The Elderberry Pavlovas who occasionally sausage wang – a fabulous thread for 30+ ladies TTC #1 (Thread 8)

[Bunnygirlie]

Newbies very welcome provided they meet the strict entrance criteria (TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 3+months, must have a special pot, NO instadiffers) and bring a bouquet of sausages when they join!

I've been using cb digi opks as I love the fact you can use fmu and get the palava over for the day- no trying to interpret them either! I think I'm lucky though in that I've only had to use 3 sticks most month as my smiley tends to turn up on time. I stop using them after first smiley though skinflint I was curious over relationship between O and the number of days you get a +ive on, so that's useful to know, thanks.

When I was temping I found that I would ov the day after the positive opk.

A question ladies: have you found that all this ttcing has meant that even when it's not shag we you are DTD when you'd really rather not just for the sake of fairness?

Haha tally DP woke me up the other morning cos he was in the mood & I made him wait whilst I took my temp! I agree with you pip I don't want to be accused by DP of only wanting to DTD in shag week (or in my case fortnight as cycle is unpredictable) so am willing to do it at a lot of other times too. I did read something re SMEM as well about needing the sperm to be fresh or something so you should do it outside of shag week too.

pip doesn't really apply here because we don't know when shag week is, so it's just regular-ish dtd all the time. Can't quite manage every 48 hours as the prepubescent doctor suggested, but do our best! On a slight tangent, (and this may be TMI people), does anyone else slightly resent other ahem favours for the boys because the money shot doesn't end up where it's needed? I do because I'm nice but secretly I'm annoyed

Haha Peanut my DP knows that he has no chance of other favours on anything that might be a "green day" as shag week is euphemistically referred to in our house in a bid to reduce pressure.

frog Ha, green days and red days? Excellent! I suppose it's because we don't know when the green days are, I'm always cringing at sperm wastage. Although did start temping this morning so maybe will have a better idea in about, ooh, six months time when I've had another two cycles! Only have a normal thermometer at the moment but going to get a proper bbt one today if I can bear to leave my hot water bottle for more than two seconds

Yes pip, last summer (while we were travelling in the campervan around France) DP suggested dtd and I can't remember my response but his reaction was pretty much along the lines of 'you only want me for my sperm' so since then I've been tying to initiate dtd throughout the month instead of only initiating it myself during shag week. Only this month when I had a real low point of 'this is pointless it's not working so why bother' I didn't bother making a particular effort during shag week, but then panicked when I thought O was the next day and tried to dtd but DP was tired and said leave it until morning.
I totally rationally then said that would be 'too late' so he asked why I hadn't told him it was shag week and I said it wasn't working so what was the point and he said ok then we could do it now so I said it was 'fine' which obviously sounds like it isn't as there was no point anyway.....
Hmm. I was on form...

Anyone listening to radio 2? They're talking about IVF.

What did they say? I imagine it was because it was due to Dr Edwards dying.

Yes it was because of Dr Edwards. They were talking generally about it and then had callers talking about their IVF experiences. All very lovely really. But still grounded, the woman speaking pointed out that only a third of couples are successful.
And they had one idiot call in just to say that couples going for IVF were selfish and they should adopt. I would say that makes every woman who gets pregnant selfish as they could adopt. And one obligatory rant about millions of embryos being destroyed. I liked the response on that one. She pointed out that millions of embryos are destroyed every month when women have their periods .

I love it when people have opinions they won't shut up about, regarding personal circumstances that they themselves aren't involved in. Adoption is a wonderful thing but personally I don't see how it could satisfy the monumental longing I have to create a new person that's a combination of my husband and me. My feelings about this might be colored by my experience as a stepmother: I crave something that's ours bc so much of my time/energy/efforts are devoted to people who are "theirs". Frankly I don't think adoption would be open to us anyway, due to the restrictions they put on re: timeframe of trying to have a biological child, much less the interviews they do with existing children and also with ex partners - it's incredibly hard to swallow that my DH having children not only bars us from NHS IVF, but could also keep us from adopting.

TTC has been the biggest emotional beating of my life, and it gives me the rage when someone basically tells me that I don't deserve a family as much as someone else. It's hard enough as it is without some idiot acting superior bc they happened to meet their spouse earlier in life than I met mine.

Sidney your comments are spot on.

Am I wrong in assuming that the idiot saying that people going through ivf are selfish has never had any problems trying to conceive?

I never understand the 'ivf is selfish' argument. How is wanting a child of your own, to follow the deepest primal urge we have - procreate to preserve your DNA - how is that SELFISH? Yes, civilisation means we can choose to ignore our animal instincts, and true, some people do not feel compelled to produce children.. But I do, and it's a natural instinct and the reason our species has survived long enough to produce idiots who phone into radio shows to spout rubbish!

that's what I think anyways

Quick change of topic here just for a sec - GP appt in 2 hrs & was hoping one of you could tell me specifically what thyroid tests to ask for? My levels for different tests (T3, T4 etc) have been borderline in the past.

