IVF

[Nerthus]

Is anyone doing this at the moment/has done it recently?? I'm in the middle of my first go and finding it quite stressful...

Nerthus - Im so so sorry. Just reading your note brought it all back.
I know this is no comfort to you now but there are lots if us IVF mums around who had failed attempts before getting pregnant.
Have you joined the organisation 'CHILD'? - its for people going through IVF. COsts about £15 a yr to join and you get newsletters with loads of info plus a helpline list of people you can ring who have gone through the same thing. I rang a couple of people on the list and it was so nice to chat through it all with someone who understood.
Be really kind to yourself over the next few days.
Thinking of you.
Kizziex

Sorry, Nerthus, so sorry.

Nerthus

I've only just seen this thread, I'm so very sorry things haven't gone according to plan this cycle. I can only imagine how devastating it must be for you and DH. Be gentle on yourself and don't be afraid to grieve.

Remember, it can and does turn out in the end so try to stay positive.

Lots of hugs and wishful babydust
WSM
xxx

Oh Nerthus, I'm so sorry to hear your news. Just give yourself time and space to accept this little setback and you'll soon be feeling positive about the way forward. Big hugs CM

Nerthus, I'm so sorry to hear your news. Pleas take care of yourself.

Thanks SO much everyone. Really appreciate your kind thoughts. A lot. And I may well contact that CHILD group, thanks for that Kizzie. I hadn't heard of them. I'm fairly OK really I suppose. I mean, I was Not Pregnant before and still Not Pregnant now, and I'm so used to things just not working out that I feel pretty philosophical, on one level anyway. It's just that with IVF one has gone through a lot of discomfort, hassle and expense for the privilege of being the same Not Pregnant as one was before rather than at least having some nice sex with one's DH in order to be Not Pregnant if you know what I mean! I must say though, my equilibrium was dented a bit when I got an email on Monday from an friend telling me excitedly that his wife is pregnant and due in August... but there you are.
Thanks for everything.

So sorry Nerthus. What bad luck. Can you try again soon or do you need to leave a gap?

Very sorry to hear your news. I was told that conception the first time is always difficult because they need to understand how your body is reponding to the drugs, and adjust accordingly. Not much consolation though. Being Still Not Pregnant is a very pragmatic approach...but our hearts are not so prosaic, are they? Do give yourself time before thinking of your next steps and take care.

So sorry to hear about all this, Nerthus. I know how you feel. Please be kind to yourself over the next few weeks, as, on top of the disappointment, one usually gets quite low because of all the hormones rushing around one's system after a failed round of IVF.
Thinking of you.

I've posted before about my friend - 41 single doing IVF on her own. First IVF attempt - only two eggs and neither fertilised - this time around she had four eggs and three have fertilised - grades one two and three - so far so great. She's due to have them put in this afternoon but has just been told that they'd expect them to be six cells by now and they're still only two - though still alive. Anyone else come across this/can shed any light? She's so nervous she's got an upset tummy and is also worried about the suppository thing that's supposed to prepare the womb lining (sorry if that's too graphic). the receptionist at the clinic (they couldn't find her a nurse!)told her to take it vaginally - but I'd have thought that was different...
Sorry two tricky questions - all help gratefully received

Not sure I quite know what the 2 questions are, but hope this helps:

Ideally the embryos will have cell divisions every 24-36 hours or so, so for a Day 2 transfer you are usually hoping for somewhere between 4 and 8 cells. Just becasue they're still at 2 cell this morning doesn't mean that they won't have divided by afternoon. If they don't divide though then they may not make it. If she had more embryos to choose from then they would usually go for those with the highest number of cells first, and then look at the grades second - ie you replace a Grade 3 6-cell before a Grade 1 4 cell.

It is impossible not to get caught up in looking at all of this - in reality you still can't tell what the outcome will be. If it is any help I went for Day 3 transfers (I had more embryos so we were seeing which were most likely to survive) and there you're looking for 12 cells: Ds1 can't have had more than 5 cells and may have had only 3 at that point and DS2 may have had 7....

As far as the pessaries are concerned you can take them either anally or vaginally, whichever you prefer. I went with the latter, and they were fine.

thank you so much for that - its exactly what she wanted to hear. Hers was a day three transfer I think - egg collection Friday - putting back in at lunchtime today

They'd definitely gone past two I think to four so not great. The doc told her under pressure tho that she only had a 6% of conceiving because of her age which she found disheartening but I keep telling her she's got this far which is further than last time... fingers crossed and thanks for replying

She's now panicking that she hasn't had enough time off work

Egg transfer was Monday afternoon and she went straight back in to work - had Tuesday lying down all day but had to go in again today and was sure she had some discharge and was imagining all sorts, seeing tiny sacs the works. I tried to point out that I don't think gravity has too much to do with it and she certainly wouldn't see anything that looked like anything at this stage - but anyone any tips on coping with this awful waiting stage and anyone know how important bed rest is - if at all?

