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Original poster

Vomit phobia

153 replies

Lauren2105 · 09/05/2006 14:40

I am not sure if this is the correct place to post this thread but maybe someone will have some idea!

Basically, since I was 15 I have had a phobia of sick. Sounds really stupid as noone likes sick of course but I am soooo scared of it!

I have had homeopathy medicine and hypnotherapy treatment to try and overcome this horrid phobia but they didn't work.

My husband and I are starting ttc in the very near future and I went to my doctor for a checkup etc and inform him of ttc. I also mentioned my phobia and said that I am worried regarding morning sickness and when kids are ill. He said that he will send me for some counselling when I actually fall pregnant.

I am fine with baby sick as looks just like milk but am worried re morning sickness during pregnancy and when kids are older. I couldn't bear to think of me leaving my kids throwing up - what an awful mum I would be!!

Does anyone have any ideas of what I could do now and if anyone has a similar phobia I would be so grateful for some advice.

Similarly if anyone knows if there is a better place to post this thread please tell me!

Thanks for listening and hopefully understanding.

Blush
OP posts:
blueteddy · 09/05/2006 17:01

Not working - drinking!

crazydazy · 09/05/2006 17:04

Your mate must be mad Grin, they are ill on a weekly basis at DD's school in reception, I take my hat off to her, she's a brave woman.

DD's reception class teacher at home time walked out of the class covered in the stuff once, I was traumatised for weeks and hated DD going to school.

I stuff my kids with vitamins though and thankfully they have both been really well (touch wood).

crazydazy · 09/05/2006 17:06

Yes I don't mind going to pubs, am always a bit dubious at the end of the night about walking into the loos but generally am okay and still drink myself and enjoy getting slightly drunk so I guess I am quite fortunate that I am not as bad as others.

blueteddy · 09/05/2006 17:12

Yes, reception children are a nightmare for vomiting without warning!
I work in year 2, where they are slightly better at warning you before the event!
I give my DS's an actimel drink in their packed lunch every day - friendly bacteria & all that!
My DS1 used to suffer terribly with tonsilitis & ear infections, both of which would include several vomiting sessions. I had to deal with it, as H is so squemish that he refuses point blank.
For the first couple of years of DS1's life I did have disposible gloves at the ready though.Blush

Hausfrau · 09/05/2006 17:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

blueteddy · 09/05/2006 17:24

Wow! I wish my children would just deal with being sick. My DS1 hates being sick (think he takes after his Mummy) & will fight it, but by fighting it he refuses to get to an appropriate place, as this means in his head that he is going to be sick (which he is), so he throws up in his bed, on the sofa etc, etc.
I have made my hands sore where I wash them with so much anti-bacterial soap after!

DumbledoresGirl · 09/05/2006 17:39

Well a few of my dear friens have come here to answer some of your queries Lauren. Hi guys!

One thing I would say Lauren with regards pregnancy and labour: it doesn't have to have anything to do with feeling sick or being sick. I never felt sick and I had an epidural with my dd and today is the first I have heard of anyone being sick after an epidural! One thing you should know is in your favour: as an emetophobe, you will probably be very good at suppressing the desire to be sick and so might not succumb where others would. I don't think it is a coincidence that many emetophobes haven't been sick for years and years (apart from 3 occasions when I was a student and ate rich food after a diet of baked beans on toast!, I haven't been sick since I was 9 - now 41). There have been plenty of occasions when I have felt sick and perhaps should have been sick, but I held it in.

Dealing with your children is another thing though. of course all children get ill at times. If you have a pretty strong stomach you can comfort yourself that your children might too. That seems to be the case with my children who catch less bugs than others. Unfrotunately, that doesn't help me very much because I not only fear the event, but fear the awaiting of the event too IYSWIM. In that way, my phobia is ever present every day in a way that it wasn't before I had children.

But some people have said that having children cured them of their phobia, so who knows? You might be lucky.

DumbledoresGirl · 09/05/2006 17:48

Oh and BTW I was a teacher before I had my children - how brave am I? Actually, I began to get worse just before I left teaching to have my own children so I don't know that I was that brave.

It always makes me smile when these emetophobe threads come up. It is funny (in a way) reading comments and completely relating to them, eg blueteddy's son refusing to acknowledge he feels sick - I hated as a child having a bucket put in front of me as I felt it made it inevitable that I would be sick. I also couldn't do certain jobs: hospital worker, cleaner of any description etc. I cannot go into a public loo without first pushing the door open and peeking in to check no-one has been sick in it after I once walked in to a scene I could not begin to describe to you now.

