Fantastic Forty Plus, part 9, this time is our time,bring on the bfp's!

[hopefulgum]

We've filled out thread - I do hope you all find your way here. I can't add a message on the old thread to let you know it is here...

This new thread, will no doubt have its own set of bfp's and babies. I am excited to see what it brings.

Ladies this is such a busy thread but may i join you?

I have a PFB DS age 3. We have been trying for #2 for over two years now. I got PG straight away but MC'd at 10 weeks, then got PG again last year but had to be induced at 21 weeks as our baby died in utero of Placenta Vasa

Anyway, I just turned 40 three weeks ago (so i now qualify for this thread! ). I was a regular on the 'MC Mosh Pit' thread, but stopped posting as i dont want it to be all about the MC's although-it sometimes feels like it

I have a friend who had her second at 44 and she is inspirational, she is one of the most laid back mums i know

I just got yet another AF on Saturday and feeling v fed up about it. However tonight i met a woman who tried for 7 years between DC's and now has a beautiful 2yo DD and 9yo DS. It has given me a new feeling of hope.

What is more evident is that me and DH are putting ours (and DS's) lives on hold and we have to stop doing that. DS is at such a good age and we really enjoy his company. If he is to be an only child then so be it.

BUT we do want another So can i join you for and Confucius

Welcome martha you are very welcome here . I am so sorry for your losses - what a lot you've been through . You will find lots of friendship and the best advice on this thread - between us we could open a fertility clinic .
remnant you poor thing . I had mmc at 10 weeks (baby had died at 8) and went for the surgical option.Period started 4 wks later but I think that's not typical. With natural mc management af took about 7 weeks to arrive. Do you have to go back to the clinic next week, or are you just seeing what might happen for now? Such a horrible time,and hoping your dh is giving you support x
calendar I swear 50 tests were cheaper than 5 Seriously, happy to post out for free so just ask if you'd like a few anyone!
calibee that's a bummer about dp Does he know for sure about the visa? I too am very broke - seems like another January soon. Looking forward to marking money though.I swear that cutting back on the little things (mags, coffees) has made absolutely no difference to what's left in my bank account a week to payday!
Welcome southwest - I'm assuming that's where you hail from?

thanks guys

Diege not really though I would certainly love to live there
I am in SW London usually (though not right now)

funny I never really thought that having a baby at 42 was that unusual, reflects living in my part of London I think.

I kind of flip and flop a bit I desperately want another child but at the same time dont really think it is going to happen for me.

ds was extremely ill (freak random illness not age related) and spent ages in hospital at a time when I had so much other crap going on I have a few psychological issues going on!

one of my new years resolutions was to get some counselling

Oh, so nice to see lots of action happening while I sleep, and two new ladies! welcome

Deige, my love, it is definitely possible that you could conceive with sex three days before! Do you remember those stats that Irish or Isabeller posted further up the thread? I think it is more likely you'll conceive three days out than on the day of ovulation. Would you believe, after all this time reading everything I can lay my hands on about ttc for the last five or six years, I have only just realised (from teaching sex ed) how important it is that the sperm are waiting in place for the egg to pop out .

I do understand why you would buy 50 tests, it is more economical. How would you feel if a test is positive?

Calibee, sorry to hear about your DP's visa. I do understand that feeling of never being able to save anything. Would a cosy break somewhere like Scotland or the Lake's district be nice? I know you are craving sunshine, but a break away would still be a nice change?

Remnant, my first miscarriage was a missed one, I found out at ten weeks, because I had started spotting, that the baby had probably died shortly after my ultrasound at 7-8 weeks (which was all good, healthy heartbeat). I was so upset that I felt I couldn't move on if I didn't have the ERPC straight away. Then when I had the same thing happen at nine weeks, the next time (again,after a "reassuring" ultrasound) I opted for the ERPC. In retrospect, I think the second one meant it was a really long time til I had AF again. I actually think I might have had some scarring.

I realise now that because I had spotting, it was likely my miscarriages may have occurred naturally, but I didn't feel I could cope emotionally with the pain,blood and passing the baby. I do sometimes think I should have let it happen naturally, but was afraid it would put off ttc again for a long time. As it was, I wasn't ovulating for ages afterwards anyway.

I am so glad to hear that your DH is giving you support. I know you feel there may not be a chance for you after this has happened, but give yourself some time to re-group and you may feel like giving it another go. Take care of yourself, I think women are very vulnerable after having a miscarriage, both emotionally and physically.

calendargirl, will you test again??We could use another BFP on this thread.

