Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

TTC 10 + months, part 14 (eek)

999 replies

GinSoaked · 15/03/2013 10:03

A friendly, supportive thread for lovely ladies taking waaay longer than they ever expected to win their babies

OP posts:
EuroShaggleton · 03/04/2013 12:11

It's irritating. We used to work together but both left our old firm a few years ago. He's moving again to take this promotion. I'm pleased for him but feeling a bit left behind careerwise as well as babywise. There was one another people at our level at our old firm and she got a similar post a year or so ago (I was headhunted for it but dropped out of the process because I didn't think it was fair to start there and quickly head off on mat leave...). The guy who was just junior to the three of us was promoted to the same level a couple of months ago. So I am feeling very left behind and irritated with my current firm.

Welcome numbers. The acronyms on here aren't too tricky to work out I think.

Poutintrout · 03/04/2013 12:55

sar Is your appointment today? I hope that it goes well and that you get some positive news.
It is interesting what you say about microscopic tubal problems. I don't know what to think anymore about what the hell is going on with me. I think that for the first time I am leaning more towards it probably being an issue more on MrP's side with the added complication that being an oldie not all my eggs are tip top.
I am so sorry to hear that you have job uncertainties hanging over you. That is crappy timing especially when you are having the added expense of paying for hospital consultations. Big hugs.

Speaking of the job front euro I can totally understand how disillusioned you must be feeling right now. I would be hugely peeed off especially given the fact that you have pretty much worked through one of the most devastating periods of your life. You must be wondering why the hell you bothered. Some people just seem to get all the luck and seem to know who to suck up to

mrsd Whoop at getting your dates through! I can't help you with the costs of the drugs I'm afraid, though I did go on a website (I think it was the Bridge Centre) and they had listed the cost of the various things needed.
I injected twice a day with the down regging drugs (7am and 7pm) and then for the stimming drugs just once a day at 7pm. I was taught that anywhere flabby around the belly button is okay (or thigh but that made me feel a bit sicky thinking of that!). Squeeze a bit of flesh between your fingers and then push the needle in, all the way, like a dart and press the plunger slowly and steadily. Leave the needle in for a few seconds after you have plunged to stop too much fluid leaking out. It really is okay!
I did laugh at "English" being written on your file I reckon "idiot" is written on mine

joy I agree that it would be helpful if you were told exactly what to expect from your appointments. I have always thought that there is a distinct lack of information and how comforting it would be for people to have more info. It would take someone a few hours to write little guides.
I mean't to say that MrP made those hot cross buns. His turned out quite well though I had apricot jam welded to every surface in the kitchen! He had to prove his for a lot longer than the recipe said and he helped them along a bit by putting the dough in the airing cupboard.

Did anyone see 16 Kids and Counting last night? I don't know why I do it to myself. The mother of 11 was bemoaning how she wasn't conceiving number 12 quickly and said how she would "give it three more months trying" because she always catches in that time. Three fecking months??? Try three years! avoiding passing comment on the fact that she does no home cooking and feeds her kids at the pub every night

Poutintrout · 03/04/2013 12:56

Hello numbers Don't worry about the acronyms, as euro says they are quite easy but if you don't know what we are on about just ask!

freedom2011 · 03/04/2013 18:28

hi all! just to say I am alive just been away from internet. Going to have a read and post later.

buzzybee123 · 03/04/2013 21:04

hello ladies

sar I hope it went well for you tonight and that you got some answers

mrsd I think I paid about £135 for a gonal f pen, its getting very close for you now :)

numbers welcome

buzzybee123 · 03/04/2013 21:06

hello ladies

sar I hope it went well for you tonight and that you got some answers

mrsd I think I paid about £135 for a gonal f pen, its getting very close for you now :)

numbers welcome

buzzybee123 · 03/04/2013 22:26

ooops having connection problems

euro it can be hard looking at other people and their lives, and what they have, i'm sure its not all quite as good as it appears

free good to see you again

I wouldn't mind a handhold right now as tomorrow is now worrying me a bit

Poutintrout · 03/04/2013 22:28

Hi buzzy Are you okay?

