Fantastic Forty Plus, part 9, this time is our time,bring on the bfp's!

[hopefulgum]

We've filled out thread - I do hope you all find your way here. I can't add a message on the old thread to let you know it is here...

This new thread, will no doubt have its own set of bfp's and babies. I am excited to see what it brings.

Diege thank you...I thought the same...

Gum thank you...I guess I will find out tomorrow!!!

Wow ladies, I turn my back for five minutes and half of you are upduffed! Congratulations to all you pregnant ladies. I'm so pleased for you, and wish I was there too. Welcome to the new ladies too. Sorry not to namecheck but on my tablet, with DP snoring next to me and trying really hard not to wake him as he gets up at stupid o'clock.

8dpo today, no symptoms whatsoever. It sucks, and I can't help feeling with each passing month my chances are disappearing. I'm 46 this September, its not looking good, is it? Not even a sniff of a bfp.

So sorry things didn't work out this time isabeller hopefully next time will be more successful. Good luck with the lump, please do let us know how things go. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts.

Hope everyone else is keeping their chins up! Xx

Personally I'm keeping my chin down, cos I've got zits...at my age! FFS!

hello everyone!
It's going to take me a while to catch up properly.

We got back from Belgium on Thurs, DD1 started with vomitting in the early hours of Fri morning and was really ill,we had to cancel going to see Justin Bieber that night which was a huge disappointment, she'd got the tickets last July! Then I started with the same symptoms and it really floored me, I had a full day where I couldn't even come downstairs. DD2 didn't get her hair brushed (it's long and curly and a bit of a challenge), Dad forgot to take her to dance class, no vegetables were eaten all day and when the kids were given the option of DH cooking tea or eating out they all went out for fish and chips. However I recovered enough to take control again yesterday and we're getting back to normal!

There's been such a lot going on here in the last week,first of all big congratulations to Diege and Calender !
Sparkly your results sound good, hope things are improving with DH.
notsoold hope your scan can put your mind at rest. I had lots of cramps, with my successful pregnancies that felt quite painful and worrying but it was just things stretching, hopefully everything will be fine for you.
CaliBee I don't know if you've booked your holiday yet but there was an ad in the Mail on Sunday for spring breaks in Mercure Hotels,there is one listed in London, website is mailtravel.co.uk ,holiday code is j005. In a strange way you must be glad AF arrived,at least your body is getting back to normal.
I got a BFN on my birthday,if I was at home I wouldn't have tested as I can tell by my temps I'm not pregnant but because I was away I couldn't connect my monitor to the computer so I had a glimmer of hope. AF then arrived shortly later.
I have been feeling quite down,this time last year I was pregnant, my due date from my second miscarriage was a few weeks ago,my due date from my third miscarriage is coming up next month.Turning 45 has made me feel less optimistic about my chances of conceiving again but the feeling that there's a baby shaped gap in my life isn't diminishing at all,the yearning is still so strong. However I'm not ready to give up just yet and it's good to get back to the support on this thread and lots of positive stories.
Gum you're right, it would be fun to meet up sometime, if I ever go to visit my friend in Secret Harbour I'll let you know ,alternatively Ireland would be a possibility!
I've only quickly skimmed through the last few pages so I apologise to not name checking more people, welcome to all the newcomers

Hi DrWho ,posts crossed!
I know what you mean about September, I know realistically our bodies don't suddenly change on a certain date but it feels like a milestone. I think I need to stop reading statistics ,it can and does happen for some people so why not us!
Anyway maybe the zits mean you have the hormones of a teenager!
Isabeller , I should have said before, I hope your lump will turn out to be innocuous, when is your next appointment?

Aaargh, I just wrote the longest post and disappeared when I tried to preview it. You should all be relieved because try as I might, I'll never get this one to be as long...

diege great news about your DH's reaction.

and calibee great news about AF. I know for me it kind of drew a line under my mc when AF came - I felt my body was letting me get on with things.

notsoold hope your scan sets your mind at rest today.

