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Original poster

Vomit phobia

153 replies

Lauren2105 · 09/05/2006 14:40

I am not sure if this is the correct place to post this thread but maybe someone will have some idea!

Basically, since I was 15 I have had a phobia of sick. Sounds really stupid as noone likes sick of course but I am soooo scared of it!

I have had homeopathy medicine and hypnotherapy treatment to try and overcome this horrid phobia but they didn't work.

My husband and I are starting ttc in the very near future and I went to my doctor for a checkup etc and inform him of ttc. I also mentioned my phobia and said that I am worried regarding morning sickness and when kids are ill. He said that he will send me for some counselling when I actually fall pregnant.

I am fine with baby sick as looks just like milk but am worried re morning sickness during pregnancy and when kids are older. I couldn't bear to think of me leaving my kids throwing up - what an awful mum I would be!!

Does anyone have any ideas of what I could do now and if anyone has a similar phobia I would be so grateful for some advice.

Similarly if anyone knows if there is a better place to post this thread please tell me!

Thanks for listening and hopefully understanding.

OP posts:

naswm · 13/05/2006 11:44

Oh no now I am freaking out. Just heard that the teenager that both DSs played with yesterday at tea time (rough and tumble, cuddles etc, very close contact) has been ill since last night. panic has set in.

blueteddy · 13/05/2006 11:46

naswm, I was pertrified of going to the Christmas meet up & propably wouldn't have braved it if it wasn't for the fact that my friend (also a MN'er) came along with me to hold my hand!
As it happened it was fine, everyone was really lovely & I really enjoyed it.
I now feel fine about going to meet ups alone!

martian · 13/05/2006 14:08

DG I've spoken to an analyst for a number of years and previously had CBT and I have all kinds of possible explanations as to why I have this fear - loss of control (I imagine it might go on forever if I started being sick or it might suddenly come out of nowhere in a terrible situation where I'd hate it to happen), fear of humiliation (other people's disgust), well lots of things. It's hard to see the wood for the trees as I've had it for as long as I can remember. Anyway, for me, alas, having possible explanations hasn't got rid of the phobia. Aversion therapy I couldn't face and anyway I have been sick a couple of times since being pregnant and it hasn't cured me, just the opposite it's given me new memories to be tortured by.

On the subject of others with bugs, DG, I feel like you, I get very cross that people might 'expose' me. I was meant to meet up with a friend and her dd today in fact but her dd was sick on Thursday, nothing too awful from the sound of it and my friend said they were all better and fine to meet. I called it off, even if her dd is better she might be harbouring the bug. UGH. I'd spend the next week totally starving myself if we'd met up.

martian · 13/05/2006 14:12

by the way, what is the summer meet-up? has anyone got a link? I'm London-based too.

blueteddy · 13/05/2006 14:14

I will bump it up for you, martian.

blueteddy · 13/05/2006 14:17

Done it!

martian · 13/05/2006 19:04

thanks, I'll take a look. hope it's remained bumped

swossage · 13/05/2006 19:40

Don't know if this thread is dead re the sick phobia, but I've got it too! Can't remember exactly when it started, but haven't been sick for about 30 years, since childhood. Mind you, I must have thought about it every day since I was about 19 when I came across the word emetophobia in a magazine. I don't know why I am so afraid of being sick as I can remember the last time I was, aged about 9, and I didn't even cry. I think it is just the feelig of helplessness and not being able to breathe, also the smell and the mess obviously (sorry!).

It has eased off a bit since those days when I literally wouldn't eat or sleep in case I woke up suddenly and was sick. I always associated it with a sudden lurching up in bed. Nowadays I can bring myself (just) to look after my two girls (4 and 6 months) if they are sick. It is mostly me that I worry about and like many of you, I obsess about bugs at school or if I read about winter vomiting virus in the papers. As I said, things have improved since my early 20s, not really by doing anything but just trying to de-sensitise myself e.g. watching films I know have 'sick scenes' in them. When I first saw Witches of Eastwick at the cinema I thought I would die of a panic attack and more lately that character in Little Britain, but I have found if you force yourself to watch it, some of the power of the fear is removed. Also, when my eldest DD has been sick, the fact she is so brave and calm about it puts me to shame!

I would love to be free of this phobia which takes up so much energy and restricts my life. Everyone seems to say that therapy etc. cannot cure it but I think I need to try something soon. I wiuld rather suffer for days than just be sick and instantly feel better and always avoid things like ferries and fairground rides that may make me nauseous. I got through 2 pregnancies with lots of Polos and basically not eating much for the first 12 weeks!