EuroShaggleton · 03/04/2013 22:45

Want to talk about it?

buzzybee123 · 03/04/2013 22:56

thank you ladies, I think just looking at the injection has for some reason just unnerved me, I am left wondering how I got to this stage

Poutintrout · 03/04/2013 23:00

buzz That is exactly how I felt but it passes. You will get swept along with it all. When you get your baby none of this will matter Smile

GinSoaked · 04/04/2013 08:43

Tight paw squeeze for buzzy. You will be fine. You are a brave and determined lady, and doing what you need to do to get your baby. Even on ivf no 2, the huge box of drugs freaked me out. But then we started using them and I saw it's just a few drops of innocuous looking liquid I was putting into myself. Good luck! We should def sort out that meet up, as I think we could all do with some RL support at the mo.

Just a quick train post from me. Will catch up properly later. Woke up with the mother of all migraines yesterday and still not 100% but dragging myself into work. Unfortunately I'm taking this as another sign that the fet's not worked, as I do get hormonal migraine. Meh.

OP posts:
ThatWayMadnessLies · 04/04/2013 09:42

Morning,

Proffering another hand buzzy. I get my drugs to self administer next week and I'm sure I'll find it daunting as well. It will all feel quite normal quite quickly I'm sure. Makes me think of what my last consultant said as I was getting yet another internal scan - "You do get used to it as part of ivf but I'm sorry that you're having to get used to it."

Boo to a migraine gin, especially when you have to work. I don't get them regularly but got sent home from work once when I just couldn't function. They are miserable Sad. I hope this one is fleeting.

I hope everything went well sar and I'm sorry you are having work stress as well. That goes for you too euro. Surely it's not too much to ask the universe for our work lives to run like clockwork when our bodies are refusing to cooperate....

joy I felt sore at the mention of that many injection and blood tests Shock. To answer your question I feel really fed up with having downregged for this long. 4 months of no periods is great but without the hrt this month I feel fat and moody and my skin is bad. I'm fed up breaking into a sweat and turning red in front of people - proper beads of sweat on the forehead are difficult to hide Blush. I worry about how I'll respond to the stimming drugs after so long. Generally I just need to move on with the next stage. The impossibility of a natural bfp (regardless of how unlikely that is) also makes me a bit sad.

Welcome back free and welcome along numbers.

I hope that gonal f pen isn't too expensive mrsd. I also had a giggle at English being written on your file Grin.

Big waves to all. I have been sitting here too long. Must go and be productive.

EuroShaggleton · 04/04/2013 10:02

buzz I'm so sorry - I made that post and then fell asleep! Blush I hope you are doing ok

I understand exactly what you mean. That sentiment was behind my freak out when my package of IVF drugs was delivered a year ago.

Gin sorry about the migrane.

I'd love to go ahead with the meet up.

madness I am sure the stimming drugs will wake up your ovaries nicely! I'm not sure that it will matter that you have downregged for longer than most - the process (for LP at least) is designed with "asleep" ovaries in mind. I'm sorry you are getting so many horrible symptoms. You have done so well to stick on the drugs for so long.

seaviewasia · 04/04/2013 10:04

Hi ladies,

I have missed you all. I am now back from my work and play travels. I have loads to catch up on but here?s a quick hello.

Euro ? I feel for you re work and feeling left behind. It?s so unfair especially what you said about not going for a job because you felt it would be unfair to take maternity leave. You should read the new book Lean In by Sandberg. She talks about women not progressing as much because they don?t go for positions as they feel they have to take time out for kids etc. Men however go for roles even if they only fit 60% of the job spec. sigh

Free ? how are you feeling?

Buzz ? hope it?s going well. When do you leave for the overseas treatment? Good luck with it.

Sarlat ? Sorry to hear about your bad work news. I too am a house porn lover. Mr Sea and I keep looking at places that would be good for kids but I am stopping us from actually moving until we actually have a baby on the way.

Joy ? I totally understand how frustrating being unexplained is and with your miscarriages I can understand why you would associate pregnancy with something negative but I still think it will happen for you. I know a number of women who have had difficulties and multiple miscarriages that go on to have babies. It just feels like such a long road. And the lack of explanation is what is so frustrating I think.

Numbers ? Welcome. Sorry you find yourself on here though. These ladies are great and v supportive and funny!

AFM, had our 1st consultation at Mr T?s clinic yesterday. Thanks to Joy, I knew what to expect. Mr Sea was disgusted by how dirty the place was, I think he spent more time looking at the inches of dust everywhere than listening to the doc who mostly told us stuff we already knew. He was appalled that when he had to do his sample, he was put in a dirty room and the place had magazines that were ?stuck together?. Yuck I know. I?m trying to ignore all this and focus on the stats and the fact that they said I don?t ?appear? to be a complicated case and it could be that our stats is as high as 85%.... I am not totally convinced but will wait and see.

