Right, that's it! Fabulous Forty Somethings ttc want our bfp's and we want them now! We have waited long enough!

[hopefulgum]

Here's our shiney new thread. The one where I finally get upduffed with everyone else!

Grrr, AF came yesterday. I didn't really think I could be pg so it's not that - it's that the timing's all wrong so I can't take the clomid and do the IUI this cycle. I would need to be at home from CD8 (or 9 or 10, can't remember) for daily blood tests, and I'm away for work both this week and next. I discussed this possibility with the specialist, and he said that another month's wait wouldn't change much - but patience is not my greatest virtue. I just want to get on with it.

Anyway, greetings to you all from Dublin. I'd never been before and now I'm coming twice in two weeks. And a special hello for jbrd - how are you?

Haha...green you make you laugh. Have to say your thoughts on gums feelings re ttc are very well put. Here here.....claps.
Ok Ok...I will try and take some pics of dresses. I may have to get you to let me have your email addresses though as no-way can I put them up on here. Hope the windiness has subsided...parp!!!!
Nice to hear from you nobeer...sorry to here your feeling a bit deluded, keep chin up and I hope the next hysteroscopy goes ok.
morien...poo to the bad timings. I know exactly how that feels. If i had the money I would do iui just so that I could still be in with a chance when DP is not around. Afterall...every month lost is vital at this age.

Good news for me today. I won my case at work. They have very reluctantly agreed that I can have that week off in August. Such a shame they had to be threatened with action before they would release their iron hold. I only fight that hard when I "know" I'm right so I am satisfied that justice has been done.
I am now 5-8dpo (still not sure...I guess only af wil tell) and no symptoms. Although to be fair I'm not really much of a symptom spotter. Oddly though since mc I have not suffered as many pms symtoms in the run up to af...at one point last year my boobs were so sore it was painful to lie on, but not anymore. Has anybody else noticed this post mc?

jbrd sending you my love, I hope you are coping ok x

Hi ladies, been keeping up with all your news but I'm very quiet in RL so don't post much.
Very sad to heard jbrd's news and have been thinking about you all.

It's hard to think about keeping on ttc when everything is against us but you ladies are an inspiration and I look forward to reading all your news and am dying to see THE wedding dress Hope we are invited to the virtual wedding....who will catch your bouquet?

Lts of love to you all

Hello ladies. Can I join in? (have never posted properly before so might not make sense). I'm 42 and my partner had vasectomy reversal yesterday. Feel excited and scared - scared that left it too late to ttc. Need some friends that understand

calibee, this is my first cycle post mc and I'm on day 25. I have no sore breasts at all. DS is still having one bf a day and that would always be really sore post OV, but now nothing. If I hadn't been using cbfm and seen ewcm I'd have no suspicion at all that I'd OV'd. Perhaps I didn't. Anyway, I've done nothing unfortunately to make being pregnant even a remote possibility.

How was it for you jbrd? How are you now?

hi everyone!!!

I am still around reading your posts and fx for all of us to get a bfp!!!
But the reason I am posting is that I am really enjoying reading about calibee weddings plans
Also hoping jbrd that you know that we wish you the best and sending my lovexxxxx
gum a male python and all this things happening to you!!!! I alwsys think of you and irish

Hi to everyone else...xxxxxx

Back to lurking mode >

Congratulations on your win Calibee

Delurking to say we have been in limbo which has been rather difficult. Yesterday I suddenly got a message to say I could go in today for an endometrial scratch as preparation for a frozen cycle .

love and luck to all

Isabeller, lovely to hear from you. I hope an endometrial scratch is not as horrible as it sounds, but brilliant news that you're able to start getting ready for a frozen cycle.

Nice to see you littlepink, hope you're ok and you get your BFP soon

Remnant, how are you doing? Good to see you here too.

Hi Carrie and good luck!

I told DD about the baby at the weekend. She's very excited, though the first thing she asked was could she have a sister, so I had to explain that was out of my control! She of course want the baby to come straight away, but has also had some sensible practical thoughts about need a car seat and not wanting to squash the baby when she sits on my knee. I very relieved she's taken it well.

Hi to everyone else.

