Right, that's it! Fabulous Forty Somethings ttc want our bfp's and we want them now! We have waited long enough!

[hopefulgum]

Here's our shiney new thread. The one where I finally get upduffed with everyone else!

I know exactly what you mean ShootingStar! Nice to finally be with the right one, whatever happens.

Just wanted to clarify that the 71 in my username doesn't refer to my age I'm not quite that old! If I was that would start a whole new topic of conversation me thinks :) x

Aargh! Having not posted for ages I just typed out a long post and it got lost in cyberspace!
Welcome nobeer and shooting!
Diege and notsoold glad to hear your scans showed good heartbeats and normal sized beans!
gum your symptoms are certainly convincing me.
green and sparkly hope you enjoy your holidays.
DrWho your timing sounds good to me, fingers crossed for you!
Morien what a coincidence to meet a work colleague at the doctors. When I was having one of my appointments at the EPU the last time I miscarried I realized one of the sonographers is a mum whose dd goes to Brownies with my dd2. She didn't actually do my scan(that would have been a bit awkward!) and she's never actually mentioned it since. It's a small world though ,you never know who you're going to bump into.
The timing of your appointment sounded good,lucky they could take blood samples on the day. Hope your results are encouraging. You must be looking forward to your wedding,not long to go now.
CaliBee ,how exciting your wedding day is so soon. What's your dress like? You must have been disappointed with your mum's reaction to the news. As you say she may be worried about you but it's a pity she can't just be happy for you.
Sorry you're feeling down about the lack of ovulation too, it's difficult dealing with everything. I've been going through a phase of feeling down too. My friend whose edd was the same as mine had a lovely little boy last week, photos all over facebook. I know he's not "my" baby but it's a bit heart wrenching seeing him.Another friend at work is pregnant and there's a lot of baby talk going on.She's lovely, I'm glad for her, but it's hard joining in when I'm feeling it's just not going to happen for me now.
However, you're younger than me, clomid worked really well for you before, you've been pregnant recently, who's to say it's not going to work out for you,maybe you'll have a honeymoon baby!
Hello to everyone else I've not namechecked

Welcome nobeer and shooting - hope your stays here are short and sweet. Congrats to cali and morien on setting dates - cali sorry your mum has reacted badly. Is horrible when things upset people somehow when all you wanted was for everyone to be happy. I know that scenario. My little one has brought dp and my parents together, though I know there's times the age gap between us is hard for them to comprend. One night just after the baby was born, all three of them got a bit drunk and started having fun/a laugh at my expense. It was great to see though I was a bit stunned (threatened even) by it at first. All I can say is I hope for you that with time all will be better. You can't do anything to make it better which I know is very frustrating.

Glad to hear things going well for those diffed. Fingers firmly crossed for you gum.

I'm still waiting AF - don't even want to think what day I'm on. Got physio next week to try and straighten chroncy hip. I have started getting spots on my face so hope this is a sign... Bye for now! (Returns to shadows)

Hi everyone, and welcome nobeer and shooting. I hope you will enjoy our little thread, sometimes called the "snug", we have a big comfy couch, armchairs and a big fireplace, loads of cushions and you can come here anytime to relax during this difficult journey that is TTC in our forties.

We sometimes have a Bistro on Friday evenings and order our favourites virtually. This Friday Deige is putting on a special Good Friday meal. What's on the menu,Deige?

Calibee, I am sorry your mum couldn't be more happy and positive for you. I really do understand how you feel. Your mum sounds a lot like mine. I only ever talk to her when I call her, then I listen to all her health issues, all my relatives health issues and she never asks after me or mine. When my sister announced she was having her last baby, my mother's reaction was,"well, that's a very inconvenient time for me, I will be traveling soon afterwards". Unfortunately, my mum is very self centred. And although her concern may have been that she felt bad she couldn't help my sister out with the new baby, the way she responded really hurt my sister. For that reason I didn't tell her til I was about four months along with my last DS. She was upset that I hadn't confided in her that I wanted another baby and that my DH had a vasectomy reversal. But why would I confide in her when she gives no support and makes it all about her?

