TTC 10+ months, Part 11

[buzzybee123]

A very friendly and supportive thread for those taking way longer than they had ever expected to make a baby.

[sarlat]

Heart - delighted the bleeding has stopped. I think no symptoms is very normal. Good luck for the next scan.

Becky - that is great to hear - congratulations.

I am overwhelmed by how everyone has rushed to my aid. I can't thank you enough and it HAS helped. I think I am just emotionaly tired. I have tried most tricks in the book on this journey, alternative medicine, western medicine, peer support, reflexologist acting as counsellor, trying to be positive, trying the 'don't give a shit' attitude. Feels like I am running out of ideas. Like all of us here, its the crippling feeling of not knowing how this will end that is most agonising. It is so cruel and unfair. And the more time marches on, the more I fear it is not meant to be.

But your kind words have given me strength and hope. Chum has suggested to me that I need to moan more on a daily basis . Don't get me wrong, I am no saint but I tend to be a 'smooth things over' type person which he thinks doesn't always address the way I really feel. I may also look in to life coaching and I have booked extra sessions with my lovely reflex lady. Heart - you are right, there is still so much confusion over my tubes. This can not be helping. I swing between being terrified of them being grossly damaged to thinking they are not that bad which in theory would put us in the unexplained catagory. Maybe the Dr's should have focused on the lap to start with to clarify the situation and for the sake of my psychological well being. I don't think the way my hospital has dealt with me has helped at all. Aside from all the clinical errors they have (nearly) made, do you know I haven't had one appointment letter that has been accurate. They usually send an appointment out, then change it or send me a second appointment for a week later so I never know which one to go to. Or they send me one with the wrong Dr or whatever. The admin side shouldn't and doesn't tip me over the edge, but they never ever seem to get anything right. And I am not a perfectionist so by no means expect things to be amazing.

Ok, I will stop jabbering on and no need to reply, having a clear out me thinks. Thank you again Ladies. Sarlat will keep going.

[ThatWayMadnessLies]

Well, I am officially delurking after more than a year. After being on the first thread and mumsnetting for about a year I needed to step away from the Internet to preserve my sanity. Now, 2.5 years in, I think that it would be nice to have some ladies to chat to again. My real life friends who were going through fertility treatment have all now had babies or adopted children and I'm feeling a bit adrift. Harping on about it to them seems selfish somehow.... I hope no one minds me butting back in .

It's wonderful to see that there have been so many successes since I was last here and to see that lots of the original posters have at least moved forward with treatments and investigations.

As for me, I have had a very long year but feel that we are finally turning a corner. I think that it was your posts sar that inspired me to write again. I am about to have a laparoscopy in a few weeks and whether or not surgery is the right option isn't clear but I know that for my own mental health I really need to know what the hell is going on in there so that I can make some informed decisions for a change.

I was scheduled for a laparoscopy a year ago to diagnose suspected endometriosis but unfortunately that plan was derailed when I became really sick and was hospitalised with a suspected ruptured appendix. Ended up having an emergency op in the middle of the night which revealed a Fallopian tube abscess. Emerg surgery means that it wasn't a gynae who did the op so there were no notes about anything apart from abscess and no biopsies taken to confirm endo diagnosis. Fast forward a year and I have had several ultrasounds, an MRI which apparently showed extensive endo and a distended right Fallopian tube, including 6-7cm cysts on both ovaries, and a very embarrassing camera up the bum to rule out endo having affected the colon extensively.....

We are now on the ivf waiting list and heading for surgery in about 5 weeks. Expecting surgery to include removal of at least one tube and terrified that both will be blocked with either fluid or scar tissue. So pleased to be moving forward at last and trying to stay positive.

Apologies for the massive me me me post. Next time I will throw myself in to name checking and catching up on what everyone has been up to .

[sarlat]

That way - pleased to meet you. Do you know, maybe things happen for a reason. Maybe my recent crazy posts were 'meant to be' if it triggered you to re-join. I think you do need someone to talk to - and I'm glad you chose us.

