Fantastic Forty Plus, part 9, this time is our time,bring on the bfp's!

[hopefulgum]

We've filled out thread - I do hope you all find your way here. I can't add a message on the old thread to let you know it is here...

This new thread, will no doubt have its own set of bfp's and babies. I am excited to see what it brings.

CaliBee have a hand and a hug, so sorry you're going through this and especially when DP is away.I think if the EPAU still wont see you in the morning it probably is worth having the private scan, if it's good news it will be peace of mind, if not they may refer you straight to the EPAU. When no heartbeat was seen on my private scan they gave me a written report and phoned the EPAU to say I needed to be seen, which I was straight away.
It doesn't sound like your bleeding is very heavy. I bled twice for a few days each time,at 9 weeks and 15 weeks ,with dd2 but she was fine. With my miscarriages the early one started like a period but was just heavier and more painful.The one at 11 weeks started with light spotting and it was 5 days before heavy bleeding started and a further 2 days before the sac passed. The one at 12 weeks started with pains for a few days and then a big gush of blood with no spotting first, but still another 2 days before the sac came so I don't know if there's a typical pattern really. Some bleeding doesn't necessarily signal the end of the pregnancy, I suppose the scan is the only way to find out .
It must be some comfort that your DS knows and is with you .
Thinking of you xxx

Irish thankyou for being so open about your miscarriages. It really does seem that everyone is different. I am still holding out a little hope that this bleeding will ease off and all will be ok. xx

Calibee ? I am so sorry you are going through this ? I extend my hand for you to clutch whenever. I really hope it works out for you (I know you are justifiably worried but it might be OK? I hear of people cramping and bleeding in early pregnancy all the time). I will keep everything crossed and send positive messages to each and every entity I can think off. It must be so tough doing it alone without DP and having to consider your DS too. I would definitely call the unit in the morning and explain your situation (and there is nothing wrong with exaggerating your point to get the service you need. If you don?t get anywhere then at least you can go to the private scan later in the day).

Diege ? so pleased your DD is working out how to play her situation ? she is clearly feeling better!

This evening I have been to have my acupuncture, which I found to be weird rather than relaxing?but I did feel quite calm afterwards despite having electricity being run through needles stuck in my abdomen and feet! The lady I went to see has many years? experience and is also a GP (which I am sure is quite unusual) and we had a really good chat about trying to conceive at my (therefore our!) grand old age.

She didn't bat an eyelid at my quest for a baby and went through my medical history, diet and lifestyle with a fine tooth comb before treatment. Her advice was this: no booze, no salt, little sugar, lots of fibre, lots of fruit and veg, moderate exercise, sleep and relaxing and lots of ?good quality? sex (i.e. Don?t be having sex just to conceive as this is contrary to intimacy and therefore a stressor). No surprises there really except I kept thinking, I don't even have any kids and I can't manage that lot! I could put more effort into my overall wellbeing than I do, so I will be trying harder on that front. Apparently by turning up on her couch at CD9 I was perfectly timed to prepare for ovulation. She wants to see me on Saturday and then no more this cycle. We shall see.........

My appointment with the beautician was more painful but entertaining as we were discussing dating at the age of 40 (therapist is 10 months divorced and has just started dating again)?reminded me of my own experience of internet dating and how lucky I am to have met my DP. I also got my eyelashes tinted on a whim and they look great. So all in all, I have had a day that has been quite good fun (if cold!) and very productive.

xx

Ps. Drwhofan ? your DP sounds fabulous! - moi?

I have only just seen this Calibee. I am so sorry you are going through this. I hope you can have some answers soon, as I know the waiting and not knowing is so difficult. Do you have someone who can go to the scan with you? I know your DP can't be with you, but having someone there to hold your hand might be a good idea.

I am a bit that the EPAU won't see you ASAP. It is rather cruel to make you wait until your appointment. In Australia they got me scanned as soon as I spoke to the doctor. I have had scans when I've been bleeding and had perfectly healthy babies, but I've also had miscarriages, and the only way to know for sure is to have the scan. Both my miscarriages started with brown discharge and actually didn't have red blood until later, it may have been after the ERPC (but in both cases they were "missed" miscarriages). With both my daughters I had red blood from the start and all was fine.

