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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

TTC after recent mc - thread 3. Handholding, naff jokes and the infamous Laura Ashley skirt.

975 replies

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 13/12/2012 10:09

Happy new thread! Here's hoping for lots of Christmas and new year bfp's, and long healthy pregnancies for everyone. Smile

OP posts:
yorkiebilb · 10/01/2013 10:43

Can I ask a question? I'm having my first AF since my mmc. My normal AF lasts 5 days and starts getting lighter by the 4th day. I'm on my 5th day and it doesn't seem to be getting lighter. Just wondered if others had longer periods after their mc and does that impact on length of cycle, ovulation etc. any advice would be much appreciated! Thanks.

Bakingtins · 10/01/2013 12:35

diyqueen that's a good way to look at it. I wouldn't swap lives and I am making a point of counting my blessings, I just want some of their successful baby-making ability.

Bakingtins · 10/01/2013 12:36

yorkie my first period was heavier and longer, since then have gone back to normal. I think there is a bit of post-MC clear out going on. Cycles (apart from the one immediately post MC) have been normal length.

diyqueen · 10/01/2013 12:51

I know bakingtins, some people do just seem to pop out babies without a care in the world. When we were struggling to conceive dd (took 18 months) I actually felt rage watching those tv programmes with hopeless women with 8 kids going 'I was on the pill but still got pg, what am I going to do with another baby?!' Hey ho. Hoping we'll all get what we want eventually, and that we all manage to hang onto our sanity in the meantime.

IBelieveInPink · 10/01/2013 12:56

yorkie yes, much heavier and longer. Boo. Hopefully it be over soon :(

charmaine10222 · 10/01/2013 12:59

Hello everyone

I am new to the thread. Hmm it is not a nice feeling. I never thought MC can be so cruel.

yorkiebilb · 10/01/2013 14:20

Thanks baking and pink. Does that mean I will ovulate later than normal? I really have no clue about these things!

yorkiebilb · 10/01/2013 14:24

Hi charmaine sorry to hear about your mc. Hope you've got lots of support around you at the moment. Everyone is lovely on here so you're in the right place.

chocolateteabag · 10/01/2013 15:08

Hi Charmaine - MC sucks doesn't it. But you are among friends here.

Yorkie I think my AF hasn't really got underway then, after a decent start yesterday morning, it seems to have tailed off to hardly anything today. Pre MC I'd have been thinking implantation bleed and getting all excited. Now I know that Mother Nature is an evil bitch and this is just her trying to give me false hope.

I caved last night and ordered a CB Fert monitor from ebay. If it works it will be worth it (and I'll sell it on anyway) and if it doesn't then I don't want to think about it!

Counting down to 4pm when I will be off for manicure and pamper.

Guest watch - last night tonight Grin having a big meal at home so feels like the final hurdle has been raised extra high! DH had a proper stroppy argument with SIL last night - it was like they'd both regressed to being teenagers again Hmm

Bakingtins · 10/01/2013 15:38

Hi Charmaine. Sorry you find yourself here - a club nobody wants to join even though we are all lovely!

Chocolate "Mother Nature is an evil bitch" surely that is the quote of the thread?!

charmaine10222 · 10/01/2013 15:53

Thanks girls. I have been looking for so many reasons but I know it could be anything. Massive was my shock when the nurse told us the baby don't have a heart beat, but then to go on and say it was twins. That was double the shock.

Now I am just taking it slow and waiting for it all to start over. Fingers cross for all of us for a healthy pg. xx

diyqueen · 10/01/2013 16:45

Sorry you find yourself here too charmaine, wow that must have been a shock. Sometimes I wish I knew the reason too, not sure why it would help but I'm the kind of person who likes knowing things!

I have very mixed feelings today, found out my best friend is pregnant, am obviously over the moon for her but sad thinking our babies would have been born just a few weeks apart, and how lovely that would have been. Now I probably won't even be pg again til after her baby has been born (if conceiving takes as long as the last two times) I know it's not a race or anything but...

yorkiebilb · 10/01/2013 17:30

chocolate I have been reading up on it this afternoon, whilst working very hard in the office of course, and your first af can be heavy or light and will probably be nothing like your normal af. If you don't mind me asking how much was the CB fert monitor as I am considering investing as well? I agree, sod the cost if it is worth it! Oh and think the next thread should be titled 'mother nature is an evil b!tch'!!

diy I have found out 4 of my friends are pregnant since the mc - it just seems horribly unfair and I cried (in private) when told about each one. It's completely understandable to feel that way esp. when it is your best friend and at a similar time. Hope you're okay.

charmaine10222 · 10/01/2013 21:09

Thanks DIYQUEEN.

It just feels so unreal. You just get use to being pregnant then you are not. I am very hopeful that we will have a easy pregnancy next time.

I am also one of those people that need to know the answers. Smile Suppose everyday is a school day or so they say.

I just hate it when family and friends tell me it happened for a reason and it will be the best in the long run. What possible reason can there be to justify this? Anyways enough ranting for one night

Sleep tight Smile

chocolateteabag · 10/01/2013 21:20

Yorkie - I got a buy it now one for £45 plus £3 postage and then ordered some sticks separately. There are ones starting for 99p but I think around £40 is the going rate and I was in an impatient mood. I sold my last one for £40 ish last time

chocolateteabag · 10/01/2013 21:25

Charmaine - I keep trying to think of worse situations like losing one later on or soon after birth. Not that you don't feel bad now, but I think that would be even worse and maybe that is what Mother Nature has spared us from (she's still a fucking bitch though)
That helps me when I get a sad thought.

