Fantastic Forty Plus, part 9, this time is our time,bring on the bfp's!

[hopefulgum]

We've filled out thread - I do hope you all find your way here. I can't add a message on the old thread to let you know it is here...

This new thread, will no doubt have its own set of bfp's and babies. I am excited to see what it brings.

Wow remanant wow! Congratulations!!

I think once your Dh realises that it happened before he had mentioned not wanting trying for another, he'll be fine!

Soo jealous! And a few days prior to ov too! I have thrown away the ov predictor kit and am just going au naturel from now on. Hoping it works!

Congrats Remnant...wonderful news, and I'm sure DH will come around as Fizz says once he realises it was done before he changed his mind.

Now begins the horrid 'what-was-that-is-it-a-sign-of-pregnancy' thing...every twinge, every tiny hint of nausea (nausea played a big part in all 3 of my pgs and also all 3 of the labours ) every tingle in the boobage area.

I'm sorry that I haven't commented on everyone's updates but am posting and cooking at the same time, but fingers crossed for everyone.

x

Hi ladies can I come and sit on the sofa? I'm 41 and TTC DC3, I have a Ds aged 14, and a DD also aged 14 (not twins, born 11 months apart so they are the same age for 1 month a year!). I had an unplanned pregnancy last year which mc at 7 weeks, and currently on cycle 10 of TTC. I'm 11 DPO today, and symptom spotting like mad! Every twinge etc is driving me crazy.
Congratulations Remnant - Any 'symptoms' before your AF was due? Did you have cramps etc? Please share the details!! x

remnant Congratulations, that's fantastic news! So happy for you. And hopefully, your DH will soon come to agree

CaliBee - hope all is good with you...

Congratulations remnant !!! It's wonderful news and I'm sure your DH will come round.
It's very encouraging to hear you conceived after dtd a few days before ovulation. DH goes away for a week in the early hours of Monday morning and I ovulated on cd16 last month. I'm on cd 12 now so if we dtd again Sat and Sun morning I might be still in with a chance!

CaliBee hope you're ok xxx

Welcome Quick ! That's amazing having two 14 year olds! Are they both in the same school year?
I also started to ttc last year after miscarrying an unplanned baby. I always would have loved another baby but DH wasn't keen and I had resigned myself that it wasn't practical and three children was our lot. We had got a bit relaxed about contraception but it was a big surprise to find out I was pregnant, I didn't even test till I was over 5 weeks ! Once we knew we were so pleased and were both then devastated when I miscarried at 11 weeks. DH was keen to try again and I felt an overwhelming longing and need ,not to replace the little one we'd lost, but just to have a baby. Unfortunately I've had a further two miscarriages since but I'm still hoping and there's great support on this thread.

Cheese lovely to hear you're having a little girl(though I'm sure you'd be just as pleased if it was a boy!) and that all is going well.

JBrd how are you ? x

Congratulations remnant . Hello to all the new people too.

I am still baffled by how people know when they have ovulated - can you all shed some light? I have a fairly irregular cycle, though having been on the pill for most of the time since I was 18, I still feel I'm getting to grips with it myself - varies from 28 to 38 days. I've tried temping, but can see no real pattern and have tried OPK sticks, but only seem to ever get a very faint second line which, according to the instructions still means negative. Also, from what I've read, we need to dtd in the days leading up to ov rather than after, so that's probably too late. As DH won't give in to my demands every other night for two weeks, I'm trying to pin it down more specifically as it feels like pure guesswork at the moment!

Hopefulgum - in answer to you question we were trying from after my ds2 was born in 2008, as I was 40 when he was born and I wanted the pregnancies close together.

He is now 4.5 years old, so we were trying for 4 years. In three years as you know, I had 11 miscarriages, since my last miscarriage a year ago we have not fallen pregnant again. After 6 months of not being pregnant we stopped trying as such.

However we are not using contraception, so there is a chance of pregnancy, but from tracking my cycle for so many years I know when I am in the fertile phase and just telling my dh has the effect of generally stopping proceedings!

To be honest I have got to a place where being nappy-free and with all the children now at school, I find it hard to picture myself going back to the stress of sleepless nights etc. also the ideal of having a sibling close in age to ds2 is no longer possible so the dream I had has effectively died. I have grieved for the lost babies, the lost dream and the loss of my youth and loss pf my fertility, over the last year. I am going through a period.of transition, mid-life crisis if you like, and this does not fit well with the idea of pregnancy/baby happening at the same time!

The transition from ttc to stopping has been a slow process. One that I am still working on. I hope this helps a little? I like to check up on how all my "old" chums are here every now and again, it is good to see some successes too.

