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Conception

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Just Shagging - JSers roll up for fred 12

999 replies

Kittenkatzen · 01/11/2012 14:03

Oh, the other fred filled up all of a sudden! Oh well here's a new one....(horse feel free to replace if you want to be fred starter, just didn't want everyone in limbo!)

Fred rules;

  1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
  2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
  3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
  4. Thou shalt share Wine and Brew with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo;

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.
Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.
Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce in other posters).
Viroid = This is you, dear poster. The reason for this is a closely guarded secret, known only to....er....well, nobody as far as we can tell!
POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit).
Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.
Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

The link to Part 11 is [[http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1553148-Just-Shagging-The-lazy-TTCers-heaven-this-is-Shaggers-Corner-Part-11 here]

The link to the latest grads thread is here

Happy shagging shaggers :o

OP posts:
BoyMeetsWorld · 05/11/2012 18:17

Lol what is it with men & bum love?? I asked DH about his fantasies - thought if we need to JS like bunnies we may as well spice it up a bit. The only one he appears to have (or will tell me!) involves the good ole misplaced deposits? That won't get us upduffed!!

MrsBri · 05/11/2012 18:27

My DH keeps saying he'd like to provide a misplaced deposit (excellent euphemism!). I keep turning him down!

Bloody men and bum love! Wouldn't want it up them though. Pah!

AndieMatrix · 05/11/2012 18:30

I don't know. My DP originally told me he wasn't I retested in bum love (been there, done that etc) but now we're settled it's quite obvious he would like to misplace some deposits! Men.

frogchops · 05/11/2012 19:16

Haha, I think they'd all love it. My DP doesn't insist on this but I know he'd go for it if given the green light, lol. He's attempted before when I was least expecting it. Lets just say, he's knows better than to try this again!!

frogchops · 05/11/2012 19:46

Hahahaha DP has just come home looking tired. He said 'babe when we go to bed tonight, can we just go to sleep please?' Heehee. Made me chuckle.

AndieMatrix · 05/11/2012 21:34

Babies. Babies everywhere! massively jealous of So happy for all my family and friends that are expecting or in the throes of new parenthood, would like to add my name to the list though.

sorry, just needed to get that out....bloody Facebook!

Redshoes56 · 05/11/2012 23:57

I am sitting at my desk late laughing like a fool - misplaced deposits! Dysons! I love it Grin

All is well here. No ERTD yet. Crossing fingers that she doesn't show, and if she does, that she doesn't show until at least Wednesday. Keep cycling, cycle!

Andie I only recently started feeling a bit terse at all the baby news and pics on Facebook. It's rather annoying, isn't it? The ones in Halloween costumes were cute, but if it isn't dressed like a banana or a monkey, keep it to yourself. Ugh.

frog you have done super well with initiating - fingers crossed for you now! Let the man sleep tonight. He's earned it.

frogchops · 06/11/2012 08:00

Ahh Red, who's side are you on? Lol
I did give him the night off, but maybe its cos really I knew that ov had passed, and my chance had gone anyway! Is it bad that I'm not really bothered how many times it happens between now and af? Or hopefully not af?!

wavesandsmiles · 06/11/2012 12:50

Hi all! Must admit, DH has confessed that he really isn't into the old bumlove thing, he was just shocked at the price of the conceive plus. (Phew!)

I literally jumped him last night. We were shattered after a load more work on the house and went to bed, reading our books. Lights went out and I thought I just didn't want to risk a chance, so I leapt on top of him, whipped off my vest and then he was well up for it. Doesn't take much with my DH I guess. And we didn't even get round to using the ridiculously expensive lube.

Chatting here is great - I think I'd be going up the wall obsessing about this if I didn't have somewhere to vent my woes and frustrations - thanks so much to you all Smile

AWomanCalledHorse · 06/11/2012 13:02

I much prefer misplaced deposits to the normal location, it just feels better (I don't have a foof like a cave, honest), although DH knowns we're not doing it any other way until we make a baby.

Arrrgh! Facebook babies. One of DH's friends was the first person ever to have a baby & we have fun seeing all the age inappropriate things they do (Visit to Santa at a few months old, Cbeebies live show at 8 months etc).
I put one picture of DS on my fb wall every other month & make sure that I have at least 2 wall posts between baby related shit.
The blog stfu parents is great, it takes all the worst in parenting on fb & puts it all together, many pictures of baby shit & graphic labour shots.

Hurrah for jumping waves!!

Is sex everyday better or worse than sex everyother day?

AndIfATenTonTruck · 06/11/2012 13:25

cd13 here and only managed two shags so far aaargh. Our issue is that we don't have bedroom doors due to work we have been doing on the house. And my dad is staying for a few days to help with the house.

Will have to jump DH tonight though otherwise we will be below EOD average.

AWomanCalledHorse · 06/11/2012 13:28

TenTon, I've just got your username!!!! Grin
Have you got another room with a door you can do it in?

Bearface · 06/11/2012 13:29

Crikey! What a turn the conversation has taken! But I suppose it isn't called 'JS' for nothing, eh?

Really no to misplaced deposits from me - it's made for one direction only I feel (the movement, not the band!), but I guess it's a personal thing.

I generally don't mind FB baby stuff - it's just that sometimes unfortunately the timing is not great and when I'm feeling a bit down there seems to be tonnes of the stuff on there and everyone seems to be upduffed, or maybe I just notice it more?

I agree with Waves about the chatting - thanks everyone. Smile

AndieMatrix · 06/11/2012 13:44

Bear I'm on your wavelength about Facebook. Most days I'm like "aww, cute baby" but on a bad day it's like I can't escape them.