Hello everyone, hope you are all well! Sorry for being quiet, I've been keeping myself busy - in a good way, lots of gardening and baking in the last few days. We now have so much bread, I've been trying lots of different recipes. Even made a brioche for the first time at the weekend, which turned out quite well! Two more breads are proving as I write, very therapeutic .
I've also been trying out the cake that I plan to make for the joint 2nd birthday party with out parents' group - I want to make a rainbow cake, tried making the layers yesterday. It looks great, especially when you cut into it, but it does taste rather boring (I think because of all the food colouring). So I've decided to make a separate cake for the adults at the party, too, the kiddies can have the plain-tasting one

I'm pleased and so relieved that this time, my body seems to have taken care of the miscarriage by itself. I woke up in a lot of pain on Saturday, DH had to get me painkillers, as I could not get out of bed. But then all was fine in the afternoon, I had a good go at the garden, hacking back lots of overgrown bushes. Then, in the evening, I passed what I believe to be the embryonic sac - really don't know what else it could've been but that.
And since then, no pain at all, and the bleeding is getting less. So I hope that's it... I have another scan on Friday to check what's been happening.
I feel so very relieved that I won't have to wait around for things to happen, that was my greatest worry, after how long it took last time (particularly with me starting my new job next week!). I feel I can draw a line now and, hopefully, start to move on. I just hope the bleeding will stop soon.
My DH has been so brilliant (again) - when we had the sad news at the scan last Thursday, he dropped everything and took 2 days off work to be with me. He looked after DS all weekend, to let me do my thing. I can't thank him enough (sorry for going all soppy here)

I've reset my CBFM, got out the thermometre again and started a new FF chart

Cali Good to hear that your work has finally yielded, but I agree, shame that you had to bring out the big guns, that sort of thing leaves everyone involved with a bad taste in the mouth.
I'm with everyone else and want to see pictures of your dress(es)! Have you picked your music selection for the registry office yet? DH and I spent ages choosing songs, which in the end only we really noticed (but I guess that's why you do it)

green Any more symptoms? Is your temp still up?

hopeful Hope you're feeling a bit less glum... This ttc journey is such a rollercoaster - does anyone actually enjoy it, I wonder?!

Morien Sorry about af arriving, are you managing to distract yourself in Dublin? It's a nice city.

Welcome NotCarrieBradshaw, hope you won't have to stay here long! Lots of lovely people on this thread, with lots of wisdom and lots of support.

Sparkly Pleased to hear that your DD is happy about getting a sibling. How are you doing? Any improvements with your DH...?

Isabeller Oh, how exciting! Although it does sound rather uncomfortable, how do they do it? And what happens after the scratch?

You are impressing me with your positivity jbrd . I've had 3 mc and a couple of chemical pregnancies and I must say they floored me. I wallowed in self pity instead of getting up and being thankful for what I had.

Going spinning now around 3 times a week which is keeping me fit and also take ds every morning to a toddlers group which we both love. I love him very much and would so like a little pal for him. He already has 3 big sisters who adore him.

I have to say I am very lucky x

jbrd you are so brave....well done you.
Music is picked ...I think. Time to change my mind though yet lol. It all seems a bit unreal at the moment with DP being away and out of contact. Its weird really but at times like this I almost feel "single" again if that makes sense, and planning a wedding seems strange without him to talk to and get excited with. ...I guess its the independent side of me taking over.

not carrie just wanted to say welcome and lots of luck. Its not the easiest of rides but its good to have people to talk to who know what its like.

remnant how odd that we both have symptomless pms since mc. Not that I'm complaining....it just sets off niggles in the old brain as to whatever else could be going on. How are you doing anyway?

isabeller what's an endometrial scratch?? It sounds like a positive step though.

sparkly so glad your dd took it well. I expect that was a relief? Don't be a stranger.

Hi to notsoold I hope your ok xxx

All I can say about today is that I want to eat chocolate....and lots of it. Gah!!!

Thank you all for your welcomes. I've been following this thread for a while and I'm struck by just how brave you all are. I hope I will be too. Have to wait two weeks before I can pounce on Dp by which time AF will be due.
I'm giving him so many vitamin supplements to take he rattles as he hobbles up the stairs

carrie got to be honest...I dont think its brave its just a refusal to give up on the goal.
So do they give any idea if the reversal will have worked??

Hi Calibee. No idea really. Consultant said everything had gone well but have to wait until sperm analysis in 3 months time. Trying not to get too excited as there was a 15 year gap between original vasectomy and the reversal, so the odds aren't great.
But I want it so badly that I have to try and stay positive.