Sorry not to name check everyone but waves to rabbit, mrsd, gin, critter, madness, pout and anyone else I have missed.

EuroShaggleton · 04/04/2013 14:07

sea I'm doing exactly the same re: moving. It would seem silly to buy a 4 or 5 bed place if it will be just us rattling around in it.

Are you going ahead at the same place as joy? The dirty room doesn't sound appealing. The waiting area for EC/ET at our clinic is cramped and not particularly inviting, but at least the place seems clean!

joycep · 04/04/2013 14:54

Sea ? welcome back and sorry to hear that Mrsea didn?t approve of the dust and decor. I know a lot of people are perturbed by that but weirdly (not sure what this says about me) it was the shabbiness i liked. My thoughts were they were too busy getting good results to have time to make the place look swish. But roy told me about those dirty mags and I didn?t want to hear any more about them!

Buzz ? it?s surreal doing ivf. I just couldn?t believe I was doing it and I can?t believe I did it. You wonder how you?ve got there but it?s surprising how quickly it goes. Big hand hold.

Pout ? that?s great MrP produced some good buns. Very envious you have a husband who cooks. Mine doesn?t know a cucumber from a courgette and actually cooked a cucumber thinking it was courgette. Plonker. I also stay away from 16kids and counting. Every night that programme or 1 baby every minute seems to be on. I can?t bear it. I have to avoid the news too so i don?t explode at that awful family who killed 6 of their kids. No justice out there.

Gin ? i?m sorry about the migraine. I know it?s easy to think the cycle hasn?t worked but I think it?s impossible to tell. Hang on in there. I have everything crossed for you. God we need some good news on here.

Mad ? it sounds like it has been unbelievably tough and a hideous experience. I think your follies will be just fine once they get the juice to waken them up. Hopefully you will begin to feel better once this happens. You thoroughly deserve it after all this time.

Mrsd ? you mentioned that someone took you through your family tree. I don?t believe there is one record of disability in my family certainly not from great-grandparents and down. I?m really not sure that this means anything though. As freak things can happen.

Sar ? how did yesterday go?

Free ? any news from you?

I had my hospital appt this morning. Apparently because I was an unusual case (really??) they wanted to double check if everything was alright. Apart from chaos and not having my appt in the diary, I cannot fault St Marys. They fitted me in and I asked whether my appointment in May was to get the results of the cytogenetic testing. So the consultant went and made a long phone call and surprisingly the results were in already and so we got the results a month early. The beans had Trisomy 22 which means there were 3 copies of chromosome 22. She said this is just completely random and bad luck. But our karotyping will shed light on whether Roy and I are carrying something weird. With so much being unexplained, it?s good and a relief to have a scientific answer on the miscarriage as you normally wonder why. And I was lucky it all happened when it did as I see some trisomy22 go on to live birth which of course i wouldn?t want.

EuroShaggleton · 04/04/2013 15:01

joy it must be good to have some answers. Does the fact that there was a chromosomal issue that was most likely "just one of those things" make you more keen to try again? I've told myself that my mc was due to that, because of the way it just stopped developing, when it was still implanted (stuck fast in fact), getting a good blood supply, etc. It does sound like St Mary's has been good to you.

mrsden · 04/04/2013 15:11

buzz I know what you mean about getting the wobbles. But we'll be fine, it will all be worth it eventually Smile

gin hold on in there, I don't think you can tell much from migraines. They can be an early pregnancy symptom too. When is testing day?

euro I know how hard the waiting is. It's frustrating that you're having to fit ivf around work. Will you have another natural go next time? Has mreuro had his prostate checked out yet? If we're not successful on this first go we won't be able to have a second go until October because of holidays and work trips. So annoying when we've waited so long already.

sea I'm not sure I like the sound of dirty clinic. One thing I can say about mine is that it is spotless. It is very cramped though, they've outgrown the premises and it's not very well laid out. The consulting rooms are huge but then the scan room is tiny so DH can't come in with me. The waiting room is always full but there is free nespresso coffee and soft drinks, fizzy water etc Smile .

joy did both beans have trisomy 22? Would it not be unusual for them both to have it or is it quite common? It sounds like you're being well cared for and hopefully they will have some answers for you soon.

