Fantastic Forty Plus, part 9, this time is our time,bring on the bfp's!

[hopefulgum]

We've filled out thread - I do hope you all find your way here. I can't add a message on the old thread to let you know it is here...

This new thread, will no doubt have its own set of bfp's and babies. I am excited to see what it brings.

So much going on when I sleep

Firstly, congratulations to notsoold. This is wonderful and exciting news. I hope it all goes smoothly from here. Like you, if I ever get a BFP again, I won't be telling DH til I feel I am in the "safe zone".

Remnant, how devastating for you. I am so sorry for your loss. I can understand what a blow this is, because it is so final too, with a reluctant partner. I hope he will still be able to give you comfort. Come and talk with us if it helps.

Sparkly, I am sorry to hear that things aren't improving. It is such a difficult situation to be in. With your last pregnancy, did he improve once the baby was born? Would you feel better if he weren't living with you during the pregnancy? I know you would prefer he did live with you,but in a different way, but it seems he isn't improving in his attitude and this negativity cannot be good for you or your DD. I can't believe he won't get some counseling. Clearly, it is not normal to react this way. Yes, he may feel resentful, but all the same, most men would eventually accept and move on. You say he has control issues - that in itself could be helped by talking to a professional. I am sure that a psychologist would know how to deal with this. In your shoes I think I would get some counseling for myself, to maintain my own sanity throughout the pregnancy.

I hope the scan goes well. Please come and tell us all about it.

Well, the roast dinner was delicious, and I managed to stay awake so I managed SWI though I wouldn't really call it SWI when I am only on day 10 today and the monitor says 'low". But I had a look at my last 4 charts and it seems I am ovulating earlier in my old age, around day 12 or 13 (it used to be 14,15,16), so I may get a peak soon. I hope that ovulating earlier doesn't mean that the egg doesn't have enough time to "ripen". I noticed that my last three pregnancies which all ended in mc, that I ovulated on day 13,16, 16. With my DS's pregnancy it was day 15. Anyway, getting pregnant at this age will be a total miracle, so I should stop analysing it all. I've done what I can, so I'll just keep shagging with my fingers crossed for a happy outcome.

Have a lovely day/night

Wow, there are news from every end of the spectrum here at the moment, the really happy and the devastatingly sad.

notsoold! Congratulations! That is wonderful wonderful news! So happy for you! I would not be able to keep this from my DH, how will you keep the secret?!?

remnant I'm so so sorry that it turned out like this - in spite of the issues you were having with your DH, this is still heartbreaking and a blow. Be kind to yourself, we're here if you need us.

sparkly I cannot begin to imagine how you must be feeling at the moment, it must be soul-destroying. Your DH clearly needs help with his issues, why must he be so stubborn?!? I'm a bit of a control freak, too, but this is clearly on a different level. Not sure what I can say to help or comfort, this is such a deadlock.

CaliBee Even if you don't end up somewhere warm and exotic, you should book a get-away with your DP!

DoctorWho Hope that you start feeling better soon!

Well, I'm still battling various illnesses, stinking cold with the sinusitis from hell, and DS also has a bad cold and what I suspect is conjunctivitis, sigh. It just never ends, does it? But unlike me, DS is bouncing around and completely oblivious to all the gunk that is coming out of his nose and eyes. Wish I could be like that!

notsoold what fabulous news! Congratulations! (I'm with jbrd though - there's no way I'd be able to keep it from my DP; you must be more discreet than I am!) I'm so happy for you - here's hoping it'll be an uneventful pregnancy with a perfect little baby at the end of it (it's clearly quite resilient as it's already survived falling down the stairs - I think that's a good sign )

remnant I'm so, so sorry about what's happened. First to have to endure the problems with your DH and now an mmc. Life can seem so cruel sometimes. As others have said, we're here if you need us. Take good care of yourself.

sparkly what can I say? I want to give your DH a good shake, frankly. Of course nobody understands him - that's because he's being so unreasonable! Was it gum suggested you have some counselling for your own sanity, independently of him? I agree - you need to look after yourself and DD. I have to say I feel very sorry for your DH because he must be so miserable and mixed-up - but you have to come first at the moment. What I would find really difficult in your shoes, I think, is the uncertainty - is he going to go? stay? stay and carry on like this? stay and change his behaviour? I feel for you.

jbrd it's just one thing after another! Hope you manage to have a nice relaxing weekend and that you'll feel better by Monday (and you DS will be gunk-free!)