I would have been upset by her comment,Calibee, surely she would move heaven and earth to be at her daughter's wedding?

irishmammy - it is nice to see you in the snug. I am sorry things are hard. It really is so hard seeing others with babies, particularly when we've lost our own. I often see one friend who was pregnant with her son at the same time I was with Alfie (whom I miscarried in the first tri). I see him toddling around being very cute, and wearing all my DS's hand-me-downs and do feel a pang of sadness that my LO isn't here playing with him. I just have to hold out hope that one day my little rainbow baby will make it earthside and I will finally meet him/her.

isadorable, I hope the Physio helps your hip. I seem to have a very stiff left hip lately. I used to be really flexible, but lately feel quite "creaky", I really need to get back to yoga.

I am just not sure how to fit everything into my life: mumsnet, The Walking Dead, Ebay,the garden, knitting, healthy meals for the family,shopping,working,getting some exercise,yoga,knitting,meditation,relaxation, oh and the kids...

What would I do without you all eh??
Had a chat with Mum yesterday and pasted over the cracks. I guess she will always have reservations but to be honest just now I really can't be doing with the drama, so just to placate her for now was enough.
gum things sound so good for you this month. What dpo are you on now? I will take the clomid next month and see what happens. I guess it is still relatively soon after mc for me...just 2 months. However if I have the same result as this cycle I will have to have a serious think about it. The clinic just don't seem atall interested!!! I have an appointment in May, but to be honest I dont really think they will offer anything else. From the pains I had this month I think my ovaries were stimulated but without a scan I will never know if that was true or if they were ready to pop but couldnt quite make it...in which case a scan and a trigger shot (hcg injection to pop the follicle) would have done the trick...but hey they are the experts not me although I wonder sometimes
irish sorry to hear your mood is a bit low too. Facebook is a demon. I had a friend from school who announced another pregnancy yesterday on there. She is a month younger than me. I tend not to look too closely at the news feed now if I'm honest...but do confess to a major addiction to Candy Crush.

Good morning, everyone, just a quick hello from me! Really hope you don't mind me popping on here once in a while, I feel I can't just leave this thread behind just like that, after all we've been through and the fab support you've given me. Newcomers, you will like it here!

irish Pregnancy and baby announcements are hard. And probably even more so when they come around the time you should've been the one making the announcements! Have you been to see your friend and the new baby? I visited a friend last week who'd had a little boy about 7 weeks ago, and I had been dreading it. But it turned out to be OK (which was partly due to the fact that DS was kicking off with a massive tantrum, so I had to keep him in check). Be kind to yourself, stay away from Facebook.

Cali So sorry to hear about all the grief your mum is causing you. Families, eh...? I really hope she'll manage to come round and start being a bit more supportive, it's really not what you need on top of everything else right now.
Any more developments/decisions on the NIreland move...?
And your clinic really doesn't sound very helpful at all, this is their job?! I thought you'd ge regular scans when on clomid, to check the follicles etc.? Can you speak to a consultant, or maybe bring forward your appointment? This must be so frustrating!

I'm now just waiting waiting waiting... 5+1 today, and time seems to be crawling. I remember that from last time, the first trimester went on for ages, and then time just flew by.
I have my consultant haematologist appt next week, and then my sister is going to come visit us over Easter, really looking forward to that. We'll probably tell my family then, as she won't understand why I don't drink any coffee or black tea .

Morning all!!!

Jbrd black coffee and tea???? OMG you have a strong stomach. I would not sleep for days!!!

Cali....the clinic really should be more involved shouldn't they??? Incredible you have to chase them!
Glad you patched things with you DM. My dad is the difficult one in your family....:(

Irish....facebook is a killer !!! I use it all the time as I have family and relatives everywhere but it hurts some of the posting...

Nobeer and shooting welcome!!!

Gum wonderful early symptoms!!!! Everything crossed for you!!!xxx

Hello everyone else!!! Have to work now!!!xxxx

welcome nobeer and shooting.. hope this thread brings you good luck!
Diege, I live in Italy, I have a sister in the UK who introduced me to the fantastic world of MN and I'm getting addicted to it, as well as to BBC programs.. My DH would like to move to the UK or anything northern than Italy, but it's not such an easy step.. I understand what Cali is facing..
Tomorrow I'm talking to my doctor to see if she has any suggestions for me..

A BIG question:..Facing the future, does any of you feel to be too old to have a baby now or are you worried to be too old later on? I sometimes have these thoughts but I can't give up at the moment.. it's hard to sort out one's feelings.. ..

Hi Mozzarella. It is something I think about occasionally, but as I still feel about 23 (mentally) I don't think about it too much. I worry about energy levels, and know I need my sleep more than I did when I was in my 20s (or even 30s). But I know that it's what I really want, and it's what I've wanted all my life. Just didn't meet the right person before.

