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Original poster

Vomit phobia

153 replies

Lauren2105 · 09/05/2006 14:40

I am not sure if this is the correct place to post this thread but maybe someone will have some idea!

Basically, since I was 15 I have had a phobia of sick. Sounds really stupid as noone likes sick of course but I am soooo scared of it!

I have had homeopathy medicine and hypnotherapy treatment to try and overcome this horrid phobia but they didn't work.

My husband and I are starting ttc in the very near future and I went to my doctor for a checkup etc and inform him of ttc. I also mentioned my phobia and said that I am worried regarding morning sickness and when kids are ill. He said that he will send me for some counselling when I actually fall pregnant.

I am fine with baby sick as looks just like milk but am worried re morning sickness during pregnancy and when kids are older. I couldn't bear to think of me leaving my kids throwing up - what an awful mum I would be!!

Does anyone have any ideas of what I could do now and if anyone has a similar phobia I would be so grateful for some advice.

Similarly if anyone knows if there is a better place to post this thread please tell me!

Thanks for listening and hopefully understanding.

Blush
OP posts:
crazydazy · 11/05/2006 22:04

I've got off buses many a time too skribble Grin also have been staring at someone cos they looked ill and they have then turned to me and gave me a filthy look Blush would then feel better cos I would think they wouldn't give me a dirty look if they felt that ill Grin

martian · 12/05/2006 09:54

I tend to have got on and off buses mostly when I'm frightened I'll be sick, even if I don't feel sick! I'm another London-based person and I rarely go on the tube because I'm so scared I'll feel sick down there.

lorre · 12/05/2006 10:24

I'm another one who suffers with this. After reading this, I cannot believe how common it is - thought I was the only one !. I haven't been sick for 15 years (touch wood) and I think this is because I haven't allowed myself to be. Since having my Ds the phobia has lessened but i do dread the day that he catches a bug - I'll probably run a mile. Do your families/DH's all know about your fears ? - I have kept mine fairly well hidden - my mum knows and my DH, although I don't think he realises the extent of my phobia.
Lauren - don't let it put you off having a baby - I wasn't sick at all during my pregnancy even though I felt very sick at times (& I had a very difficult delivery) but I think even if I was, the end result was well worth it !

martian · 12/05/2006 11:43

My dp knows I have this phobia although I do hide from him how badly it affects me because it gets on his nerves that I'm such a neurotic about it all the time. Mostly I keep it to myself. But it's a lonely struggle at times.

crazydazy · 12/05/2006 12:20

Same here Martian, he makes it sound like its nothing when in fact is a big deal for us.

He's got so much better than when we first met though and he's always been there for the kids. He lets them puke down his back so he can cuddle them.....think that is disgusting.

DumbledoresGirl · 12/05/2006 12:59

Pity me Cd then: my dh is about to go to China and will be away for 9 nights. I am in a complete funk about it now and he hasn't even gone yet. And all because a child might be sick. Nothing else abotu being on my own worries me. In fact, if someone from the future could come and tell me now that everyone was going to be fine for the next 2 weeks, I would probably even enjoy the time on my own.

I suppose everyone feels their phobia is the worst, but I really do think I drew the short straw when I got this one. Sad

martian · 12/05/2006 13:44

DG, I think it's a bloody awful phobia. I mean you can avoid 'spiders' but how can you avoid stomachs???!!

Whenever dp has to go away I go to my mum's which is a pain as she's a 3-hour train ride away and the train journey is very stressful to do alone with dd. But better than being home alone ... Sad

Original poster
Lauren2105 · 12/05/2006 14:49

Hey there everyone. Sorry I have been so slow at responding! I am in Scotland at the moment - arrived this morning. I was petrified this morning when I got to checkin at airport and lady said I couldn't sit next to my dh - kicked up stink and they let us sit together and me next to window. Yeah! When got on plane there was hardly anyone on there so was so relieved!

I'll post again on Monday when I am home from my trip.

