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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Fantastic Forty Plus, part 9, this time is our time,bring on the bfp's!

992 replies

hopefulgum · 01/01/2013 23:20

We've filled out thread - I do hope you all find your way here. I can't add a message on the old thread to let you know it is here...Smile

This new thread, will no doubt have its own set of bfp's and babies. I am excited to see what it brings.

OP posts:
DoctorWhoFan · 17/01/2013 21:02

Awww Patches, that sucks. I was still holding out hope for you...

Talking of PJs, I only got out of mine at about midday today, and I'm back in them again. I can tell I'm having a bit of a downer...

Urgh, sorry to hear about the migraine isabeller, they're truly awful!

Christ pink, I would have gone up like an atom bomb over the cig thing too. DD sounds like a spoilt brat, and the mother should be reported for allowing her 14 year old daughter to smoke! Disgraceful! I smoked from when I was 17, and only managed to quit last November at just turned 45. I've actually found it really easy, but then my state of mind at the time was "oh my god this is disgusting, it's got to go". So it did Smile. There is no way a parent should be actively encouraging/allowing their under age child to smoke.

Crikey, let me just climb down off me hobby horse... Blush

twentythirteen · 17/01/2013 23:04

Busy bees! I'm so sorry to hear all the sad stories of relationships and the to much experience of mc's.

Afm, i'm 4dpo, not a symptom in sight, previously i've had a sign by day 5 or 6, each time a different sign but all clear as day. "wait, wait".

hopefulgum · 17/01/2013 23:11

Oh My Goodness, so much action on this thread!! You are probably all snuggled up in bed, but I'll chat away anywayGrin

Miscarriage is a strange thing in so many ways. It is not something that can be shared with your partner, because they just cannot feel it the same way we do. Some of your stories, I think it was pink and newpatches with the horrible reactions from partners, are really upsetting Shock but I can fully relate to them. I remember the first miscarriage I had and my DH was "relieved" because he didn't really want another baby, and the day after my ERPC he went out to a New Year's Eve party whilst I sat at home alone and watched telly. There was no way I could face my friends,but I couldn't believe he'd rather go out and celebrate when my heart was breaking. My friends told me later that he was in fact "very upset" and cried when he told them the news. But he didn't shed a single tear in front of me. When my second miscarriage started he told me that "he wouldn't feel any differently this time", and what really hurt (and this shows me up as a selfish bitch in some ways) was that the night I had the ERPC, he had a phone call from his mother telling him his father had been diagnosed with cancer (we found out the next day it was a misdiagnosis) and he sat there, with tears rolling down his face, and I thought to myself, "and not a single tear for our baby". I realise now that he just didn't feel an attachment to our babies like I did. We had many a discussion about it,and it basically came down to that. I found it so hard to understand, but there it is, nothing I can do to change it.

That is why, if I do get pregnant again,I really don't see myself telling him til I am past about 9 or 10 weeks. I know how ludicrous that sounds, but I don't see the point if he doesn't feel the same connection that I do, and honestly, he'd just give me negative vibes which I can do without.

Sorry about the BFN and AF newpatches. Onwards and upwards I say, look forward to loads of lovely baby-making sex.

Isabeller, sorry to hear about the migraines, sounds terrible, but will be worth it when you get your lovely BFPSmile

Jbrd, sorry to hear you are feeling unwell, make sure you see a doctor if the bleeding doesn't slow down. The clean oven sounds amazing. I really need it done. I cannot see through my oven door. But I am hoping to buy a new one soon, so might just hang on a bit longer.

Remnant - how are you? Have you told DH the news?

Sparkly, sorry to hear about DH's relapse, but I am not surprised. I am guessing it won't be easy or simple, that he'll have to work through his demons to get to a happier place. It is certainly not you who needs counseling - he does. And I really don't think it is something he'll be able to sort out alone. You just concentrate on growing a healthy baby, try not to get stressed (I know, not easy) for your bub's sake.

Well, yesterday we booked some lovely accommodation for our trip to Bali in July.We also booked our tickets, so it feels like it really is going to happen. God knows how we'll pay for it, but right now I don't care. I have been feeling really relaxed and positive about ttc,which is nice. I haven't taken my temperature, haven't turned on the CBFM, haven't bought any opks and in some ways it feels liberating. I haven't given up on the idea of a baby, but I'm no longer trying to "control" things. Somehow the holiday overseas is part of it.Don't know why, but I guess I see the whole holiday thing easier without pregnancy niggles to worry about. Having said that,I'd gladly go away with a baby on board.