Taking it easy may help mentally, but doesn't make any difference. It is all down to womb lining (and there the pessaries help) and chance. I did read that eating well (ie not starving or doing anything odd) was meant to help. Worrying about signs and symptoms at this stage is natural but not helpful - she'll just have to wait it out. If it is any use I think that I laid off the gym/swimming but otherwise life as normal (and second time round had a toddler so had all the carrying etc associated with that).

You're right - it's too early for "sacs" to be discharged. The embryo will have only just implanted today.

As for survival tips - I usually escaped into books for the 2 weeks, but back to back reruns of favourite videos etc may work. It is the longest 2 weeks ever....

I also spent time planning how I would treat myself if it didn't work. This started out with shellfish and champagne meals, but had my third IVF not worked I would have got an Audi TT. Wonder if DS1 will get a complex if I tell him this?

The nurse told me that, if the embryo implants, you could go bungee jumping without it making any difference. I didn't test this out, by the way.

I didn't go bungee jumping but did do rather a lot of physical work (sanding floors etc) because I was convinced it wouldn't work and it did. I believe it is very unlikely that there would be any signs in the first week anyway - more likely in the second and certainly no sacs. As to getting through it - plan nice things to do - watching films/going for a meal/manicure/pedicure, just lots of treats really + arranging to see people for lunch, whatever keeps you busy!

HI Nerthus.
I'm an 'old mumsnetter' ( in all senses!) I've been off the boards for a while now, mainly because I've had a year of constant ivf and started using the bulletin boards at www.CARE-ivf.com and there's not enough hours in the day to be addicted to two sites. Mumsnet is the best general mums' board around - but in the middle of ivf there's nothing like people going thru the same thing to give you the answers you need, if you have another cycle I can whole heartedly recommend it.
I have a 'natural' daughter aged 3 but since then dh's sperm have stopped swimming so it's icsi or nothing. I've had 3 full ivfs and a FET and will be doing another one in May. I'm having embryo screening next time ( hopeflly, you need a minimum of 6 embryos which has never been a problem before but you soon learn not to take anything for granted in this game...)as I'll be 40 in 2 week's time and it seems increasingly likely that we're putting the ''wrong'' ones back given my lack of success so far.
WE can only cross our fingers and keep signing the cheques!

Hey Bayleaf - good to see you back ... and glad to hear you sounding so cheerful and positive about the next round of icsi/IVF. When I had my successful cycle, collection and implant happened in the week following my 40th birthday so I'll be keeping everything crossed for you!

Heres to anyone doing ivf just now! i am in the middle of 2nd cycle and hve my first scan tomorrow. Anybody got any tips or help on the following: 1- think im going bonkers!!!!!trying not to look at jojobebemaman and ELC catalogue
2-trying to stay calm and have positive thoughts- but finding it hard to sleep
3- should we tell our adopted 8year old what is going on?? and why I am a bit looney t the minute

I know how you feel. I had dd after 6 rounds of IVF. My advice is to try not to think ahead much and take each part of the process at a time. I know it's very tempting to think that success at any part of this means success overall, but the hard reality is that most people get to the stage of embryo transfer - things go tend to go wrong afterwards. I wouldn't tell the 8 year-old, because of the odds against it working on any one cycle. Having said that, hugs to you and hope it works!

hi miracleabie, hope your scan went well today. I'm like OldieMum and had 6 cycles of IVF before I had my dd and I agree that you have to take one step at a time and try not to take big leaps into the future iykwim. Just be kind to yourself and remember that you are not 'a bit looney', you are going through a major mental and physical trauma in your life. Hopefully you have supportive family and friends around you .... best wishes CM x

thanks cookiem & oldie mum. Scan went OK although Dr. was a bit offhand. Still, seem to have lots of follicles which is good news. Have 2nd scan on Sunday . Dh keeps saying 'Eggs for Easter' but I have had a sense of humour bypass. Oh well. One day at a time. Thanks so much for support. Do feel les stressed today.

DP and I have decided that despite my very excessive weight, and on my gynae docs suggestion, that we are going to have an IVF attempt. It will be ICSI. I'm OK about it all, apart from the egg collection, is it as bad as you think it is going to be? Also I've already told dp I am going into it thinking it is going to work because if it doesn't I'll be no less devestated than if I kidded myself if wouldn't or might work.

Just waiting a call back from the unit next week to tell us when they can book us in. I'm so nervous

BeckiF, my IVF was all of the ICSI variety too. I found egg collection was fine - I had a general anaethetic so was blissfully unaware of anything! I seem to remember some pain afterwards - a bit like you've been kicked in the stomach, but it really wasn't too bad at all.
You're right to go into the whole thing with a positive attitude, but at the same time you need to be realistic and accept that it may not work first (or second) time.
Best wishes to you CM x

miracleabie, glad to hear your first scan was OK - good luck for Sunday. Also good to hear you're feeling a bit less stressed out - you know you can always come on here and vent when you need to