Well, I am amazed to have gotten a "peak" on the CBFM this morning, after days of lows. So it just shows how easily I could miss the window of opportunity. I also have EWCM, and it is about the third month I have, which is amazing, because for so long I had none. Perhaps this is the surge of fertility some women get before full-on menopause?? Perhaps because I've been taking Red clover? Anyway, I will take full advantage of my DH tonight and I reckon I'll be in the tww tomorrow or the next day. I can feel rumblings in my ovaries and I am a bit worried I'll ovulate today and tonight might be too late. Oh well, at least we had SWI yesterday.

Jbrd, how are you? Did you end up with proper AF?

It is my day off here. I love Mondays My DS goes to Kinder in the afternoon, so I get a couple of hours to myself. I will probably go to the thrift shop to look for stuff to sell on ebay. I am trying to make enough from selling clothes (any popular labels I find) on ebay to save up enough for next year's family holiday. Trouble is everything that goes into my paypal account ends up going out again! I console myself that at least I am not spending our household budget

Have a nice day/night everyone

Morning all

remnant I remember feeling exactly as you did just a few short weeks ago. I wanted to get it over with as soon as possible and asked for surgical management, at the same time wanting to preserve my immediate fertility and hoping it would happen naturally, I was warned of the possibilty of scarring. I had the decision taken away when a scan at the hospital to confirm the findings on a private scan revealed the fetus (not seen previously and too small for dates). I spotted for about 4 days, before the bleeding stepped up and I developed mild/moderate cramps, which were dealable with paracetemol. On the 8th day after the spotting started the sac and fetus came away. Yes it was painful but I took some tips from a thread on dealing with the practicalities of miscarriage (on here)which were a godsend. Hotwater bottle, paramol, hot bath etc and it was all over within a few hours. The bleeding then was just like a normal period for around 5-6 days and light spotting for a week or so after that. I may have ovulated on cd21 (counting the mc as cd1) but only appearance of AF will confirm that.

hopeful I hope you had a lovely day off with some quality time to yourself. Its half term here this week and DS had one of his friends over for the night. They were watching Lord of the Rings at silly-o-clock this morning. Thats his playtime...my strict head will now take over as he needs to revise for his forthcoming GCSE's. Have to say I'm impressed by teachers efforts nowadays. Many are opening up school for revision days and providing pizza as an incentive.
To be honest I would begrudge spending a fortune on a UK break...they do seem to cost a fortune especially in the cold. Hopefully DP will pull his finger out today and ask his Sergeant for advice. He is away on shooting ranges from 8am til 8pm everyday this week so unable to call the visa office and I dont think they would speak to me as the non-passport holder.

Morning all, and welcome to the newbies! southwest and MarthasHarbour, hope you'll like it here!

Diege have you tested yet?!? I also tend to buy the tests in bulk, I reckon they will get used one way or the other, if not by me, then there is always someone else.
And please don't feel awkward about posting about symptom spotting and testing, no one will take offence! This is a conception thread, after all, it's what we all expect to read on here.

CaliBee I agree that the UK can be quite expensive for holidays, but you get some good deals, if you look for them! Shame about your DH's visa, they can be such a pain to sort out (I speak from experience!).

remnant How are you feeling? I decided to have the surgery after almost 4 weeks of waiting for anything to happen naturally. I just wanted to be able to draw a line, and it was the right decision for me. All went well, not problems, and the physical recovery was straightforward, which helped my emotional recovery as well.

And I now have my first af again, 5 weeks after the ERPC - the spotting developed into the real thing (thanks for asking, gum). I know it's not customary on this thread, but I am glad she's here (probably for the first time in my life ). I'm really hoping it's onwards and upwards from now on, and I feel quite optimistic about getting pg again! The CBFM is fired up, I've stocked up on OPKs and have warned DH of the things to come .

Well, that is if I ever get well again... Currently off -again- with this darned cold/sinusitis/whatever. Last night, I felt as if everything was taking a turn for the worse, and this morning I woke up and it was just awful. Really awkward, as I had quite a busy day with meetings and appointments at work, but I just wouldn't have been able to cope. I am so sick of being ill! Now all I want is to recover in time for our holiday next week

Hello everyone, and welcome to the newbies!

jbrd sorry you're still ill!

remnant poor you. My MC was a missed one, at almost 12 weeks (the scan showed the baby died at almost 10). I started spotting brown blood and went to see my gyne the next day; she felt that as I was by then spotting red blood it was likely that it would happen naturally so she suggested waiting a few days to see if it did...and actually it did, that same evening. The pain was utterly horrendous but at least it left me in no doubt, and it was over by morning...apart from the bleeding (but nothing like what I'd had that night all night) which went on for weeks. I fact I think I only had about 4 days without bleeding before AF appeared on CD28 (with the 1st day of MC as CD1).