Is there a specific comprehensive "package" I need to ask to have done, or do I just say "please test my thyroid levels as I'm concerned they might be a problem due to my history"? Or is there just one specific thing that needs testing, as it relates to TTC?

yorkie I immediately made the assumption that she had never experienced ttc problems but it wasn't clarified. The presenter basically said thank you for your view and immediately cut to a song, she didn't even engage in dialogue, which I think nicely made the point that she was being an ignorant cow. Even I thought a few months ago that I might prefer to skip IVF and go to adoption, but purely because I don't know emotionally how I would cope with the stress of trying and possibly not beige successful. I've since switched to the 'I will try anything to make a child that is half me, half DP. And both of us have adopted siblings as well as my parents being foster carers, so we're both clued up and open to the idea of adoption. Doesn't stop you wanting to see what your own dna combination would make though.

No idea about thyroid sid sorry, but can I change topic again? I need to RANT!!!

Having the walls outside the back re-grouted as damp is coming into the kitchen. Left the builders to it this morning while we nipped out to Ikea. What a fun way to end the holidays Came back and they'd left the back door wide open. The entire kitchen is covered with a hicks layer of red dust. The floors, the kitchen sides, the shelves and everything on them etc etc. The cleaner came yesterday. The house was immaculate. We have friends coming round for dinner tonight. It gets worse. They obviously came in to use the toilet. They didn't remove their shoes. There are muddy footprints all up the stair carpet. They didn't shut the kitchen door when they walked back through it so there is also dust up the stairs and into the lounge. I am raging. DP has sent me to the park with the dog while I attempt to calm down. I haven't calmed down.

They need to pay for a carpet cleaner then. that is out of order. and leaving the door open? in this cold? not to think of the security! I'm right there with you!!!

OMG that is outrageous! Is your DH going to call them to sort it out? Be sure to take photos before you start cleaning (if you'd planned to do any of it yourself)

Barking - I would be hitting the roof, hope it's getting sorted for you, shitty builders.
Sid - need to ask for thyroid function tests. This will include thyroid stimulating hormone and the levels of the actual thyroid hormone being released. If the thyroid hormone levels are low there should be no question of you getting thyroxine, if the stimulating hormone is low that's when you will need to push for thyroxine as the fertility clinic suggest a much lower level than the gps will tolerate. Good luck!

barking I would be absolutely livid. I felt angry just reading your post. Idiots! Hope you manage to get it sorted before your friends arrive.

I'm going to go home tonight and raise a glass to Dr Robert Edwards for giving thousands of couples/individuals the opportunity to have a child when they thought all hope was lost.

Well said Sidney, very articulate Good luck at the docs.

Barking you have every right to be apoplectic, I would be definitely. Brick dust is heinous stuff and it gets everywhere, I can only imagine the mess!

Cheers Yorkie I'll join you in raising a glass of favourite red wine herbal tea to a great man. RIP Dr Edwards.

Oh balls! I posted this morning and it's gone!

Had my day20 test today, I wonder what it will show, do I want it to show ov or not?!?

Hey berries, hope you are all having a fun Friday night (even if it does signal the end of the holidays fellow teachers). Hope you have got your house sorted barking, I would be fuming too.

So had my first blood test this morning, and nurse said she was testing for testosterone, thyroid stuff and progesterone, but she was very brisk and I felt too intimidated to ask any questions. So could any of you more experienced berries explain what they will be looking for? Is the testosterone test to see if I have PCOS? And I know lots of you have been talking about thyroid issues for a while, but I don't really know much about this. How do thyroid issues affect TTC? Thanks in advance for any help. I'm such a wuss, I always feel too embarrassed to ask questions or push my point when I'm at the doctors. Guess I'm going to have to grow a pair if I need more tests etc. in future. (Or not, I imagine suddenly developing a pair of testicles could well hinder the baby making process even further!)

Hello all,

How did it go at the dr, sid? I hope you got what you needed?
barking what happened with the builder? Brick dust is horrid stuff - I'd be livid too. Do they have brains at all? Good idea to take pictures. I also like that you listen to Radio 2....my fave!

So, I went to the consultant last night. Bloods were normal - had high estrogen and LH, which fits with having had af when i did. Also, got a smiley opk that day and ewcm - so nice to see that it all ties together.

Scan showed some follicles on my ovaries, so a slight case of PCOS, but not supported by blood results. Could just be down to not having had a period for a while and the follies being there waiting. I'm going back for a day 21 progesterone test on my third cycle after the amenorrhoea. Other than that, keep dtd to 'expose myself to a natural event'. No answers, as such, but no reasons to worry either.

Due to the law of sod, I have also come across an advert for a teacher in a school that sounds ideal! Grrrr.
Any Friday evening plans?

Barking that is absolutely awful!! What a nightmare. I do think they need to pay for the cleaning.

Just an update BBT arrived today along with long lost AF (CD42 wtf) I'm delighted to get started again poor DH had himself convinced I was pg.
Going to take temps at 6.30am so I take it any temps recorded outside of that time will screw up the chart??