TTC after recent mc - thread 3. Handholding, naff jokes and the infamous Laura Ashley skirt.

[JamesAndTheGiantBanana]

Happy new thread! Here's hoping for lots of Christmas and new year bfp's, and long healthy pregnancies for everyone.

This was just an opk guys- I thought that might be a sign I was having another lh surge and therefore am even more muddled up that I thought rather than anything pg related!

Ooh thunder could be good! It's really frustrating isn't it diy I've had no follow up or anything so might phone hospital at the end of the week if thins stay the same as it'll be a month by then.

bodicea sorry you're having a hard time

Hi there, can I join you? I had a mc over Christmas/New Year, tried natural management, but then had ERPC last Friday...

Just trying to pick myself back up again at the moment, no idea when we'll start ttc-ing again.
Ideally, asap, I don't want too big an age gap between DS (now 20 months) and no.2, but right now, I have no motivation whatsoever. The last few weeks have been such a rollercoaster, I feel completely deflated. I've had lots of support from my lovely DH, family and friends, and physically, I feel fine - but so very tired and drained, like walking on egg shells.

This was my first mc, my first pregnancy was very uncomplicated, so maybe I was a bit naive this time round in not really thinking it could happen to me... There is no reason to believe (yet) that I won't be able to get pg again and get to the end, but I'm already thinking about how on earth will I cope with being pg after this experience?! Bit silly to worry about this already, but I can't help it.

thunder don't know what tests you are using but the clear blue ones will give you a positive with HCG. I was using a monitor last time I was pregnant and having completely missed ovulation that cycle it said I was ovulating day 26 and I was actually pregnant. Am feeling hopeful for you and thinking of a good 'weather' name

Welcome JBrd and sorry you find yourself here. Hope when you are ready to TTC again that it works out for you. You never get that naive belief that it will all be ok back, so early days of pregnancy after loss are hard, but we'll be here for hand holding as necessary.

Hi Jbrd, and sorry you find yourself here. Sounds like you've had a really shitty time and it takes time to recover from that- physically and emotionally. So if at all possible, try not to think too far ahead at the moment because things do get better and feel more positive. As tins says the worry doesn't go but you will get more energy and positivity for ttc in time I'm sure.

tins I had no idea the sticks could mean anything other than LH. I was using the amazon cheapies but I did a cb digi (not the monitor) this morning and no smiley. So have decided to put down the sticks, stop poking myself, take a few deep breaths and try to stop obsessing stay calm for the rest of the week at least!

Everyone else doing ok? Where have our pg ladies gone- would be nice to have an update!

Thunder - good idea. Deep breaths, step away from the sticks. Set yourself a date to test and dont allow yourself near them until that time. Does your DP have willpower? Give them to him to guard?

Jbrd- sorry to see you here. It does help being here though, really it does.

Now sorry to sound a bit 'me me me' but I am freaking out. This week is supposed to be fertile week, but I am panicking. After 2 mc in 3 months, Im scared. Scared that we wont get pg quick again. Scared that we will and it will go wrong. Dont know what to do. Argh!!!!!

Hey pink, yeah he has no idea I'm nearly as obsessed as I am and I've told him I wouldn't need to test til at least the weekend so I'm going to go for that. how will I summon the patience?!!

So sorry you're having a tough time but it's totally understandable. To figure out how I feel about stuff I usually pose myself a few questions so I'll do the same for you in case it's helpful..... How would you feel if you took the next month or two off ttc? Obviously that would take a bit of pressure off for emotional recovery. But if that doesn't seem like an option for you (it wasn't for me, despite this actually being a bad time to get pg) then at least you have learnt an important thing about how you feel about it?

Hoping that might make a bit of sense....

Thanks thunder. Yes that does make sense, and no I can't wait! It just isn't an option. I just wish I could stop obsessing over it, am trying to be proactive and doing everything I can do make sure it goes right next time, it just scary though. Ah well, need to just get over it really don't I!!

So, how are we going to help you hold on til the weekend? I always hide the pee sticks in my wardrobe ( so I can't go rooting around and wake DH up) and I will only ever test with fmu so that it accurate. So that means I force myself to go pee first thing, and then I don't even consider it until the next day. Try that maybe?

pink, I was exactly the same- just not an option not to try. So you know you want to do it, now you need to find a way to ease the worry a bit? Pppphhhhrrrrbbbb that's the real tough one isn't it?! Do you do yoga or anything? I've always found that has helped me in times of stress.