Just waving and sending love we don't really know where we are yet but GP has discovered a possible cause for the lump which would be 100% no problem. Still waiting to find out if further scan or biopsy needed to be sure...

That sounds positive is...I hope that it turns out well x
mozarella I think about that all the time. LIke nobeer says...I actually feel I am growing down rather than up ...its just my body letting me down.
I was googling earlier...I know I know, lethal. I wonder if the DHEA is causing my problems?? Its funny as ot was when I took it last year that my cycles suddenly became very long. Am seriously condidering giving up all supplements and just sticking to the folic acid.
so, my dress arrived today (super quick delivery) ....hmmm dare I say it feels a little erm frumpy. I will have to see what my girls think.
MY best friend is busy tring to organise flowers and the making of a cake.....alas me feels this could get out of hand. I really dont want any fuss.
notsold and jbrdyes I confess to being very disappointed in my clinic...however I know of some forty-something mums who got no help let alone clomid so I dont want to stamp my feet too hard if you see what I mean. Patience never was my virtue and I feel almost panicky at the prospect of my time running out. IT feels as I get older that time passes far far too quickly!!!!

HI everyone. I certainly understand how it feels to have time run out. I started my "quest" for babies in my forties when I was 38, so I've been at it it for 8 years. I didn't actually start to ttc until I was 41, because it took three years to convince my DH to have a vasectomy reversal. Luckily for me DS was conceived after 7 months of trying. The hardest part has been ttc since he was born as it took about 18 months for my fertility to return after his birth, and since then I haven't missed a month trying except when pregnant or miscarrying. Those years have flown really. And I still find it hard to believe that I've yet to have another baby in arms. I am realistic, I know how slim the chances are, but I really thought being "fertile myrtle" (I have 5 kids) in the past would help my case.

It looks likely that I'll be dining on felt beret this month (I said I'd eat my hat if I wasn't pregnant) because I've had a massive temperature drop at 10 dpo and those symptoms have all but disappeared. I fully expect the Red Tide of Doom by the end of the week. To say I feel frustrated,sad,angry,let down, would be an understatement. I am really tired of the whole thing, but I still want one last baby. I guess I don't get to have everything I want,do I?

Anyway, enough doom and gloom. Isabeller, I am so glad to hear that you may have found a cause for the lump that isn't sinister. I do hope you know for sure really soon and can go ahead with your fertility treatment.

nobeer, I meant to say you have my sympathy about getting your meds right. I have suffered SJS and know how horrible it is. Luckily I only had a fairly mild case, whereas one of the ladies I work with had a severe case and was very close to death. They put her into an induced coma for 6 weeks, she was so ill. She suffered a lot of scarring too. I had an allergic reaction to an antibiotic (which was for mastitis) and became very sick, but recovered after a couple of weeks.

Calibee, I have heard mixed reviews about DHEA too, so if I were you I would consider stopping it. The idea is to take it for four months and then stop. I don't think it is supposed to be taken continuously is it? I do understand what you are saying about not upsetting the clinic, but surely you could just ask if there is a better drug for you - I have heard that Femera is better than clomid, particularly if you are over 40. Also, they should be monitoring you with ultrasound and a trigger shot. Are you paying this fertility clinic?

I was parent helper at DS's kindy yesterday. That was a lot of fun, and DS loved having me there. I think I will try to do it more often. I love seeing him happy in that environment.

No i'm not paying Gum. Its about as much as i can get out of our nhs i think. Each clinic has its own policies on monitoring. Ours just happens to be that you are monitored until the dose is deemed to be effective (my bfp first round was the best sign i guess) and then thats it, you are on your own.
I wont be taking the dhea anymore. Even though i only took it for 2 months (since miscarriage) and about the same last summer its strange that both times my ovulation has gone awry. Its no good taking something for egg quality if the darn things then hibernate eh?
I'm awake at silly o clock having woken with cystitis. Ouch. I never had it before the age of 40, but now i seem to get an attack evert few months. Gah!!!!

Thanks hopeful. Feeling bit rubbish today, taking progyluton and I swear it's triggering migraines. Clinic told me to carry on taking it but take painkillers too. Great. This ttc malarkey is literally giving me a headache!