I would love to hear any positive stories about people who have been able to leave emetophobia behind them...

crazydazy · 13/05/2006 19:51

I think you are extremely brave watching Little Britain, I cannot watch it at all even though its so unreal!!! Witches of Eastwick was horrible for me too but Hostel recently was by far the worst, if I'd have known the scenes in that I would never have watched it.

I wish my phobia was just limited to myself though as its my kids that I want to be able to deal with, mind you I am ill more than they are.

Blueteddy - its looking quite expensive at the moment to come down to London but am going to keep checking the train fares but yes it would be great to be there.

Original poster

Lauren2105 · 13/05/2006 19:57

What is the thread called regarding meeting up? Cannot seem to find it.

OP posts:

DumbledoresGirl · 13/05/2006 20:52

It is great to read more posts although I am of course sorry that there are so many emetophobes aout there. But I hope talking about it helps people to know they are not alone and that others have the same silly foibles etc.

I just wanted to say (totally off the point!) that I am still living down south naswm! As you know, I live near Bristol now, and if that is not in the south, I would like to know where it is! However, I wouldn't be able to go to one of those big meet ups - too shy for starters. Also, I am sorry if I am doing other Mners a misjustice, but I always get the impression they can become quite drunken affairs. Now drink and me as an emetophobe don't go together!

crazydazy · 13/05/2006 21:17

I think thats why my phobia isn't that bad when it comes to me being ill as I have always gone out drinking and got drunk, I have been sick twice from the effects of alcohol and very close a number of times. That was before kids of course, now I just can't handle feeling so ill the day after with two young children to look after so limit my drinking.

DG - I thought you had told me you lived near Bristol. It would be really nice to meet you though if you change your mind.

DP informs me that its the world cup final that weekend of the London meetup so we may have problems getting down there/getting somewhere to stay but will shop around anyway.

DumbledoresGirl · 13/05/2006 21:21

I shouldn't think it being the World Cup final w/e will make much difference to London CD. I mean, it is not as if England will be in the final is it?

crazydazy · 13/05/2006 21:22

Oooooh such a pessimist

DumbledoresGirl · 13/05/2006 21:23

Realist you mean!

nicand2 · 13/05/2006 22:06

Lauren 2015

I have just been reading your first few messages and can't believe how much your phobia sounds like mine, which is why I had to post this message as mine has gradually got better, if anything being a mum has put it into perspective.

My first pregnancy was a surprise so I didn't have time to worry. I'd always wanted to be a mum so knew it was something I'd have to face. I wasn't sick but had a few queasy days which I managed to control with snacks and sea bands.

My son is 18 months old now and has been ill a few times. Obviously I don't like it but like you didn't want to make him a nervous wreck. You honestly do just get on with it and most of the time I'm too busy to think about it!

I am now 18 weeks pregnant again and have been sick for a couple of days but I got through it (cried lots at the time though!!) If anything actually being sick puts it into perspective. Like you I spent years doing everything to avoid being sick and spent so much time worrying about it then when I actually have been sick it hasn't been anything like as bad as 10 years of worrying about it. In fact I feel so proud of myself for 'coping'

I don't think I will ever be 'cured' just yesterday I saw someone being sick and I was shaking for ages afterwards but in short my advice is 1)the years of worrying is the most torturous part 2) You will be so pleased/busy with your pregnancy/baby you will get through it and finally 3) The worst thing is you may be sick and in my case this has been the one thing that has truly helped me to get this phobia under control.

Good Luck

martian · 13/05/2006 22:28

swossage, I used to have that fear of being sick in the night when I was a child. I had such an odd routine: I didn't eat all day at school or drink (caused no end of problems with teachers and my parents) anything. Then when I got home I'd eat as much as I could between 4-6pm and then nothing else at all in the hope that by the time I went to bed I'd have digested it all and 'couldn't' be sick in the night. Someone somewhere told me that you digest most of your food within 4 hours (I know now it's more like 6 hours, thank goodness I didn't know that then!) so I figured that 6-10pm was digestion time and if I slept after 10pm I'd be 'safe.' That routine lasted literally from when I was around 8 until I left school at 16. Needless to say I was thin as a pin, had no periods til gone 18. This phobia has dictated what I do and how I do it ever since, rarely have I had periods of time when it's laid dormant.

Actually, Lauren, if it's any consolation, the year after dd was born was probably the best of my life. I don't know if it was breastfeeding hormones making me blissed out but I really did feel the phobia was in the background. Then when she was 13 months old she was taken to hospital with a chest infection and while in hospital we all got a really nasty tummy bug and were sick for days. That threw me back and I've never been the same again.

