The Elderberry & Sausage Pavlovas in 'Battle Royale 3: Shag Tiara Death Match' - the search for the immaculate conception!

[Bunnygirlie]

Entrant criteria: TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 3+months, OPK & EWCM obsession, NO instadiffers. (Thread 6)

Hang on, have just realised phone emoticons look different on the actual site. On my phone looked like a very cross face (but not red). What i actually meant was
I love him to bits but think he is naive and annoying and stupid at times

Just testing what another phone icon showed up like

merkin and cats yeah I know what you mean. What is that all about? Where do they get the laid backness from? ...we actually it wont happen if we don't dtd at the right time...!

I always do this (post a trillion times in a row and fill a page all on my own) but you'll just have to put up with me or evict me
Anyway... it's weird how all your life you believe men are trying soooo hard to get their OH/wives to have sex and keep getting turned down. I have been enlightened on here that it seems the biggest world secret (even bigger than Santa) is that actually it's the men who need forcing encouraging into DTD!

but it's the same with everything that does not involve dh's job - I do it or fret about it. If it weren't for me, we'd live in a dirty, untidy house without clean clothes, bed linen or towels. There would be no food worth eating or clean dishes off which to eat. The cats would not be fed, taken to the vets or treated for fleas.
He wants DCs, as he says it will give life purpose and meaning. Am tempted to hand over all the responsibility to him and see how far we get. Fed up of being the only one who goes to the GP/googles for answers/has acupuncture/wrangles with insurance companies. Wondering if this is what it will be like if we do manage to have kids.
This is a diluted version of original rant which included reference to him taking a basket of clean washing upstairs, but not putting it away. Just taking it up the stairs because that's all I had actually said.... when I gently teased him about it to avoid being a nag, he said he'd do it later. That was on Sunday. I just put it away an hour ago.

Merkin I am on it like a sausage rocket.

Dang and blast, I missed an opportunity for a sausage wanging joke! My brain hasn't been working well today and that just hammers the final nail in.

Cats I know the feeling. I have spent all day cooking soups and dinners for him. The dishwasher finished while I was plating dinner so I asked him to help me by emptying it (as there was a load of cooking pots piled up to go in it). He emptied it and walked away without putting anything dirty in it. He has never in over 5 years ironed any of my clothing. He generally, if putting washing on, picks his clothes out of the washing basket and just washes his own. He never puts any of his clothes that I have ironed away. He has never done a 'big shop' (Northern reference for those of us from above Watford!). He won't do the litter trays unless asked. He generally doesn't listen (as he is tuned into the TV instead) and says "what?" 20 minutes after i've asked him something. Etc etc etc
However in his defence, I drop clothes wherever i undress, i am not the tidiest person around, i shed tonnes of hair every time i brush it so our en suite floor looks like it is carpeted, i hate hoovering and do everything I can to avoid it. On balance tho, i still think he got the better deal!! I truly blame his mother who was still doing his washing/ironing/cleaning when i met him, spoilt him rotten all his live and ironed his pant!!
But, despite all the times he really makes me he is the most amazing man alive, he's there when i'm miserable, and he spoils me something rotten!

Boodle I LOVE the name!!
Raining is your OH perfect?? Bet if you start listing his faults you'd be amazed at the length of the list!!

Love the name boodle

cats they are just silly little boys who need full instructions lol my DH needs a full detailed list of things or they don't happen

Oh and raining if he is perfect, can I have him??

Merkin are you married to my DP?? We appear to be living parallel lives, minus the cats!

Boddle i thought of referring to you as wonderful pot but that could be misconstrued

Cats, I'm not going to moan to much about my DH, as he is actually quite good in the grand scheme of things, but I too get ranty sometimes about our 'differing' expectations. If I ask him to do something little (such as your laundry job allocation) he will often start to argue the toss about why it should be done there and then, it can wait until later, does it really matter, etc etc. It does my head in! If the children in my class answered me back like that I'd go bloody ballistic (and to be honest, I tend to go teacher on DH's ass when he does this anyway...and I don't like myself when I use my teacher voice at home)! However, I must reiterate that I'm not really moaning properly, as he is very good at things that I don't like to do. For example, I hate having to do things like sort out car maintenance/plan and book holidays/coordinate family friend meet-ups and he is excellent and efficient at that.

Clearly my DH has more than one pant... I meant pants!

Seriously, Cats, even Zelda West (fertility goddess and oracle of all things IVF) warns her female patients not to expect much in the way of eager involvement from their husbands on what is essentially a very lonely journey. Men are simply unaware of the angst-driven googling and fertile window fretting that we women go through. They have no interest in your acupuncture sessions (can't blame them) or charts or when is/isn't the right time for sex. I reckon the sooner we accept this is part of their genetic programming, the better.

I have taken to testing DP at odd moments to see whether he has listened to my fertility chat in the past few days. Eg. tonight I asked him what AMH was. He replied, 'it's that thing that tells you what's in your egg store cupboard'. That'll do nicely.

Raining loving the egg store cupboard. Bless your OH

raining, this is why I deleted my original rant. I don't want to leave him. He has many, many redeeming qualities. But at the moment, I feel very alone with all this ttc stuff. Apart from with you berries, of course.
He does have a stressful job and works long hours. He supported me through a breakdown and subsequent months of recovery. I did have to spell things out to him a few times during that too. So, think it will be the same here. Just wish it wasn't.
He's a great cook, and will make dinner when I can't be arsed. He half-loaded the dishwasher this evening (progress), and does try to understand, even if he can't.

I find this so reassuring to read. Sometimes I think it's just my OH who has his seriously exasperating ways and that everyone else is living in happy ever after land. However acknowledging there are these shitty sides -and that we do still love em- has got to be helpful. When I say acknowledging I really mean having a good healthy rant that they're bloody useless.

One pant mr merkin. Tee hee

Don't worry cats everyone needs a rant now and then! Doesn't mean you're going to leave. I had my 'ah-ha' moment when i realised I wasn't going to change my DH and therefore I was with him faults and all, and that I had to love him that way otherwise it would drive me mad. Now I just (most of the time) accept it and smile!
On another note has anyone ever tried ferning? God knows why I want another test but am tempted. Am also impatiently waiting for this to be released as it's the same as the £500 strap on temp monitor sold to TTC-ers

I agree with all of you! also loving the egg store cupboard. And boodle, my DH does all of those things too, so you're right. And I too have used the teacher voice and face at home and hate it. Have tried to chill out about the afore mentioned chores etc, and for the most part, I have, but it just got to me today.
Thanks for listening and offering your experiences. It's so good to know it's not just me and that your houses are much the same.

Merkin, my comment to Cats about leaving her fella was tongue-in-cheek However, I do believe that we settle for all this shit when we agree to live with our other halves. I just don't see the point in haranguing them for traits which should have been apparent from the beginning of the relationship

dear god, merkin... another gadget! I like! still waiting for this cycle to end to use the blasted cbfm

raining, yes I did know about all his faults and married him anyway, as he knew about mine and did the same. and knew you were being tongue in cheek.