I think we should meet up - I'm in the Essex area if anyone is local?

x

OP posts:
DumbledoresGirl · 12/05/2006 16:16

martian, would do that only my children are aged between nearly 10 and 3 so at school etc. You keep doing that while you can, even with the tough journey. Everything gets harder once they start school. Sad

crazydazy · 12/05/2006 19:07

Oh DG I do feel sorry for you, I cannot imagine having to cope on my own for that long and I know what you mean about being able to see into the future, I think like that too.

I have stayed with my sister when DP has worked away in the past but I hate staying at other people's houses, I like my own house where I feel the safes and I know that ultimately if my kids are ill no matter where we are they will always want me to comfort them if DP is not around not anyone else.

snuffy143 · 12/05/2006 19:21

I am totally with you DG - my husband works away sometimes, too. I only poop myself about the sick thing. Otherwise, I love it, TBH - nice to have peace to do nothing if I want. But I would love the fortune telling thing - to know the kids will be fine so I can enjoy some time to myself. The reality is that I am awake all night, jump at the slightest noise etc. And that is knowing Mum will come if I need her. Aaaaaaargh!

martian · 12/05/2006 22:13

DG, I know it will get harder when dd's at school full-time. At the moment she's only there for the morning and they're not so strict about taking time off.

Just out of interest here, do any of you have any other phobias / fears? I'm quite agoraphobic. And I get bothered with obsessive thoughts of something terrible happening to dd. It was worst when she was a baby, I'd lie awake for hours imagining someone grabbing her, her falling in the lake in the park, etc. etc. Even now I find my mind wandering to such troubling scenarios.

I'm asking because i'm curious to see if this phobia is part of a generally obsessive-type of temperament. There's so little written about it from a psychological perspective, like why do we have it, what's it's really all about, etc. The only thing I really come up with again and again is that it's to do with control and fear of loss of control. Although i feel it's something much more than that as well.

Skribble · 12/05/2006 23:09

No I don't have anyother phobias, I did have a problem with lifts for a while but I seemed to have got over that one too, just stopped being something I worried about.

So no, no other irrational or obsesive behaviours, but then the sick thing with me was never a hygeine thing it was just a gagging thing.

Ellbell · 13/05/2006 00:16

Hiya

I am also a closet emetophobe, and have been watching this thread with interest.

I'm not as terrified as some on this thread, but I do go into panic mode if sick is mentioned. Just wanted to post tonight as have been for a rare night out with some other mums from dd's nursery. Just as we were leaving one of the mums mentioned that she had been sick last night in the night (I'd still be in bed at this stage if it was me!) and was feeling a bit queasy (this was after a full meal and several glasses of wine). I am now terrified and know that I'm going to be feeling nauseous for the next couple of days knowing that I've been sitting next to her all evening. Stupid, I know, but I hope some of you will understand.

My dds do understand that I'm not good with puke. Dd2 has had a couple of bugs recently and has got quite good at aiming at the loo and flushing it away afterwards. I wish I could be more empathetic, but I really can't.

Anyway, just had to offload about my stress-making evening out. I know dh won't understand why I'm worried.

naswm · 13/05/2006 08:04

Ellbell you poor thing. I can empathise with you totally. I would have felt exactly the same as you did last night. I hope you feel lightly better this morning. I know it will take time. What I do at times like that is to keep telling myself over and over that my thoughts and worries are irrational, and that I will be okay. Even if the worst happens. But I know from where are sitting this morning that is probably little comfort for your nervous, anxious state. Hang in there and report back. I have not read all this thread (as I cant deal with too much detail) but I am watching it and scan each post to see if it is safe for me to read. lol. big hug naswm x

DumbledoresGirl · 13/05/2006 08:37

Oh Ellbell, yes I would be feeling as anxious as you if that situation. I become very aggressive in the face of my phobia (again not nice when it is one of my children feeling sick as I shout at them a lot, although I do seem to go into a sort of overdrive when they are actually being sick and, as long as it is into the loo or a bucket etc, I can do the comforting thing). Anyway, in the case of your friend, I would be inwardly very angry with her for going out and mixing with me and putting me in danger of catching something from her. I wouldn't express my anger to her, but I might hint at it to another one in the group. I seriously think my attitude to vomiting is one of the things that stops me making friendshiiiips, and re-reading what I have just written, I am not surprised!