My DS and I were chatting last week at the swimming pool. He often asks why we don't have a baby, and he'd said something about it at the pool. I told him I didn't know if we'd have another baby, he replied,"yes you will, you will have a baby in your tummy when we are in Lombok"(our holiday). So, you heard it here, from my 4 year old - perhaps he's pyschicHmm

Calibee, I am so glad your DP is coming home. Smile

OP posts:
remnant · 17/01/2013 23:26

hello all,

just time for a quick report back from me before bed. I'm doing ok mostly, thanks for asking jbrd and sparkly

I'd been planning to keep the news to myself at home until I'd been for a scan at 7 or 8 weeks to see if there was a heart beat, but it began to feel a bit like deception, and the anticipation of DH's reaction began to feel as bad as anything that was likely to happen. So I did tell him on Monday, and his reaction was actually much worse than I'd expected Sad I won't go into details but there were all sorts of accusations, recriminations and demands. But, bless him, within 24 hours he's retracted almost everything and now is apparently supportive. It was like he went into shock, basked in it a bit and then came out the other side. Still, it's early days, but glad the worst seems to be over.

To be honest I don't know now if I'm more scared of losing the pregnancy, or of it actually progressing Hmm Blush I know there are always risks, and every healthy birth is a miracle, but feeling my age right now and my dh is not any younger. a good bit older in fact. You'd think I'd have thought all this through in advance wouldn't you.

remnant · 17/01/2013 23:34

cross posted hopeful x

calendargal · 17/01/2013 23:56

This thread moves fast! I've logged on a couple of times but haven't been able to catch up.

Remnant, good to hear that all seems well with your pregnancy, though sorry to hear about the conversation with your DH - I can imagine the content.

Calibee, very sorry to hear your news. It is the pits, I know.

NewPatches - drat. I thought for sure you were pg, despite the BFNs. (By the way, that was one of my favourite books as a child. I wonder if it's still in print?)

TTC is a strange thing. I've managed to convince myself I'm pg this month despite not actually having sex at all Hmm It's the like the symptom spotting must begin just because I've made the decision to ttc, even though I haven't started yet...

Will go back now and read the other messages.

NewPatchesForOld · 18/01/2013 01:11

Calendar gal...really? You're the only person I have ever met who has read the book!

CaliBee · 18/01/2013 07:30

Good morning all.....im still in bed on my phone so apologies for not highlighting..
Im so sad for all of you facing tough times at the moment and those of you feeling down or ill.
Isabeller...i'm one of the fortunate few who has never had one but i do remember that it was the only thing that ever put my mum to bed.
Jbrd....how is the bleeding today? Are you still off work?
Remnant and Sparkly....i'm thinking of you both.
Newpatches did you break the news to dp about af?
Hopeful....that must have been awful for you spending new year alone after erpc.

I just flicked on tv and it said trains are running emergency timetables only....i dont know quite what it means but it doesnt sound good.
Dp was telling me last night that the other guy in his room whose girlfriend is pregnant is also been allowed home on special leave this weekend as she is apparently considering a termination. How ironic. Im sure she is 2-3 weeks ahead of me. I would never ever judge but wont deny that gave me a painful twist in my stomach.
Im still bleeding/spotting lightly but have no pain. I was so hoping nature would have sorted this out for me so i could avoid a general and the risks of erpc.

sparklysapphire · 18/01/2013 10:52

Calibee, you've not been hogging the thread, we're here to support each other, so keep posting as much as you need to. Surely Lancaster to Shropshire is not beyond the wit of the train companies, even in snow, (ours is useless though - at the first sign of any adverse weather they put on an emergency timetable and tell us nothing), so I hope your DP makes it back to you sooner rather than later. Nature may still step in over the weekend. I was advised I didn't need an ERPC, as apparently the m/c was almost complete, I then bled for another 10 weeks or so, so would definitely go for one if I find myself in that position again.

Isabeller, how is the migraine? I hope you're feeling better today. I too have been lucky enough not to have them, but they used to put my mum in bed as well.

Drwho, I know my DH sounds awful at the moment, but he's a good man, and I love him to bits. He knows it's making it really hard for me, but I honestly don't think he can help it. He's also a great dad to DD, as everyone knew he would be despite his struggles when I was pregnant with her.

Gum, wise words as ever, DH really does need to find a way to work through this. Day-to-day is ok at the moment. I've been putting off going to the doctors, but I know I have to go on Monday or I won't get into the system early enough for screening. And wise words from your DS too. Your Bali holiday sounds wonderful, especially as I'm sitting here looking at the fine snow and worrying about picking DD up from school, it's short car journey, but I hate driving in snow, because I'm a complete wimp.

JBrd, how are you doing? I hope you're feeling better and the bleeding is stopping.

Remant, I very much hope your DH now stays positive, it must have been horrible when you told him if he reacted so badly, but I'm very pleased he's come round. I know exactly what you mean about being scared of both m/c and the pregnancy continuing, but I know I'll be heartbroken if I lose this one as I know it's my only chance for another child.