I am so sorry to hear about all you have gone through. You have dealt with general health issues as well as fertility health issues. The emergency op musy have been very frightening. We can do the lap journey together and then collect out lap medal of honour from Rabbit (a lovely lady on here). Do you have symptoms of endo? And do you mind me asking if you have pain or symptoms directly linked to your damaged tubes? I am told I have a hydrosalpinx based on HSG although not evident on ultrasound scans. So it could also be peritubal adhesions (outside but blocking the tube). I have no symptoms or pain at all and no history of PID or endo. But I guess all will be revealed at the lap.

I think your lap will help you make a better plan for proceeding with TTC. I know that is an easy thing to say. I find it difficult to listen to my own advice however. It's great that you are staying positive.

[ThatWayMadnessLies]

Pleased to meet you too sar .

I have heavy and painful periods which I'm guessing is the endo. They think a hydrosalpinx for me too based on MRI scan. I had no history of pid before the abscess either but they made me do all of the sti tests anyway which makes you feel pretty horrible when you're at a low ebb in hospital but I don't suppose they can take my word for it that I'm a good girl and my husband isn't the philandering type!!!

I had really sharp pains on the side where the abscess was and the hydrosalpinx is now but they went away after surgery. Worryingly I've started having a few twinges now on the left side..... I don't think many people have pain from blocked tubes do they? My consultant says that the hydrosalpinx would have to come out before ivf because leaving it in halves your chances of success . Has anyone talked to you about that?

Off to airport to collect dh after a weekend spent with his parents. For once I was given a reprieve

[rabbitonthemoon]

It is cuntryfile time, my best mumsnet hello saying time. I have just eaten a chicken and leek pie I did for me and Hare (another Jamie but this time no fibs about how LNG it would take). We have made good headway with the Not Nursery this weekend, it is ready now to be painted and done. I admit to it making us both rather.. Thoughtful. We would both love that to be what we are planning and its been hard to rip out stuff and think about the shape of things without having that in the back of our heads. Ah well. I'm spotting today and my temp fell so cd1 should be here in the next day or two. For maybe the first time ever since ttc I haven't cried. I have invested no faith in this cycle as its felt time to get a grip and accept I'm going to need a bit of technical assistance! Bah humbug.

nelly good luck with the jabs and I hope the headache stays away. You wrote lovely sense making things.

becks come back and tell me what you did with the bicarb! I'm so glad you are so far along and doing well, good to see you.

madness can't believe it's been a year since you posted! Goddamn where is the time going. I'm so sorry to hear about what you've been through - did the appendix mess things about maybe? Such a shame you had to go through that with a non gynae person. When is your lap? I'm sure it will shed insight into what is going on in there. Drs shouldn't assume that it's an sti that causes this as it could be anything. Stay here and we will hold your hand and keep you company in the Waiting Room.

joyce I feel it in my bones that my eggs are fooked. I can't think what else it could be really. But I'm sure we have some hanging on that have a good use by date! The one egg a month thing is somewhat problematic in terms of reproduction!

heart so so glad the bleeding has stopped. Two of my close friends had no symptoms at all, whatsoever. One is heavily pregnant and still has none except a big old bump and kicks! The other was the same and surprised at the scan that there was actually something in there. Do let us know that your scan was ok, but I have a good feeling that all will be well.

sar keep going. There is a plan of action to focus on now and plenty of time for ironic diffs. Hope you've had a good Sunday.

Waves to the rent of the gang. Thank you euro for the Reece's cupcake suggestion. I scoffed three of them today. They are not especially in my ttc eating ways of making everything from fresh - but so tasty! I'm going to make my own recipe. I'm not even going to put maca in!

[sarlat]

That way - yes they have talked about hydro tube coming out to help ivf success. But they are not entirely sure if I do have a hydro. It depends which Dr I speak to. Some Dr's think both my tubes need to come out. Which makes me cry. One of them has said she is "not suspicious of my tubes". Therefore I proceeded to IVF this April a bit confused and just hoped for the best. I have had 1 fresh cycle and one FET, both BFN.