Isabeller any news about the lump? How worrying for you. It'll probably be ok it's upsetting.

Irish sorry you're going through a bad patch, emotionally and physically. I agree - this thread is a huge comfort when I'm down.

Drwho lovely to see you. Never say never! As Irish says, why not you?

Still no AF here. I'd have to check but it's well over 40 days now. Anyway, I'm feeling all upbeat and positive as I'm seeing a new gynae tomorrow. The old one was lovely but incredibly difficult to get hold of (drs in Belgium tend to work alone, without even a receptionist, so you call the dr to get an appointment - which is ok as long as they answer the phone. She'd given me her home number as a favour, and during my pg that worked - but now she's not answering that either!) I was really torn because I felt I needed her as she was so kind to me during my mc, I was scared to see anyone else...but yesterday I decided that what I need right now is a gynae, any gynae, to set the ball rolling again. So I called one of the local hospitals (because hospitals have receptionists who answer the phone and because this hospital is where I'd like to give birth if that ever happens because of their progressive maternity unit) and got an appointment for tomorrow.

Had a long, unplanned and very constructive chat with DP on Friday night. We talked about ttc again and I said that whilst his being 'not against' a baby is a good start, it's not enough. Like a lot of men, I suppose, he's not great at talking about his feelings but he really made an effort and we talked about all sorts of things. I appreciate (even if I wish it were different) that he doesn't have the need to have a child in the way that I do, because he's already got 3 (I want him to want one with me but he says the over-riding factor is that he doesn't desperately want another one, full stop, but he's happy enough to have one with me). Anyway, we came to an understanding about lots of things, and I think it's no coincidence that the next working day I came out of the limbo I've been in for quite some time and made my gynae appointment.

Oh, and we also decided that we'd get married this summer

Morien congratulations on deciding a date for your wedding!It doesn't give you a lot of time to arrange if it's this summer,you're going to be busy over the next few months. Will you have a big wedding?
It's good you've booked an appointment too and that you've had a talk with your DP.
It does seem to be different for men, they don't seem to have the same longing for a baby. While my DH was happy to try again after I miscarried I know he doesn't want it as much as me. He loves our children, he'd love another one, but if it doesn't happen now I think he'll accept it more easily than I will. I think he assumes it's very unlikely to happen now but we don't really discuss it. He never wants to know about opks,ovulation,timing dtd etc anyway and because he has so much on his mind with his dad dying and now the responsibility of looking after MIL I'd feel bad about stressing him further with my feelings about not conceiving again. Lucky I can come and rant on here!
Belgium is a lovely country by the way, though we only visited the area around Ypres. We were lucky with the weather,it was very cold but bright and sunny. We found the people very friendly and welcoming and were relieved they could speak English well, we hoped to get by on a smattering of French and knew no Flemish at all! We visited the grave of MIL's grandfather and discovered quite a lot about his movements and battles in the weeks leading up to his death in WW1,it was very moving standing in the fields where he fought. We discovered he'd taken part in the Christmas Day celebrations when they laid down arms and talked with the enemy, just weeks before he was killed. It really brought history to life for the children too. We also ate lots of Belgian chocolate and had some lovely waffles, smothered in chocolate sauce served with vanilla icecream, mmmm.
I think I need to go and get some work done now!

Blimey ? it has been so busy on this thread! I too have been busy but
mainly trying not to a) symptom spot or b) think about TTC too much?.not
being really successful in doing either to be honest

Today is 8DPO for me and I have no symptoms of anything but not letting
this get in the way of day dreaming. I am still getting my highs on my
CBFM so will be using up the full 20 sticks I guess. I have had a stuffy
nose for about a week (which probably accounts for my unusually high
temperatures post ovulation) but luckily don?t feel ill just a bit bunged
up (unlike you poor Irishmammy ? glad you are on the mend. Your trip
sounds very poignant and sometimes a bit of perspective is what we need)

Hopeful I was very impressed with your champagne quaffing party - sounds
like your iron will crumbled with indecent haste which indeed it
should after 24 days of living like a saint?that you stopped at four
glasses was a miracle. Sorry you had to pay for it the next day though
How are you managing your 2WW?

