Mumalah, thanks. I have posted to say I have left and that a thread which precludes any frank talking is not for me. I just wish I had kept schtum. They are right - that thread is for support, not quoting statistics! This is what I wrote:
'XXX, you mustn't leave the thread for this is the place to dream. A GP surgery, however, is the place for some straight talking, and I feel your doctor - who is not a fertility expert - is being very unfair in raising your hopes for another baby. I think she is irresponsible to bolster your dreams when you have suffered three miscarriages in the past two years. I wonder when she will offer to help you address giving up ttc. Next year? When you are 48? 49? 50?
I know I must come across as a damp squib with my quoting of statistics and words of caution, however, I feel strongly that it is grossly unfair to newbies to paint a rosy picture of ttc in our forties. Most people who come to this thread leave disappointed. Everyone is miscarrying. Nobody is enjoying the experience. It is fraught with anguish, despite the giggles we still have on here. I refuse to draw a veil over what is actually turning out to be a years-long journey of disappointment for some women who should be enjoying their mid-forties with their already-established families. I particularly feel cross at any GP who would not help a woman recognise what her body is trying to tell her at 46 after suffering three miscarriages in the past two years.'
This is what someone else wrote:
'golden I think the point is that you have confessed to a lot of things yourself that indicate confusion, obsession, questionable judgement. We could really go to town on all your inconstistencies cause they are glaring (not that you're not v likeable!). But we are nothing but supportive of you as we are of everyone here - mothers come in all shapes, sizes, ages and stages of development. We have cheered you on through very deep lows as we believe in you.
It's a failure on your part to project yourself into other people's shoes to start listing stats for women who are older than you.
I must admit I was tossing and turning a little last night at your frank outburst and wondering how older ladies would feel upon reading it. It's just not what this thread is about.
xxx'
I am fucking rotten 