Pink, no wonder you struggled with you DP buying his DD cigs, I wouldn't have had any patience with that, so sorry he was unsupportive when you miscarried, and gum too, that must have been so hard, having an ERPC at New Year and your DH going out.

Patches, sorry AF finally got you, I hope your DP didn't take it too badly.

DH is doing a very long day today, finishing about 11pm. He was offered a hotel for tonight, because of the forecast, but then his work changed their minds. Last time he drove home from work (about 30 miles) in heavy snow late at night it took about 5 hours & of course I was very worried, so I'm hoping it'll better tonight, so may or may not see him later.

I hope everyone in the UK is keeping nice and cosy, and the snow doesn't prove too disruptive. Love to all.

Zeuxippe · 18/01/2013 11:49

Hello is it ok if I join this thread? Cycle 1 of ttc for dc2 but got a BFN this morning despite it being cd 31 and no af.

I'll be 40 on 26th Jan and worrying now we've left it too late. DP also about to be 40 very soon. Wanted to ttc last year but kept being threatened with redundancy and did eventually lose my job in September but thankfully now employed again.

Had a quick read back through the thread and hope everyone is ok today

JBrd · 18/01/2013 13:04

Bleurgh. So now I have got the no reovirus from DS - just when I thought I'd be spared.
Woke up at 5am this morning, feeling so so sick, but instead of throwing up I had a number of violent diarrhoea attacks. Now a temp of 38. The diarrhoea has thankfully now stopped, but I still feel sick to my stomach.

Just lovely. Feeling extremely sorry for myself Sad

JBrd · 18/01/2013 13:05

norovirus even. Stupid autocorrect.

CaliBee · 18/01/2013 14:03

Oh jbrd you poor thing. Hopefully its over fairly quickly for you. Darling children eh?? But at least he was polite and shared with you Smile

Hi to zuexippe...welcome to the thread.

My dearest sister just came and dragged me to the pub (can see it from my house) for lunch which cheered me up a little. However my lovely aunty has been rushed into theatre for the 2 nd time this morning after first op went wrong.

CaliBee · 18/01/2013 14:04

Snow looks to be getting lighter here....fingers crossed that DP can be with me very soon.......damn I've missed him.

TinaO99 · 18/01/2013 14:52

just catching up with everything thats been happening on the thread and it puts my cares and worries into the shade!

calibee and Jbrd my heart goes out to you both

sparkly hope all is resolved with your dh soon and your rocky road becomes smoothed over!

Dr who loving your sense of humour and wise words!

Gum crossing my fingers that your ds is right, he sounds very confident bless him.

I hardly dare moan about my woes as they are so trivial! I've been stressed out and in tears over redecorating the spare room as a nursery - got a professional in to do it as it needed two walls insulating with this special paper as its so cold. All seemed to be going well until I checked it last night and the whole wall of paper was on the floor! Given up now and am finishing it off myself! At least the interior walls are done!

I've also got to assist in interviewing 4 people to cover my maternity leave which feels a bit weird, like someone's trying to steal my job which is stupid I know and I'm not even attached to it!

hope you'll all join in wishing me good luck for next tues, it's my 20 week scan and I'm hoping that not only is all ok but that I'll find out the sexes, so excited!!!!!

sparklysapphire · 18/01/2013 22:09

JBrd, norovirus, eurgh, I think I had it before Christmas, caught from DD who had it the previous day. The actually being sick etc only lasted a few hours but I felt quite feeble for several days afterwards. Wishing you a speedy recovery.

tina fingers crossed for your scan on Tuesday, hope all will be well, very exciting to find out the sex(es) of your babies. I'm sure the nursery will be lovely.

Calibee, I hope you are tucked up with your lovely man, and he's lavishing TLC on you.

Hi to zeuxippe.

Isabeller · 19/01/2013 05:38

Hello lovelies, thank you so much for the migraine support. It eased on Thursday night and we battled our way to the clinic on Friday for my baseline scan. It was good news, DP said he had everything crossed on his side of the curtain Smile, and our donor was also ready to start treatment so here goes.

The medication I've just started has the most alarming patient leaflet I've ever seen but if I manage to avoid stroke, blod clot or spontaneous combustion my womb will be like feather bed in approximately two weeks Grin.

I hope you feel better soon JBrd and Calibee.

I'm dropping off so sleepy waves to everyone Wink

hippychick66 · 19/01/2013 10:08

Hello, I haven't been on for ages. I don't think I'm ovulating anymore so I am trying not to think too much about ttc and the 3+ years I've just spent chasing that elusive last baby. However, I've just spotted Calibees sad news and didn't want to read and run. So sorry, Sweetie. Hope your scrummy dp is with you soon. X

Gum - let's hope your ds is right. My son told me he knew I was pregnant the other day. So because my af was late and I keep craving pickled onions I did a test. What an idiot - of course BFN. My cycles are all over the place and I never see a temp rise - what did I expect! LOL

greenlizard · 19/01/2013 10:56

Morning everyone. Am on my phone so apologies for not name checking everyone.... it's been busy on this thread over the last few days - I can barely keep up I have been at work pretty much constantly over the last week so am glad I have finally got a day off. Yay!

