TTC #2 and turning into a nut job!

[gemmeg]

Ladies, bring me back down to Earth before it's too late! I'm TTC #2 and its only the 2nd cycle and I'm already doing my own head in not to mention my OH.....we're not the kind of couple to have regular sex when not TTC (much to my disappointment ) so it's a real effort for DS to, erm, pull his finger out as it were and DTD every other day. With DS1 I had no idea about CM and OPKs and just used an ovulation calendar for timing but this time round I'm in danger of falling into the OPK trap! I'm aware of my constant whittling and DH even said that he hopes I get pregnant this month so he doesn't have to listen to me begging for him to do it just one more time! Anyone in the same boat?

I'm in a right old tizz! Been having abdominal twinges/mild cramps the past couple of days and (tmi) LOADS of milky but fairly stretchy cm.....would love to be DTD tonight but DH was vomming his guts up yesterday night so is still out of action. Still no smiley but surely it must be round the corner??? DH better have recovered by then!

Gemmeg sounds like you are onto a winner!! I get twinges and the milky stretchy discharge a few days before I get a positive opk - fingers crossed you DH gets better soon! X

Another month, another fail.

I really thought it would happen this month. I guess because it happened so quickly with dd that I presumed dtd at the right times would be all it took. But we did it lots (well 4-5 times at the right time) so it was just one of those things.

At Christmas I kept thinking that we'd be a family of four by next Christmas and that's another milestone gone.

I always thought that I'd stop for month now because both dd and DH have January birthdays, but if I got pregnant next month, it'd be due around Boxing Day. So then I'd have to have next month off too so I think I'll just keep going.

I just wanna go "Waaaah! It's not fair!"

Sorry to hear that 2be . I so know what you mean about high expectations. I also fell pg quickly with DS and while TTC I remember telling myself it could take as long as a year so I was more relaxed. This time round I'm so much more anxious as I know how quickly it could happen. It also looks like we'll be leaving it for this month what with DH being ill and all. Anyway, I hear April is a great month to conceive . Got a feeling it'll be our month xx

It would be so nice for some of us to get our BFPs at the same time so we can keep this thread going through pregnancy. Fingers crossed!!

Can I join? We've been ttc dc2 for 20 cycles. Ds was conceive cycle 1. I'm now having fertility investigations, day 21 bloods and dh's tests fine. I think that my previous emergency c section has left some sort of problem and I feel very very bitter about it.

My best friend has had her second baby today. In contrast I have started my period today and am off for a fertility appointment this afternoon. I feel very depressed. I am actually considering going to the gp for anti depressants.

Hi there whatsdoneisdone I hope you get some answers soon. I also know of someone who is having fertility issues after having an easy first conception and an emergency c-section. Do you know for sure your c-section is the issue? You've come to the right place for moral support. Let it all out on here!

I don't but I can't see what else has changed. Cycles very predictable, 28 days, know exactly when ovulating so definitely getting the timing right.
I think that with 20 attempts at exactly the right time I should have fallen pregnant unless something was wrong.

I now also have a lot of pain around ovulation. I always experienced some pain but the actual day of ovulation is now very painful. The dr said that it is unlikely that a c section would cause infertility and irl everyone I know that has had a c section has had no problems getting pregnant again. However a quick google shows that while is night not be common it definitely can happen.

Welcome What, I understand what you're going through right now. It took 2 years for me to get pg first time and it is incredibly difficult to keep going without feeling depressed.

My sister got pg 'by accident' and just had her baby this week, which I'm finding very hard as we've been ttc#2 properly for 6 cycles this time round now without success. I've actually been in tears most of this week as a result and dh just doesn't understand it.

As for the pain around ovulation, I don't know about anyone else, but both times I've been ttc I didn't have pain to start with then the longer we ttc the most intense the pain becomes. I try to look on this as a positive sign that I am definetly ovulating and a good indicator of when we should be dtd.

I also had a c section first time round and often wonder if that may be having an impact this time as I have heard that scar tissue can be a prob. We had fertility investigations first time round and my gp said she would refer us again if nothing has happened this current cycle or the next one. At least you are now underway with the investigations and will hopefully get some answers soon.

On another note, I noticed a few people on here don't seem to want xmas babies. Personally I would be so overjoyed just to be pg that I don't care when birthdays fall!

Meant to ask if anyone knows what I should do. I have a hosp appoint on Mon and will very probably be having a x-ray, however af is also due Mon/Tue. Am hoping if I'm not pg that af will turn up before I go because if not I'm facing having to POAS before I'm late and before I feel ready to test (I don't actually share the POAS obsession! I'm terrified of doing it as I can't deal with the negative outcome) Thanks.

Hi whatsdone. You are more than welcome here. Your 20 months make me three look pathetic though! I don't about c-section causing problems but I do know that we are all that little bit older and in my case a little bit heavier so it's bound to take a little bit longer.

tiny I understand your pain. Whilst you feel so happy for others, it just reminds you of your own situation. I actually don't care about Christmas, but I will be resigned to being skint every January. That said DH and I have spoken and decided to keep trying. I don't care that much!!! I don't know what you should do - I do have the POAS obsession!!

Finally, does anyone know if you'd still have a period if you didn't ovulate. I remember having a pain on my left side (about where my kidneys are) but deaf no EWCM so I don't even know if I did ovulate. Is it time for the OPKs?