Its all a bit complicated (and to be honest the account of events I give depends on my emotional outlook and pessimism levels of the time). The HSG showed a large and perfectly circular mass at the end of the right tube. The diagnosis is small hydrosalpinx with peritubal adhesions. But the diagosis is not definate as the hydro is never present on scans. The lap will confirm I guess either way. I am hoping it is perituabl adhesions only (where the dye pools in scar tissue at the end of the tube rather than in the tube). But that is wishful thinking I know. The op will be to remove adhesions and try and open / repair the tube. But it may just close up again anyway. Or, I may wake up to be told the tube needs to be removed if it is badly swollen and diseased.

I think some people get pain with a hydro but not always. I know the websites also talk about a strange discharge which often happens with a hydro. But I get frustrated that they don't describe what this might look like. For all I know, I could have had a hydro discharge for years but just never realised.

Will the ovarian cysts be straight forward to fix during the lap? I understand your fear about tubal removal. I really hope they will just remove one in your case. I know how psycologically distrsessing it is to go in to an op not knowing if your organs may or may not have been removed when you wake up. Having said all that, I don't wish to make either of us feel bad. We need to think positive. The truth is, there is lots of hope for people with tubal problems at the end of all the surgery and upset. We have to keep believing.

Nelly - good luck with the jabbing and thank you so much for your kind words. You are one very special lady! I'm glad you have had a few sneaky drinks and been playing the relaxation cds. The weekend away to reduce stress sounds idea. I need to take a leaf out of your book.

Rabbit - oooo the pie sounds yum and peanut butter cups are the perfect pudding. Im sorry the old witch is on her bloody merry way. I am glad that you feel ok about moving on to assisted conception but you may want to consider giving yourself a sensible timeframe to continue ttc naturally first based on last months BFP. Basically I think you have options. Thank you for being a super friend!

Hello to everyone else. Hope you all had a good weekend. Special good luck to the IVFerz and will look out for scan results and egg collection stories this week. Thinking of you all. Sorry for hogging the thread this weekend. x

[ArtemisTheHunter]

Sar I'm sorry you're feeling low. Have a hug and a hand-hold and some of this posh praline ice-cream I'm scoffing out of unfettered greed for its protein content. As for whether it's possible to feel OK again, I think it is (at least I hope so), but the kind of OK you reach will be different to how it was before. The only thing I have to compare to TTC is a major bereavement which knocked me for six for several years. Nine years on I have learnt that time does heal, but life will never be the same as before and I am not the same person i was. TTC is different because of the constant uncertainty - there is no single event to deal with and process, and in a way we are all grieving for the life we wanted and can't (yet) have. But there is much in your favour. As Rabbit says, babies show up in all sorts of unexpected ways. I believe that you will have yours.

Madness welcome back to the thread. You really have been through the mill, it sounds very traumatic. I feel for you ladies with tubal problems, there never seem to be any clear cut answers or even any clear cut plan for investigations or potential treatment. Being unexplained is crap but at least I have been spared the trauma of repeated surgery. I don't think the consultants have any real understanding of the impact all of that has on patients' mental health.

Nelly good luck with the jabbing. I came to the same conclusion as you - would rather do it myself than entrust the needles to Mr A. He'd have far too much fun. Hope you had a lovely weekend away! It's too late for me to answer the sex question but we weren't told to abstain once the cycle was under way, and given that my hormones have been comprehensively hijacked i can't see any reason why we would need to.

Buzzy hope you had a good time for Barry's birthday. Thanks for the info on the life coaching, it sounds really helpful. The counsellor we've seen at the hospital does it, I'm going to ask her about it next time.

Gin I certainly don't think you're a horrible bitch - or at least if you are, then so am I. Mr A has been whingeing about a joint problem he's had for months and that he doesn't help by continuing to do all the things the physio has told him not to do. And I know that 10 minutes after we get back from EC while i am feeling battered and bruised he'll be ensconced on the couch with a beer in one hand and an espresso in the other. Grr.

Frannie FX for your scan, I'm sure things will be fine. Everyone's symptoms are different so lack of explosive vomiting doesn't mean there is a problem!

Heart I'm glad your bleeding has stopped and have everything crossed for your scan too.

