Elderberry Pavlovas Unite - the over 30s TTC number 1 (thread 2)

[Bunnygirlie]

Ladies, Time for a new thread for us oldies (well not that old) TTC number 1 and our MN friends who have their BFP but are still coming along for the ride :-)

bunnygirlie, 32, TTC since June, AF due end Nov
Winkle, ttc 15 months, BFP due 19/11
Zombies, ttc 2 cycles, erratic cycle, PCOS. Next POAS not before 15 December.
Pipbin, ttc 15 cycles, BFP due 27/11
BraveLilBear TTC cycle 1 after early mc, BFP due 18/11

Aquarius, 32, ttc 8 mths, bfp due mid dec
Happylass TTC cycle 3 BFP due 8/12
Janey, 38, six weeks pg
Rach, 34, PG 7+5. Booking appointment on Wednesday.
Quod, 33, six weeks pg
HazleNutt 8 weeks pg

Sorry if I missed anyone :-)

Thanks Quodlibet and Rache for the information! I will look at Fertility Friend. It´s just that every other day is not working for me and putting too much pressure on my partner then me getting angry if he doesn´t want to do it right that moment! lol. I guess I want to take the pressure off us both and try and relax a bit. Pipbin, I know exactly what you mean about wanting to tell your friend. I had it romanticised in my head that I would be that far along when my Mum came here for Xmas and we could share the news with her and DP family. Then obviously you feel very down when AF comes. It is definitely stressful ttc. So for all of us on this journey and those that have already got their BFPs!!

Evening all. Just been out for nice meal, ate potato which my IBS doesn't like, now have huge potato baby belly - wish it was a real baby belly :-(

Hi bunny I know that feeling it'll be our turn soon so it will...

If that's any consolation I kept reading other bfps and thought it would never be my turn!!!! Everyone's times will come. I know it. But the pain in the process is quite cruel

Look how many BFPs we have already, sure it will be your turn soon!

I have my 12-week scan on 6th and of course I've been googling all possible problems and issues they might discover. Not really smart, I know, but you can't really help it, can you?

Step away from Dr Google Hazle There's more than a 75% chance that everything will be okay! (I think, basic maths)

It's really important to not dwell on possible bad outcomes. Unfortunately, they do happen. But most people do go on to have perfect healthy babies. I keep telling myself this, as my previous experience keeps threatening to overshadow all the hope and optimism and joy.

Don't be sad Aquarius and BunnyGirlie everything happens when it is supposed to. Sometimes, this is different to when we want things to happen, but some other things that we don't know about may need to happen first.

I know it's easy for me to say that, and feel free to throw your full glasses of at me along with all your smelly cheeses tho why you'd be throwing them rather than eating/drinking them is beyond me but your time will be here before you know it.

Re the complicated planning system Quod, basically, it's so that we can afford childcare. We both work, and earn a similar amount (me slightly more). There's no way we can afford to have two in full-time childcare at once, so we need one to be at school before number two pops out.

Tho since writing that it occurred to me that I think they don't take the younger kids until January in our neck of the woods I know some kids are not mature enough but they managed fine enough in our day!

Aquarius and Bunny I know the feeling too - I had 2 years of waiting to conceive on top of 9 months of actually TTC! It can feel like it'll never be your turn but it will one day and that will feel brilliant and surreal at the same time!

I am shattered already - we had to pack up our whole flat this morning by 10am so that new carpets could be fitted. Ready to go back to bed! Off for a tour of the local hospital's birth centre in a bit - I will have to try to stay awake!

Escorpion - I started temping In Sept, but as I gett up at 5:30 in the week, and up to 4 hrs later on the weekends the temps were a bit messed up. Plus I found taking my temp whilst still in bed with Dh sleeping in the dark next to me too much of a faff for my early morning brain to cope with!
I bought myself a cbfm, which is a bit pricey, but hopefully will prove worth it! I know that it is unrealistic for DH and me to dtd every other night on a long term basis, so pinpointing a rough time for ovulation is important for me. Having said all that, early morning brain couldn't even cope with remembering to wee on the stick yesterday am, and no amount of poking myself in the bladder after would help rectify the situation! Hopefully it will soon turn to habit...

Which all reminds me, I'm taking follic acid most days now. Is there anything else I should be taking/ avoiding? Cheers.

Hey MeanMrsM I'm sure you'll get into the habit soon - you're right about the early morning faff, I could never cope with that!

When I saw doctor after previous early mc, I asked him about a shoulder problem I'd been having. He said it's best not to take anything at all when TTC, paracetamol is ok, but everything else should be avoided if possible. He said using a topical ibuprofen gel would be fine instead of taking ibuprofen orally.

Soooo if you're taking any medication might be worth having a chat with doc early on.