Phew nobeer as a migraine sufferer that's one side effect I would struggle with. I'm presuming you can't take the strong pre-migraine meds to stop an attack starting?
calibee that's a shame about your clinic I'm guessing private options are expensive? (I don't know of many that aren't, certainly not in our area). Hope the cystitus leaves you quickly. I had it for the first time in 15years a few mths ago (must have been in the v.early stages of this pregnancy) and I felt totally miserable with it.
Gum arghhhh how frustrating!!!! Now the temp drop could be implantation though couldn't it? I know I would feel the way you do too, but one temp drop alone doesn't necessarily mean anything - plus wouldn't 10dpo be early for you to signal imminent start of af?
Well I have 'upgraded' my nuchal package to include the new harmony test (pretty diagnostic maternal blood test) The fetal medicine centre have a deal on whereby you can have both for the same price as the nuchal alone (£180). Initially I was hesitant as I thought I'd have the cvs anyway if a poor nuchal and bloods, but then started to worry about a cvs. The harmony basically reads the fetal dna that is present in the mother's blood, and is a good alternative to more invasive testing. So I'm down there next weds for bloods (sent off for analysis to USA), then return 2 wks later for nuchal, bloods and the harmony results. Train fares are crippling but will be glad to get some info at such an early stage.

Gum....I really hope that the drop i temperature was implantation!!!! Everything crossed for you!!!xxx

Cali....cystitis??? Ouch!!! Xxxx

Nobeer poor you . I suffered with migraines in my teens and it was beyond awful!!!

Diege....hello hun!!!

Irish, Is, Jbrd and everyone....hi, hi, hi!!!!

Dd came today to visit me. I am bloated and off certain foods ( different from nausea) and with the weirdest mood swings. Did she notice??? Did she heck??? Part of me is enjoying not telling to avoid the look of disgust of parents having sexin their 40s /50s!!!!:)

just popping by, some familiar faces I know, but lots of newbies too.

Deige you little minx you!!! Congratulations, it seems all going well so far. How fab.

Gum lots of love as always.

DS2 is now 6 months, it has flown by. I am slowly becoming resigned to no more babies, but I confess it's hard. But I sort of feel I've ridden my luck really, and should move on from the ups and downs of TTC. (Am now 45, DS1 born when I was 40, TTC from June 09, 3MMCs and 2MCs later I gave birth to DS2 in Sept 12 at 44 and 7 months - all natural conceptions)

Good luck to you all x

Hello Jollster, it is lovely to hear from you. I can see why you would be resigned to no more babies. I hope you are enjoying your lovely little boy.

I know I should move on from the ups and downs of TTC too, but I just can't seem to let it go. Looks like I don't have much of a choice in it though, what will be will be...

Deige, the temperature is still heading south sadly. Does seem a bit early for AF, but although my temp is heading downwards, it isn't below cover-line. Last night my body played tricks on me, with full-on nasty taste in my mouth and nausea, and really tender breasts, but this mornings temperature at 11 dpo, and a clearly negative test at 11 dpo both signal the end of this months hope and dreams. At least I am prepared for AF. But I can't say I am happy, I am really sad. I am just getting so much older and it is kind of hard to stay positive.

I am amazed that you can get the harmony and nuchal tests done for that price, it is so reasonable, as it is so expensive in Australia. It will be good to have the testing and peace of mind.

Calibee, cystitis sounds awful. Is it due to too much bed shaking with your young lover???You saucy minx!

Well, DS is up and hassling me, so I'd better go and sort him out. I am feeling rubbish about this cycle being a bust and I know it will be hard to keep my emotions together at work today. But I'll just have to,won't I?

Isabeller , good to hear about your GP idea! I had a lump during my first pregnancy which grow quicky, scared me a little and caused some bleeding, I guess it could be due to local progestorone therapy.. but then it was removed and biopsy showed everything fine..
I went to my gynae yesterday, she confirmed me I ovulated..
and told me she wouldn't make other investigations and just wait till June.. I'm kind of relived not to have to stress for now..
This month I had my DP on anthibiotics due to flue while DTD, I hope his swimmers won't be too badly affected.. better than nothing isn't it?

It's good to hear about weddings here, I've been with my DP for 3 years, DD was born in 2011, we planned to marry after DD2's birth but unfortunately it ended differently, we had quite a crap time after and now I just feel TTC comes first.. but we could never marry then !

