The big fat posifrickintivity, but only on a friday thread - TTC after MC and not lose your head

[Mummytothearkbuilder]

Ladies - a brand new lovely shiny thread for us to fill! Enjoy x

Hi everyone. Sad to be here but happy for the support. I had a late miscarriage at 18 1/2 weeks last year followed by a lot of complications.
Have just had the all clear to go ahead and try again. I'm feeling very nervous but excited!! Hope we all have some good news soon xx

Well, my strange AF is definetley not implanting bleeding - AF is here with a bang today!! However I am looking at things in a more positive way:

1. I had a positive OPK this cycle which is fab (Drs thought I wasnt ovulating before my miscarraige)
2. Alhough my cycle was 40 days I have looked back and they are all between 38-43 days so although they are long at least they are a bit more regular which makes me feel a bit more optimistic
3. I have a fab DH and gorgeous DS who make me smile

AF is pretty much the same as before the miscarriage so I have armed myself with large pads, my prescription painkillers and I'm off to my friends for a couple of nights for good food and crap tv (this was pre-arrannged but I'm thinking now nicely timed with the arrival of AF).

I am also worried about the age gap but my DS is 4 in a couple of weeks - if I hadnt miscarried the baby would have been due the day DS starts school which was ideal for us. As I have long cycles I wont be having a 2013 baby and it looks like DS will be closer to 5 before having a brother or sister but in all honestly just as long as I have a healthy pregnancy and baby the age gap is starting to feel less of an issue for me. I am trying my hardest to not stress out over small things and things I cant control (not easy for me as I am the most high maintenance person ever!!) x

Sal, really sorry if what I've said stressed you. Hope you're ok and we haven't frightened you off.

Welcome apples, it sounds like you've had quite an ordeal so pleased for you that you've now got the all clear.

Alyant, my aunt had an mc and she said that to me; I.e that its really weird because if not for her mc she wouldn't have had my cousin who she loves with all her heart, and that while that doesn't make her feel better per se it is soothing and helps with the idea that the other little'un just wasn't meant to be.

My timing issue is less about age gaps (as this will be DC1) and more about the fact I've spent my entire twenties prioritising my career under the assumption that I'd just take a condom off and have a baby the moment I desired. And now I'm in my thirties and it feels a little like I've left it quite late (esp as I'd quite like a large family). Curses! Still, nowt I can do now. We've decided to have two and adopt two (the eternal optimist).

Mummy: b£&@£y AF! Still some positifrickintivity stuff in there too in terms of regular, albeit long, cycles and ovulating. Hurrah. X

Hi everyone. Anyone else feeling today? I am. Feeling really sorry for myself re TTC I'm afraid so am happy to be slapped with a fish. Just feel so far away from having a baby now- so much further away than before we started TTC last year. Can't imagine what it must be like to hold your own baby in your arms.

Sorry, sob over.

&

I have come to a conclusion that it is better to be in a crap place with nice people than a nice place with crap people.

That's my feelings towards this thread - None of us wanted to be here, but it being one of those Sh1ts in life that we are here, but it is one of the most supportive threads in conception (says someone who has been shoe'ed away from others in the past)

Now I'm off to wait for HCG levels to drop so i actually get the BFN i need before any hope of a real BFP - really should be more patient.

To everyone who is having a crap day [hugs] to everyone who's day seems to be getting brighter

(sits back down in the corner quietly)

Hoping no-one takes any offense at my last post - just wanted to say it is lovely to be able to talk to people in similar situations who understand

S'alright Mrs we know what you mean.

Hello to Sal and apples and anyone else I missed joining.

Aly I'd agree with that - I often think if I hadn't had MC1 I wouldn't have my lovely DS2, it makes it harder to regret losing that baby (but on the other hand if she had lived I wouldn't have missed DS2, would I?). I don't think it helps in the interim when you are still TTC though!

Didn't worry too much about age gaps as ended up with 3.5yrs between DSs having aimed for 2 yr gap, would be happy with anything. I had allowed myself to think that an October baby would fit in brilliantly - DS2 settled into preschool, gets his funding in September, mat leave extending to cover his start of school the following year... ah well, not to be.

thunder sorry you are having a crap day, big ((HUG))

aly I say that all the time abt my MMC I wouldn't have DS....it doesn't make sense really but is a comfort, like I didn't go thru all that for nothing iyswim

Hope you're doing ok sal I went thru it at home and it was tough, wine got me thru, over the counter pain killers are rubbish.

apples that sounds very tough, good luck getting your BFP.

Hi to everyone else, hope you have some good news soon, seems a bit down at the minute . I'm plodding on 7 weeks today, nervous as hell just wishing the next 5 weeks away

Hi ladybirds!

Doing ok here. Had 3 of my girlfriends invade me this morning after me texting the news yesterday. They all came bearing flowers a d chocolates and cake, was great to have them around and even enjoyed a cuddle with 5 week old baby Freddie.

Called the EPU first thing to see if they had had any cancellations, was told no, but had a call back this arvo to say that they will try and squeeze me in tomorrow (but no guarantee). Popped in for pre-op and bloods, met anaesthetist so fingers crossed its all systems go!!