Well stay with us carrie the ladies on here are fantastic...very good at bringing you up when the going is tough. We have all had our ups and downs but we still keep at it

Hi girls. Just a quick one as I am in bed on my phone. We are at our friends and having a lovely time.

Funny thing is I thought for sure I would have AF here by now. Though it is only 13 dpo, so it isn't late. I dont have any tests or thermometer so its wait and see. Boobs were still tender last night but not so much now.

Nice to see lots of action on the thread. jbrd I am pleased to hear that things are going well. I bet your house smells so lovely with all the baking.

Welcome notcarrie. I have an inkling of what you're going through as my dh had a reversal and we started ttc when I was 41. My lovely DS snuggling next to me is a result of the reversal. I was so impatient to see if it worked so I bought a microscope and looked for myself. It is very exciting seeing the sperm wriggling around.
I hope it all goes well. Is your DH taking fish oil and vitamin E to reduce inflammation? Some drs prescribe anti inflammatories post op to reduce scarring which is the biggest issue.

Getting cramp in my hand from typing on this tiny screen...bye for now.

Welcome carrie!
Nice to see you delurking notsoold!
Isabeller that endometrial scratching doesn't sound the most pleasant of experiences, how soon after it do you have your embryo transfer?
remnant hope your cycle is back to normal soon. After my two later miscarriages my cycle was 35 days, ovulating on cd23 though after my mc at 6 wks I ovulated on cd14.
sparkly sounds like your DD is looking forward to being a big sister. When I was expecting DD2, DD1 (3.5 at the time) was going through a real tomboy phase and was adamant she wanted a little brother who she had decided to call "Batman". She was cross when she heard a little girl had been born but as soon as she saw her it was fine and they get on well now.
CaliBee you must be proud of your children,will DD have to move away to start her nursing degree or will she be based at her dad's? Well done to your DS on his exam results. It is amazing how grown up lads look when they put on a suit,but even if he's over 6 ft he's still your little boy!
Great that you won your battle at work. Enjoy the chocolate, consider it therapeutic!
JBrd you must be relieved things seem to have resolved without intervention. Your DH sounds lovely and very supportive.
I'm impressed by the brioche, is it difficult and do you use a breadmaker?
The only bread I make is what the DCs call "irish mammy bread", a sort of wholemeal soda bread but it's dead easy and doesn't involve yeast.
littlepink you must be getting fit with all that spinning! You're right that it's good to feel thankful for what we've got. I do feel that going through pregnancy loss has made me appreciate the love and support of relationships within my family even more. I suppose even if I manage to have a baby now, in time he/she( and all the DCs) will grow up and move out, ultimately it will be me and DH alone together so I try not to lose sight of cherishing that relationship as a couple too.
Having said that, I know how you feel gum about feeling a member of the family is missing. I didn't realise that yearning until I lost a baby myself. I don't think it's trivial or that you should feel bad about how you feel. It's hard to measure someone else's pain. With losing someone older who has lived you are grieving because you knew them and loved them and miss them. With pregnancy loss it feels like you're losing someone you loved already but you miss never having had the chance to know them, they should have been part of your future. I don't know if that feeling of incompleteness ever fades or if it just becomes easier to deal with in time.
For others the feeling of wanting a baby and never having one at all must bring it's own imaginable and unique pain,I do realise I'm lucky to have my DC.
I hope you have a nice break this week.
I love reading about your Australian adventures with pythons and passion fruit etc by the way!
Hi to green and everyone else.

Morning Ladies

Welcome Carrie and good luck ? hope that the reversal works out ok and ?normal? operations resume soon. You have come to the right place: full of support, wisdom and understanding and you can discuss all the things you couldn?t in real life .

jbrd you are being so strong ? the way you have picked yourself up is a real inspiration. I have a mental image of you and your family under a pile of different kinds of bread working their way through your produce . Your DH sounds amazing and I am so glad that he is looking after you.

Irishmammy my mum always made all our bread by hand when we were growing up and my absolute favourite was soda bread ? warm from the oven, with butter. Heaven. She still makes it now when I go to visit

nobeer how are you feeling after your hysteroscopy? Can I ask why they need to keep checking? It sounds quite invasive for you to go through. Fingers crossed you get pregnant before the next one.