CD40 here and still no sign of AF. No idea what's going on. I had a teeny bit of spotting on CD34 which I thought was AF coming, especially as I had cramp. As AF still hadn't come I thought the spotting might have been implantation so tested today again - another BFN. I'm assuming AF will come at some point but I so want to get on with things!

Thank you for the warm welcome ladies just trying to skim read and catch up as am at work, so apologies for the rushed post.

remnant i am so sorry for your loss. my first MC happened spontaneously (started at work ) then i ended up in A&E the next morning. Personally i would have 'preferred' medical management but nature decided otherwise. My bleeding lasted 2 weeks and i got my first AF about 4 weeks later.

Second time round, because of my prev MC I managed to get some early 'reassurance scans' at 6 and 8 weeks. Then the 12 week scan went really well (he waved at us ) so we were overjoyed. I think next time round i will just wait for the 12 week scan, my consultant has said i can have a 16 week scan to check for the anomalies that were discovered at 21 weeks - so yes we would have that but i am now a bit 'meh' about any scans under 12 weeks

Southwest i liked what you said here > I never really thought that having a baby at 42 was that unusual that made me so sorry your DS was poorly, how is he now? I can highly recommend counselling - it got me through a really tough time a couple of years back.

hopeful I love your little epiphany/revalation about expectant sperm!

JBrd so sorry about your ERPC, but yay for AF heralding the dawn of a new era (or something). I dont know about you but i got a feeling of 'right thats it back to the drawing board' kind of positivity when i got my first AF.

that was really rushed - sorry!

Awww poor you jbrd, you really have picked up everything going. Hopefully your holiday will give you a boost. Glad to hear af arrived...seems weird to say that on here but I do know exactlywhat you mean. I will be waiting with baited breath about this time next week to see if mine arrives.
Hello to martha...I will take a chocolate brownie thank you very much ...nom nom. Sorry to hear about your losses...it sounds like you hav had a really tough time x

remnant, glad to hear from you. I hope you are OK. I did have the thought that your DH might feel bad and now come round to the idea of ttc again. I understand that that will take some thought on your part (given how he behaved, as well as the mmc).

I haven't had a mmc but had two mcs (both resolved naturally). I just checked my charts on FF and after the second mc my AF came back on the 40th day after first full day of mc bleeding (not including spotting). So around 5-6 weeks. I think it was similar the first time.

Welcome Martha and sorry you have had such a ghastly time. I can't imagine going through that.

JBrd, I sympathise - I have just started what feels like a nasty cold and DH is away for work for three nights starting tomorrow.

gum,no tests in the house! Amateur, huh? I have just ordered some off eBay. Not 50 though I do think I am pregnant, btw.

Diege, have you tested?

Tests due to arrive tomorrow - I could have sent you some . Will update after postie arrives. Have the familiar pregnancy feeling though, so my hunch is that I am . We need a strategy if so, re, dh...
Better go,he's lurking..

I really hope both your hunches are right...^^^

Isabeller sorry to hear about your bfn ? I am glad though you have your frozen embies waiting for you when you are ready to try again.

diege and calendergal ooh you both sound really sure your signs are positive - I hope the results are whatever you desire (sorry diege I am not sure in your case what it is you actually want )

hopeful your post made me hoot ? woman you are our thread guru!! Font of all knowledge ? how come you only just worked out the swimmers needed to be waiting to pounce Glad you finally got your peak on CBFM?didn?t give you much planning time though did it!

calibee sorry to hear about your DP's visa issues - hope it gets sorted out - wherever you go, I hope you get some quality time together (I know UK can be pricey but you can get some bargains - I went to a lovely cottage in wales once - fabulous hill walking and a roaring log fire and hot bath at the end of the day - perfect).

I waved off my DP and SC at the airport yesterday ? I have to work over the next week so couldn?t go with them (is it wrong I am secretly pleased to be having time to myself?). Came home, rushed around doing acts of housewifery then went out with the girls for wine, gossip and a kings size bed all on my own. Slept like a log for 12 straight hours? bliss!