I don't have any hpts here, and peeing on opks mostly makes me confused, so I think I'm alright in not poas. I just need to stop obsessing about it all- any tips on that? Doesn't help that I work alone and am pretty lonely which is why I'm on here all the time!

Hello all
I have been playing with my new toy CB Fertility Monitor which arrived last night. I'm on CD5 today so think it's tell me to POAS tomorrow. Stupidly excited as we got a BFP the first time using one of these when we were trying for DS. Can you all tell I'm setting myself up for a mega FAIL this time

Hi JBrd - sounding very similar to me - first pg was so easy, had no problems (DS is now 26 mo). After MC I'm thinking that it will be pretty scary to get a BFP and then stress over scans etc But plenty of support here.

Final Guest watch update - DH commented last night that the house is "too quiet" now , I am enjoying eating back in front of the TV for the first time in 3 weeks

Just read my post back - with CB Fertility Monitors you start POAS-ing from CD6 ish and it reads your fertility and ov days allegedly
Then you keep checking it every morning and it will tell you when AF the bitch is coming to properly POAS

Hey choc , nice that you're getting some quiet TV time at last! How does the monitor work then- do you keep peeing on it from day 6 til af comes? Or is it more like a clever calendar so it just reminds you when af is due based on average cycle length?

My OH actually asked me this morning when do I think I'll be ready to start TTC again. I was a bit at him; I'm still spotting brown, FFS, and we got a condolences card this morning that had me in floods of tears. I think he got the message that no, I am not ready to try again just yet, particularly when I pointed out to him that if I POAS right now I'd probably still get a positive.

It's nice that he's still keen but...!

Thunder I used a CBFM when TTC my DS2 (worked really well) and the baby we lost in September (didn't work at all, never reckoned I ovulated and then said I was ovulating when I was already pregnant). It looks for rising oestrogen, as soon as it detects that it gives you a 'high' then looks for LH and gives you a 'peak' for the next 2 days when it detects the surge. Then it will add on a standard luteal phase of 2 weeks to say when AF is due or you should test if AF not shown. It does 'learn' your cycle if you keep using it so will ask you to start POAS later in subsequent cycles. Problem for me was it said 'high' from day 6 then never detected LH so continually said 'high' and asked me to pee on 20 sticks - at about £1 each this is not cheap!
I don't know why it didn't work for me recently, obviously am ovulating since I did get pregnant, and on the other cycles had pretty standard cycles with other ov signs. Am almost tempted to try again (friend has a monitor she will lend me) but the feeling of chucking £20 a month away if it is not telling me anything useful will not add to my disappointment at AF arriving!

Goodness that's really expensive- can see why you're hesitant about using it again especially after last time! You could give yourself a time limit on using it/trying without it just so it's more in control? Did you think it was really useful, or do you think the smiley faces of cbopks would work just as well?

ark, oh dear! It is really good he's keen though -mine really isn't that bothered-- but yeah, you need a bit more recovery time eh?!

Hi thunder, pink and all
So glad I found this thread, we mc just before ny and are ttc now (and im trying the play it cool as I can, but after spending god knows how much on kits and sticks am not sure that's working).
Has anyone else started spying on the food their oh is eating? I've read, from what I thinks a believable source, about how everything the both of us does can help it along. We're both really keen to get a bfp ASAP, but I'm not sure how much longer I can watch him eat super sugar sweets without saying something. Does that make me slightly batty?

Hi JBird Welcome to the thread but v sorry to hear about your mc. Good to hear you're getting support. Sounds like your body is still recovering if you're feeling so tired.

Thunder agree with Pink -step away from the sticks and hand them over to dh if necessary. It's the only thing that would stop me! Using the ov sticks is only going to worry/confuse you even more.

chocolate my cbfm arrived today as well but as I'm now on cd10 I guess I can't start using it until next af. Would be interested to know what you think of it as it seems from what baking and others are saying there are differing opinions in how well they have worked. Fx it works well for you!