As for me, still no sign of AF (CD37). I used to have quite erratic cycles when I was younger but for years now they've been fairly stable in length (albeit not entirely regular) at about 33 days. So I don't know what's going on but I'm sure I'm not pg so I'd just like to get on with it.

gum I read your post from the other day about having a sudden blue day when everything hit you again, and I was thinking how I hadn't had one for a while but that you never know when one will come...and then I had one on Wednesday. Triggered by the bfn, I guess, and with my due date coming up on the 18th. Also, my DSCs came back that day and I'd offered to take the youngest (2.5) swimming in the afternoon. In the morning I got really upset about how, whilst I'm happy to take DSD, I'd like to be able to take my own DC one day. Given the state I was in I was dreading the afternoon but DSD enjoyed herself so much that I had a lovely time too (it was her first time in a swimming pool - I generally hold back and let their DM do 'firsts' with them, but there are things their DM's never going to do). DSD's enjoyment really pulled me out of my black mood - and then when we got home her brother and sister were clamouring to be the next one to get to go swimming with Morien. I know I'm 'only' 40 and that there's still a good chance I'll have my own DC; in the meanwhile I'm going to try to focus on how lucky I am to play such a big part in my DSCs' lives - I used to see it that way, but recently I've got a bit bogged down in 'but I want one of my own'.

Thanks for your support everyone. Just a quick post as I'm on my phone to say from the scan alone,Down's risk is about 1 in 400 (or looking at other markers NHS don't use for calculation, 1 in 650).Bloods should be back middle of next week, earlier if they aren't good,but Fx they will be. I don't think DH'll take this well. Gum, you're right it's not a normal way to react, & I may well have counselling if things don't improve.
Enjoy the weekend if you can everyone.

I love this list where we are safe to say things....I am really thankful that this thread exists!

Jbird....poor you!!! It is incredible how nothing hold children from bouncing about....take care! Xxx

Morien I loved reading about your experiences with dscs... My dd is not dh's biological daughter. His input over her life was so important that nothings comes between them

Gum I knew you would get it!!!

But ladies I have a plan!!! I told Mother ....it means I can talk all I want as we speak in Portuguese if nobody is about. Also part of me want to avoid this cloud of loss over this situation and is very important in my culture to share and celebrate. So I did that with my dm and I hope to be able to not say until everything is safe....easier said them done!!!! My dm and I have a bet if dh notices anything like ms or weight gain... I wouldn't count on it ...

Sparkly I don't get numbers but it seems really good result??? Thinking of you and Remnant.. Xxx

Lovely Friday to you all

Much much love to all.....
I just had marvellous news...DP couldnt stay away, hes nearly home

I'm in the naughtiest of moods...no SWI here just pure filthy shagging on my mind. [shosk]

Oooops I'm so so sorry ladies. I have no idea what has come over me.
Have a great weekend all xx

Calibee...you go girl!!!! ;)

Congratulations notsoold that is brilliant news! Yay for a 40's bfp. Fingers and toes crossed you have a very relaxed and boring pregnancy!

remnant I am so,so sorry to hear your news - you must be devastated. I hope you are ok and despite the difference in opinion over the pregnancy that you DH is taking care of you now.

sparkly words fail me when I read your post - I can't seem to get my head round your situation at all. I am so sorry it is difficult - every time I try and think of something to write to you, it sounds all worried, cross and judgemental - which is not how I feel (except the worry bit) so I have given up trying. Suffice to say I am truly sorry for your situation, I hope it gets better, I hope you get some support from your friend and I hope you put can yourself, your DD and your little bean first even just for a little while.

morien you sound like a brilliant stepmum (and obviously mum-to-be)! I know exactly what you mean that it's all very well getting on great with SC but we want one of our one too! I am glad it isn't just me that feels this way so thanks for sharing! ps. I hate the DM too but a positive over 40 TTC article is to be shared regardless of dodgy provenance! I will console myself with the fact I didn't actually buy it.....

jbrd Hope you get to put your feet up this weekend and rest - you must be worn out - physically and emotionally. Sending good health best wishes your way..

calibee you most certainly sound like you are planning to SWI! Just not the conception type of intent - excellent work! Enjoy.....