On matters conception ? I am now CD12 and confused (which i know seems to be my position every month!) I got positive OPK?s late CD09 and first thing CD10. I have had ovulation pains CD10/11 but have still to get my temperature shift. I am still getting highs on my first month of using CBFM and my CM has gone from wet to sticky?Oh, well not much else I can do about BD?ing anyway (but did manage to BD CD8/9/10/11 so am hoping at least some of the fellas are loitering about in my tubes having a nap waiting for the egg to fire out!). We are due to go to fertility clinic on 29th March 2012 but I am going for a transvaginal scan thingy before then to see if there is anything amiss (if nothing happens this cycle - I remain ever hopeful!).

Apart from that DP surprised me yesterday by telling me that we are off to Bermuda for a long weekend in March! Yay! He has friends there who have invited us to stay with them and he has loads of airmiles which he has used for the flights. I am very, very excited.

Welcome to everyone new ? this is a fabulous thread and full of good advice and support. I look forward to getting to know you?.maybe we should have a bit of a roll call by way of introduction?

Greenlizard Age 43 (DP also 43) TTC #1 for about 6 months. No other children, never been pregnant but have two SC.

JBrd, 41, one DS (21 months), TTC #2 since August 2012 - recent BFP sadly ended in mc, just starting up again

HI everyone.

Mmm thanks for the brownies, Martha. Yum, yum. I haven't had anything with sugar in it for 19 days. I feel well proud of myself, but a bit of brownie would be soooo nice!

I am very excited Deige and Calendergirl. Can't wait for those BFP's to pop up. Also . I wish I could I get one too. Still, I remain optimistic. We did the deed last night. And this morning I got a "peak" reading again on the monitor. WTF? No highs but two peaks??It must be the tail end of the surge.I also had ovulation pain last night, right around the time of SWI, so as far as I'm concerned those little soldiers are all in place, waiting for Miss Egg. They better do the right thing and pierce that girl! I WANT ME A BABY!!!

Right, rant over

I had a lovely time yesterday afternoon while DS was at Kinder. Unfortunately the time sped by, 2 hours isn't long enough. I didn't find much at the thrift store, mainly gorgeous, in-perfect-condition baby wear. And whilst I was looking through it I actually said to myself,"I wish I knew what sex I am having". Clearly I have lost the plot, because I am not even pregnant!

Deige, when you say you need a stategy re: DH, do you think he'll freak out about it? You didn't do it on purpose and recently you both thought you might ttc again, so would he be upset? How long til the postie arrives? I will be checking back all day at work

Wow, greenlizard a weekend away in Bermuda You lucky girl.That sounds wonderful. I do know what you mean about having the place to yourself, bliss! It happens so rarely for me, and I love a bit of time to myself.

Time is ticking on, and I must get organised. Breakfast, Charlie's lunch, my lunch to make, shower, dress for work, get Charlie ready for school...argh!
Better get a move on!

Vital Stats: Hopefulgum 46. TTC # 6 for three years. Had last baby at 41+ 9 months. three miscarriages since.

P.S: As the oldest on this thread I feel a bit like the Mother Hen, and I must say Jbrd, it is time for you to see the GP. If your sinuses are still hurting I am willing to bet my complete stash of pregnancy tests (and I've got tonnes) that you have an infection and need antibiotics to clear it up.

Or have you already been?

I hate hearing that you are feeling so poorly. I do hope you feel better soon. And drink some bone broth - that stuff is the nectar of the gods. Unless of course you are vegetarian. In which case, forget I spoke

Morning . Don't worry gum will update when I have news. I am a little worried about dh's reaction as,although we were ttc until quite recently, we both decided we had enough (dcs) and felt happy with our lot. He has been quite excited about when our nursery fees will reduce, etc etc and recently said he was glad about the decision we made to stop. I think (if it was a bfp) that I would sit it out for at least a few weeks in case it comes to nothing - is that mean? Anyway, better get the test first
jbrd I was in hospital a few years ago with sinusitus as I had let an infection fester without treatment (I was pregnant with ds1). I have never felt so ill,so please get you to the gp and some anti bs if you think it is sinuses xx
Gum your dtd timing seems spot on - very excited for you. You are still ovulating so very much game on, just a case of that golden egg xx
remnant thought of you when I woke this morning and wondered how you were getting on? It's a really awful time, the waiting it out .
Love to all, and will be back later x

Hello to all.
diege that must be quite a dilemma. However, maybe faced with what you both strived not so long ago DH will have a change of heart? I hope so.
gum I think your monitor is still getting to know you. At least you are getting peaks...not just endless highs. Good luck for those little fellas being in the right place at just the right time.
lizard..very of your Bermuda trip. How lush. I wonder if maybe your body geared up to ovulate but didnt make it on this occasion. Keep an eye on cm and maybe do more opk's if you notice any ewcm (or even imagine you do)...your body may have another go at it.