Also, I took/am taking prenatals rather than just folic acid - has lots of goodies like Vit C, B vits, Vit D, Iron, Magnesium etc in it as well as the recommended amount of FA. I know some people don't like taking iron, but it's not a huge dose so I'm tolerating it ok.

brave and hazle - by the time you get to the 12 week scan the chances of everything being OK are much, much higher than 75% - especially as you've already had healthy, normal scans hazle. Even at my great age (38!!) there's 'only' a one in 150 chance of downs or any other genetic abnormality (and it's much lower odds if your a year or two younger than me) - which I'm trying to think of as a 99.33% chance of everything being fine. As you're younger, your odds are better

bunny - know nothing I can say can cheer you. So instead I will send - and lots of it - and some positive thoughts too that it's your turn soon.

Thanks for the stattage Janey I hadn't remembered that Hazle had had previous scans.... Took the 75% as a basic 1-in-4 chance of mc in any pg... obviously the odds will be diff (better) by the time you get as far as 12 weeks (as most mcs will have happened spontaneously by then), and if you've heard a heartbeat by then the chances of anything going wrong are teeny tiny.

Bottom-line - most pregnancies produce happy healthy babies! Thanks again for reassurance Janey

Yes Brave I had a scan at 8 weeks, looked fine, heartbeat and all. So not so much concerned that there's nothing there, but the nuchal scan and genetic problems.

Ah, just call me statto. I'm a right old numbers geek

Evening all. 8dpo here at moll towers. Symptom spotting like mad - tricky since almost all early pg symptoms seem to be exactly the same as my usual pms list..
Think I'm going to try and hold of Poas til Sunday as that will be 12dpo and a day late(ish) for my usual(ish) AF. Assuming she doesn't ruin all my plans by turning up before then..

How are all the other 2ww-ers? Fx for us all!

Thanks brave I will by a fertility multi vit at the weekend. If that ever comes. Its one of those weeks right now.
Im impressed by your organised thing re child care. It is soo expensive. We've discussed prices for one but not two. I know to have a 3 yr old and a 1 yr old 8-6 5 days a week in my local children's centre costs £40 less than my take home wage. Plus their prices are likely to go up and my wages arent! No idea about where you live, but often if reception start is staggered so the child starts the term of their 5th birthday, they spend the previous term full term in nursery. Might help slightly!

I haven't even looked at childcare costs. I am in complete denial that these things will cost roughly the same as a new car every year

And the birth is not happening either!!!

Oh, I can help a bit. I'm a reception teacher.
The last two years we have taken children on to full time school in the school year that they turn 5. Therefore if your child would turn 5 this coming August, then they would have started school this September.

However children are not compulsory school age until the term after they turn 5.

Oh and Rache. I'm with you. I've not looked into costs really, if we all waited until we could afford it then no one would have children.

Me neither. Or the fact that maternity pay is crap. Not thinking of any of those things. Otherwise would not ttc.
Today I was at a conference (I'm a bank manager) and one of the speakers said they did this research and asked people what's the ideal amount of money would like to have and the answer is almost always "a little bit more", no matter how much you earn!!!! So I could do with a little bit more to afford child care

Bunnygirlie is still waiting.....

(thanks for all the lovely words ladies)

Hello all, sorry you're out Pip but I've got everything crossed for next month for you.

It has been a bit of a crappy week here, turns out we need to move GPs and therefore midwife groups as since we moved we're now outside the catchment area for the GPs we've been going to for years. Nobody rang to tell me this though so my already arranged booking in appointment consisted of a disinterested midwife saying she didn't really want to see me as I needed to move areas but since I was there she'd do the form. Which she did, at breakneck speed and then summarily turfed me out and told me to find a new GP. I had no chance to ask questions, didn't really get any information and felt a bit like I'd been chewed up and spat out by the NHS. Which naturally, given my hormonal state resulted in tears.

That's rubbish purple. How many weeks are you?
I felt like crying just reading your post. I'm not hormonal either

Oh Purple that's horrid! What a callous way to treat someone. I'm not surprised you were upset. Was DP there with you?

So my DP (who has been away a lot) mentioned when I was in the shower yesterday that I have changed shape around the middle. I seem to have laid down some padding around the back as well as getting a bit of a pot-belly. I'm only 8 weeks and have been eating really healthily so it seems weird to me that I'm changing shape already - had anyone else noticed this??

Yes! Waistline is definitely disappearing, I'm starting to look like a barrel. DH would not dare to mention it though

Haha! Glad your DH has a little more space between brain and mouth than mine. I'm quite surprised that it actually does bother me a bit, I thought I'd be fine with the wonders of changing shape - just didn't really expect it so early and I don't think I really thought through the fact that there's a stage between 'normal size' and 'obviously pregnant' in which you just look a bit blobby!