I've got everything crossed for you.

Deige maybe we passed each other in the hall at Alder Hey today!
We could have gone for a coffee in the canteen(decaff of course just in case!)
I was the small lady(5'1'') in jeans with longish brown hair(courtesy of my friend the hairdresser who disguises the grey) ,a fringe to cover up forehead wrinkles and a worried expression....it's not much fun when your child has a general anaesthetic and surgery is it.
I'm glad your DDs surgery went well and she's recovering at home now.
My DD got on ok, not so dramatic when it's scheduled surgery rather than an emergency like you had to go through!
She has a huge dressing on her leg and needs to keep her leg elevated as much as possible for the next few days, she can walk but it's painful so I'll be doing a lot of fetching and carrying! She can't get her knee wet for 2 weeks until we see the consultant again so showering and hair washing will be a bit of a challenge but if it's successful and she can start to play sport again it will be worth it.

CaliBee - another hand from me to hold and lots of hugs, too! It's awful, this waiting game, and its so damn hard to stay positive! I'd also say, go for the private scan, if it gives you peace of mind. You'll at least know where you stand, that is worth so much, in any case.
Have you got any friends or relatives closer by for some 'real' handholding...?

Sorry for not more name checking, I'm shattered. Had to pick DS up for the childminder early today, as he had thrown up. Which he continued to do about every half hour after we got home His tummy was clearly troubling him, and after every puke he wanted a cuddle - before we could change his clothes So I'm going to have a shower now that he's finally managed to go to sleep!

He knows of course that I've booked a manicure tomorrow that I will now have to cancel. And DH is buggering off North for a business trip overnight tomorrow! Told him, if DS is still throwing up, he can't go

Calibee, holding out hope for you here too.

Thinking of you Calibee xx

Congratulations to your DD NewPatches and so pleased to hear your DD is bouncing back Diege.

twentythirteen I'm having my first attempt at IVF with Donor Eggs and the injection I had last week induced an immediate artificial menopause. I'm going for a scan on Friday to see if everything has shut down and then my hormones will be controlled by the clinic to synchronise me and the anonymous egg sharer who will be having IVF at the same time (the idea is that as she has no fertility problems but her husband does she is likely to produce more eggs than she needs so will share them with me).

Sending fragrant thoughts your way JBrd

Its silly-o-clock in the morning...what would I do without you all eh?
Thanks for keeping me company through this.
I have go through 2 glasses of water through the night and my mouth still feels like cack...is this another anxiety symptom I wonder.
I feel like a bit of a wuss tbh, I'm usually so strong, its how people know me but for some reason I'm caving on the inside this time.
Anyway at this moment I cant feel any pain and the bleeding just now was no more than a vague pinkish stain on the tissue (sorry for tmi)....oh please please to whatever entity power that be, please give this little one a chance.
hopeful sadly I dont really know anybody I could ask to come with me (how sad) I think it would be too much for my mum (her twin sister went into hospital in the last week for a bowel ressection) ..I'm sure my sister would come but shes a bit of a distance away.
jbrd I hope you have had a peaceful night with DS...sounds like the dreadful norovirus...bleughhh, finger crossed you dont get it too.

How are you doing Calibee?

You're not a wuss. I'll bet like me you're able to be strong for other people, and people always think you'll not have any problems being strong for yourself when in actual fact you need as much support as anyone else when things go tits up. I don't blame you for caving, I'd be exactly the same. Although, your last post sounded a bit more positive in that there was less blood, so fingers crossed...

Dear Callibee, I hope you have contacted your sister. Will be keeping you in mind all day xx

DrWho thankyou for asking. And yes you got it totally right..we are the same. For me I think it comes from bringing children up alone and being quite an unconventional character anyway....I always do what my Mom would sniff at ....bless her.
My DS popped his head round the door earlier to see if I wanted anything....he may be a pain at times but he really does care.
I seemed to have turned into a total pessimist over the last three weeks.... I think optimism has its place but I have come to the conclusion that preparing for the worst will make the blow easier.....and good news would be a fantastic bonus.
I have decided to wallow in bed for a couple of hours this morning...it somehow gives me the feeling of control lol.

