TTC 10+ months Part 13

[buzzybee123]

A very friendly and supportive thread for those taking way longer than they had ever expected to make a baby.

x posts with madness oooh there are so cute little baby stuff to knit, I have knitted a cardigan and several hats and booties, but mainly for my own non existent baby, there is nothing like home knitted items

Hello ladies, sorry to see that the troll has been back to bite again. How very boring A very unfortunate turn of events and another sad day for thread when so many here are struggling with much bigger problems. I hope you're all well and having nice weekends in RL. I'm still here, cheer leading you all on and wanted to say that I think you're all marvellous; kind; generous of spirit; wise; witty; and very decent human beings. I don't understand why a troll is attacking such wonderful individuals who are dealing with such a shitty hand. And I saw Nelly's extension of help on the bump bump bump thread and Sar's lovely words about how helping and being positive is a nicer way of conducting oneself. Well done for dealing with in a very dignified manner, I hope it hasn't caused too much upset, none of you deserve to be personally attacked either . I hope that's that over with for now. I hope the troll doesn't attack any other ladies on any other TTC threads either. Trolls have feelings too but shouldn't lash out or seek pleasure from kind people who just want to help. If you're reading - please leave these ladies in peace and other ladies dealing with this crap too. Big hugs and lots of love to all xxx

WTF has been happening on the Fred today? It makes me :( I hope all involved are ok. Mumsnet HQ, I assume you've been reading as you deleted buzzy's post... when you see fit to ban someone, do you do it via their email? Once you have banned them, it really should be final. What has happened today is no good for anyone. Some of us on here are having a shitty time and are very vulnerable (as presumably is viv). Please sort it out!

buzz I loved your posts from last night! It's so lovely to see you out and about enjoying yourself. Hope the flowers are looking well nice.

madness pleased to hear you are feeling a bit better. Do you get periods with your drugs or is the whole point that you don't?!

lemon hoping you start to feel better soon. I'm pretty sure my eggs were fried this month too by my flu! How do we hide the fred away?! Is that possible?

grouch your weekend sounds lovely. I've hiked miles today, around Westfield :) Not so scenic.

euro and doll hope all's going well with you both. Euro has the spotting stopped now?

princess lovely to 'see' you as ever.

sar I'm loving your low key approach to the FET. My period is due any day and then we'll be starting. Like you, I haven't been thinking about it all that much and have drunk far far too much this weekend. I think I'd rather be relaxed and try not to mental too much about it. It's tough trying to maintain the balance of keeping busy and distracted, but giving myself time to rest and some emotional space for it all. I am positive you will get your baby some day. You make such amazing embryos. It's just a matter of time. Hang in their lovely.

Greetings to everyone else. I phone still a bit fooked (nearly cried in apple when they told me it can't be fixed), so it's not easy to scroll back.

We have had a crazy busy, fun weekend, involving a house full and lots of going out. I did have a preg announcement, well not so much of an announcement as a here's my bump, when I saw her, but kinda managed it and tried to banish my barren feelings. Dave's bestie is here from overseas. They've been through 2 unsuccessful ivfs too, so it's been great to be able to talk to him about it all and felt a bit like strength in barreners no.s, when we met up with friends with kids. I think something that is really difficult aspect of infertility is how isolating it can be. Anyway, I'm off to watch shit tv and maybe have a gin. Hope you are all having nice weekends despite on Fred nastiness.

Woahhhhh. Whilst I have spent the day up to my neck in kitchen DIY, did my attempts to help someone, who seemed very desperate and in need of it, actually make the recipient turn on us . Well I can safely say I've not written words or behaved in a way I wouldn't be happy to do face to face. Wonder if everyone who has been deleted from written on this thread can say the same.

I will catch up properly later but Sar your words were amazing yesterday, to everyone. You are such a wonderful beautiful person. Everyone on this thread is, I'm not sure why anyone would want to destroy that. Here's the thing. It won't.

Hi all

Well I completely missed all the posts by the Troll Formerly Known As Viv, but having seen her contributions to previous threads I can imagine the kind of content. How unbelievably tedious. I mean, could you be arsed? Shape shifting all the time just to write ranty abuse at a load of strangers who have only ever been nice to you? That's someone with serious problems imo.