Stats Calibee aged 43 (just) DP 23 ttc 10months for our first together. #1 for DP #4 for me. First round of clomid =bfp in Dec sadly mmc at 10weeks. Tentatively dipping toe back in....

I forgot to say...I have booked a gp appointment to check my thyroid funtion and blood sugars for diabetes etc. I was advised at EPAU at my last appointment that it can be a good idea to get these levels checked when ttc as they can have a detrimental affect on fertility. Particularly hyperthyroidism which can interfere with cycles making them longer or shorter. Has anybody else had these done?

Calibee, I had those tests after my second miscarriage and both were normal. It can't hurt to get them checked because they are easily sorted out I think.

Deige, I see what you mean about your DH. I also completely understand waiting it out a few weeks before saying anything. I don't think it is mean, just sensible.

Hasn't the bloody post come yet....(finger tapping on the desk)...

Morning all

Well my temperature was up this morning so obviously a delayed temp rise after O? Still using my CBFM as instructed to do so by the machine but still getting highs. Will keep using OPK's until confirmed temp rise after 3 days but I can see from the sticks (IC's) that the surge is well and truly passed. So looks like I am into another 2WW I will not be obsessing extra vigilant this time round, no ladies I will be an oasis of calm, quietly humming que sera under my breath ......

hopeful seems like we are still lined up on our cycles if you O'd yesterday? Will you be encouraging joining me in this approach? Sounds like perfect DTD timing for the fellas being lined up and ready for your egg(s)....fingers crossed!

calibee I had those tests done as part of my overall fertility check up at my GP....she tested me for just about everything under the sun but I remember those in particular (as well as the regular FSH, LH etc) - didn't give it much thought at the time. Sounds like a good idea to get everything checked out if you can - I am definitely the school of you can't know too much!

jbrd definitely you should see your doc....that sounds horrifically painful and you really don't want to get a nasty infection!

sparkly thinking of you and hope you are ok and remnant hope you are ok as well - such difficult times for different reasons. Hope you are taking care of yourselves and are getting some support.

Diege I will be checking my phone at work today to see your update (hurry up postman!!) If you were actively trying until recently, I bet your DP will be thrilled (once he gets over the !) ooooh, i am very excited for you!

Have a great day everyone...

Hi! Greenlizard I often get delayed temp rises after ov - I think Toni Weschler (?) calls it a stairway pattern? Do you temps/monitor fit with dtd?
Thanks for the advice about dh everyone - I'm sure he will be ok,though I'll have to let it sink in for him. If pregnant I do feel a bit responsible as I assured him we were safe (I hadn't imagined I would ovulate on cd9 after it being cd 16 the mth before!) but I know it happens (friend of mine had her 3rd at 48 and dtd once that mth on cd 8). The fmu was ready and waiting until I got a shout from dh in the bathroom - 'S (ds2) is drinking some dirty water in a cup under the bath - can you get his drink cup!!!' Most of it had spilled thankfully but will have to make do with a later wee!
Thanks for advice of waiting Gum - it does make sense to wait a bit, plus dh thinks I'm having af (had some spotting last week which I had assumed was af) .

Postman has arrived and they are here - all 50 of them! Have about 2 hrs of wee saved up (tmi) so will give it a go when dd gets out of the bathroom. Wish me luck!!!!

greenlizard Good luck with the 2WW! Will be following with interest, we need more bfps on here!
And I'm also very at your Bermuda trip! We used to do nice and exotic trips all the time before DS came along (wistful sigh). And now... ah well. I'm still looking forward to our Centre Parks break next week, I intend to make full use of their spa facilities! Surely, having massages and sauna and facials etc will help to get rid of the illnesses, right?!

Diege Has the postman been?!? Hopefully, your DH will be able to cope with whatever the news. Wouldn't it be ironic to have an accident, after you decide to officially stop trying ttc...?

Thanks everyone for their well wishes - I am feeling a bit better today, and my sinuses have stopped hurting. Instead, it appears now that (sorry for the gross tmi) they are expelling everything. I cannot believe the amount of bright yellow-green snot that I have been producing! It's disgusting, but at least it's coming out.
I'm back at work today, will have to see how it goes. I can cope much better now that the pain has gone, but will keep a close eye on it. I agree with everyone that the last thing I want now is another infection!