What had everyone planned for Easter? I plan on eating my body weight in blue cheese and Brie, chocolate and getting well and truly sloshed!!

Operation, 'stop fannying about and comfort eating and lose a bit of chub' starts in earnest on Tuesday (well you can't start on a bank holiday can you) and operation baby will start again as soon as any bleeding/soreness stops!!

Onwards and upwards Sal!
Alyant, I can kind of see my MC as a blessing. Apart from the fact it was ectopic and not MC could have been a whole lot worse, it has changed everything. DP didnt want anymore dcs, but when I accidentally got PG, everyone was so positive, and pulled together, and I was so happy, that even after the MC he is ok with try

trying for another, so if I hadnt MC I really wouldnt have anymore DCs.
Camomile and Mummy, dont worry too much about the age gap, my next youngest is 14!
Thunder have a huge [[[hug]]].

I think we should quote MrsIdeals A crap place with nice people for our next thread title.
Its very true.

sal it's wonderful to see you so positive. Hooray for friends and chocolates :)

Thanks everyone for your thoughts on seeing the positive once subsequent baby does come. Glad to hear that it really does work like that, kind of.

Poor dh is exhausted tonight after working late at work the last couple of nights. Think I'm ovulating though (or about to ) so he isn't getting the night off muahahaha.

Hey ladies. Sorry to see everyone so down. And sorry to see a couple of new faces . I do hope things start looking up. Is almost fertile Friday?! Or have we given up on that idea now? It worked for a couple of weeks.

I like that sentence for a new thread title very much too :)

I am still not leaving btw. Can't get round the idea that I will be moving on, so will be here for at least another 7 weeks. And probably more knowing my history!!

It's good to have you here pink

Thanks for the hugs girls. saggy yours was so big it became it's own hyperlink!

sal good positivity, I like it.

I have and am watching masterchef in self indulgence mode.

hey all, popping by to say hi. can't believe how quickly this thread is moving along. sorry to see some newbies, you;re in good hands here, these girls are ace.

fx for good test results thunder, hope the time goes as quickly as possible for you. sending you a big hug.

mummy sorry to hear that AF got you, but on the upside and as you said, you now know where you are. do you have an iphone? my cycles were 46-50 days so i know how frustrating it is, i used the free app called 'period tracker' and set it to alert me when i was due for sexfest and found it more accurate than some others. i also used the cheap internet opks every day from the end of AF (in the hope that my cycles might miraculously shorten) and starting sex fest as soon as i got a darker than faint line. just keep at it, it worked for me this time and last time :) fx for you

it still hasn't really hit me that this one might work out, i'm not sure when the posifrickintivity will kick in.... one minute i'm good, the next i'm a scared mess

sending good vibes to everyone xx

camomile thanks for the support I'm glad someone else gets the whole this a sensitive and painful situation please have some respect for it.

I'm feeling a bit better today getting there slowly. Maybe because I've had really painful boobs which I've only ever had when pregnant so I'm secretly hopeful.

I'm not to sure when to test I though it was this week I'm due, turns out I'm not due till the 3rd/4th of April so I could wait to see if I come on or do an early test on Satarday.

Hi sal and apples sorry that you're here but it's a great thread to be in even though no one wants to be here!

No fertile Friday for me af arrived this evening. I'm gutted and been feeling sorry for myself all day as I knew it was on its way. Really hoped clomid would have worked straight away but I guess good news is that I ovulated and a cycle if 31 days is a lot better than what they used to be. But given we started ttc in 2011 the thought that I'm now not even going to have a2013 baby is really sad :(
Sorry I'm allowing myself to mope today onwards and upwards with positifrickivity tomorrow!

Hugs to all those also feeling crap today!

flower I'm sorry no 2013 baby for you I feel very much the same this is the last chance to have a baby in 2013 the year I was supposed to have a baby. I'm dreading AF turning up.

Take heart little and flower, you might not give birth in 2013 but you could be very fat and just about to!

I'm off to sit at Derriford hospital today and hope they can fit me in for my ERPC, otherwise I have to wait until next Wednesday!! I really want it done today so that we can move forward! Xx

Good luck today Sal - I'm sorry if I freaked you out in my first post to you. It was just the one thing I wish I'd been aware of beforehand.

Mummy sorry AF got you, was really hoping my "advice" would have been proved wrong like it often is but as you say, it's a fresh start.

Re age gap, I had wanted 2.5 years but now DS is 2.5 I've realised I'd be missing out on all his cute first sentences and weird little habits if I'd had a new baby which is helping a bit. If he is a bit more aware of what is going on, I'm hoping it will make things a bit easier? I guess there are pros and cons of every age gap though.

sal that a good bit of posifrickintivity even if we dont get 2013 babies we might get 2013 bumps, plenty of time left for that.

Gets so bloody tired with the CBFM day 21 and it's still asking for sticks I can barely remember what it's like to wee without a stick.

Am feeling a bit low today. Glad it's a long weekend coming up. I love the idea of throwing yourself into a project. I'm going to set myself a sewing one. I can't sew so am going to learn how to make something small! Anyone see oneborn last night? What an inspirational couple but such a sad story