)

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