EuroShaggleton · 04/04/2013 15:27

mrsd I think Mr Euro's appointment is next week.

free I forgot to say welcome back. How are you doing?

buzzybee123 · 04/04/2013 17:44

thank you for the hand hold ladies, not sure how I feel right now, I managed to do the jab myself, bloody hell the needles was huge, even the nurse said it was big Shock so now I need to go to Occ health to cover myself,

gin sorry about your migraine, when is testing day??

joy its good to hear that St Marys are treating you well, it does help to get some sort of answer

sea I leave on the 4th May, so what is the next step for you

madness I suppose I am lucky that I am only doing one injection this time, i'm not sure if i will feel normal about this

thank you to mrsd pout and euro for your support and kind words

sarlat · 04/04/2013 19:50

Buzz - huge well done on the first stabbings with the gigantic needle. I understand what you mean when you have a 'wtf' moment about IVF. Like Joy I can't belieive I had IVF plus 2 FET'S, - was that someone elses life? It is surreal but totally worth a shot. It is amazing how quickly self stabbing becomes a normal part of life. Be very kind to yourself. Surley every stabbing deserves a posh chocolate?

Joy -the results today must have come as a shock. It just seems so real to get the news about trisomy 22 even though we all know these things usually are a genetic thing. I had a very brief look on Dr Google around trisomy 22 and it would appear people do go on to have successful pregnancies and births but I understand there are still more tests results to come and its not yet time to make firm plans. However, like Euro says there is a real reason for the miscarriage and it is unlikely that every embryo you make would have this problem. I also think this is not behind you general fertility (unexplained) issues. If it were you would be regularly getting pregnant and having miscarriages. I hope you and Roy are feeling ok. You have had such a lot to come to terms with over these last few weeks. I really hope your holiday gives you a well deserved boost and some peace.

Free - how are you honey?

Sea - that is great news about your potential stats being so high. In this game, if someone is offering you reason to be hopeful - take it. Ewww to the mucky clinic - you would have thought basic cleaning would be a necessity.

Madness - I am really sorry about the side effects - sound unpleasant. Gosh - you really really deserve for this to work out. You have played the long game. Sorry the natural BFP thing is troubling you. Don't forget all BFP's are natural. It is only a sperm and egg which can create life, its just medical science helping out as it does with so many other things in healthcare. When will you start stimming?

Gin - oh lovely lady, sorry you are feeling a sense of it not working. It is of course technically too early to tell but right now there is still hope. So do these headaches occur at this time every month? Does this cycle feel similar or different to the previous ones? Lots of hugs coming your way. The 2ww is the pits. xx

sarlat · 04/04/2013 20:17

Well I went to see Dr Tubes yesterday evening in the private clinic. I must say we got our moneys worth as he packed more in and listened more carefully in 35 minutes than anyone else has done in our first clinic in 18 months.

I had sent copies of test results along with a summary of my ishoos before our appointment - he said this was helpful and smiled when I put forward my own theories and he entered in to conversation about them. That was very odd - I am used to being slapped down the minute I try to hold a discussion.

Dr Tubes thinks that my tubes ARE the main ishooo. Ok that is not new but he was far more specific about my tubes. He said that even though my right tube was never actually 'blocked' and was instead tethered down with adhesions according to the lap, this partial blockage was still likely to be causing some fluid to be sent the wrong way in to the womb and flushing out embryos. Basically my IVF and natural attempts were never going to work. I was under the impression from my last clinic that only a true hydrosalpinx (blocked tube) could cause this issue but apparantly not.

Dr Tubes thinks that if my tubes as still open after the lap then I absolutly have a chance of natural conception. And the stretched and dodgy right tube has much chance as the normal left one. He is not prepared to assume they are still open and functioning however even though he has a copy of the lap report from January. He reckons post surgical adhesions could have affected the tube(s) again and he wants to check for this before starting on a management plan. I was a little bit worried to hear this - I thought I was in the all clear post lap. So I have to have another HSG. I can get this done very quickly and have the results and treatment plan discussed on the same day - impressed. I have been advised it might hurt me less this time as some of the problems have apparantly been removed (I certainly hope so).