Anyway, on to more interesting things. Buzz at the flower theft (and at blaming your friend for getting you drunk). I'm glad they were from a posh bar, for a minute I wondered if you'd been robbing graveyards . Kayla seems impressively omnivorous. Nibbling a biscuit though? Not on!

Rabbit glad you're out of the tent. How do you feel about the IUI + clomid option? I was glad to read your comment about not wanting to make an announcement if diffed. That's just how I feel. I have still only told close family and friends and everyone else can wait. I am sure there'll be a lot of people who will only find out when it's actually born. Those I have told have been . Clearly I have never seemed the maternal type! How is the fur baby? I hope he's improving.

Euro I'm 16 weeks (and still in the fat stage). Those 16 weeks have crawled by unbearably slowly but at the same time I'm amazed and very thankful to have got to this point. Still not taking anything for granted though. I wonder if I ever will.

Mrsden sorry about the announcement and the weird boss behaviour! I would put bets on it not lasting longer than a fortnight.

Madness sorry about the trip to the tent. You've been through absolutely loads and it's not surprising you will feel down sometimes especially with the drugs. But you are on the right track. The ex having children is the pits but as Sar wisely says, you don't want his babies. I'm not in touch with any exes never been any good at 'amicable' so I'm spared that knowledge but i bet there will be some around.

Critter hope you had a great weekend doing child-free things and especially at the Bush twin restaurant!

Sweet good news on a potential diagnosis. From my (limited) knowledge of polycycstic ovaries I think there are two varieties. One is polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) which comes with a range of symptoms caused by hormones being out of whack and resistance to insulin. But it is also possible to have ovarian cysts without the actual syndrome so hormone tests would be normal. Hopefully now they have found something you will be able to get appropriate treatment.

Lemon bugger about the illness, really sorry about the cancelled cycle, that's the pits when you have been stabbing away. Due dates are always horrible. Mine coincided with my birthday, which is also a week after the anniversary of my dad's death (we have a terrific sense of timing in our family). This year I should've been celebrating a first birthday along with my own but instead was in the stirrups awaiting ET with a huddle of embryologists peering up my chuff . In my experience though the first anniversaries of that nature are the worst. Planning to do something nice that day as someone suggested is good advice. And one of the next two months could be the magic one.

Sar lovely to see a long post from you and exciting that the FET cycle has started. The lap will have made a difference and you have every chance of success this time. One day at a time.

Nelly I did at Mr N's 'mating ritual' and its rationale. Good on you for gearing up for another round of IVF.

Gin hurrah for the crazy fun weekend. I'm glad you've had RL friends to talk to about IVF, and Dave too. i do think it's harder for men to talk about this stuff.

Joy how are you doing? And Doll? hope the feeling shitty was only temporary and that the evil cow made you feel like that must not be uncharitable bollocks to charitable, she was an evil cow

Waves to everyone, hope you've all had good weekends. I'm going to rescue my knitting, which I flung across the room in a strop after my 6th attempt to fathom the chart for my shawl border still looks nothing like it's supposed to. And breathe...

Thanks Gin. I have just had the one day of spotting so far - at 15dpEC, and the day after my BFP was confirmed by the clinic. I hope it stays that way. I'm glad you have some fellow IVFers to talk to. I found it helpful that my two closest friends had been there before me, although I cannot quite believe that all three of us have ended up needing it! Scan is this week on Thursday. Apparently if we see a heartbeat then, the miscarriage risk is down to 10%, so I will still be worried, but it will be another hurdle crossed.

I agree with you that everyone who has posted on this thread is vulnerable to some extent. It's just a shame that some people deal with that by lashing out at others. I hope we can move on now. This thread has been an amazing support for me over the past 18 months and I feel like I know you all like close friends, despite not having met most of you.

Good luck to FETers and other ACers.

x-post, Nelly. Wise words

Art 16 weeks - blimey. That seems to have flown by (although not for you of course!). I bet your bump will pop any day now!