Many congrats remnant gives me hope to hear of your bfp :) Im sure dp will get used to the idea in time.
Hi quickdowntonson you must be busy with 2 14 year olds. I have a potential large gap too, my kids are 12 in a few weeks & 13 & 1/2, but both dp & I are used to this set up both being the middle child of 3 with a much younger sibling. My sister is almost 9 years younger & dp's sister is 12 years younger.
Hope everyone on here is ok & has a good weekend. :)

Wow. So much goes on while I sleep! It's always nice to get up and drop into the thread with a cup of tea.

The internet is dropping out every few seconds, so I'm not sure if this post will make itWill push on though.

Remnant - that's bloody brilliant news, particularly after the decision to not ttc had been made. I hope this is a sticky little baby!

Thanks so much for your reply Galwaygal, I sometimes have those feelings - that life is simpler, time to move on etc, but still haven't quite felt the desire to stop ttc. Like you, I wanted a sibling close in age for my DS (he's also 4.5), so now that gap just keeps widening. No matter all the arguments for not bothering to ttc, I still can't shift the desire for a baby

I bumped into one of my friend's sons yesterday - with his little daughter in a sling on his chest. Oh - she was so gorgeous (3 months old) - it was a funny feeling - our children are old enough to give us grandchildren (he's only a couple of years older than my eldest son), but I still want to have my own baby.This young man's mother, like me, has had a baby in her forties ( at 42) but since then has had three miscarriages, and hasn't had anymore miscarriages in the last two years (she's now 50). I know that could be me too - that I get to my 50th birthday without having a THB. She is still open to it, but has moved on I think, she is studying to be a naturopath.

I think I will come to it eventually, but right now,I am still hopeful. Though I would be very surprised if I get a bfp this cycle. No symptoms whatsoever and temperatures not very high. I haven't used the progesterone cream this month, so I wonder if that gives me all the symptoms in previous months?

woolywomble - in answer to your question: I have an idea of when I've ovulated because I get ovulation pain most months, and it is distinctive and different to other abdo pain (e.g wind pain). Also, I have taken my temperature and charted for 5 years now, and the pattern becomes very clear after a few cycles. It might be worth trying charting again - fertility friend has a great tutorial to get you up to speed. Also, do you notice a change in your cervical mucus? If it feels "wet" or resembles egg white, then it is fertile time and you will ovulate soon. Also, the Clearblue fertility monitor is great - you use first morning urine and it tells you when fertility is high in the run up to ovulation, and peak day is usually the day of the LH surge, which means ovulation in the next 12 -48 hours. It can help take away the guess work, and means you don't have to be having SWI every other day from day 8 onwards...especially if you have a long cycle.

Welcome quickdowntonson - you are still young, so I hope you will be pregnant soon. So sorry for your loss. It is heart-breaking.

Morien - I'm still doing the running program, but I'm quite sore. I wish my knees and ankles didn't hurt so much, because aside from that I am motivated, and don't find the running too hard (I seem to be getting a rhythm and don't get too puffed). I went to the gym a couple of days ago to do a "bodybalance" class (mainly yoga and pilates) to help with the soreness and do some stretching, but instead of helping I am much more sore! I think I may have over done it. I am having a rest day today - not going to run or do yoga or anything, but it's hot,so will probably have a dip at some point.

Tina, I hope the doctor can help you with your headaches, how awful.

Cheese, a little girl!! How exciting. I am still hankering after another daughter.I've got three sons, I need a little girl to even things out (but will take a boy, thanks very much).

Calibee - come here soon- we are here to support you no matter what happens.

galwaygal thank you for sharing your story. 11 miscarriages in 3 years must have been unbelievably difficult to go through.
At 44 going on 45 I know realistically that my dream of a baby may not happen so I know it may be something I will just have to accept and come to terms with if that is the case. My last miscarriage was at the end of Aug/beginning of Sept and because I was told taking aspirin may make a difference I still feel I have to give it a chance for a while longer... but I think I would find it difficult to start using contraception again so I don't know if I can put a time limit on trying. Good to hear you feel you are making the transition,hope you can work through it.

wooly as far as I know the only way to confirm the day of ovulation is a sustained thermal shift, but you only know retrospectively. I only started using opk tests relatively recently but have got a darker line that correlates with the temp rise, not ever quite as dark as the control line though.
I was wondering if anyone else finds the line gets darker over a few days or if it goes from completely blank to positive?
The opk tests detect the LH surge so it tells you ovulation is likely to occur ,but only the temp rise will confirm that it has.
As you say eod for 2 weeks isn't always possible to achieve, especially when rl gets in the way!
I find that now I've started noticing ewcm that gives some idea too, but it's not an exact science!

hi gum, posts crossed(I'm a slow typer and am multitasking , baking a cake and have a load in the washing machine at the same time!)
I wonder about grand children too, in only 4 years DS will be the age DH was when we had him. Though I'm very glad we had him ,the early years were difficult(I was newly qualifed, DH was still a student) so I would prefer for his sake if he waited a bit longer! I still don't know if grandchildren would compensate for my own baby, I think I'd like to be greedy and have both!