Oh and now that my eldest is 9, I have told him of my phobia. I don't want him thiking my reaction is normal so I sat him down and explained it to him, telling him it was not the right way to react to vomiting. He also understands now why I get so hysterical when dh goes away (as he does a lot). he knows it is because I am afraid one of them will be sick. I don't suppose that will make any difference if he feels ill, but I didn't want him thinking I got hysterical because I am completely unhinged, or there is anything else to be scared of (like dh is going to a dangerous place, etc). Sorry to ramble, must go and do dinner now.

fredbassett · 09/05/2006 17:48

I'm not phobic to the extent that you girls are but I hate it, I managed for years not to throw up but have recently been able to do it, I never wanted to not be able to as it hurts so much more keeping a bug inside doesn't it? Blush

The trouble I have is that if I see someone throw up it makes me feel sick too and cruelly my mind replays it over and over!! - Why does that happen???

A few months ago in Dublin this guy decided to throw up at the table in McD's - I just wanted to go and punch him, it was the middle of the day and full of families but he just sat there made no attempt to move somewhere - I was so angry with him as all I had in my head for the rest of the weekend was that image!!Angry

naswm · 09/05/2006 18:24

Hi all. I am a closet emetephobe I can't write about how I deal with it (or dont deal with it) or how or why it started for me. Unlike some people on MN it doesn't help me to read and write all about it etc. I will just say though Lauren that you could be me. But I now have 2 DSs (one of whom had severe gastric reflux) and both of whom have on going medical issues and been ill more times than I can remember now. So it IS possible to do this. Hang in there. No quick tips but lots and lots of empathy x

snuffy143 · 09/05/2006 19:33

Really interesting to read all these posts - not been on MN long so haven't ever seen anything like this! Sometimes I feel like I am mad...but clearly not!
Yes, Hausfrau, it is great and crap all rolled into one that DD is so capable about sick. Feel guilty that I have had to make a little one be like that.
Am amazed to read the number of 'us' who are teachers - I am, too! Secondary, though, so have luckily never had any events in my classroom! It does affect whether I go on school trips - the travel sick thing again. I have led several ski trips but have deliberately also had great colleagues with me who know what their responsibilities are, IYKWIM!!
I totally agree with DumbledoresGirls about the fear of the event and all that! I so often wish I could see into the future so I could take evasive action any time needed! Ho Hum!

mrsbabookaloo · 09/05/2006 20:13

Hi everyone, I am AMAZED to see this thread: me too! I haven't read the whole post, but had to just join in! I am terrified of being sick and of seeing other people be sick. I think I've never really been a big drinker because I hate the thought of being sick so much, and when I am on a bus or tube late on a Friday or Saturday, I scan around to see who looks like they might be really drunk and try to be really far away from them, or near the door. If I think someone might be sick, my heart starts beating really fast.

I feel awful when someone close to me says they feel sick, because instead of feeling sorry for them, I just think, "I want to run away".

So I was worried about this when trying to conceive, but I just went into denial and thought, it won't happen to me. It did. In a big way. I was throwing up most days from 5-17 weeks. All I can say, lauren2105, is that it was awful, but I'm still alive. I thought throwing up so much (in the morning at home, jumping off the bus to throw up, throwing up at work) might cure me of my phobia, but it hasn't, and I'm a bit worried about throwing up during labour (I'm 36 weeks pg).

I'm not so worried about my child/children being sick: I think baby sick is different anyway, and I think (hope) I'll feel differently because they'll be my kids.

I think the only way to look at it is that you wouldn't give up on the chance of having children because of this phobia would you?....so, you just have to go for it.

And you might not get morning sickness at all. Most women don't.

crazydazy · 09/05/2006 20:58

Yes you are right Mrs Baboolooka it doesn't put you off having children, I knew I would have children and knew the phobia would not stop that but feel I am so very lucky that I have a supportive DP who helps me look after children - he can't deal with the other end (runs) and thats my department so thats fine by me.

I think we are lucky with our kids not getting ill because we take those extra measures in keeping the bugs away.

Its amazing how many of us there are.

I think like DG and Snuffy I will tell my children as they get older that it is just something I don't like but not something to be afraid of, I try my best anyway for them not to see my fear but DD is quite frightened when she feels ill but think this is because its so long since she has been sick she's forgotten how she reacts iyswim?

Original poster
Lauren2105 · 09/05/2006 21:05

Hi everyone - sorry it took me so long to reply - been ironing and doing the dinner!

It is so encouraging to read that you all experience situations the same as me but it doesn't take away my emotional pain. It does make me understand myself more though.

Alot of you have written in with your phobia but haven't stated whether you are trying to put it right - I want to try and sort this out but don't know where to start.

I have a friend who tells me that its so awful to see her childern being sick (i never used to be able to even say this word so am very proud of myself!) and she would rather take it away from them and that you just deal with it.