Can I ask some advice please. I'm on cd10 at the moment - my first proper af after my mc and we are keen to ttc asap. I started using cb digi ov on cd7 & 8 and got negative responses. I tested at the same time last night which came up positive but this seems ridiculously early (cd9). I then tested again 4 hours later and it was a negative. I'm so confused - could it give a false positive or could my cycle be that out of sync? I normally ovulate cd17. I'm worried because my dh was away until last night and if I did ovulate I may have missed the boat - i did jump on him when he did get back! I don't know whether to continue testing and ttc every other day or just to give up for this cycle? The only other thing to mention is that when I looked at the test that gave the positive after I pulled it out of the digital bit there was only 1 line on the right and the line on the left that would normally show up wasn't there, only a blue smudge/stain which would make me think that it didn't work properly. Any advice would be very much appreciated!

Welcome Lex to the thread and sorry about your loss.

Less about what Dh is eating, more about what the amount he is drinking! He's just got back from a ski trip and I think a boozy time was had by all!

Thanks yorkie - yes been light on the drinking at least. Mind you, read that his boys take 3 months to mature so am really hoping that I don't have to wait for the 3 month clean up to hit them

Yorkie - I'd guess you had a wonky test and keep poas as long as you have the tests there? A couple of my first CB digi tests even when they had no smiley still had a faint blue second line as I think I ov'd early after the MC and missed it. So for your positive one to not have a line maybe means a glitch?

I ttc'd for 10 months using cheapy OPKs but could never get a positive and was starting to think I wasn't ovulating, so I found the CB fertility monitor really useful. The sticks are expensive but will sell my monitor on eBay once I get my BFP (note the PMA ) which hopefully won't take too long.

lexie welcome to the thread bu sorry you are here. I have gone mad at DH's drinking at times, but mainly convinced him to stop sitting with laptop on his lap in front of tv (hot battery nuking the swimmers ). He has taken up fell running in the last year, so now worrying that he is freezing them on long runs

oh chocolate i never thought about the laptop thing! i might have to but a desk haha!!!

hi lex hope you are getting on ok x

Lexi - hi. Sorry you are here too. I have also been on at DH about cutting out the alcohol. And am doing the same myself! I know they say it doesn't make a difference, but just want to be doing everything I possibly can. We shall see.....

Hi lexi and welcome. Batty is ok I reckon! Obsession is a given also common with ttc, esp after mc, so just go with batty for a while. I don't worry too much about OH's eating or drinking at the mo, I go wish he'd exercise more- but more for his own health. Biggest issue for us is dtd enough and without too much pressure, and I can understand why he feels that.

yorkie I'm far from expert with opks too, but I reckon keep going, be consistent as you can with timings etc and make a note of what it does. I bet you get another smiley at a later time and it was just a wobble? I got a positive on a cheapy yesterday afternoon, two hours later there was nothing there at all. And this was on CD22 of what used to be 29 dayish cycles.

Hi everyone, sorry to see the newcomers here (but welcome too). Were you on the July thread too, ArkadyRose?

Yorkie, I don't think the lines on a CBD OPK reflect your hormone levels, so I'd think you perhaps were having an lh surge. But that doesn't mean you ovulated (cycles after mc being messy often) so I reckon you should keep trying.

I am still waiting for my period. I am crampy and feel pressure etc, and I think I ovulated 2 weeks ago, but no period just yet. Wish it would hurry up, I have been crampy for 5 days now. Don't think I am pg, but would like to know for sure...

And I'm cross and grumpy. And also I don't give a shit about Kate Middletons baby or Kim Kardashians baby or anyone bloody else's baby. Which probably makes me mean, but I don't care. So there. (Tantrum)

Sorry not to write more to everyone, but I am on my ipad again and it drives me mad!

Hi lexi don't worry think all TTC people are a little bit nuts! have banned my fella from going in the Jacuzzi when I am ovulating. We are off to a spa weekend in Feb. The next time we are allowed to try!! Hoping he wont rebel.

Hi notspartacus know what you mean about middletons baby. Found out she was pregnant just as I was realising mine was going wrong so now can't stand hearing anything about it. Now its gonna be babies this and babies that everywhere. Its only gonna get worse as she starts to show. I just hope that we are all up the duff before she has it it so it isn't so tough to take!