Wanted to ask your views (while I am waiting to go into my second acupuncture session). I am on cd13 and think that I am ovulating or just about to as have ovulation pain and clear cm. I have previously got positive OPKs with clear blue but I have yet to see that smiley face yet. I used a tesco cheap test yesterday and it seemed to give me a positive but again no smiley face this am? Does anyone have any experience of this?

remnant · 19/01/2013 12:26

greenlizard, I wouldn't worry too much about not getting an opk. Some months I got a strong positive, and some months I didn't. For example, in November I got a peak status on CBFM, but no positive OPK at all. I think the hormone levels can peak and fall off in a short space of time so you might easily miss one if you're testing every 24 hours. Are you temping?

isabeller, excited for you
tina, will be thinking of you on tuesday. how are you finding the twin pregnancy so far?
hippychick, it would have been great if you got a bfp.

jbrd, hope you're feeling better
calibee, great that it seems like dp has made it

Welcome Zeuxippe, there's no reason to think you're not too late, you can get hormone level tests from gp if you're worried

I've got the fear today. It seems like my symptoms aren't developing, that is unless you include spots. I'm going to buy a CB digital test to see how pregnant it reckons I am.

calendargal · 19/01/2013 13:41

NewPatches, yes - I admired its social realism Grin The episode that sticks in my mind is when the other girls are starting to thaw towards Patches and one of the nicer ones gives her a glass of pomegranate juice. She thinks the seeds are drowned flies but is fearful of being impolite and desperate to make friends so drinks it anyway. Much later in the book her friend finds out. Another thing that sticks is early on when the other, mean Patty won't let her be called Tricia, and she knows it's because she'd "never allow her to have such a flattering nickname" (that sentiment dates the book though, doesn't it!) It's all very real and the characterization is so good - remembered at a distance of 30 years anyway! I loved the book and haven't thought of it for years, so thank you for reminding me of it - I'll hope to share it with my DD one day.

Well, AF just started - on CD37!! Last month was 27 days, and I'm not sure I ov'd either month (temping, but no clear pattern). Am still breastfeeding though, and cycles only returned six months ago - I'm hoping it's that rather than peri-menopause.

remnant · 19/01/2013 15:00

calendargal, how often are you breastfeeding?
It's not much of an aphrodisiac is it?

I cut down to one feed, (first thing in the morning, giving me more of a lie in than I'd have otherwise) and that, combined with plenty of supplements, vitex etc, seems to have been enough to normalise my cycle. I think you just have to convince your body you don't have a very young baby dependant on you, rather than give it up completely. Having said that, I never planned on bf up till 3, but that's not too far off and ds seems to have other ideas. It'll be interesting to see, if the pregnancy progresses, if he manages to keep going all the way through.

GogoGobo · 19/01/2013 15:26

Hello everyone.
Can I join you?
I am TTC to no.2 :)

I am 43, and have one DS born at the end of 2010 via ICSI. I did achieve a BFP from another ICSI treatment in 2012 and scanned revealed twins but sadly we lost the pregnancy at 10 weeks.
I have not had much encouragemet from my clinic since and they have suggested donor eggs because of my age and so we are TTC naturally (as we have "unexplained" infertility).

There are lots of inspirational posts on here and it will be good to throw my hat in with some like minded individuals - those looking to beat the odds!

CaliBee · 19/01/2013 16:53

Just a quick check in....dp made it after all last night. So glad to have him with me. Bleeding seems to have stepped up a gear and i have what feels like constant period pain. Is there still hope that this could happen naturally i wonder??
Waves to hippy x

Irishmammybread · 19/01/2013 21:30

Just trying to catch up with all the activity on the thread in the last few days,it's been very busy!
Hi hippy it's nice to see you back again.
Welcome to captivatingtears Amberini Isadorable mumalah zeuxippe GogoGobo hope I haven't missed anyone else new,hope you all get get your BFPs soon.
mumalah how sad to lose your little boy,I'm so sorry.
CaliBee it must be a relief to have your DP with you giving you some support. It could be that things are starting up for you now if you're getting pains and the bleeding is getting heavier,maybe you wont need the ERPC after all. Glad DP is there to look after you so you don't have to go through it alone. Will he still be around on Monday?
gum thanks for the good wishes for my DD. She's doing ok post surgery,in a bit of pain and can't walk very well but is going a bit stir crazy with the inactivity and being confined to the house,she's even looking forward to going back to school!
My temp has dropped and AF is on the way, ah well, there's always next month.

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