It's still shit though

JanieLovesHerThreeLeggedCat · 10/01/2013 21:34

hi charmaine sorry to see you here but we're all in the same boat so feel free to rant away as much as you need to. i remember reading a different thread about the annoying things that people say when you suffer a mc... the best one maybe being 'well at least you know you can get pregnant' aaarrrgggghhhhh!!

i was in the same boat as you in that i was also expecting twins. i found out before my mc and had pictured two little babies and even googled twin prams and moses baskets hope you have a good support network in the real world xx

diyqueen · 10/01/2013 22:18

Thanks yorkie, I'm ok really, my friend really deserves some good luck too, it was just I was so hoping we'd get pg close together. I don't dare hope I might get pg again soon as that way lies craziness - I'm going to tell myself it will take a year to conceive again to take the pressure off.

charmaine, I know what you mean about just getting used to being pregnant, I couldn't believe my luck and felt on top of the world. You start imagining how your life is going to be with that baby.

chocolate, that's a good way of looking at it - but makes me very sad too for all those who lose a baby at a much later stage. You are so right about Mother Nature. Did anyone see that Africa programme the other day with the baby elephant who died? Floods of tears here, I blame the stupid hormones....

Right, off to think positive thoughts about this bloody bleeding stopping, it's been 4 weeks, enough already!

charmaine10222 · 11/01/2013 09:13

You just got to love the "atleast you k know you are very fertile" Confused lol. Or the family that just blank you.(because they don't know what to say )

I completely agree with the whole "rather sooner than later" theory. It must be killing people to have and to hold their babies and then to loose thenHmm

I find it really difficult to talk to people around me about my feelings but it is very reassuring with so many people here in the same boat and so many success stories as well.

FeministInTraining · 11/01/2013 09:16

Morning ladies, newbie here. Wish we didn't have to go through this crap and I am so sorry for your losses. On the positive side I have been -stalking- reading through the entire thread since yesterday and you all seem so lovely I want to be part of the gang!

MC'd on Wednesday at work (horrendous cramps started during last lesson teaching a class of teenagers). Day before had been at EPAU having blood tests (low hormones, expect the worst) and scan (there's a heartbeat it all looks fine). Was supposed to be 8 weeks but scan said 6 and apparently what looks like a heartbeat could be a membrane. Scan yesterday showed it was a complete MC, advised to wait for AF before starting again but in the words of IBIP pah to that! DP luckily feels the same, still in shock that we managed to get a BFP so quickly in the first place so just want the world to stop falling out of me so I can get back on with it!

Been following chocolate and yorkie as I read your posts after MC and they summed up how I felt (and I was enjoying the guest updates!), sorry there was no BFP straight away, I am -stupidly- quietly hoping for just that. Hope chocolates AF is sorting itself out, they say it's normal to have a weird first one but that can't make it any less frustrating.

DIY I loved your point about not wanting to swap lives with others, this has been the crappiest week ever but it has highlighted how lucky I am to have supportive people around me- and defo confirmed that DP is a very lovely man, he's been my rock along with my mum and best friend who has been TTC for longer than me but was still so happy for me even though I knew it was difficult for her. Defo wouldn't want to swap my life, been counting my blessings- and finding this thread has made me feel much better.

I hope 2013 brings many BFPs and healthy pregnancies for us all, sorry for the long message this is my third day off work this week and am laying in bed doing this to take my mind off of feeling sorry for myself! Xx

FeministInTraining · 11/01/2013 09:26

charmaine I find the fertile comment really difficult- because on one hand I agree with it (I have irregular cycles and DP has some issues meaning we sometimes use pots and syringes) so was expecting a looong TTC journey before BFP so in a way I am relieved that I can conceive. However, doesn't help if I'm fertile but can't hold on to a baby- my aim is to have a baby, not just get pregnant Hmm.

I second the success stories comment- I like reading the posts from BFP ladies it gives me hope that there's light at the end of the tunnel!

charmaine10222 · 11/01/2013 09:32

Hi Fem

I keep on thinking, this is a terrible thing to happen, but it could be worst. I suppose that is how we get through this Smile. Welcome aboard

Thunderthunderthundercats · 11/01/2013 09:34

Hi fem and char, so sorry about your mcs- they both sound so awful (of course- all mcs are awful), so it's great that you can find some comfort here.

Writing this on app so can't look back at comments, but to best friends getting pg at a similar time- ouch!

Got to dash to meeting but wanted to check in, send some happy Friday vibes and ask who's next for bfp?

charmaine10222 · 11/01/2013 11:10

Hi Thunder

We are all in the same boat here. Big hugs to all. Smile

CoffeeForSally · 11/01/2013 11:56

Hi fem and char, so sorry for your losses.

I definitely know what you mean about thinking "it could be worse". I don't know how I would have coped if I'd been further along. 13 weeks was bad enough, I'm only just about back to reasonably acceptable levels of hormonal weirdness.

Ouch on the tactless comments. I haven't had anything bad, but probably only because very few people know. I have, however, reacted VERY BADLY to people asking me "so, when are you two going to be having babies then?" I hate that question. I don't know why people ask, I can't imagine anybody wanting to be asked that no matter what the answer is.

CD7, so nothing exciting going on here. Bad cold and EXHAUSTED, thank god it's Friday.