Can I join too? I'm 40 and just about to start ttc again, although I have been lurking on this thread for a year while, so I feel as though I know some of you already.

hopeful good morning

Thanks for all the encouragement everyone. I'm still in shock. I won't be able to think it real until I get through a CVS/amnio successfully, and I realise how many hurdles there are between now and then. I also know that most of it is out of our control. Have we collected anywhere notes on 'best practice' for avoiding mc in 40's though? Anything more than aspirin?

galway 11 miscarriages ! omg I'm so sorry but slightly in awe, what a trouper you must be to keep going.
lotsofcheese congratulations on your girl - if I get that far I will be finding out gender
pinkfizz hope your approach works x
quickdowntonson hello, welcome and good luck
woolly have you tried a cbfm? I think it can cope with cycles up to 40 days, but check. I can sympathise anyway re every other day for two weeks being unrealistic. We just managed on day 9 and day 13!

Right now I'm jumping at any twinge, knicker checking and expecting to see blood all the time. I've had a couple of hot flushes today but that's about it. Very premature obviously, but I already feel like I'm betraying DS1 sadly. I've heard that when second child comes along you do lose some intimacy with eldest. That right?

Hello ladies. Like calendargal Ive been lurking for a year and feel I know you all too. Im 41 in a few weeks and have a five yr old daughter. We made a conscious decision not to have any more kids. Dd is perfect and no trouble (so far !). I dont have a maternal streak, dh did all the baby stuff.I dont find babies snuggly or sweet at all.
It my be my biological clock ticking in my head, or the fact that all the nice young mums at school are having their second or even that my lovely SIL is having her second (we were pregnant together, dd and her cousin were born five days apart) but recently Ive thought should we?
I feel really sorry dd wont get to do the big sister thing I suppose and dont want to do the "what if? " in a couple of years when the decision will be out of my hands. Ive read the stats on mc and problems for ladies our age and quite frankly it terrifies me and do I really want to go through all that.
Im going to have a chat with dh this afternoon. If he still is happy with one thats ok with me (will be a short visit with you ladies then). Hes only 32 and I dont think age worries him yet, but time is not on my side so I think we need the chat sooner rather than later !
Will let you know how it goes. Must say though I have felt privledged to read your stories. People assume once your 40 youre done with the kid thing and dont realise that its not always the case. Wishing you all bfps or at least some peace of mind with your decisions.

Hi everyone,
I was just reading over some of my older posts and came across this advice that was given to me when I was last pregnant. It helps explain why aspirin can be helpful for women who have had previous miscarriages, just thpought it might be useful to someone:
"Ive also had several miscarriages but I'm currently 24 wks. Like you my tests all came back inconclusive but apparently most multiple miscarriage cases are inconclusive only a small percentage are down to an identifable factor. As soon as I found out I was pg I self referred myself to the early pregnancy unit where I was scanned and told to take 75mg of aspirin daily. I didnt know the science but I did know that aspirin in small doses can definitely help. My parents have a friend who's a haematologist who kindly explained that after each miscarriage microscopic clots are left in the mothers bloodstream - causing no health issues for the mother but they can affect the flow of blood to the early foetus - potentially leading to miscarriage. Apparently every mc increases the amount of micro clots and therefore increases the risk of another mc! The drug of choice to treat this is aspirin and they usually start off prescribing 75mg to be taken daily, they prescribe clexane if they are more serious clotting issues. IMO I think you would be wise to take a low dose aspirin daily but you need your dr to agree, as for progesterone I asked about this and my consultant said that there was little evidence that progesterone supplements would have helped me"

Hello to the newbies

I'm just dropping by to wish everyone on here a happy new year. I really do hope it brings lots of BFPs. It was nice to see my name on the list.
When I was TTC, this thread was so supportive - it was my safe haven to say exactly what I felt. Congratulations to remnant - when you're ready, pop over to the 40 plus thread on the pregnancy talkboard. There's a few familiar names from this thread.
I'm 30 weeks now, a baby boy due date 17th March - 8 eight days before my 41st birthday. I thought it wasn't possible, but there seems to be many many more of us over 40's conceiving - something I've been told throughout my journey. Much love and hope for dreams to come true this year for all of you XX

Hello calendargirl

It's good to be back home after a 9 day care stint with DPs Mum. I slipped a bit with C25K but will get started again today. The first injection of our DE cycle is next Monday and thank goodness the nurse is going to explain the treatment plan to us because we've only had a very rough outline of what to expect so far.