I am so desperate to have children and after reading all your comments I am not going to let this phobia take that away from me so thank you.

DH and I have a laugh - I've said i'll deal with the nappies and DH will deal with the sick!

Please keep telling me your stories as I am finding it so encouraging.

OP posts:
DumbledoresGirl · 09/05/2006 21:24

Lauren I have approached my GP about dealing with my phobia, but the CPN I was referred to wasn't able to do anything to help me except suggest I approach a self help support group. TBH, I don't think there are many cures around for this. I know several sufferers who have tried various therapies and no-one seems to have a cure.

My life would not be too bad if my dh did not go away for work so often. Like other people here, I am married to a man who deals with the children when they are sick, but of course only when he is here. I would like a cure, but I also don't really believe there is one for me so I am rather sadly just waiting for my children to be old enough to not cause me any problems in this department. I am hopeful that teenagers will either not be ill or will be able to reach the loo in time. My eldest son is nearly 10 so hopefully I don't have too far to go with him.

Like everyone else, I was determined not to let my phobia stand in the way of having children. You can't let it do that, can you?! And baby sick, whilst it is milk, is no big deal. Only experience will tell you whether knowing it is your children you are dealing with helps the phobia or not.

Oh and a message for Mrsbabookaloo: I have only ever known one friend be sick during labour and she had just eaten an enormous meal. Keep your meals small and light but frequent (to keep up your strength) and stay off Pethadine if you know you are susceptible to feeling sick with it. One of my labours, I had Meptid (spelling?) because it was recommended as a pain killer that does not make people feel sick - not that Pethidine bothered me either, but I wanted to try something else.

mixedemotions123 · 10/05/2006 06:38

Hi Lauren, just a quick tip re morning sickness. I was terrified when I was pg, not of labour, but sickness. My midwife recommended travel sickness bands. I wore them religiously throughout both pregnancies, and only ever felt sick, never actually DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I had epidural with first labour and don't recall feeling sick. With second I refused pethidine {sp} as I too heard that it made you feel sick. Tried to stick to gas and air, felt sick, so the midwife gave me pethidine anyway.Grin. Wasn't sick Smile.

threebob · 10/05/2006 07:05

My emetophobia was linked to being sick on holidays and getting shouted at. Living in London and travelling by tube was more than I could bear - I always wondered who was going to be sick next. Films ATM all seem to have one sick scene in them - it's making renting DVDs a very unpleasant leisure activity - even though I know it's not real.

I wasn't sick whilst pg - wore the bands. It takes a lot for me to actually be sick, when I got gastric flu I only vomited once - dh seemed to be always being sick.

Ds has vomited a few times - but I have always had someone else there and I let them deal with it.

I can highly recommend probiotics for strengthening the gut and making gastric upsets more short lived.

Hausfrau · 10/05/2006 10:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

martian · 10/05/2006 10:28

My phobia started when I was about 8. It was so consuming that I spent my entire school life not eating or drinking during the day at school for fear of being sick there. And the rest of my life carried on in much the same way, starving during the day, only daring to eat 'safe' foods during the evening at home. I think I was only sick around 3 times EVER as a child. The last time was when I was about 7.

The thought of getting pregnant was abhorrent to me because of the possibility of morning sickness. But, age 37, I got pregnant. I still hadn't been sick once since age 7. Somewhere inside me I wanted a child so much we decided to go ahead with it. The first six weeks were fine but then on my way to work one morning I retched, nothing came up, just a retch, but it was the start of a very bad few months of 'morning sickness' in which I was sick almost constantly until 5 months pregnant. The funny thing is that if I think about it now it's a nightmare and if I'd foreseen it I'd have been petrified, but at the time I did manage with it quite well. I think part of it was that I knew what it was and I learnt to recognise how it felt. It also was never like the sickness you get with a tummy bug, no pain etc. It went completely at 5 months pregnant.

I'd always thought that perhaps my phobia was due to my not having been sick for so many years but I can honestly say that being sick for 5 months in a row all day every day did nothing to cure me. I'm as phobic as ever. It also, negatively, destroyed my idea that I was 'immune' from vomiting and I've had a couple of really nasty tummy bugs since during which I've vomited a lot and suffered terrible emotional set-backs because of them. Positively I can tell you that morning sickness had no such negative effect on me, it really was manageable. And I think I'm about as emetophobic as they come.

I never usually post on MN but I couldn't resist this thread. It's fascinating to hear other people's stories, I never knew there were so many sufferers around.

I don't have a problem with dd being sick except that I worry about catching something from her. But she's only been sick once and she's 4 now. My fear is entirely to do with me being sick, and generally me being sick away from home / in public.

It's a horrible, life-destroying phobia that has seriously had me quite disabled at times and left me drastically underweight and not able to enjoy many things I'd love to enjoy.