Aww gum hold on in there...I hope its not all over for you yet.
Having a giggle about the bed shaking, alas my general low mood (another symtom of the now stopped DHEA I wonder?) and the fact that the children were with me last weekend kind of put a damper on that a little....not that we didnt have fun you understand, but certainly not the passionate naughtiness as is usual to us. Unfortunately the uti has stepped up a gear and this morning I was peeing blood and pacing up and down like a caged animal with the pain...so I now have antibiotics. I will not be popular at work as this week we were down to critical staff levels and I was the only regular member of staff in....however I know my concentration would have been severely impaired plus worrying about literally peeing my knickers as I stood all dayso I decided to take another day off.

jbrd I forgot to say that I hope you will still contribute regularly to the thread and not desert us now. We would miss you.

Hi to jollster I do remember you were in the last throws of your pregnancy when I joined the thread last year. Its good to hear your positive story.

Anyway..I am almost positive I will be going to Northern Ireland with my by thenDH. The only hiccup now will be my ex. The children are telling him this weekend. I did offer but my son was worried about the nasty remarks he will most definately make and preferred to do it with just him and his sisters. Of course if ex says no to them staying with him that will change things significantly.
The dress I ordered arrived and whilst it is beautiful, I feel its a litlle erm...dare I say "frumpy" and I may look for something a little more fitted. I do love my curves and I know DP does too, so maybe something a little more curve fitting is in order.

Cali Oh, I feel for you, cystitis is sooooo nasty. I speak from years of experience, and once you reach the blood-peeing stage, there is literally nothing you can do other than stay at home, close to the loo, load up on antibiotics and drink, drink, drink. Apparently, in France they call cystitis the 'disease of the blushing bride' or something like that, I was once told, quite approriate (well, in the olden days, at least).
To this day, I cannot stomach cranberry juice anymore, I just associate it with pain. Hope you feel better soon and that your mood lifts! Lots of decisions to be taken... Fingers crossed your exH plays along, do you have a plan B?

gum and for you, dear, you sound as if you need it! Try and find something nice to distract yourself from AF's arrival.

mozzarella Good news from your GP - did you have reasons for concern, or was it more of a check, to make sure everything is in order?

Well, still no symptoms here - I'm grateful and worried at the same time.

But, on a positive note, I got offered the job! I'm soooo pleased, it means I can get out of my current one very very soon, if I want to. And I do. Just waiting on their response for asking for a higher salary - what they offer is below my lowest expectations and will hit us hard, if they stick with it. I'm 99% certain I'll take it, but asking can't hurt.
Now I'm planning my exit here, timings of when I hand in my notice, when my last day is going to be and what I need to do before then etc. Plus, worrying about how I will cope with a new job when pg, and then the maternity leave & pay (the latter will be rubbish, I have no illusions about that). But I'll be so happy to leave here that it makes up for everything!

Jbrd it was just for a check.. and to feel a little proactive, because obviously I'm scared about time running out.. as many of us here..

Cali, hope you'll ex will be willing to keep your DC and won't mess things..

Weeeeeeeeeee....jbrd congratulations on the job, that's excellent news. You clever girly you x
Can you request an early scan due to previous mc?? I remember them telling me at epau on my last visit there, that your gp can refer you for a scan at 7 weeks.
Ds2 was diagnosed with intersticial cystitis about 3 years ago. From the age of about 15 she suffered constantly and no cause could be found. If I'm honest I didnt have a clue just how truly awful she must have felt until now. She was with me this morning as I paced and twitched constantly (it truly feels like I'm desperate for a pee all the time) and she said it brought back horrible memories for her...bless.

Congratulations jbrd!!! I had a feeling you would get it
Calibee ouch, poor you, some too. Fingers crossed the anti-Bs kick in soon x
Gum don't eat your beret just yet but agree lower temp again isn't great It must be very confusing to have continuing symptoms...I suppose if it were to be implantation, a test would take a few more days to show though? I suppose you have the 'heads up' if af arrives, but must be very frustrating and so disappointing for you if not to be this month xx
On harmony test, the all in £180 is a special deal, only valid at 10-11wk pregnancy. I have a feeling they want to compare with their own nuchal, so after that time it's around the £500 mark. Have seen it quoted in other places in UK at £750 so doubt it will be available on the NHS anytime soon.If it wasn't for the offer I couldn't afford it.
Have horrible sore sinuses here and have had a very unproductive day work-wise. Fell asleep this afternoon (wfh) and had a very odd and disturbing dream about the fireman from Corrie (Eileen's boyfriend) on our wedding night