Joy I've had that experience too of walking through National Trust woodland and feeling like the only people who aren't a proper family. It knifes you in the heart doesn't it. But I reserve the right to be a bitter old cow until such a time as I too join the mummy brigade and will no doubt remain bitter and twisted even if that miracle happens. I do think Frannie is right and if we do become parents we'll be much more aware.

Rabbit the injections aren't bl**dy ones. I've done a sum total of 42 injections over the past 4 and a bit weeks and I have only drawn blood once, must have nicked a capillary, but it was only a tiny amount. They would be easy for Hare to do though, then you could just look away. I love your image of us all marching into the festive season together

Becks how could we forget the sodium bicarb lady! I'll be trying it myself if this IVF round doesn't work out. Glad to hear things are going well for you. I can't believe 29 weeks have gone by already though

Mellow did you test again? Hope you are starting to believe but I understand the anxieties! Thanks for the run-down on what you did and didn't do. The more stories i read, the more I think all of this is just down to luck .

Bubs congratulations to you and thanks for sharing your story, it's great to have these hopeful stories to cling to in the midst of all the stress.

Akuaba any news on the Beirut Five? Have you had any further scans? Sending you positive growth vibes. What stimming drug are you on? TBH I think my ovaries are doing some uncharacteristic showing off. Being northern and therefore tight I find their level of profligacy simply embarrassing, not to mention wasteful. I'd better have some eggs left inside me after all of this. You are probably right about the exercise. I do running etc for my sanity and to limit the size of my backside but a few weeks off after ET won't kill me. Logically it's probably not possible to shake an embryo loose but better not to take the risk.

My EC has now been put back to Tuesday because not enough of the follies had grown to the right size by yesterday morning. Apparently they need to be at least 17mm and most of mine were 15, with a few above and below, so they thought Tuesday would give the best chance of a decent number being ready. Like Akuaba i just want the feckers out now. My ovaries hurt. I have to do the trigger shot later this evening, so I'm missing a comedy gig that Mr A had booked tickets for in a male brain attempt to cheer me up. The trigger has to be kept in the fridge, but even if it didn't I just can't face doing any more injections in unknown toilets!

Sunday evening hugs and waves to everyone

[rabbitonthemoon]

art thanks for the blood reassurance! I couldn't really say where the phobia came from and feel a bit silly for talking about it on here! Suffice it to say, my ruptured hematoma this summer was distressing! Can you imagine if I do have a baby - it is not a blood free experience !!! I'm glad you're at home eating ice cream. Wishing you all the best for Tuesday. Is is like bad ovulation pain?

sar going to sleep not knowing if you'll wake up in tact was a crippling fear of mine this summer. I woke up shouting have I got a womb!? It was suggested at one point that I had another lap and if they saw the beast, operate there and then and if not sew me back up. I did not like this option. As it was he allegedly felt it that day so it was straight to big op. I couldn't imagine going in not knowing if I'd wake up needing 3 months off work or a few days. But, the fear of these ops and the implications of what gets found is, I think, almost always worse than what actually happens. If they can't see anything on a scan it does make me wonder if it has just worked itself out and got better of its own accord. No one can believe my fugitive vanished. Bodies are curious things.

[Cosmos1]

Hi all, had the 'rents here this w/e so no time to post properly, but just wanted to send huuuuuge hugs to Sar. Waiting for my lap was one of the hardest ttc stages ive had. I really do believe this will be a major turning point for you. Keep going one day at a time and it will be over before you know it.

[MuddyWellyNelly]

Hello ladies. Special hello to Madness, I've missed you . Sorry you've been through such hell though. Hand holding a plenty here.

So I did my first jab. Was ok (was a tiny bit of blood, sorry Rabbit ) but literally no more than a bleeding spot. Sounds glamorous huh . Did it myself but MrN stayed with me and held my hand metaphorically. And then gave me some technique advice from his days as a junkie . Not really (obviously, I hope) he used to have to take blood from people in a previous job. Anyway so far it's all ok.