Calibee....you rest sweetheart!!! Thinking of you today..xx

Calibee, I hope you are getting plenty of rest. Let us know how it goes today.

Greenlizard, nice to hear about your acupuncture appointment, and that she didn't think it unusual or impossible to have a baby at your age. It can be a bit weird at first. Though I do remember my first time having acupuncture and I had a pretty amazing reaction to it. I felt a rush of warmth from the toes up when she put the needles in my toes. I don't have as obvious a reaction these days. I've been going for about 5 years regularly and I think it helps me feel calm, relaxed and I don't get sick too often. I've only had the electric thingy once, to help induce labour, but it didn't make much difference.I have also had the treatment with burning herbs ("moxibustion") which was weird, but nice.

My practitioner says that acupuncture isn't for everyone, not everyone responds to it, but personally I think it is amazing. I just wish it was the magic answer to getting pregnant and staying pregnant cos if it was, I'd be playing with a toddler right now. But who knows, perhaps without it I wouldn't have my DS?

Jbrd, I do hope your Little One is feeling better soon. How awful for you both.

Deige, I am glad things went well for your DD, and you too, Irishmammy.

Just been on a big catch up here. Calibee will be thinking of you all day too, everything crossed! Congratulations to your DD NewPatches, I've two who drive and one learning, gives me heart attacks every time they go out, especially in this weather but they are probably better drivers than me! Can't believe what your DD has been through Diege but please to hear she's on the mend. Think it's bad enough as an adult woman, let alone a 7 yo!

And just a big BIG good luck to all of us, so many different stages and experiences going on here. I read Zita West's book last night (cover to cover) in about 3 hours (not desperate at all) (smile)! First month I've been charting, I think I'm now 2 DPO - but who knows. Everything crossed!! xx

Calibee, thinking of you today, & very much hoping you have good news.
JBrd, glad it all went well on Friday, & you are continuing to recover. I think you're very wise not to be at work this week.
I'm on my phone so this is just a quick post, I'll catch up properly tomorrow.

Thinking of you,CaliBee!

hello ladies.....
It wasn't good news. They have diagnosed a mmc.
Feeling very sorry for myself.
I have to think about how I want it managed and go armed with my thoughts to Monday's appointment at epau.....if mother nature is kind she will sort t before then.

CaliBee I'm so sorry it wasn't a better outcome for you, I was hoping you'd have good news this afternoon. It's just devastating , I know how you feel.
Sending you a big hug,look after yourself xxx

Oh, CaliBee, I am so so sorry How horrid that this had to happen, my heart goes out to you.
Be kind to and take care of yourself in this difficult time!

So sorry to hear your news calibee

Big , big hugs x

Big hugs from me too, Calibee. I'm so, so sorry - life is very unfair sometimes. You have lived with such uncertainty the last wee while.

In terms of your options, I've had 2 erpc's & found them absolutely fine, can't comment on other options as have only had that.

Please take time to care for yourself. Hoping your dp can be with you soon for moral support xxx

Thankyou cheese, pink, jbrd and irish

I'm home alone...again. I have informed work, just told them I would be back when I'm back.
Dp managed a 2 min phone call, with lads laughing and joking in the background where he sounded cold and distant....didnt even have chance to discuss what had happened. Why do I feel so damn angry??? Angry with him for not being here, angry with my body for letting me down, angry with the army for making him put them first.
I want to pack my bags and run.....sniff

I'm so sorry to hear your news CaliBee. I'm sorry you don't have your DP by your side as well - horrible to go through this without him there. Thinking of you.

Ah Calibee so sorry it didn't turn out to be better news . You have every right to be feeling angry - I hope mother nature treats you better this weekend.

As for your DP, I am sure that he has no idea how to deal with this situation so far away from you (as well as dealing with his feelings)..that he can't be there with you and supporting you might make him feel a bit useless.

Big hugs.