Sounds like a good weekend gin. Strength in numbers is definitely the way to go. My rl ivf and endo friends have been a lot of help, including knowing looks when the baby talk gets too much in the office. In answer to your question, the point of the drugs is that I don't have periods so the endo shouldn't be growing back. I think the existing stuff should "settle down" as well. It's the longest I have ever gone without a period so despite the miserable symptoms it has been amazing to be able to go without pads and painkillers

nelly not your fault at all and we're not about to let a little unpleasantness disrupt the fred. Onwards and upwards. Hope the kitchen is looking lovely.

Hello again. Sorry for vanishing for 2 weeks - I only meant it to be a day or two but I got some work (I'm a freelancer) and then, well, there was a lot of catching up to do!

Really happy to hear some good BFP news & hope all goes the best it possibly can for doll, Euro and Joy.

I think someone asked what flavour of foreign I am --- I am Swiss/English, 10 years in UK, back in Switzerland since last summer. French speaking part. TTC-wise, I am 14 months in, age 29, DP 31. Have just ordered a bunch of cheapie OPKs thanks to a tip upthread (they cost a king's ransom here) and am debating buying that book about Taking Charge of Your Fertility - any one recommend it? avoid it?

I also have a question about stress - one thing I read said that stress doesn't usually affect fertility, unless, it's something major like 'the death of a parent or living in a warzone'. Now, Switz is no warzone, but the other... Does anyone know if it's likely? and if so how long the effects might last?

Outside TTC, I read a lot, often romance novels lately (because they always end happily!) ski and knit (just started a second sock today). Living with my mum & DP & a black cat who is not sure if she is lucky or not.

Waves To art - 16 weeks!!!! How time flies. Hang in there with the border. I have yet to make it past my tension square for little jumper.......

Will be thinking of you Thursday euro.

Ok officially walking away from mn for tonight!

art Ha if I was stealing from graveyards I would have hit an all time low I only 'acquire' items from good establishments. I did see Terry Venables there with his kids, I thought he looked a bit rough but goodness knows what he must have thought we looked like
Eating my biscuits is a step too far, just think of your knitting as a one off original

gin my comment back to her was a bit strong so no surprise it was deleted, although nelly I would most certainly say it to her face :) she is an unpleasant creature, I would imagine she is using different emails which shows a level of planning and premeditation to behave in a certain way.

gin glad you had a fab weekend, glad you were able to speak to someone, it does help to have someone in RL to talk to especially if they have the same experiences, my drinking buddies friends are very supportive, one is is nearly 20 years older that me and has 3 gown up kids, not sure how how old the other friend is but they asked sensible questions and one then worked out the due date and was pleased it would be the same star sign as she is

Thanks nelly for the reassurance about the drugs freezing mishap - really! Sorry about the deadline.

critter how was your fancy meal out? I'm impressed by your VIP spotting. Hilary Clinton certainly beats Manuel from Fawlty Towers and the gangly Gallagher.

sweetgrouch sorry that your ovaries appear polycystic though on the bright side ovulatory problems are apparently the easiest to "fix" and overcome so fingers crossed that you might be one of the people who benefit from Clomid or Metformin

sarlat you are always so lovely. Thank you for your kind words, they mean a lot.
It's good that you have a date for your transfer and the end is sight for you too. Your dream about being pregnant will be a reality in the near future, you know that don't you

buzzy you have made me laugh tonight with your flower pilfering and kitty biscuit snaffling.

madness Hurrah for coming near to the end of deregging and for your re-emergence from the tent. I hear you on babies becoming less upset inducing but I am really afraid of IVF not working and how this will play out emotionally. I was saying to MrP that I don't know whether to be happy and optimistic at the moment or preparing myself for failure. Am I a drama queen or are you having the same kind of internal dialogue?

princess Hello, it's nice to see you How are you? How's the house and new kitchen?

lemons sending you get well vibes.

doll I hope you are okay now.

gin I'm glad that you are having a good weekend. It must be quite reassuring to speak to someone who has been through IVF. I guess it sort of normalises the situation to a degree.
Sorry to hear about the bump unveil. That must have been a bit of a shock.

midnight I'm not an expert but my own personal opinion about stress is that it isn't too much of a problem and if it was it would probably manifest itself physically like haywire periods or annovulation. I hope that all is well with you.