In our nice hotel, had a nice dinner. Avoided booze but that was comedy as out of the 3 non alcoholic drinks I've ordered one was wrong when it came and 2 were unavailable. Should have stuck to wine .

[mrsmellow]

Lovely Sar I'm so sorry that you were feeling so rubbish - and I agree with your friend who says you need to moan more - you have not been dealt a kind hand and it is very confusing. Here in SA they don't do HSG - for the very reason that they don't want people to end up feeling as you do I think- that if you find a blockage you really want to deal with the problem asap. I'm hoping that your lap finds a sortable solution. In answer to your question. Both my tubes looked completely normal and dye went through the right normally. But despite much manipulation and fiddling from both ends, they couldn't force any through the left. I didn't have a hydrosalpinx. I now worry that some sperm went up the right and out and this will be an ectopic. But maybe the egg cleverly found its way down the left or even went on a journey to the right tube (I am a born traveller and never take the easy route ) . Fingers crossed - I guess it will declare itself - I will have a scan in two weeks to find out and worrying about it isn't going to change anything.
thatway welcome and you too have had a tough time, hope that your next lap is useful for you and your stay is short this time.

Hi to everyone else. I repeated a test yesterday and it was a definite quick positive so starting to believe in miracles.
Am away with work for a few days so will check in later in the week.

[rabbitonthemoon]

Oo it's v quiet on here which is unfortunate as Im bored in the office. Well done nelly on jab and mellow yay for darker lines.

[ArtemisTheHunter]

I'm bored in the office too Rabbit but I have a mountainous list of stuff to get through before tomorrow's EC, since tomorrow will be a write-off and I am looking forward to expecting to spend another day wilting about the house watching rubbish telly and feeling vague. Relieved to have finished with the injections.

Mellow hurrah for darker lines. I have discovered in my TTC travails travels that Fallopian tubes are surprisingly mobile buggers and a healthy tube can pick up an egg from either ovary. So hopefully that is what has happened in your case

Did anyone see this article in the Guardian by a woman who just had her first baby via FET at the age of 51 after two mcs and four failed goes at IVF? Clearly she is very very atypical but there is some thoughtful comment on older mothers and the tendency for clinics to want to rush people into IVF.

[Poutintrout]

Really quick post because Leonard is working from home and hogging the office/spare room. See one of the joys of no kiddywinks is being able to designate a bedroom as an office!

Anyways mrsm wow! I am so pleased I can't tell you. I am so glad to hear that you are getting quick positives now. Congratulations. ignores the fact that BFP's seem to happen when I go AWOL for a few days

Also bubs & becks congratulations to you too. I agree that it is very helpful to hear stories like yours, it gives me hope.

I am so sorry sar that you are feeling so low. I had the same thing. Family wedding and literally a honeymoon baby. I'm not going to lie, it hurt like hell and it really did knock me for six and sent me into a spiral of depression for a bit where I kept dwelling on the unfairness and the whole "why me" or "why not me" but you will come up again - I promise.
It is so difficult when there is no end in sight and so difficult when we keep slogging away with all these hospital appointments and treatments. I keep thinking how you are always taught that if you try hard enough at something you will get there in the end. It is a shock that it isn't the case with trying for a baby. I saw a programme where a lady had cancer and chemo which rendered her infertile and she said that the hardest thing for her wasn't the cancer but knowing that she wouldn't have kids. For me that spoke volumes about how bloody hard all this is. I do believe though that in time we will all have our babies or we will come to a point of acceptance. I believe that the human spirit is very resilient.
I have waffled I know. I'm not very good at words of comfort - I am sorry. I guess what I should simply have said is I am thinking of you and hoping for the resolution that we all justly deserve on here.

joycep Hearing about Roy really upset me. It is easy to forget how much pressure our other halves are under.

gin I am happy to see that the transfer went well. Now I am rooting for your little peas to shoot and bed in

rabbit Well done on the decorating. I too had the pangs of this should have been a nursery when we did up the second bedroom. It passes! Given that we are on the move again, that room was never going to be a nursery anyway! Life is a funny old thing.
I too am on the run up to AF. Nothing to suggest that it is anything but another bust cycle.

heart it's good to see you. I second the idea that there are plenty of ladies that sail though their pregnancy. Let us know how your scan goes?

buzzy I am quite envious of your coaching. It sounds like it has been really useful.
Cute Naughty kitty

Hi frannie I hope that your nephew is okay.

nelly and artemis Thank you for posting about your injecting. That is something that really screws with my head and it so comforting to read that it is actually okay.