Re other phobias. Yes, I am claustrophobic, but it is not in anyway severe, ie I can go in lifts with no problems although I suppose I experience a very low level of anxiety if they are very full. Basicaly my claustrophobia is such that I wouldn't go pot holing and I don't like it when, in play, one of my children puts a blanket over my head (although I often sleep with the blankets over me!) I hate tight clothes getting stuck over my head as I am taking them off, and I do find I panic in games like blind man's bluff (not that I play that as an adult, but remembering back to a child!) as somehow a blindfold makes me feel like I am suffcating.

I don't want to be too graphic and upset the likes of naswm (hello BTW!) but thinking about it, one of the things I hate about vomiting is the sense of suffocation so maybe these phobias are related. Also, in normal like, I am very controlling, so that part fits me too.

Do any of you feel that if you could talk theis phobia through and really analyse what it is about and why you have it, that might help you start to be cured? Has anyone had that sort of therapy before? What is it called, does anyone know? I feel there are false connections being made in my brain that make me fear the whole vomiting thing, and I feel that if the connections could be identified and somehow addressed, I might be all right.

DumbledoresGirl · 13/05/2006 08:39

That should say (third paragraph) in normal life.

crazydazy · 13/05/2006 09:09

I have a fear of flying too and not too keen on taking the kids swimming either oh and I don't like spiders but would not consider them phobias though, just mild fear.

I don't worry about catching bugs off other people really as I was told that the only way you can actually catch bugs is you actually come into contact with them through touch or when the actual vomit itself comes into contact with you, as there are airborne molecules in the air.

Mind you I did catch a bug a couple of weeks ago and I don't know where I caught it, am quite obsessive over details of how and why you catch bugs too.

blueteddy · 13/05/2006 09:20

I can empathise with you, Ellbell. I would be feeling very anxious too.
I went round to visit a friend a few weeks back & she mentioned that she had been sick the previous night. She thought it was food poisioning, but all I kept thinking was "What if it is a bug?" & was paranoid for the next few days that I would come down with it.
Not sure where my phobia comes from. I remember not really having a problem until the age of 8, when I saw my younger sister vomit all over the carpet & it really frightened me.
The last time I was sick (when I was a child), I also felt panicked that I would suffocate.
I am slightly claustrophobic too & quite a panicky person (I have had spells of panic attacks), so maybe these things are all related.

crazydazy · 13/05/2006 09:30

Can't believe you have the same phobia as me Blueteddy, I think we have a lot in common Smile

blueteddy · 13/05/2006 09:33

It seems we do!
This is the first time I have openly admitted it though. I guess I want to come across as a Mum who copes, when actually I'm not!
Are you going to try & get to the summer meet up?

crazydazy · 13/05/2006 10:19

Oh yes I would love to come as coming to London in itself would be great as we have never been but meeting everyone from Mumsnet would be an added bonus. We are thinking of making a weekend of it tbh, it would have been nice to come on my own with the kids as I have noticed not that many will be taking their partners but don't think I dare brave the big city on my own Smile

Am looking forward to meeting so many people on here as the people I seem to talk to on Mumsnet or get on with are all from London apart from Dumbledoresgirl but she's down south too.

Yes better get my bum in gear and start sorting out somewhere to stay.

blueteddy · 13/05/2006 10:39

There seem to loads of MN'ers in London, don't there?
Most of the MN'ers I talk to come from London too.
I find London a bit scary on my own, especially the tube! I live in Kent (around a 1.5 -2hr drive away from London), but am feeling quite determined that I am going to brave this meet up alone with the boys, as I really enjoyed the Christmas one. Might pay out for a cab rather than use the tube though!

blueteddy · 13/05/2006 10:40

Hope you can make it - it would be great to meet you.Smile

naswm · 13/05/2006 10:42

you are barve girls . I couldn't cope with a meet up. (And I'm in London btw). And DG isn't down south any more fwiw. Got to back to the cleaning...