So if there is a blockage - he will want me to move straight to IVF again and I may need surgery before this. If they are open he is placing me on an 'intergrated treatment plan'. This means every natural month is given a boost and the aim is to focus on natural conception. But with the option to siwtch to IVF in a few months and then back to natural again. He says this will increase my stats a great deal. The natural cycles will involve clomid. Dr Tubes says he get great results with this as he uses it with women like me to increase chances where there are some other small bariers. We will also have ovulation monitoring and he said he will be able to time ovulation to the hour and tell us when to dtd.

This was all very refreshing. He didn't make any promises but seemed keen to try lots of different things. He has a very hollistic approach and seemed to be nurturing our pyshological well being too. He suggested a pub we should go out for out tea when we are inbetween the HSG and the follow up consultation next month. He also said he felt we had been unlucky.

Dr Tubes is also an endo expert and knowing I have some he thinks the adhesions at the end of the right tube could have been endo all along. If so, he thinks I miscarried due to toxic fluid running down the tube when it was partially blocked. Again - this is a new spin.

So now I am hoping like never before that my tubes will be open at the HSG. It will determine so much of what the future will hold. I am a bit scared that surgery beckons again.

We also discussed NK cells. His view is that women with repeated miscarrige and failed IVF cycles do have raised NK cells - in that there is no doubt. But what he doesn't push for is always having the treatment. He is happy for people to do it and some people may get real success but for some there is not. He thinks my NK cells may show to be raised but that my tubes are the more obvious cause of my problems and that is what we should focus on. I also liked the way he accepted straight away when I said I had never had PID, STD etc. At the other clinic it felt like they didn't believe me or Chumba and were trying to catch us out.

I really like Dr Tubes and would recommend him to anyoone looking for a second opinion or new ideas. He was happy for me to go back to my NHS clinic if I wanted rather than continue with him onced I had the benefit of his advice (however we are paying wherever we go now). Maybe all fertility Dr's are like this and I just managed to be in the catchment of some awful ones. But I am very impressed. I feel lighter. I know there are still no guarentees but at least we are dealing with my ishoos specifically rather than the "hydo but not a hydo tube girl" sitaution.

Hope the above wasn't too boring.

Pout - how have you been feeling just recently?

Big hello to Rabbit, Lemons, et al.

MuddyWellyNelly · 04/04/2013 21:12

Sar that made really interesting reading. You must feel so much more positive now? In answer to your question, are all fertility docs like this - no! My first clinic, the guy was terrible. Was so negative about my chances after my AMH, just made me feel awful. The consultant at the second was a gazillion times better, like Dr Tubes he listened to my questions and theories and was prepared to go with some of my views. I am so pleased you've had this.

Sea welcome back - and wow at 85%!

Free welcome back to you as well.

Gin - too early to know, remember! Fingers crossed for you.

Buzzy sorry I wasn't around to hand hold. Well done on the jabs. What are you taking that has such a big needle?

MrsDen I paid for my drugs today. A 900 pen is costing me £230. How does that compare to everyone else?

Joy I think in some ways it is good they've found some reason for your little beans not making it? But it's not black and white is it. At least there is an answer, but of course there is still the "why me" aspect, and wondering why it happened in the first place.

Pout how are you feeling.

madness you are on the home stretch. You have done so well not to go completely round the bend!

Euro I hope nothing serious is found with MrEuro. And I forgot to say boo to the colleague getting promoted. I haven't exactly been pushing for promotion recently as I've not felt I could do a more senior role justice.

So the spotting started on Tuesday night. I called the clinic yesterday to arrange my next cycle, which is now paid for. But of course, the spotting hasn't yet turned in to my full on AF, which means I can't have the prostap injection tomorrow I am meant to. Assuming it starts tomorrow, it now means I have to drive west to the main clinic (the satellite one isn't open at the weekend) which would be ok except I am meant to be elsewhere on Saturday. Two people have asked me if I've tested yet. The answer is no, as I've had several days spotting before. But that doesn't stop me hoping that this time it's the ironic pre-IVF diff. Why oh why do I even bother to allow those thoughts in. ignores the fact that about a week ago I was sure I felt something very specific in my womb area that I really thought might be implantation

Sorry for everyone else I've missed Teu, Rabbit, Lemons etc

buzzybee123 · 04/04/2013 21:19

oooh nelly should I have cod ready and waiting for you Wink it was the depot shot where you have to mix a liquid with powder then inject yourself with it, I'd say it was 3 times as thick as a gonal f pen and over twice as long

Swipe left for the next trending thread