So basically the fertility consultant I saw today said he could refer me for an hsg but to think about whether it's really worth it because the nhs won't do anything anyway because I already have a child.

If the hsg shows there's a problem and we'd need help to conceive the nhs won't do anything.

If the hsg shows no problem, then again the nhs won't do anything.

So either way the nhs won't do anything!

Hi ladies!! 2beornot, you will still have a period even if you didn't ovulate as your body has to get rid of the thickened womb lining your body produces in preparation for ovulation. I have really irregular cycles and took it that I was ovulating as I was having periods but my dr told me otherwise - that's the reason I use opks.

I would love a Christmas baby - love the idea that instead of a 'bun in the oven' I would have a Christmas pudding growing nicely inside!! Xx

It's officially the 1st day of spring and we all know what that means. ... its mating time. I'm sorry to hear that so many of you are feeling a bit low about not getting that bfp yet, but let's all remain positive and try not to stress about it. I have so many friends that struggled to get pregnant, underwent fertility treatments and then got pregnant by accident a few months after the baby was born. It goes to show how stress can and does effect fertility.

Two of my friends announced their pregnancy this week. Both of them were not planned. One is a bridesmaid at the same wedding as me in July so she is standing down and her ds will be a page boy instead. I really can't let my friend down now by getting pregnant before the wedding, so I'm going to be a bit more careful (well, maybe not in June).
AF arrived today, so i can start studying my cycle now. I think I get my ovulation pain after I ovulate. Is that possible?

Think I'm out this month too. Due tomorrow and feel the dreaded cramping... Cracked and did a poas yesterday and it was negative... Roll on April!

ninunina I know what you are saying, but someone telling me not to stress is like telling me not to breathe!! It wouldn't be so bad if AF didn't dump a fresh batch of hormones every time she comes. I am remaining positive though. We've got two weddings to go to that I can now enjoy a celebratory drink (one without dd too!) and I'm already looking forward to a "Christmas pudding in the oven" (love that phrase mummytoarkbuilder).

coffee I'm really sorry to hear that. It may sound odd but I genuinely hope others get their BFPs. Seems like this thread is actually doing some good if we get at least one BFP every month!

Coffee I don't want to give you false hope but that's exactly how I felt when it turned out I was pregnant with DS. You never know!

I'm going out tomorrow night and feel like drinking and smoking as if to dare myself to be pregnant this cycle. The obsessive me hasn't emerged yet but still 10 days to go until AF due so plenty of time for the rambling nut job to come out!

Feel bad for so many of us being down about it. 3 cycles drove me round the bend last time so I can easily see how that could turn into depression.

At least we can all be honest with each other on here without fear of being judged. I think it's hard for our DPs/DHs to understand how it takes over us sometimes and that hormones are also a cruel addition to the process at the exact time we don't need them.

I'm starting to think I'll forget about avoiding a Christmas baby if it doesn't happen this month. I'm too impatient!

Hi... A few people have mentioned cheapy preg and opk tests - might buy some online. Don't have an eBay account - has anyone bought from Amazon and can recommend?

Asmidge - I bought cheap OPK's from Amazon (company called home Health UK Ltd), got 30 for about £5, but if you buy a bigger batch it works out cheaper. They were a bit fiddly but if you follow the instructions seem to work just as well as the more expensive ones.

What - am confused that nhs would do investigations then not do anything about it. I did wonder when my gp said she would refer me this time as I didn't think anyone would help me second time around. There is something called Secondary Infertility, basically that you have one child then don't seem to be able to have any more, but I would think (or hope) that they would help if they are going to the trouble of investigating it. Just a thought, but maybe if you found out what was wrong, could you afford to have treatment privately?

Hang in there, it may just take a bit longer this time. I thought it may be easier for me second time as everyone says you are more fertile after having one baby, but at almost 36 I have that against me now too.

I have also tried cheapy OPKs which I got from amazon. As tiny says, they were about a fiver for 30. I also bought the clearblue digital tests to try. Yesterday I did a cheapy at 11am=neg, cb at 4pm=neg then a cheapy at 8pm which I think was pos but DH still not feeling 109%. I'm going to do a cb one this morning to see if I get a smiley face and hope he can manage it later

I just realised yesterday that I've been counting my LP wrong and i believe it's actually shorter than I thought at just 9 days . I cant be totally sure as i dont know exactly when i ov and af might come late again. I've ordered some agnus castus and vitamin b to try to lengthen it. Does anyone else have experience with these? If I do get a pos opk then I thought we'd just have a go and see what happens.

Just got my smiley .

Great news gemmeg - hope your DH feels better as he as a busy weekend

I am also worried about my LP as I have had a couple of short ones - I may start taking vitamin B to help lengthen it x

I don't care if he feels like it or not mummy . He can lie back and think of England if he wants, ha ha ha!! Just kidding, I hope he's up to it but if not then at least I know now that I ov a lot later than I first thought so we can plan for next month.

Excellent news gemmeg. I think I am going to try OPKs if this cycle doesn't work. I don't know when/if I'm ovulating so it would be reassurance. Although I do have quite regular cycles so I'm guessing cd14+/- 1day is a pretty good estimate. I was quite down yesterday, but am looking forward now.

Very nervous now as af due just after the weekend. Mildly sore boobs, no cramps, lots of cm (usually have very sore boobs and lots of cramps by now). Trying to keep busy but weather horrendous so can't get out to take my mind off it. Coping strategies anyone?