Good luck tomorrow artemis

I have missed so many of you out but send lots of love. Off to knock out my bread...exciting times

[BerylThePerilous]

Hello all,
I haven?t posted on here in a few months, and I really hope you don?t mind me butting in. I wouldn?t feel comfortable posting anywhere else on MN though [shy]? Like others, I have been lurking and have been so cheered to hear about the run of autumn bfps. Congrats frannie, princess, heart and mrsm. And I?m also keeping everything crossed for those currently going through IVF. Please, please let this be your time, akuaba, artemis, gin and nelly.

I should probably reintroduce myself: ttc for 1.5 years, SA fine, normal FSH (7), but a rather meagre antral follicle count of 5 (I think the last time I posted here was when I got that bit of news), which prompted the consultant to send me off to get my AMH tested [ugh]. I had to wait 6 weeks for the result, which wasn?t fun, but a couple of weeks ago at our last appointment we got the not unexpected news that it is pretty low (2). This happened to coincide with my 35th birthday (you know the one, when everyone tells you your fertility has suddenly dropped exponentially ), so it wasn?t the best of times. We were advised to go straight to IVF ? ?no point in hanging around with your dodgy eggs?, being the underlying message ? and were put on the waiting list (about 6 months, they reckon).

But yesterday morning I got two lines! And today I did the CB digital one and it said 2-3 weeks. Shocked doesn?t begin to describe it. And thrilled, obviously. But mainly worried. Exactly one year ago, we were in the same place and it lasted two days, before my period then arrived. (We are apparently only fertile in the month of November.) So I?m fully expecting this to go the same way . But it is sooo hard not to hope.

I?m also wondering what to do about telling the consultant/gp. What happens if you get a bfp whilst waiting for IVF? Does your funding get taken away/do you get bumped down the list, even if it ends pretty quickly in mc? If I weren?t concerned about that, I might ring them to ask about getting a blood test done to check for progesterone levels etc. Or is that something I could do privately without them knowing?? (You can see I?m not doing too well on the not-getting- my-hopes-up front.) Still, the main thing (which I keep telling myself) is that it shows that, even with my poor results, it?s not impossible. I had been feeling so low after my last appointment and had convinced myself that my eggs were fooked. If nothing else, this latest turn of events gives me some hope that that might not be (entirely) the case. I guess that?s really why I wanted to share my news here ? in case anyone else reading here has been feeling despondent after AMH/AFC results.
Apologies if this is all a bit me-me-me.

[princesschick]

Beryl wooohooo! What fab news! Of course you are remembered! Just to say I had a private progesterone test, your consultant need not know anything about it. I ticked a box to say that I didn't want them to pass on the details to my GP. I did the test for my own reassurance and didn't want any awkward questions or "that was entirely unnecessary" chats. It is a terrifying time especially when you've already gone through an MC, but as somewhere who has been there and is now 10 + 1 and inching ever closer to the "magical" 12 week mark, just take each day as it comes. There's nothing you can do now, apart from sit back and hope and take it easy.

Waves and hugs for everyone else - especially Sar - sorry you have been so down and Artemis all the very best of luck for tomorrow

[akuabadoll]

Just popping in quick after a few days away from the thread. T'was meltdown avoidance after reflecting on chat about long term TTC, I can't even remember 2.5 years in . So, there's a bad number to think about, then the doctor says he is not surprised about my poor result in numbers of eggs (so there's another bad number) due to my age (yep you guessed it, and another). In the process of this I missed your weekend posts sar I'm sorry. I haven't a clue how to deal with it all really but I guess my instinct is to try to change the way I look at something, taking a different view or perspective when something is not working for me. In TTC numbers I'm a bit of a hopeless case but it is what it is and I have plenty other drama at the moment (related to ever more tits up Tehran situation) which has called for non-statistical analysis and shouting. I'm here too for best wishes to Artemis good luck for tomorrow, I'm not too far behind you, booked for EC on Friday morning. Oh, Beryl I just saw. Amazing, well done. Would you GP have anything to do with IVF waiting lists? I don't know anything about how things work in the UK, I'm sure someone here will have an idea though.