Hello art and sending you good shawl bordering whatsits vibes... sounds complicated

euro Have you booked your scan yet? Did you decide whether to put it back a day or two?

Well I am trying to avoid the elephant in the room because quite frankly she is tedious and her claptrap is of no interest to me BUT I am genuinely appalled if anybody was offended and pretty appalled that personal attacks were made in the form of private messages. I would suggest that should she make an appearance again that we don't rise to it and just totally blank it.

Waves and love to anybody I've missed.

hello pout how is the stabbing going? You didn't mention, just keep going this to shall pass. I think an internal dialogue is part of the process to be honest.

midnight nice to see you, I second pout if stress was affecting a reproductive system it would be manifested in haywire cycles. i noticed that my Dr's research interest is the effects of conflict on reproductive outcome. I have done alot of conflict-related research myself (non-medical) and would be interested to talk to him about it but what with the fact I rarely have my pants on when we talk it hasn't happened. Oh, I'm familiar with your country by the way

What is with all the knitting around here? I'm never going to be a knitter that's for sure. Soz about the shawl border art hello to the other knitters buzzy madness......

sar I second nelly what a lovely post from you the other day. Thanks, I'm doing fine but as always in life everything happening at once and making things a bit tricky. I'm trying to pace myself at work and not work on weekends outside of emergencies. Of course here's Monday morning and Little Doll is sick so I'm at home. There is some thing going around it seems.

Speaking of snot, dear lemon* how are you feeling now? So sorry about your cycle this time. Timing timing timing.

gin glad you got some talks with Dave's friends. I know a couple of IVFers (they have twins) I know their story as they talk about it alot I've never been temped to share though. It's not like we are close.

sweet loving the overwhelmed boss. Classic, just want you need. mrsden yours still making the coffee?

joy I think of you often and hope all is well.

I'm missing people, critter, rabbit where's rabbit? euro counting the days till the scan? freedom what's up? sea ? it's been a while. Back in a bit....

It looks like I missed the excitement yesterday. I hope everyone is ok.

euro this is the week you get to see your baby . How excited are you?

doll are you getting an early scan too? I hope little doll is feeling better soon.

Does anyone know how frannie is? I was thinking that she must be quite far along now. I hope all is ok if you're reading this.

Hi mrsden thanks for the wishes, he is acting up feeling better all ready.
I do have a scan booked for next Monday at 6+5 and if the pregnancy continues it will be pretty heavily monitored. Not due to IVF just due to the habits of my location. My Dr will remain the same for as long as I stay here, as he is an all around pregnancy Dr rather than just AC. I won't be here long enough for later pregnancy though.

Morning lovelies!

Good to see the fred moving on happily and nervously about the important shit in equal measures.

You are doing so well doll. It would be interesting to talk to your doctor about the effect of conflict on reproduction, and a good way to make them talk to you on a more level playing field. I've whipped out research proposals and worked on them during the information evening about IUI to make myself feel the complete person I am rather than the failed reproductive system I also happen to have.

Impressed with all the knitting. I have finished all the squares for a little cushion I am crocheting, but I cannot be bothered to sew them together this might be a flu symptom, as I have done nothing except sleep and cough all weekend I might try today, as I am much better but the work inbox made my head spin, so I called in sick and am taking it easy.

Hell midnight welcome back. I loved the description, particularly the non-TTC bit. Living in your country and skiing sounds like a good combo. Of course dressed in nice home-knitted kit :)

How are things with you pout? Still stabbing? The dogs? Your new house? Are you still feeling so at home in it? And how's pout's creative venture going?

OMG arte 16 weeks! That is so far along. Congrats, and I totally get the point of not announcing. You won't be able to hide it much longer, though. Thanks for the story about your crazy clustering of birthday, due dates, sad anniversaries and ET. When that day comes, I'll make sure SB remembers and light a candle or read the poems I wrote.

Waves and feathers at all of you I failed to mention, nothing personal my head is still half filled with snot. Something is definitely going round where I am doll, but it would surprise me if little doll caught the same germs :) Will be popping in and out today. I am even doing some laundry [proud emoticon]

X-post with mrsd and doll. The latter first - you won't be there for the latter stage!?! So you've made some momentous decisions then? How exciting. Btw I second someone's conclusion that you will make a stunning family wherever you go.