Congratulations Morien!. Like the way you just slipped it in casually at
the end like it was an aside! I am glad you have had ?the chat? and are
going to see a gynae. I agree men see it differently?I think because it is
all a bit conceptual for them and lets me honest they don?t always know
what is good for them! I know you are supposed to say that you just want
your DP to be happy but as I was telling my OH actually what I really want
his for him to be happy with my choices . He has threatened to get
it printed on a t-shirt. Luckily, he seems to be happy for me to be happy
so it?s all working out so far. I am sure now that you know your DP is
happy for you to TTC that has subconsciously lifted a weight for you. Have
you always had long cycles or is this a new thing?

Notsoold hope all went well at the scan and you can feel a bit more
relaxed?

Diege glad your DH is happy with your news ? very exciting times ahead!

Isabeller good luck in find out what the mystery lump is (nothing to worry
about I am sure ? but expect you probably will anyway until told
otherwise!) Do you have an appointment to get it sorted yet?

Calibee have you tried looking at Amazon local deals or groupon for your
break? They sometimes have some really good deals on although it can be a
bit hit and miss.

How are you doing jbrd and sparkly?

Morien OMG!!!! Congratulations!!! I love weddings!!!

Hi everybody and tanks for the support.
just back from my scan and mixed feelings really. The good news is that the yolk sac is at the right place (and not ectopic although I am still in pain). So i was told to take paracetamol re pain.
But no fetal pole was found and they said that maybe pregancy is around 5 weeks??? Even allowig for the egg to take a ride into tow and back still is way out of my calculations (therefore not developing??)
I will have to return on the 7th March for another scan. The MW was lovely but pretty much said to me to prepare myself for the worst :(
I had a look o Dr Google (the worst thing I know) and information is conflicting...but after seen the MW face :(

Sorry about the me,me,me post!!!

Oh notsoold ,have a big hug, so sorry you've had worrying results. My midwife told me though that in the early stages when everything is so tiny it can be hard to get accurate results and even sometimes different sonographers get different readings, which I suppose is why they keep rechecking after a bit more time has elapsed. I hope and pray that the scan next week shows a little heart beat. Have you told your DH yet? x

Yes irish...he is really upset. I just feel a failure as I know how mich he also wants a baba....and he is always conscious of his age and I know that will be a deterrent soon ( if not my bloody body doing as it should: ()
Sorry really, really disheartened this time around and by Jove I don't if I can go through another mc....

Hi to all
notsoold thats a bit poo that the news wasnt exactly what you wanted to hear. I remember so well the awful thoughts in my head when I received similar news. I remember going from positive to negative vibes and back again within minutes. I really really hope this turns out well for you xxx

morien so you're joining me in the brides corner eh?? Congratulations .....I still havent had the "big" proposal or the ring..but he talks as if its in his plans.I humour him...afterall I'm only interested in getting married if its something he wants. Having been there twice before I view it through slightly mucky specs nowadays.

I wonder if I need to let the fertility clinic know that I'm starting the clomid again?? I dont think they do any monitoring on subsequent rounds if it was a good result the first time. Does anybody find it a pain in the bum trying to fit in all these phone calls (this week I have had to call the council tax office, the mechanic to fit my car in for service and now maybe the clinic) whilst working full time. Most places open after I have started work and close before I get home which means I am constantly stood outside at lunchtime phoning premium rate numbers off my mobile.