So would appreciate you advice - should I be worried about my wildly varying O'tion dates? Since I have been TTC I have ovulated cd16, cd14, cd13, cd10, cd16 and here i am on cd9 and i have just got a +ve opk and all the signs I am about to ovulate in the next couple of days . This is not a bit weird?

This month I am glad that i appear to be about to ovulate early because DP is off skiing on Sunday so assumed I was going to miss the action but this way I might just catch it DTD yesterday and today so far and can squeeze tomorrow and Sunday in before their flights....Started using my CBFM this month and started testing on CD6 and it went straight to high and has stayed there...now I know why! Will be interested if I get a Peak day tomorrow as I have clearly started surging this afternoon.

xx

Morning all, Isabeller asked me to pass this on:

"I'd be really grateful if you'd put our negative pregnancy test result on the thread. It is disappointing of course but we're both very grateful we had this chance and hope to have a frozen cycle once we've been to the clinic for a review.

There's no internet and only a very poor phone signal here but it is idyllic and the weather is lovely. We both, quite independently started counting our blessings.

Much love to everyone on the thread, lurkers included. Wishing success to everyone xxxx Is"

Isabeller, I am sorry it didn't workout this time, I am glad you have some frozen embies waiting for you. I hope you can still enjoy your break away.

Sparkly, I am so pleased at your NT scan result. That really is to be celebrated .

greelizard, I really am not sure about the early ovulation, though I did read something recently that suggested that if you Luteal Phase lengthens, then it can effect the time til ovulating in the next cycle. I was reading it over on Fertility Friend. I'll see if I can find it. It was speculation, but it made sense.It was in relation to taking progesterone, but it may be significant. Here's the link if you are interested.
You might also want to look at this thread which has some interesting info.

I am pretty sure in my case I am ovulating earlier consistently because I am getting closer to menopause, but I am 46, so it's no surprise. It is good to read,though, that many women get pregnant with early ovulation with THB.

Calibee, sounds like you are gonna be loved up all weekend. lucky you!

Morien, you sound like a wonderful SM and will be a wonderful mummy to your own baby.

notsoold, when will morning sickness start for you? For me, that would be the thing that twigs my DH. He knows my pattern with ms after 7 pregnancies, so I don't know how long I'd be able to keep it from him, but I will try if I ever get lucky again.

Must dash, LO is calling me. Have a lovely day/night!

P.S. my CBFM Is still reading low...

Can't do a proper post as I still haven't finished packing and we're off to Belgium tomorrow morning..I feel very disorganized!
I wanted to say I'm so sorry Isabeller but fingers crossed your cycle with your frozen embryos will be successful. x
We wont have any internet access while we're away so I'll catch up next week.
Love to all

Isabeller I am so sorry for you and Mr Isabeller....xxx

Green thank you!!!

Irish....have a lovely time in Belgium!!!

Hopeful....I never had much of a ms so I should be able to fob him off...harder will be if boobs grows as mucj as on past pregnancies... I end up looking enormous....

Calibee you are too busy to read this thread right??? ;)

Sparkly have a good weekend too!!

Thinking of you all xxxx

Isabeller I'm so sorry to hear that. Better luck with the frozen ones. Hope you still enjoy your trip though.

sparkly great news about your scan! I'm pleased for you.

irish enjoy your trip to Belgium! Good timing, it's just got much milder over the last day or so.

CaliBee...

Thanks, [notsoold], for telling us about your DD's close relationship with your DH. And thanks to [greenlizard] for saying you feel the same re DSCs and possible (I mean definite) future DCs. It's reassuring.