Calibee Glad you have managed to get your leave in August but what a carry on! Good for you for sticking to your guns and it turned out right in the end. I think its romantic that you are apart from DF for a while, really time to reflect and when you get back together it will be all the more special .

Isabeller what the heck is an endometrial scratch? What is it for? What are the timescales for your frozen cycle? I have everything crossed for you and MrIsabeller.

Sparkly how lovely that you DD was happy with the news and sweet that she was worried about squashing her. It?s amazing what goes on kids minds! Hope you are feeling good?

Update on my symptoms at 10DPO. Temperature bounced up . I still have increased CM (I have been wearing dark pants everyday to check!) , still have twinging/pulling sensation my right side (side of inactive ovary) , but new symptom alert I am struggling to sleep in until my alarm (I have been up at six 4 days in a row ? this is unheard off for me - I am the sleep monster!!), nipples still standing to attention and the windiness ? gawd. . I promised DP I wouldn't test until the weekend when he was back from a work trip but hey you know how it is?I am due out for drinks tonight so I thought it would be best and all that. Ladies I appear to have a faint bfp on a FRER. Oh. My. God.

OMG, GREEN!! That is absolutely f*ing fantastic! Congratulations, hun, I'm so so happy for you! Best news of the day, you must be so thrilled (well, I hope you are, because I am)

Fingers crossed green lizard and hello again everyone. I've half caught up with the thread, so many ups and downs lovely news and disappointments. Like others I've been struggling a bit, also very caught up with arrangements for DPs Mum's care.

Our treatment has suddenly restarted and I think it will take me a few days to adjust to this. The endo scratch was very uncomfortable but didn't take long. The plan is that I will have FET in my next cycle and the emotional rollercoaster is ready to go .

Endo scratch is like an endometrial biopsy ie the womb lining is scratched. I think it began because a researcher noticed higher IVF pregnancy rates in women who'd had a biopsy the month before. It's used when there have been previous high quality embryo transfers that failed to implant, the theory being that the healing process makes the womb more receptive.

Fantastic green wow! Well done!

Green....that is the news of he day!!! Congratulations!!! Xxx

greenlizard !!!! and just after you'd been to the fertility clinic too!

Hello notcarrie - welcome. Fingers crossed for your DP's reversal... And in the meanwhile you'll find lots of support here.

jbrd you're amazing. And your baking sounds fantastic. I'm currently growing a sourdough starter culture at home, which should be ready to start baking with by the time I get home on Sunday (assuming DP & DSD have followed my very strict instructions for feeding it They're also in charge of watering all my seedlings...)

hopeful I dreamt about your python the other night!

Have been feeling a bit despondent this week. As I said, the treatment I've been offered involves taking Clomid for a few days at the start of my cycle, and then from about CD9 having a blood test/scan every day until ovulation or just before, when they'll do the IUI. So I need to be home between CD9 and ovulation. As this cycle my body's pretending it has regular, normal-ish length cycles and AF came on CD34, this month is out as I'm back in Dublin next week for work again, bang when I need to be at home. So I start looking to the next couple of months...and I'm worried that I won't be able to do it till August! DP and I have just booked a week in Morocco, just the 2 of us, from 9th June, and then we've got a week away with the DSCs 15th July - I'm worried I won't be home at the right time. (And there's no question of our not going to Morocco, as we both desperately need a holiday, and obviously I'm not going to cancel the kids's holiday).

However, I'm thinking if I take the drugs to bring on my period, aiming to give myself something closer to a 28-day cycle, I might even be able to do it next cycle, so I'd do the IUI before we go on holiday. So a question for calibee and anyone else who's used Provera or anything similar - how long does it take? If I took it in, say, CD25, when might I get AF?

Wow green.....thrilled to bits for you. I just knew a bfp was due x
Morien...my provera was prescribed at 20mg daily for 16 yes 16!!! Days. When i questioned the fertility clinic as to there "off license" dosage they just said they liked their ladies to have a good bleed. Hmmmm....as usual i did my own thing and took 20mg (still the highest daily dose) for 10 days the first time and af arrived bang on 14 days later. The second time i did 20 mg for 7 days and af turned up 3 days later. It may be worth bearing in mind that first time i was only on about cd10 when i started them ( i was impatient to get going with clomid) and 2nd time i was on cd29.
Please excuse poor typing...on phone.

Have to say morien that i would be tempted phone in sick.
Eeeeek...i never said that did i??? No surely not. Wink.