We've arranged the care rota so that if all goes well we will have the embryo transfer just before my next stint which gives me a bit of time now to concentrate on treatment and nest building which is my new positive term for working on the building site which is my home.

I'm a bit about a 2ww on care duty because I really want to avoid heavy lifting and last week involved a good deal as DPMum is now very very frail and unsteady, thank goodness DP stayed to help. On the plus side I can definitely see the advantage not having time to think too much.

I'm just dropping by to wish everyone on here a happy new year. I really do hope it brings lots of BFPs. It was nice to see my name on the list.
When I was TTC, this thread was so supportive - it was my safe haven to say exactly what I felt. Congratulations to remnant - when you're ready, pop over to the 40 plus thread on the pregnancy talkboard. There's a few familiar names from this thread.
I'm 30 weeks now, a baby boy due date 17th March - 8 eight days before my 41st birthday. I thought it wasn't possible, but there seems to be many many more of us over 40's conceiving - something I've been told throughout my journey. Much love and hope for dreams to come true this year for all of you XX

I'm just dropping by to wish everyone on here a happy new year. I really do hope it brings lots of BFPs. It was nice to see my name on the list.
When I was TTC, this thread was so supportive - it was my safe haven to say exactly what I felt. Congratulations to remnant - when you're ready, pop over to the 40 plus thread on the pregnancy talkboard. There's a few familiar names from this thread.
I'm 30 weeks now, a baby boy due date 17th March - 8 eight days before my 41st birthday. I thought it wasn't possible, but there seems to be many many more of us over 40's conceiving - something I've been told throughout my journey. Much love and hope for dreams to come true this year for all of you XX

PS a special message to Irish, we started our pregnancy journey together, but sadly weren't able to complete our journey together. I hope that dreams come true for you this year for you. Hugs XX

PS a special message to Irish, we started our pregnancy journey together, but sadly weren't able to complete our journey together. I hope that dreams come true for you this year for you. Hugs XX

Thank you all for the lovely welcome. I'm reading through the thread ( thankfully this one is still quite new) to 'get to know' you all.
Irish- my DS was born in jan 1998, and my dd the following December the same year, so they're not in the same school year, which is a blessing as they are very competitive with each other. Funny though, they were both born on the 18th of the month, both 4 days before the edd. They are very close, so I do slightly worry that when (if!!) we have dc3, s/he may be lonely.
Reading your posts, I am truly humbled by the suffering / lossesthat some of you have been through, amazing you can be so stoical.x
Hello to all the other newbies!

Hello to all...so much going on here.
First of all I just want to give my love to jbrd...your ordeal sounds like a complete nightmare. I hope you are ok x

Woohoo to sparkly and remnant on your BFP's...I havent missed anybody have I???

So many newbies...how lovely. Hello and welcome to all.

Well my nightmare is still ongoing. I had HCG levels taken last Monday and Wednesday. They were 11000 and 15000 respectively so not quite the 60% they look for, however the nurse did say that once they get to >10000 it can take up to 4 days for the increase. Anyway I have a scan on Monday afternoon which should tell us what we so need to know. Sadly DP will be back to barracks on Sunday so I will be going alone.
I am trying to stay positive but struggling if I'm honest. My mood is in my boots and I'm irritable and snappy and have no energy whatsoever.

I was just having a quick read before rushing off to the hairdresser's - wasn't planning to post but couldn't not say something to you, calibee, just to offer some sympathy. I'm so sorry you're faced with DP going away as well - that must make everything even harder. Will be thinking of you on Monday.

Oh Calibee I have everything crossed for you. Hopefully you'll get some much needed answers on Monday. The fact that your hcg is increasing is very positive, and I'm presuming the spotting has stopped now? Will be thinking of you x
*Remnant what brilliant news! And very clever getting a bfp when you did too
Tina Things sound positive - not long now until your scan too x
Welcome to all the newbies - great to see the thread so busy.
Sorry I've not name checked, not much time this morning but just wanted to say hello. Also thanks for the migraine meds advice Irish - will def try that one before going to GP. They are now fortnightly, if not more frequent. Usually triggered by hormones (first day of period) or stress, but the last few seem to have come out of no-where .
Love to al xxx