Hello to everyone else.
Have a lovely weekend everyone!

Isabeller, I'm sorry about your BFN, you must be very disappointed. I hope you can try again soon with a frozen embryo.

Just back online today after laptop broke pm Monday. Currently on the petrol powered one with no letters on the keyboard..if I don't think about it too much I can type ok
I'm so sorry about your news Isabeller. I had been thinking about you and wondering how you were managing in what must have been a tortuous wait. Fingers crossed now for then little frosties, and that you can relax a little on your break xx
remnant so sorry for your news too You must be feeling extremely upset, especially having to deal with dh too. How is he feeling if that isn't too sensitive a question?
On a happier note, many congrats notsoold . Do you have a due date?
Hope you're dealing with heat gum I do enjoy reading about your life in Oz. Didn't envy you the sex ed classes
Sparkly words fail me about your dh - you are doing so well to even live in the house with him having that sort of attitude. Congrats on scan - very good screening results xxx
Well af is late here - just a day or two,so feeling a bit . Temps still high too... Not sure how I feel tbh!

isabeller Sorry about your BFN, I hope that your trip will allow you to get some distance from it all. It's all such a roller coaster... Fingers crossed for the frozen ones!

I am spotting today ... Not sure what to make of it! At first, I thought AF had arrived (DH thought I'd gone mad when I started whooping and cheering in the loo - it's not really what I normally do when af arrives), but it really is just some very light spotting now. Will have to wait & see what happens. Again. Sometimes it seems to me that's all I'm doing these days.

Hi everyone.

Deige, good to see you, it's been ages, and for God's sake woman, do a bloody test! Your temperature is high and AF is late and you haven't tested??? Come on woman, I need news!

DH and I went out to a 30th birthday party last night (cue hysterical laughter) . I really felt I was on the wrong side of 40 The woman whose birthday it was works with my DH and we all love her,she's great (she's from England but has settled here). So there were mostly people her age and younger,getting very drunk and silly, and then there were a few of us from work (all over the age of 45). I had an inkling I'd feel a bit out of place sipping my mineral water, but by 9.30, I was certain I really am in a different phase of life.

But DH was a bit tipsy and we managed to have SWI again. I feel quite proud of my efforts (every second day is a lot for us), but I am still getting low on the CBFM, so I hope this doesn't drag on for too long! But I am going to give it my best shot this month.

Jbrd, could this be the start of your AF? It would be great if it is, at least you'll know where you are at and can get on with ttc. Dust off that CBFM and get ready for the sperm meets egg plan. Every second day from day 8, then on the day of the surge (or positive opk) then the next day and the one after that. Blimey, I feel exhausted thinking about it.

Sex is a good calorie burner isn't it???

Speaking of which (sex, not calories), the Health Ed classes are going really well, Deige. The kids have been really good, and the content is very scientific, so not embarrassing. However, last week I had to show them the DVD,"Where Did I Come From", which is about as old as I am. I remember seeing it in primary school FGS! So I got online and ordered some BBC documentaries, one of them by Dr Alice Roberts, The Incredible Human Journey, which I need to review, but from memory, I think it has some really good stuff about reproduction in it, with fabulous photography. So much better than the cartoon simplicity of the DVD they've put on the curriculum.

It is Sunday, and we've had a cool change. The forecast is for 22degrees (celcius) which will be very pleasant. DH is still building our outside stairs, which DS is loving. He's out there now playing with the dog. I will be going off to Knitting club, which hasn't got together since before CHristmas, so it will be nice. Though I haven't knitted a stitch because I don't really knit when it is hot!

Have a lovely Sunday.

BTW, just read through my post and want to clarify that DH and I did not have SWI at the party, which is kind of how it reads

Isabeller, sorry it didn't work out this time but comforting to know that you have frosties waiting. Will they try again next month or do you have to leave it a while?

sparkly, those test results sound good. It must be so hard not being able to throw yourself into enjoying the pregnancy (and hard to be patient with DH, I imagine).

remnant, I posted on your other thread a few days ago. I hope you're OK. I know it is the end of the road for you and I can imagine how awful you feel. I'll check the other thread too to see how you're doing.