Forgot to say....London trip is booked. Thankyou to all who suggested sites for cheap deals. We managed to get a fairly cheap Premier Inn room right by the Shard, for 4 nights and we leave a week on Sunday. I cant wait. Just scouting round for any cheap deals now on entrance to the attractions

notsoold having everything crossed for you that you will have better news at the next scan! 5 weeks is very early for them to see anything, so there is still hope. Really sorry you're in this awful limbo now.

isabeller when will you find out about the lump? It might be to do with all the hormone treatment you've had, maybe? Wishing you all the best!

Hello everyone else! Sorry for not posting more, just a quick hello- we're at Center Parks, and they have no wifi in the cabins, so I'm on my phone. It's nice and relaxing here, DS is loving it, and therefore do we Got myself some spa treatments booked in the next few days, which I intend to fully enjoy (in spite of feeling slightly guilty for leaving DH to look after DS. Fortunately, he doesn't have a problem with that )

Hi All

Back again, still TTC, 6 months now, AF arrived today.

Feeling all very impatient and getting a little disheartened. Given up fags too, so rather tetchy as well.

But good to see some people have had positive results since I joined

Yes, so much action on our thread! I probably won't be able to namecheck,as there is so much going on.

But I must firstly say to notsoold,sorry about the worrying scan, but it is early days,and so much can change from day to day. ((hugs))

And a big congratulations to morien on the wedding plans. That is very exciting!

Greenlizard, I am 9dpo and trying not to symptom spot. There are a few things happening, but I won't even write them down because I seem to always have symptoms that come to nothing. Will you wait til AF is late to test? I have acupuncture tomorrow afternoon, so I will probably test in the morning. I know it is very early at 10 dpo, but it can make a difference with the acupuncture. Though I know, even with a negative test, she'll be careful if I am in the tww. And I am not going to admit that I did a test at 9dpo and if I squint,hold it under lamp-light at a distinct angle, that there might be a shadow of a line it is negative.

Morien congratulations!!!!

Notsoold sorry to hear the results were mixed but firstly, good news it isn't an ectopic pregnancy -I know you were very scared about that. I know nothing of how these work but there are always variables in life so keep everything crossed and I hope it works out for you. I wouldn't suggest you try and relax (!!) but please take care of yourself.

Hopeful I know you would not be testing at 9DPO or squinting at angles to imagine see a line! Ludicrous suggestion! Hope you enjoy your acupuncture session. I couldn't have a session this cycle as she went on holiday right over the first two weeks of my cycle (how very inconsiderate of her?!!) She wants to see me on day 4 of my AF and just before ovulation so will give it a go next cycle (if I need it!) I am due to go for a big night out with girlfriends on Friday which would normally involve a few glasses of wine so I am using this as an excuse to test on Friday morning - just in case (I will be 11DPO then so not too ridiculous?) I have to say I am symptom free so I am not overly optimistic

calibee Your London trip sounds fabulous (despite living here I just don't ever do the attraction/sightseeing things - you will probably know more about it that I do!) Though you should go to the Tate Modern on the Southbank if you get the chance (free entry). Try Time out (www.timeout.com/london) or have a look at this for ideas (not sure what you like to do (www.londonpass.com/london-attractions/index.html?aid=26&gclid=CLmg2f_71bUCFcrHtAodfU0APQ). London is a great city for just wondering about in though. Glad you got a good deal on your hotel.

Thanks lizard some really useful stuff there. I already have my eye on The Londonpass but need to wait for Dp to be home to buy anything as he is paying....it may then be too late to get them sent so we will have to get them once we get there. I cant really see him liking any of the art galleries, and I have been. He has relatives in Ealing so he will probably take an afternoon and go and visit them, and as I wasnt mentioned in that visit I may well take myself to have a look at the Tate. The hotel is very near I think.

So pleased my car whizzed through its mot yesterday so serviced and done for another year and another £160 lighter. Raaaaa. Cant wait for some warmer days to get the old roof down and go for a long drive.

This af is better than expected...I thought it would be heavier than normal but so far so good.

