Oh My Goodness, so much action on this thread!! You are probably all snuggled up in bed, but I'll chat away anyway
Miscarriage is a strange thing in so many ways. It is not something that can be shared with your partner, because they just cannot feel it the same way we do. Some of your stories, I think it was pink and newpatches with the horrible reactions from partners, are really upsetting
but I can fully relate to them. I remember the first miscarriage I had and my DH was "relieved" because he didn't really want another baby, and the day after my ERPC he went out to a New Year's Eve party whilst I sat at home alone and watched telly. There was no way I could face my friends,but I couldn't believe he'd rather go out and celebrate when my heart was breaking. My friends told me later that he was in fact "very upset" and cried when he told them the news. But he didn't shed a single tear in front of me. When my second miscarriage started he told me that "he wouldn't feel any differently this time", and what really hurt (and this shows me up as a selfish bitch in some ways) was that the night I had the ERPC, he had a phone call from his mother telling him his father had been diagnosed with cancer (we found out the next day it was a misdiagnosis) and he sat there, with tears rolling down his face, and I thought to myself, "and not a single tear for our baby". I realise now that he just didn't feel an attachment to our babies like I did. We had many a discussion about it,and it basically came down to that. I found it so hard to understand, but there it is, nothing I can do to change it.
That is why, if I do get pregnant again,I really don't see myself telling him til I am past about 9 or 10 weeks. I know how ludicrous that sounds, but I don't see the point if he doesn't feel the same connection that I do, and honestly, he'd just give me negative vibes which I can do without.
Sorry about the BFN and AF newpatches. Onwards and upwards I say, look forward to loads of lovely baby-making sex.
Isabeller, sorry to hear about the migraines, sounds terrible, but will be worth it when you get your lovely BFP
Jbrd, sorry to hear you are feeling unwell, make sure you see a doctor if the bleeding doesn't slow down. The clean oven sounds amazing. I really need it done. I cannot see through my oven door. But I am hoping to buy a new one soon, so might just hang on a bit longer.
Remnant - how are you? Have you told DH the news?
Sparkly, sorry to hear about DH's relapse, but I am not surprised. I am guessing it won't be easy or simple, that he'll have to work through his demons to get to a happier place. It is certainly not you who needs counseling - he does. And I really don't think it is something he'll be able to sort out alone. You just concentrate on growing a healthy baby, try not to get stressed (I know, not easy) for your bub's sake.
Well, yesterday we booked some lovely accommodation for our trip to Bali in July.We also booked our tickets, so it feels like it really is going to happen. God knows how we'll pay for it, but right now I don't care. I have been feeling really relaxed and positive about ttc,which is nice. I haven't taken my temperature, haven't turned on the CBFM, haven't bought any opks and in some ways it feels liberating. I haven't given up on the idea of a baby, but I'm no longer trying to "control" things. Somehow the holiday overseas is part of it.Don't know why, but I guess I see the whole holiday thing easier without pregnancy niggles to worry about. Having said that,I'd gladly go away with a baby on board.
My DS and I were chatting last week at the swimming pool. He often asks why we don't have a baby, and he'd said something about it at the pool. I told him I didn't know if we'd have another baby, he replied,"yes you will, you will have a baby in your tummy when we are in Lombok"(our holiday). So, you heard it here, from my 4 year old - perhaps he's pyschic
Calibee, I am so glad your DP is coming home. 