How are you mrsd? I hope all is well. You didn't miss anything much.

I'm good thank lemon. Out of the tent and wishing away the days until my holiday. Boo to germs, I hope you're over it soon. Will you do iui again next cycle?

Doll, the set up with your dr sounds the same as here. Ante natal care is provided by doctors, and my fertility clinic also does ante natal so it would be the same dr until 36 weeks if I did get pregnant. The continuity will be nice I think. I know lots of people like minimal care, but tbh I will take every scan and check I'm offered. I agree your family will be beautiful, I think the new bean will have to be littlest doll.

I've had to make my own coffee this morning. The new Regime was short lived. I think I prefer it back to normal.

at the extremely short-lived change in your manager, mrsd. Better to know where you stand, right?

Next cycle (and probably the cycle after) will be consumed by our holidays. So first possible cycle is end of April. The big question is whether I want to stick with IUI or just go and get the big guns out, and join the rest of the fred in IVF. I find it difficult. It is all taking forever...

lemon what are your pros and cons for the IVF/IUI? Thanks for your comments and MrsDen. Actually I don't know what's happening only that we are out of here this year, no decision on where to though. Bloody nightmare but what can you do? It will play out this month for sure though.

Well the pros of IUI are: it has worked before for me, it is less invasive (in fact on gonal-f I find it really easy) so I can get away with doing it without (much) inpact on work, it also saves my funded IVF attempt for a later date "as insurance"; the pros of IVF are that it is more likely to work (25-30% instead of 10%), once we've done a number of IVF cycles (planning for 3) we should know where we stand, either diffed or time to seek closure and explore other routes to parenthood (this is an advantage and a disadvantage depending on my mood). The cons of IUI are: it has only worked 1 out of 6, or if I am being generous 1:3 (SO + IUI) which is pretty crap. It just takes TIME. The cons of IVF are that it is a lot more invasive, I am scared of the effect of down-regging on me, and the clinic really wants to do LP for the first round (because I have quick follicle development normally).

I also worry about planning issues with work, holidays and AC, we've decided to live our life more this year, but combining holibobs with AC, space in the clinic and this stupid flu will mean we'll have done only 2 IUI cycles by May this year (and three or four natural ones).

And my head still hurts, but I've just done the first load of laundry!

Mmmm it's a tricky one lemon. I'm very much an all in type and I'm not sure I would have the patience for the IUI's. I've never understood why the success rates are so low. The thing is though your situation is very different and you have seen a success. I know what you mean about closure seeming good or bad, mood dependent. I didn't find downregging a big deal but the problem is you don't know till you try.

Thanks doll. I never thought I would be as patient with the IUIs, but the pregnancy did change my perspective on them quite dramatically. On the other hand it has been nearly 3 years, give me that baby

Anyhow, I am so glad this IVF did get you diffed. It was about time (and really heartening for all of us!)

Hi pout. The scan is booked by the clinic for 6+1 as standard, so I am going with that. mrsd I'm kind of excited but also scared there won't be anything to see. The worrying really never stops.

doll I am no knitter. In fact, I think the only time I cried in secondary school (over a lesson rather than because I was ill or something) was when my cowbag textiles teacher made me cry because I couldn't do it. It was enough to put me off for life! I'm impressed by all the creativity here.

I like the fact that the people living in forrin parts get continuity of care. Here it sounds like you are lucky to see the same midwife twice! If we get past 12 weeks, I am seriously considering engaging a private midwife. The only difficulty is that they can only actually do the birth at home. If you go into a midwife led unit or hospital, they can't do anything medical for you or the baby, only act as doula/advocate. I still think it might be nice to have someone I trust in that role.

Drizz I think a lot of people find the downregging ok. When I was suffering last summer, I spoke to both of my RL close friends about it and they couldn't really remember the downregging. Both had clear memories of being uncomfortable on the stimms though, so that is what had stuck in their minds. The DR was really nothing remarkable to them. I remember feeling like such a woss, but we all react differently.

I hope everyong downregging or gettng ready for IVF/IUI is doing ok.