Notsoold, I'm sorry you didn't get more positive news on your scan, I very much hope everything is ok.

Morien, congratulations on the wedding. We, or rather I, started planning our wedding in the April and we got married four months later, so it is possible to do it quickly. We just didn't want to string it out, and I wouldn't have coped with interference pressure from our mums, especially MIL. We got married on a Friday, so that meant availability was better, but it was a reasonable sized (and priced) do. It's great you'd had a big chat with your DP, I hope all's well when you see the gynaecologist.

Diege, I'm so pleased you DH took the news of your pregnancy well, hopefully you can relax and enjoy it now.

Isabeller, when do you get the lump checked out? I know it must be really worrying, hopefully it'll be something minor.

Irish, your Belgian trip sounds really good. I hope you're feeling ok, you're right, it is very different for men when it comes to having children, unfortunately.

Drwho, nice to see you.

Gum & green, good luck on your 2ww. Gum, your party at the weekend sounds great, even if you did suffer for it the next day!

Calibee, I hope you enjoy your London trip. I tend to be a bit jaded about it cos I work there. If you are going by train, you can get some 2-for-1 deals on some attractions. www.daysoutguide.co.uk/2for1-london, but you do need the train ticket. And I'm sure you know this, don't pay for individual tube fares as they're ridiculously expensive, get travelcards instead. I know exactly what you mean about making phone calls at work, ours is so open plan, there's nowhere to go to make any kind of private call. Also the mobile reception is useless in most parts of the building unless you're on the "preferred supplier's" network, not good at all if you don't qualify for a work phone - and most of us don't.

JBrd, sounds like you're enjoying Center Parcs!

Hi to soopermum. Calendargal, how are you doing?

I've had a rotten cold over the past few days, having not really shaken the previous one, such that I had to take Monday off to lie about on the settee. It did me good though. No improvement with DH, he's barely speaking to me again. He came in to say good bye this morning, and just said see you later - no kiss, no I love you, which immediately set me off crying again. We've always said "I love you" to each other every day, and now he hasn't said it for days so I'm left wondering whether he still does. I dragged my friend at work off for a chat at lunchtime yesterday, and while she's very excited for me about the pregnancy, she is very cross with my DH for reacting like this again. But she very sweetly offered to come to any appointments with me if I need her too.

Hi to anyone I've missed, enjoy the rest of Wednesday.

notsoold you must be very anxious. Hoping you can try and distract yourself until the next scan but I know how difficult that can be. How are you feeling today?
morien many congrats on the wedding - I like the understated way you told us
Gum ooh you are very naughty. fwiw, all my faintest of lines seen only when tipped towards the light (but not too bright) have turned into darker ones a few days later. I know you will have tested again so let us know the result . Was this the month the psychic said you would get pregnant?.
Very tired today, sickness getting worse and cyclizine not as helpful as it's been in the past. Hope to get some rest tomorrow though as working from home so this might improve things. I realise how fortunate I am to be even able to be in a position to moan about sickness - it still hasn't really sunk in yet.
Sorry not to do personals but am turning in for the night x

sparkly,meant to say how awful it must me for you with dh being so utterly hurtful and selfish. At least you have some supportive rl friends - and us of course!!!
remnant are you ok> Have been thinking about you and how things might be going x
isabeller how are they handling the abdominal lump situation? My mum had what that described as a fatty 'mass' in her stomach when she was younger and it turned out to be a very harmless cyst - had a special name too but totally fine.

sparkly every time I see a post from you I hope you'll say that your DH has had a blow to the head that has restored his sanity and that it's all ok. I'm sorry it's not.

irish glad you liked Belgium!

How are you notsoold? Sorry it wasn't better news - hoping the next scan will put your mind at rest.