Horse That blog is killing me! Grin

Waves It is nice to know that you're in the same bag of crazy as other people sometimes.

TenTon What about the bathroom??

wavesandsmiles · 06/11/2012 13:45

Oh bear you just made me laugh out loud at my desk at the thought of your fanjo being reserved for the members of a particular band!

In terms of the regularity, there was some myth that JSing too much decreases the chances, but in normal healthy swimmers, apparently it is a case of the more the better. But, for everything you read on t'internet, there is something to contradict it. I am still trying to wipe the discovery of the fact that saliva eats sperm from my mind and in any case completely ignoring it

We are having so much work done on the house (or at least, doing it ourselves as much as possible), I am trying to grab every opportunity to get it on, otherwise we are likely to spend the next 12 months sleeping and having no luck with the babymaking thing at all.

Good luck with the jumping tenton Grin

Bearface · 06/11/2012 14:13

Eek waves - it makes me feel all weird- they're so young! Gross! Grin

AndIfATenTonTruck · 06/11/2012 15:51

The bathroom and kitchen have doors but are rather echoey and I do tend to make the odd, um, squeak...

BoyMeetsWorld · 06/11/2012 17:23

Loooove this thread :)

Horse I'm intrigued now. I've done many thinks dans le boudoir but Backdoor debauchement ain't one of them. Mainly because I supposed it would hurt & not get much out of it. Is it possible to orgasm that way then? (debating giving DH a little treat for all his sperm donation) Blush

TenTon lol at the lack of doors!! Can't you just pretend there's a spider in the bed you both really need to find??? Or put up a Warning: Procreation traffic cone at top of the stairs?

AndieMatrix · 06/11/2012 17:43

Boy lol @ Warning: Procreation Grin
Re: back door action. Some women can orgasm that way, some can't. Same as vaginally. Enough lube and being relaxed will negate the pain factor....unless DH is particularly well endowed in th girth department. Wink it can feel weird obviously. I personally don't like any 'deposits' left there because if the after effects. Blush I think I've said enough....possibly too much.

frogchops · 06/11/2012 17:52

Haha I'm laughing away at this traffic cone idea! And I know your question wasn't aimed at me regarding the back door party....but if you haven't yet tried thiswont me tell you to prepare well before giving DP this 'treat'!! .... From my own experience which was once (and never again!) it was possibly the most painful thing ive ever felt hurt and actually bought tears to my eyes. Dtd was over, in fact I wanted him no where near me, lol, quite a mood killer.

PerditaMcLeod · 06/11/2012 17:54

Name: Kittenkatzen
Age: 33
Location: West Sussex
Any DC?: Nope
TTC for: 7 months (htf did that happen?? )

Name: Countrybumpkin2
Age: 25
Location: Scottish Borders
Any DC?: No
TTC for: 1 month

Name: AndIfATenTonTruck
Age: 33
Location: Watford
Any DC?: DS, 3
TTC for: starting now!

Name: Wavesandsmiles
Age: 34
Location: Channel Islands
Any DC: DS, 8, DD, 7, DSS, 10, DSS, 8
TTC for: nearly 2 months

Name: 33PinkLadyApple (changing to 34 tomorrow )
Age: 33
Location: Essex
Any DC: Nope
TTC for: 3 months almost

Name: Bearface
Age: 33
Location: deepest darkest Essex
Any DC: No
TTC for: 2 months in earnest

Name: Brodicea
Age: 32
Location: East Sussex-by-sea
Any DC: no
TTC for: 3 months (thanks to skipped period and major bout of thrush)

Name: DingDongBelle
Age: 30
Location: Naarfolk
Any Dc: DS 18mo
TTC for: Ooh, about a week :D

Name: Redshoes56
Age: 33
Location: Sneaking in from NJ, USA
Any Dc: no
TTC for: 6 months, 2 in earnest

Name: AWomanCalledHorse
Age: 25
Location: Kent
Any DC: DS 10months old
TTC for: 10 months, 1 mc (Oct 2012)

Name: frogchops
Age: 29
Location: midlands
Any Dc: no
TTC: first month

Name: Rockchick1984
Age: 28
Location: Liverpool
Any DC: DS 19 months
TTC: 2 months

Name: PerditaMcLeod
Age: 39
Location: East Sussex
Any DC: DD 9
TTC: 2 months

Bearface · 06/11/2012 18:09

Hi Perdita - not seen you for a while, no?

Giggling out loud at all this back door talk and cones, but mainly because I was getting confused between back doors and tenton's description of lack of doors and creaky action!!! I'm guessing this is a crossover? Still made me chuckle. Smile

PerditaMcLeod · 06/11/2012 19:49

Hi Bear.

Been busy with the whole wine'n'shagging thing Grin

How have you been?

After total fail last month and ERTD arriving in the middle of a business trip to India, am determined this month will be the one!

frogchops · 06/11/2012 21:12

So I gave DP the night off, (because he asked so nicely!) and have just told him it was only the one night and to fix up for later! I think he's more shocked that I'm suggesting this.
Although I'm sooo bloated, I feel like I need to pop my stomach with a pin! Have got heartburn too, which always gets worse when I lie on my back :-/

ChristineDaae · 07/11/2012 07:43

Morning all, I've been away for a while waiting for ERTD to settle in. Congrats to any BFPs I've missed.
I have started keeping an eye on cycles for the first time ever, ERTD is due on Sat so fingers crossed it doesn't show!!