Sorry for the ramble.

DumbledoresGirl · 10/05/2006 11:07

I am thrilled that this thread has reched the homepage and would like to thank Mumsnet for putting it there. I first admitted to my phobia here (with great difficulty) about 2 years ago and since then, there have been a few threads and fellow emetophobes have come out into the open and admitted to feeling the same. I have tried to contribute to every emetophobia thread as I know how much it helps me to talk to other sufferers about my phobia and would do anything in my power to help others like me.

Putting this thread on the homepage and using the name emetophobia really helps to bring this condition to the attention of the public and can only help emetophobes in the long run. It saddens me so much when people say I had no idea how many sufferers there are out there who felt the same way as me. That is because we are all ashamed and

DumbledoresGirl · 10/05/2006 11:07

I am thrilled that this thread has reched the homepage and would like to thank Mumsnet for putting it there. I first admitted to my phobia here (with great difficulty) about 2 years ago and since then, there have been a few threads and fellow emetophobes have come out into the open and admitted to feeling the same. I have tried to contribute to every emetophobia thread as I know how much it helps me to talk to other sufferers about my phobia and would do anything in my power to help others like me.

Putting this thread on the homepage and using the name emetophobia really helps to bring this condition to the attention of the public and can only help emetophobes in the long run. It saddens me so much when people say I had no idea how many sufferers there are out there who felt the same way as me. That is because we are all ashamed and

DumbledoresGirl · 10/05/2006 11:07

I am thrilled that this thread has reched the homepage and would like to thank Mumsnet for putting it there. I first admitted to my phobia here (with great difficulty) about 2 years ago and since then, there have been a few threads and fellow emetophobes have come out into the open and admitted to feeling the same. I have tried to contribute to every emetophobia thread as I know how much it helps me to talk to other sufferers about my phobia and would do anything in my power to help others like me.

Putting this thread on the homepage and using the name emetophobia really helps to bring this condition to the attention of the public and can only help emetophobes in the long run. It saddens me so much when people say I had no idea how many sufferers there are out there who felt the same way as me. That is because we are all ashamed and

DumbledoresGirl · 10/05/2006 11:07

I am thrilled that this thread has reched the homepage and would like to thank Mumsnet for putting it there. I first admitted to my phobia here (with great difficulty) about 2 years ago and since then, there have been a few threads and fellow emetophobes have come out into the open and admitted to feeling the same. I have tried to contribute to every emetophobia thread as I know how much it helps me to talk to other sufferers about my phobia and would do anything in my power to help others like me.

Putting this thread on the homepage and using the name emetophobia really helps to bring this condition to the attention of the public and can only help emetophobes in the long run. It saddens me so much when people say I had no idea how many sufferers there are out there who felt the same way as me. That is because we are all ashamed and

DumbledoresGirl · 10/05/2006 11:07

I am thrilled that this thread has reched the homepage and would like to thank Mumsnet for putting it there. I first admitted to my phobia here (with great difficulty) about 2 years ago and since then, there have been a few threads and fellow emetophobes have come out into the open and admitted to feeling the same. I have tried to contribute to every emetophobia thread as I know how much it helps me to talk to other sufferers about my phobia and would do anything in my power to help others like me.

Putting this thread on the homepage and using the name emetophobia really helps to bring this condition to the attention of the public and can only help emetophobes in the long run. It saddens me so much when people say I had no idea how many sufferers there are out there who felt the same way as me. That is because we are all ashamed and

quanglewangle · 10/05/2006 11:08

Mine started when I was about 10 in assembly at school. I glanced sideways to see what was going on and saw someone being copiously sick. Horrendous, couldn't go into assemly after that, and if I did I would imagine I felt sick and have to leave. That situation couldn't continue at secondary school though, far too embarassing, so I learnt to differentiate between real nausea and imagined i.e. panic. I just asked myself if I wanted to lie down or not. If I didn't despearately need to lie down then it wasn't nausea. It was still a daily ordeal though, and Thursday was particularly bad as it was always a long assembly.

I haven't been sick since I was 8. I don't have to suppress it I just can't. Any retching is unproductive. I rarely feel sick though, any bug seems to content to escape from the other end!!

However, here is some good news. Having children has reduced my phobia to manageable proportions. Every time I dealt with sickness I made a point of congratulating myself. I couldn't leave it all to dh as they always chose to be sick when he was away. I also realised that I never caught their bugs, prsumably becasue my hand washing was effective or I was immune. So my confidence has grown, though I still get the shakes and bale out to the spare room if dh hints that he isn't feeling well.

What about seeing vomiting on tv? It used to be a complete no-no, never shown, always off the screen, but not any more. I always look away even though I know it isn't real.