AF due today here. Very much hoping it comes. Temp still high though.

Morning! Gum that sounds an interesting party! Good going on the swi-ing too. Fingers crossed you get that peak soon or you'll be at it forever .
The Alice Roberts programme is very good iirc and you are very good in seeking something new for them rather than putting on any old dross like some I know do!
Calender af due today here too, but no sign and temps higher than ever...also feel very tired and bleughh...I have ordered some tests off ebay (I have 50 coming as they were cheaper than smaller amounts ). So I'm the snug's official dispensary of tests (will post to whoever wants a few ) It couldof course be the vitex messing my cycles up. dtd-wise, I suppose in hindsight I was a little sloppy - 3 days prior to ovulation, one day after - not much of a chance there surely???
I'll admit that I feel very awkward writing this here. I feel quite tactless in light of the very sad news we have had recently, plus of course everyone desperately trying to get pregnant (if of course I am). I think I would be a bit cross if I were reading this post . Anyway, could all be nothing - will know Tuesday if not before x

just saying hi and marking my place, I too have rubbish internet access so had to post but I can read

Im TTC number 3 (had ds at 42) regular periods just a day shorter than before dd and still ovulate but not pregnant as yet

DId think I was once but AF came before I got a test since I wanted to wait unitl it was over 1 week late

off to read the thread now to find out about testing

Well its busy here...

Hi to southwest.
I'm sorry for not namechecking everybody just now as I'm dashing up to DD1's new house to make sure they eat.
I am reading though and keeping up with the trials and tribulations.

So sorry isabeller you must be disappointed. Always here for support x
I am supposedly 5dpo but not absolutely convinced. Despite the +opk and temp acting accordingly my body feels distinctly non luteal. Usually my boobs are sore by now. I wonder if this is all part of the post mc mess up.

How did the spotting progress jbrd??

gum I'm sure I have seen that documentary....if I'm right is it the one which shows quite detailed footage of sperm meeting egg and the stages that follow?? I hope you are enjoying the cooler weather.

remnant I hope you are ok...

Hi to diege...let us know how the test goes.

So thats another weekend flown by. Dp threw a spanner in the works re the holiday...his visa may not cover going anywhere out of the UK if not on forces business. Feeling slightly miffed at having to get him to chase things up to be honest. I am going have to be uncharacteristically patient and leave this one to him. Just realised my car is due for its service and mot by the end of the month...and I'm broke. Raaaaa.
Feeling just a little pissed off and despondent.

50 tests Diege? And you're not really ttc?

Timing-wise, three days prior to ov is quite possible of course, though admittedly less likely at 40+. I did conceive two days prior to ov at 36.

Welcome, Southwest. I'm new to the thread too - there are lots of us suddenly come out of the woodwork for the new year . Congratulations on ds at 42. How old are you now?

CaliBee, that's disappointing about the visa. Can you go anywhere nice in the UK (perhaps wait until Easter for slightly warmer weather)?

No AF here. I think possibly sod's law has been enacted (this month really being not a good month to conceive) although my LP has been behaving oddly lately so I am trying to reserve judgement...

Nothing much happening here. Still no cramps, still no bleeding. I'd really rather let it all happen naturally but may feel differently if nothings happened by the end of next week. News finally dawned on DH yesterday and he was genuinely very sad for me. He was even horrified that I hadn't told him sooner (I had shown him the report from the scan but a few days later I realised that reading 'no heartbeat found' hadn't meant anything to him). Actually said that we could try again I if really wanted and apologised for freaking out over the whole thing! Anyway, I'm not sure how I feel about that right now. I don't believe that after this there's much hope for me anyway.

Does anyone know how long cycle typically takes to get back to normal after an MMC? Does it make a difference if it's dealt with surgically, medically or happens naturally?

Isabeller, I felt gutted for you when I read gum's post. Really hope that the next cycle works out

Sparkly, very happy (if not a little bit jealous) for you and your scan results.