Went to the gynae's - very nice man. He prescribed some blood tests, so I'll go and get that done in the morning and should have the results next week. The tests are: HCG, LH, FSH, prolactin, oestradiol, progesterone, testosterone, DHEA sulphate, thyroid. I'm to call next week for the results, and regardless of that to go back if I haven't had my period by the end of next week. He laughed (in the nicest possible way) at my frustation at no BFP since my MC - he said that whilst there are women who are lucky and bounce back, in most cases the body takes time to recover and that actually it's not that long since August. I said, 'but time's running out, I'm 40 already!', and he said, 'so you're 40 - what's the problem with that?'

WRT planning our wedding, I don't think there'll be a problem. The ceremony will be at our 'maison communale' (town hall), there's no choice for a civil ceremony here (but at least ours is a very pretty one!) And we won't be needing a booking for the big family meal in our lovely garden, with maybe a few friends round in the evening for a BBQ too. We haven't contacted the maison communale yet but we'll just go by when they have a slot and when my mum & stepdad and my sister and her DH and DD can get over here. (It's my second time around and until now I was never sure I'd do it again. DP until now has never wanted to get married to anyone - he didn't marry his DCs' mum, although she wanted to. We want to mark it, but in a low-key, relaxed way.

Off for a nice relaxing bath...

My goodness, this thread is filling up!

Isabeller, I'm really sorry to hear about your lump. I would imagine that anything serious would have been picked up by the IVF-related scans, examinations etc that you've had but it must be an awful worry. Have you been for a test?

notsoold, I don't really understand all the ins and outs of fetal poles etc - never had an early scan - but I do know that a few days make all the difference at this stage (and also that even dating scans don't date precisely). Is it possible that your calculations are a couple of days out? Keeping all crossed for you.

Congratulations Morien - I planned my wedding with a similar timescale. Your plans sound lovely. I have a very romantic idea of Belgium (probably nothing like it in the flesh!)

sparkly, sorry your DH has still not stepped up to the plate. I'm glad you have a friend who can support you though.

gum, a shadow of a line sounds promising. Will you test again tomorrow?

Welcome back Irish

CaliBee, what do you and DP like to do? Let us give you some ideas for your trip.

Hi to remnant if you're out there, and anyone else I've missed.

I'm OK - I've swelled up and actually look pregnant (by about four months!), although that ought to be impossible. It must be gas. I'm both getting a "this is really real" feeling, and getting a little bit excited, and trying not to get too excited as I have had two losses pre-DD, including one at 6wks (I will be 6 wks on Saturday). I have been very tired too.

Hi all,

Thanks for thinking about me calibee, diege and anyone else.
i've been busily distracting myself (booking a holiday - our first to the med - before easter, when hopefully(!) all this will be behind me). Went to work last week but this week I'm finding I get really tearful whenever out of the house. Still no bleeding or any sign of a natural resolution . Local hospital even called me to see what was happening. I decided to book in for an eprc on monday, but discovered that it would mean waiting around all day on ward and no guarantees to get seen early enough to get home that night, so now I'm trying to find somewhere that will do it privately, since insurance policy, it turns out, covers it at some hospitals. It's turning out to be quite complicated but at hoping it will mean less waiting eventually. I'm generally feeling quite gutted and trying to accept that this is it.

I do want to say congrats to diege and calendergal
Fingers crossed for you notsoold x

Calibee, glad you've got your holiday booked. Premier in is our favourite uk hotel these days. London Bridge is a great location too. Can I recommend the river boat run by TFL - good value (not much more than a tube journey) and very lovely way to move about London, with great views. You can do a round trip (interesting to go out east to see end of london if you're into that sort of thing) you can also get off at London eye and get the cable car over the river for a bit of novelty (not that there's much on the north side to see, but you can go straight back over again and get the boat back west). Cable car is about a third of the price of london eye and we've never had to share a cabin (unlike crowded eye). Also Borough Market, on your doorstep, is worth seeing, but so expensive (think harrods). I'd say let's meet up if your dp is off meeting family but i don't think I'd make very good company under the circumstances x