[akuabadoll]

Oh and there's someone that has info and experience already, x-post princess

[BerylThePerilous]

Ahh, thanks, princess and akuaba. I've made an appointment for a private blood test, which feels a bit like I'm doing something... Shall look out for the box to tick about not telling the GP!

[EuroShagmore]

Afternoon all! I have so much to catch up on after a busy week last week.

mellow your friend's double pregnancy is amazing! Oh, and I've just read on and seen your BFP news! Hurrah. I believe that is what is known as an FCFU (a fertility clininc f* you!).

Hurrah for Beryl too! As others have said, you can definitely get the blood test done in a way the IVF clinic need never know about.

at the roach in rice story, joycep!

Nelly we've been together 9 years (since I was 27) Neither of us wanted kids when we got together. I changed my mind around 30 (cliché!) and it took him a bit longer. We eventually started trying just before I turned 35. I do occasionally wonder if things would have turned out differently with a 5 year head start.

I can't wait to see the dress!

Pout I'm glad your dog is ok.

freedom sorry to hear about your IUI result.

princess sorry to hear you are pukey, but I hope you are able to enjoy your hols anyway!

doll sorry about the bad numbers. It only takes one though.

Thanks for sharing your story bubs and congrats on your BFP! And thanks for popping back Becks - not long to go now! Welcome back Madness.

Rabbit I know what you mean. I've given up with Mr Euro and supplements. His packet seems to last the same length as about 6 of mine... And it's not like any of his Sas have been stellar, so there shouldn't be complacency on his part.

I'm glad the Reese's might help. At least they have so protein in the nut part. They are not all empty sugar. That makes them practically I health food, I think!

buzzy kayla sounds adorable. :) Your counselling sounds great. You sound very level headed about everything at the moment, which is astonishing after all that you have been through.

No news from me. I'm on day 17 I think. I'm pretty sure I ovulated on day 14. We timed dtd well, but at this point I don't hold out much hope each month.

[GinSoaked]

Yay beryl that's great news!! Wow so many bfps this autumn - mystic princess was right.

Good luck for tomorrow artemis! Hope you have some time off to recover afterwards and enjoy pottering around the house still spaced out by the EC drugs :) I did read the article about the 51 year old mother. I was initially jealous, but then saw how much treatment she'd been through and decided I was pleased for her.

I found it was 50/50 whether my jabs bled. But it was only a teeny tiny speck of blood. rabbit I suggest getting hare to do jabs and mop anything up, whilst you don't watch. Although personally I think you'll win a baybee without any ivf...

doll awww hugs re the long term ttc. It is all shit, but try not to be too down about this ivf cycle until you see how things go after EC. You never know.

Mmm bread pout. Sounds yummy. Are you house hunting at the mo? Whilst off, I've watched tonnes of property programmes, tonnes. It makes me want to find a cute cottage in the country.

sar hope you are feeling a bit better.

Welcome back madness

joy you are a long, long way from donor eggs.. You havent even had 1 go at ivf yet. I was reading about Gaby Logan, who was unexplained and got preggers with twins 1st ivf round. Hope Roy is still ok.

heart yay that the bleeding has stopped.

becks so pleased to hear all is still going well.

nellie hope you had a lovely break. We were told only protected sex pre EC and none after it. Tbh, once my ovaries were full to bursting, it hurt too much for any seching.

Waves to everyone else.

We had some good news today. The embie that was left in culture and was a 5 cell grade 2, made it to blastocyst and was frozen! The embryologist said this bodes well for the grade 1s on board, as long as my womble doesn't kill them (my words, not his). These embryos def seem to be much better quality than last time. Maybe dave's Proxeed did help after all... My mum will have to do my clexane shot for me tonight, as I'm sans Dave. They fecking hurt :(

Right off for some more Phil Spencer. Big luffs to all

[Cosmos1]

Have got my pom poms out and ra ra skirt on for Gin, Art and Doll - and cheering you all on madly from the sidelines. Keep going!