Ellbell · 13/05/2006 23:31

Hello! Just had to report back. Have been so busy today (dd1's birthday party) that I haven't had time to obsess too much about sick. Phew! I think my phobia has got much worse since I had kids, partly triggered by a nasty gastro-enteritis bug that we all got simultaneously when dd1 was 6 months old. She was really poorly (high temp, etc.) and I was so worried about her and how we'd get her to hospital or whatever if she needed to go while me and dh were also throwing up. It was the first time she'd been ill at all, so it was very scary. I was worried about it before that, but the real phobia kicked in from then on.

Interestingly, yes, I do have quite a lot of other phobias/fears (mostly manageable). These include rats, flying (though I do use planes occasionally), going underwater, and small spaces generally (I'll use lifts as long as they're not crowded; public loos are a bit of a nightmare, even if clean, especially if I have to take both dds in with me; aeroplane/train loos are a total no-no...). Recently I had a nasty experience with our dogs - the newer one (which we'd have for about 6 months) attacked our old dog really badly (old dog had to go to vets, new dog had to be rehomed) and I find that, although I love dogs and have had them for years and years, I am now a bit scared of dogs (although I suppose that's understandable and traceable to a single incident). I also find I rerun the attack on my old dog several times a day in my head and get very panicky about it (again, not a full-blown panic attack, but shaky and 'stressy'). I think I am just 'Of A Nervous Disposition'. Sick is the worst of all though....

Thanks to all you ladies for making me feel a bit more normal.

crazydazy · 14/05/2006 09:14

I totally believe that anxiety is within the person whichever way it shows itself, my Mum although didn't have emetophobia is anxious herself when she is sick. She is afraid of blood/injections etc and both my sisters have picked this up from her, my anxiety was just poured into my phobia. I always thought my mum was a nervy anxious person and I think I copied her ways to a certain extent. Although I am like this about sickness I don't think I am too bad with anything else so I am hoping that my kids do not grow up to be anxious in any kind of way.

My hypnotherapist told me that he could cure me within a day (ha ha) but then it would manifest itself in something else i.e agorophobia as the anxiety has to be released gradually.

It was £50 a session and after 6 sessions I stopped going because I didn't believe I was relaxing enough as I felt uneasy with the therapist himself.

Have seen a counsellor and she suggested breathing techniques I googled this and learnt to do this, it helped me a lot but obviously the phobia is still there.

DumbledoresGirl · 14/05/2006 12:12

Oh dear CD was that the therapist/therapy you weren't supposed to talk about to others as you underwent it? I did wonder how that had gone but didn't bother asking if you were cured as it is plain from your posts here that you are not!

crazydazy · 14/05/2006 16:31

Exactly, its a case of living with it for me I think and waiting for the kids to outgrow bugs.

snuffy143 · 14/05/2006 21:55

Yeah, same for me. DD is now 7 and I worry a lot less about her as she is independent when she is ill - just shout down to me that it has happened and goes back to bed. DS is 4 and getting there which is good. I am grateful that they understand that I don't 'do' sick just like Grandad doesn't 'do' blood and Daddy doesn't 'do' anything to do with ballet - hair and stuff. To see them accept it in the same way makes me feel slightly normal!!

martian · 14/05/2006 22:12

Generally, then, for those of you with a phobia more about others being sick than yourself, has it been worse since having kids? Didn't you have it before as well? I was just thinking that for me even when dd is bigger my phobia won't change because it's more to do with fear about myself. NO ESCAPE !! AGH !!! But I guess it will be easier to think she'll bring back less bugs to worry about ... Sigh ... Do any of you have any top tips for avoiding catching their bugs by the way?

snuffy143 · 14/05/2006 22:24

Dettol dsinfectant spray stuff on every surface (you don't wipt - just leave it to dry), steer well clear, face mask when clearing it up, lots of open windows, take them to my mother's, probiotic drinks every day (they seem to get over them quicker. DS only sick once with last bug, only let them use one loo (if you have more than one) and then clean and clean once it is over.

martian · 14/05/2006 22:35

snuffy, I can imagine you with an Emergency Kit of all the things you mention, on standby, just in case! Dd's only been sick this once and dp and I already had the bug so I didn't have to avoid it! I already feel like I wash my hands pretty excessively and I'm always conscious of whether or not dd's washed hers when she gets in from school before she eats anything.

Do you all think a lot about your kids' hygiene?

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