I always love a success story, keep them coming. Crikey its almost like a newbie thread on here at the moment.

Waves everyone else and bear hug to Roy.

[beckslovestimmy]

Hi rabbit for the bicarb mix 1tsp in a pint of luke warm water, give it all a stir and then use a large syringe to squirt it up your fanjo just before you DTD. The nurse suggested only doing this around ovulation. It neutralises the acidic mucous and thins it out? Definitely worth a try (very cheap!!!). P.S I did it in the bath as most if it comes back out straight away!

[ThatWayMadnessLies]

Evening all

sar my abscess was missed on two ultrasounds so I don't know how great they are at picking up these things. I think that we both need to see lap as a real positive step forward. I'm trying to cross the horrible bridges if and when I come to them for a change instead of spending the whole journey stressing about what might happen..... Cyst removal hopefully straightforward but some disagreement about whether it should be done at all before ivf because some ovarian tissue will inevitably be removed. Thankfully my endometriosis specialist is also my fertility doctor (I'm getting appointments in two different clinics with the same consultant) so I believe him when he says that the main goal of surgery will be to preserve fertility.

rabbit peanut butter cups are my absolute favourite. There are always some in my christmas stocking. In response to your question my appendix was never the problem. They just had no idea why I was so sick and the abscess was on that side so the pain was there. On the up side I can highly recommend iv morphine. My dh also says that I was lovely when high . Lap is on December 14th.

artemis thanks for the welcome. I do feel strangely comforted by the diagnosis but I think that's because it makes me feel like I can fix it. The problem will come if both tubes are removed and ivf fails. I have no idea how I would cope with that. At least now I have the hope of ironic bfps and miracles to cling on to. I hope that trigger shot went well. I am in awe of all you ladies injecting yourselves. nelly my dh has already informed me that he'll be coming nowhere near me with a needle, given how critical I can be when he tries to do things that don't involve the potential for pain and blood

mellow hang in there. We are all now experts at waiting!! You've got heaps of positive thoughts heading your way from here.

gin hooray for the successful news from the clinic. I shall keep my fingers firmly crossed for you.

beryl fantastic news!!!!! Well done for booking the test to put your mind at ease. My experience of the nhs is they don't communicate very well across clinics or departments so I'm sure you'll be fine. You can tick the box just to be sure.

Hello to everyone else. I'm off to Pilates so that when i finally get there my post pregnancy stomach will ultimately pop right back in place, just like all those celebrities in the magazines

[joycep]

oh my goodness, Beryl, this sounds bizarre and slightly dodgy but I was thinking of you last week and wondering how things were going. I am SO thrilled for you and it just shows that it can still happen even when results are fairly low. Really good that you have booked in for a private progesterone test. Honestly congratulations, your news has brought a big smile on my face.

And madness welcome back. I'm so sorry to hear what you have been going through.

Gin - your clever embies!! That's great news and really thrilling to have one in the freezer. How are you feeling, are you back and work and keeping yourself busy? And thanks Gin, I keep fearing my eggs are fucked with my super low amh but you're right i should really do ivf first. I didn't realise gabby logan did ivf.

Doll - that's great you have date for EC now.

Pout - i hve heard that before that one of the first things young people who are diagnosed with cancer ask is ''will i still be able to have kids'. They are more likely to say that first apparently rather than 'am i going to die'. And you are right that speaks volumes.

Art - Really best of luck tomorrow. Will be thinking of you.

Nelly - well done for doing the first injection. That is often the most difficult one.

Big waves to everyone.

So I had a 28 cycle (just) this month . One of my biggest frustrations has been my shortened cycle since my m/c so to reach day 28 is a huge milestone. It could have been the lap or it could be the antibiotics, I just hope my lovely clockwork 28/29 day cycle I use to have before ttc misery will return.